Fantasy Lies Beyond the Reach of Time

Not speaking to Blaire and Brian was killing me inside but I needed to.

I needed to work out my feelings.

It's hard to determine if you love someone as a friend or something more. I had that problem with Blaire but once she left, I realised that I didn't love her as a friend.

I don't want that to happen with Brian, but I also don't want to break Blaire's heart. I don't want to loose either of their friendships.

I slowly run my fingers through my hair; my fringe slowly flopped back down one strand at a time. “Fucking hell” I muttered to myself. This was a serious dilemma.

I did the only thing I could do in this situation; I put on my headphones, picked up my drumsticks and started to play.

- - -

I stopped when the door opened, Blaire was standing there. Her beautiful blue iris' were rimmed with red and her skin was ashen. It was obvious she had been crying.

“Jimmy I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but I want answers” she demanded.

I as taken aback, she was never like this. I must have made her mad.

“Babe, I'm sorry” I apologised.

“Don't Babe I'm sorry me, tell me what is going on” she shouted, picking up a notebook that I had wrote drum notations in and threw it at me.

I avoided another blow with a larger book and tried to explain, but she wouldn't give me give an answer.

“Are you cheating one me?” she shouted, throwing more of my belongings across the room.

“Fuck, stop it Blaire!” I bellowed.

She froze, staring at me in disbelief.

“Give me a second to explain before you start throwing stuff about” I said, breathing heavily. I was finding it very difficult to keep control. “Blaire, I'm having problems with Brian at the moment, that's all” I explained.

She went slightly pink, “So your not cheating one me?” she asked meekly.

“No of course not, don't be stupid” I answered.

Well, not technically, is what I thought.

She ran over and wrapped her arms around me, “ I was so scared I was going to loose you again” she mumbled.

I gently stroked her hair with my fingers and said “I would never leave you”

That's when I realised that I loved Blaire. I didn't love Brian. And I felt so guilty for thinking it. Brian was my best friend.

After a while, I managed to convince Blaire to leave me alone for a bit so I could give Brian a call. I know he isn't going to be happy.

After a few rings, Brian picked up, “Hello?” he said.

“Hey Bri, its Jimmy” I answered shakily.

“Oh hey Jimmy” he said happily.

“Brian I don't want to tell you this...” I started.

“You don't feel the same do you?” he interrupted.

I stayed silent for a second then said, “I do love you Brian, but your my best friend, I don't want our friendship to be ruined”

“Of course not Jim” he answered, then he just put own the phone.

I sank to the floor. I had a horrible feeling that it wasn't going to be the same with him.