Seashells

August 4th, 2007

"Come on Cassie, you need to get some color," Sim tried convincing me. "You're like a ghost."

"Sim, we live on an island. With beaches. I'm pretty sure we don't even need to try to tan."

"Maybe if you didn't wear all the SPF like, fucking a billion shit."

"It's only like forty-five!" I protested. "Seriously, I don't want skin cancer."

"It's not like you're going to never going to use sunscreen again," she said. "Just get some color into you and then you'll be good."

"You know, I'm probably not going to tan at all and just get more freckles."

"Just get your pale freckly ass over here."

She hung up and I sighed. I knew that it was pointless to try and refuse her. She'd probably come to my house and drag me outside while pouring tanning oil on me. That would be hard to explain to my parents. I started to put everything I needed in a bag and then considered "forgetting" my bikini. But then she'd make me walk back and go get it. Friends could be so cruel.

I changed and then got a ride with Austin, who was going to the ice cream parlor. It was close enough and I got a small ice cream before walking to Sim's house. She told me to go right through the gate and out to the pool. It still didn't make sense to me why she even had a pool when she never used it. I mean, we have the ocean already. Why would you need a pool?

I found Simoya already sitting in the back at a small table with an umbrella. On it she had food. It was mostly healthy stuff, like salads and fruits.

"Lunch," she said as I walked through the gate. "Then tanning."

"But-"

"You're not getting yourself out of this one, Cassidy."

Sometimes I wished I could just stand up to her, but she was extremely persuasive. And it's not like she was trying to hurt me or anything, really. Still, I didn't particularly want to do this. "Whatever. I don't see why you need to tan."

"Trust me, I can get blacker than this."

"Yeah..."

"It makes me look healthier," she explained, though she looked healthy enough to me. "And don't worry, you get a reward for this."

"Oh?" I said. Her idea of reward and mine weren't exactly the same.

"I invited Matt and Aden to go to the beach with us later. You can show off your lovely new tan."

"Mmm, skin cancer. How attractive."

She rolled her eyes in that familiar way. "You're not going to get skin cancer."

I still didn't really believe her. Those pictures from health class in seventh grade scarred me for life. So I tried to eat as slowly as possible and delay it while I wished that it would rain. Too bad the sky was completely free of clouds and the sun was high in the sky.

"Let's go," Sim said, stacking the plates on top of each other. I dreaded this moment but went along with it. She went to one of the chairs by the pool and set her towel on it, then started taking off her shirt.

"Ooh, take it off," I said.

"You know I usually don't do this for free," she said. Then she threw a bottle of tanning oil at me.

I got the message and starting stripping also. Out in the bright sun I could see how pale and freckly I really was. Maybe a tan would be a good thing. Then I looked at the bottle of tanning oil. "I hate this stuff."

"I know, it's all oily and gross," she said. "But sometimes we have to put up with these things for beauty."

"Or skin cancer," I said again. She either didn't hear me (which I doubt) or she just ignored me.

I put the nasty stuff on my skin and Sim did the same. Tanning wasn't really bad. We just laid out in the sun for who knows how long. We were just talking about random stuff that I don't even remember. Sometimes we stopped talking, though, and I think I might have fallen asleep a few times. Maybe.

After we were done we went in to her house and took showers. Sim went to her parent's bathroom and I used hers. When we were done, she asked, "So, how does it feel?"

"Not any different at all," I said. I looked down at my hands. "Seriously, I look exactly the same."

"It shows up in a few hours," she said. "I think you'll notice by the time we go to the beach."

"I hope so. I didn't go through all that for nothing."

We fixed our hair, got ready for the beach. Sim put my bikini in the wash along with hers, saying that we weren't going to be doing anything that needed our swimsuits. It was just a hanging out kind of thing.

Then we went to the beach and met you and Matt there. Hanging out with you guys was something I loved. It felt like everything was right. My best friend was there, someone who knew me so well. Her guy was there, and he was also my friend. He was the one who kept things hilarious (and... interesting). And then there was you. Ever since that day we talked about everything, I just felt so much closer to you. You weren't just a dream anymore.

Nothing special happened that day, but it was still great. Just being with friends was always great, and with someone who I hoped was more than a friend. When it was getting late, Sim suggested we watch the sunset from the pier. It was one that wasn't used anymore, so that was good, but it was a pain in the ass to climb to it. It was in a closed off area which would usually send a red flag up for me, but mostly everyone I knew had been on it at least once before so it was safe enough. We just had to climb up a huge hill and around instead of taking the stairs like normal people.

Eventually we got there. We sat, talking and laughing while our feet hung off the edge of the pier. I was kinda afraid that I was going to fall off but it wasn't really that high, and I knew how to swim so I was okay. I think Matt was scared, even though he didn't admit it.

The sun started sinking lower into the sky and everyone shut up. It was gorgeous, and you were sitting right next to me. I honestly thought that moment was perfect, Aden. Call me a hopeless romantic if you want. That's what I am. You went to put your arm around me and I leaned into you.

Then a burning pain went through my shoulders. "Ow!" I said.

"What?" you said, moving away quickly.

I touched my shoulder and sure enough, my skin was extremely hot. I looked as best as I could and saw that it was also slightly red. I realized I was burned. "Sunburn."

"Oh, that sucks," you said, and you moved a bit away from me so it wouldn't cause any more pain. That made me pretty sad, but the sunburn made me even sadder. I always got burned on my shoulders first, so I didn't know if it would start showing up in other places.

"It's because you're so pale," Sim said from your other side.

You only held my hand after that, and it was good enough. But the whole time we watched the sun go below the water, all I could think was, "Fuck you, Sim."