Sequel: Palm Trees ›
Seashells
hope you like the boxers
February 12th, 2007
I thought about you the whole flight home. You never left my mind.
When I got home, I forced you out of my mind. I didn't want to complicate things with my home life. I didn't want to be dragged down by the fact that you weren't there. And I knew that if I talked to you or something, I'd want you to be there. I also knew that was out of the question, so I avoided any thought of you to eliminate any possibility of pain (a stupid move).
But when your birthday came around, I had to think of you. You got me a present for my birthday, and I felt obligated to get you one also. Problem was, I had no idea what to get you.
I tried texting Sim for suggestions, but she never answered. Eventually, I tried calling her, but it always went straight to voice mail. I figured she was ignoring me for whatever reason, so that wasn't an option.
As a last resort, I turned to my friend, Minh. She was my best friend at home and I thought she might have some ideas.
Now, she knew I went to an island every summer and she knew I had friends there. But she had no idea who they were and no idea that you existed. Why? For one, it was just too hard to explain everyone to her. The other reason... It was irrational, really. I didn't want to share the thought of you with someone else. I wanted you to be mine and all mine. It was stupid and selfish but that's how it was.
When I told Minh about you, she freaked out. "Why didn't you ever tell me you had a summer fling?" she nearly screamed at me.
"It wasn't a fling," I murmured. I answered this way because I didn't want it to be just a summer fling. I wanted it to be more than that. Plus, it wasn't a one summer kind of thing either. So technically, it didn't count.
"Whatever. And now you're going to send him a present? That's so cute!" she squealed. Yeah, she was the type to gush over things.
"Yeah, when I get an idea of what to send him."
"Maybe I can give him some of my rice," she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. She was also the type to make racist jokes about herself, and rice was one of her favorite topics.
"He probably has enough of that," I said, going along with her joke.
"What? Is he an Asian too?"
"Yeah."
"And you never told me!" she put her hand on her chest like my answer really hurt her.
"What does it matter?"
"Because I'd love to meet another of my kind. What's next, black people?" She was very concerned with people's races. Don't ask me why, it was just her. And don't get offended either, it was just her harmless jokes.
"My best friend on the island is black, you know."
"What has the world come to?" she said dramatically.
"Diversity."
She rolled her eyes. "Wrong answer."
"What's the right answer?"
"There is none." Now that I think about it, she was just as irrational as me. Just in different ways.
"Yeah... so anyway, what should I get him?" I asked, getting back to the point.
"What did he get you for your birthday?"
"Well, you know the ice cream shirt?"
"The adorable one with the three ice cream cones?"
"Yup. It's a long story," I said, then proceeded to explain it to her.
"That's so cute!" she said. I could tell by her eyes that she was genuinely happy for me. "You should do something that relates to it. But something funny, so he doesn't think you're the most boring and sentimental person ever. He sounds like someone who would like a sense of humor."
"Yeah. I just don't know what though."
"Get him boxers or something."
"How would that be a good idea?"
"One with pictures of ice cream on it." She paused. "Because his ass is so delicious. Well, at least I hope so."
"That's slightly inappropriate, Minh."
"Just being honest," she said, shrugging her shoulders innocently. "You should totally check it out though. Then hit that. Also, make sure he takes his pants off around you."
Well, I figured all I needed was another game of truth or dare, Matt-style. We never got around to that but I was okay with that. I really never wanted to play a game of truth or dare again.
Your birthday came and I gave you a phone call. I didn't really say much. All I remember is, "I hope you like your present."
"Ice cream?"
"Something like that." Then I hung up because I had to go eat dinner. I found that just talking to you brought you back to my mind, like I knew it would. I just kept thinking and thinking and it was ridiculous. It wasn't in an "I'm so in love with you" way. Just thoughts about who you were to me, and if it would ever work out.
It just made me look forward to summer even more. It was still winter, and then spring came. It was so long, Aden, and I really didn't want to deal with the wait. I wanted to forget the longing to see you. But in the spring, every time I saw a butterfly, I thought of you.
I thought about you the whole flight home. You never left my mind.
When I got home, I forced you out of my mind. I didn't want to complicate things with my home life. I didn't want to be dragged down by the fact that you weren't there. And I knew that if I talked to you or something, I'd want you to be there. I also knew that was out of the question, so I avoided any thought of you to eliminate any possibility of pain (a stupid move).
But when your birthday came around, I had to think of you. You got me a present for my birthday, and I felt obligated to get you one also. Problem was, I had no idea what to get you.
I tried texting Sim for suggestions, but she never answered. Eventually, I tried calling her, but it always went straight to voice mail. I figured she was ignoring me for whatever reason, so that wasn't an option.
As a last resort, I turned to my friend, Minh. She was my best friend at home and I thought she might have some ideas.
Now, she knew I went to an island every summer and she knew I had friends there. But she had no idea who they were and no idea that you existed. Why? For one, it was just too hard to explain everyone to her. The other reason... It was irrational, really. I didn't want to share the thought of you with someone else. I wanted you to be mine and all mine. It was stupid and selfish but that's how it was.
When I told Minh about you, she freaked out. "Why didn't you ever tell me you had a summer fling?" she nearly screamed at me.
"It wasn't a fling," I murmured. I answered this way because I didn't want it to be just a summer fling. I wanted it to be more than that. Plus, it wasn't a one summer kind of thing either. So technically, it didn't count.
"Whatever. And now you're going to send him a present? That's so cute!" she squealed. Yeah, she was the type to gush over things.
"Yeah, when I get an idea of what to send him."
"Maybe I can give him some of my rice," she said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. She was also the type to make racist jokes about herself, and rice was one of her favorite topics.
"He probably has enough of that," I said, going along with her joke.
"What? Is he an Asian too?"
"Yeah."
"And you never told me!" she put her hand on her chest like my answer really hurt her.
"What does it matter?"
"Because I'd love to meet another of my kind. What's next, black people?" She was very concerned with people's races. Don't ask me why, it was just her. And don't get offended either, it was just her harmless jokes.
"My best friend on the island is black, you know."
"What has the world come to?" she said dramatically.
"Diversity."
She rolled her eyes. "Wrong answer."
"What's the right answer?"
"There is none." Now that I think about it, she was just as irrational as me. Just in different ways.
"Yeah... so anyway, what should I get him?" I asked, getting back to the point.
"What did he get you for your birthday?"
"Well, you know the ice cream shirt?"
"The adorable one with the three ice cream cones?"
"Yup. It's a long story," I said, then proceeded to explain it to her.
"That's so cute!" she said. I could tell by her eyes that she was genuinely happy for me. "You should do something that relates to it. But something funny, so he doesn't think you're the most boring and sentimental person ever. He sounds like someone who would like a sense of humor."
"Yeah. I just don't know what though."
"Get him boxers or something."
"How would that be a good idea?"
"One with pictures of ice cream on it." She paused. "Because his ass is so delicious. Well, at least I hope so."
"That's slightly inappropriate, Minh."
"Just being honest," she said, shrugging her shoulders innocently. "You should totally check it out though. Then hit that. Also, make sure he takes his pants off around you."
Well, I figured all I needed was another game of truth or dare, Matt-style. We never got around to that but I was okay with that. I really never wanted to play a game of truth or dare again.
Your birthday came and I gave you a phone call. I didn't really say much. All I remember is, "I hope you like your present."
"Ice cream?"
"Something like that." Then I hung up because I had to go eat dinner. I found that just talking to you brought you back to my mind, like I knew it would. I just kept thinking and thinking and it was ridiculous. It wasn't in an "I'm so in love with you" way. Just thoughts about who you were to me, and if it would ever work out.
It just made me look forward to summer even more. It was still winter, and then spring came. It was so long, Aden, and I really didn't want to deal with the wait. I wanted to forget the longing to see you. But in the spring, every time I saw a butterfly, I thought of you.