Seashells

August 27th, 2007

I really didn't want to leave. I never really liked leaving the island anyway, because returning back home, to Ohio, was a bit disorientating when I had no idea what was going on.

Leaving you was the saddest, but I knew I had next summer to look forward to. And coming home wasn't so bad. I had friends at home, and there was always that first day of school rush when you basically got jumped by your friends.

"Cassie! How's the sexy Asian?"

"Minh, stop talking about yourself," I said, even though I knew she was referring to you.

"No, really," she said. "I only talked to you like once all summer, so this better be good."

"Well... He's good," I said. I still didn't like to talk to other people about you.

"You totally got in his pants, didn't you?" she said, right in the middle of shoving nasty school cafeteria food in her mouth. (I always brought lunch from home so I'm clean.)

"I wish," I said. "Summer was okay, though... I was grounded for three weeks."

"What the hell? What did you do to get grounded for that long in the summer?"

"Long story."

"Do tell."

I sighed, knowing that she'd get the story out of me sooner or later. "I snuck off the island with my friends and my mom found out. Actually, I didn't tell her that I was going to be leaving at all. She just thought that I went out for the day, but then I came back two days later and yeah..."

Minh looked at me, shaking her head slowly. "Cassidy, you are the smartest person I have ever met."

"Thanks."

The bell rang shortly after we had that conversation. Minh said she still wanted to talk to me, but we didn't have any classes with each other after lunch. So she invited herself over my house after school. Good thing she could drive (although she also liked to joke about how Asians are horrible drivers).

"So what really happened this summer?" she asked as we were on the road to my house. "I can tell something did."

I think back to the day I had to leave the island. "Well, right before I had to leave, he kissed me. But he's done that before so it's not really anything special."

"Better than not kissing you at all."

"Yeah."

"Anything else?"

I was a bit hesitant to tell her at first, but then I thought what does it matter? She's one of my best friends. "We talked about... us."

"And? What, are you together now or something? Are you just not telling me?"

"No, he said we have to wait until next summer."

She frowned. "So... is he rejecting you? I don't know why he would want to wait. You had the whole summer..."

"Well, I kinda waited until the end of summer to talk to him about it."

"Cassie!" she said, slamming on her brakes at a stop sign. Luckily, there was no one else around and it vaguely reminded me of Sim's driving. "Why the hell would you wait that long to talk to him?"

"Uh... I don't know."

"You need to have more confidence, Cassette Tape." She used my nickname from fifth grade and it really struck me right then that she was my best friend. She could tell why I did things without my explanation.

"I know, I know. It's just... I don't even know."

"Well, are you staying in touch with him?" We pulled into my driveway. "Please say yes or I'll shoot myself."

"Kind of."

"Oh god, where's my gun..."

"No, it's not my fault! He just doesn't have a phone so I can't text him or anything."

"Does the Internet mean nothing to you?" she asked. We walked into my room and she invited herself to lie down on my bed.

"No, that's what I meant by kind of. He gave me his email."

"This is not the fifth century."

"His parents are strict, okay?"

She didn't say anything, just looked around my room. I followed her eyes, wondering what this room would look like to you. Would you think the pale yellow walls were childish? What about the poster of Hello Kitty above my bed? And what would you think of the messy pile of clothes behind my door?

Then I realized that this is exactly what Minh meant. I needed to be more confident with myself or things would never get anywhere. You promised me an amazing summer on your part, and I promised myself I would make it even better on mine.