Fantasy Lies Beyond the Reach of Time

The blackness was silent and blissful. There was nothing to worry about. No nightmares. No horrible thoughts plaguing my mind. I could have stayed there forever. Things started to invade my beautiful silence; the scream of sirens, people talking, beeping. Blaire. She sounded so sad. So broken. Why had I done this to her? Then I heard another voice. Brian's. Then I remembered why I did it. It was his fault.

I slipped back into the silence then I awoke, it seemed almost instantly after I passed out but I knew it wasn't. The light was bright, I couldn't see. I blinked a few times, trying to get the room into focus, but everything seemed blurred. I saw a silhouette out of the corner of my eye. “Blaire?” I managed to croak, my throat thick, dry and painful.

“No sweetie, I'm your nurse Jane” the figure said softly, her voice kind and motherly.

“Where's my Blaire?” I asked.

“She went home, she had been here for three days straight and needed sleep” Jane answered, fiddling with something in my left hand.

I blinked a few more times, the room coming into slightly sharper focus. Probably the best I was going to get without my glasses on. “How long have I been here?”

“Almost two weeks” she replied, “You almost died”

“I know” I whispered, closing my eyes slowly, stopping the tears that threatened.

“I'll go and make sure Blaire is called, okay sweetie?” Jane said kindly, leaving the room.

I noticed my glasses were on the bedside cabinet. Blaire had probably put them there for me when I woke up. I reached over to grab them, but a searing pain in my wrist stopped me. I glanced down at it; my arm from my hand to my elbows were covered in thick bandages. I had really done some damage. Strangely, I was more worried about my tattoos than anything else.

I sunk deep into the uncomfortable pillows and stared at the wall. A TV played in the corner but I couldn't see it, it must have been some sort of soap opera from the dialogue.

Suddenly, the door burst open and I could just make out a very angry looking Blaire standing there. “James Sullivan” she scolded, “You scared us all half to death you fucking idiot”

I shrunk even further into my pillows. Damn, this woman was going to make a good Mom. She came and sat on the chair that was next to my bed. I could see how drained and ill she looked and guilt started to bubble away in my stomach.

“Why Jimmy?” she asked softly, her voice cracking a little. “Wasn't I good enough any more?”

“It isn't you” I replied softly, trying to take her hand in mine but my fingers felt thick and didn't seem to want to move how I wanted them to.

Blaire grabbed my hand and kissed my bandaged knuckles. “I read the letters. What did Brian do?”

Horror swamped over me. I hadn't expected me to live. Let alone her read the rest of the letters. “It was nothing” I whispered.

She sighed. “If you don't want to tell me, fine”

“I'll tell you one day baby. I'm just not ready now” I replied.

“I wouldn't have been able to raise this kid without you” she mumbled.

“You could have” I said. “Your strong Blaire. Stronger than you give yourself credit for”

Our moment was interrupted by all the guys filing in, delighted that I had awoken. I glanced at Blaire, and saw she was staring at Brian curiously, wondering what had happened between us. She had no idea and she wouldn't have been able to guess, there was no way in hell.