Seashells

July 18th, 2008

After that day, I kept getting closer and closer to you, and I hated it so much. I could name so many things about you: your favorite color, your favorite dessert (duh), even the name of the guinea pig you had when you were five.

I hated it so much because I knew you were thinking of someone other than me, but at the same time I loved it because maybe you'd realize how I felt about you and choose me over her. You did say you weren't sure about her. And maybe being away from her would help you decide.

Summer was going great, and Matt had more plans for us. They were increasingly strange, but sometimes, ironically, he surprised us with something normal.

"Guys, let's go to an amusement park," he said.

"I don't want to know what your definition of amusement park is," you said to him.

We were all lying around in Sim's huge living room. It was pretty early in the morning (for us, at least) because it was before lunch. Usually we didn't wake up before lunch but Matt told us all to meet at Sim's house (without her knowledge) and so we did.

Karen was quiet as usual, but she spoke up. "I think that's a good idea."

"I never thought someone would say that about Matt," I mused.

"Shut up," he said. "I'm serious though, let's go."

"I don't have the money to get in," Des said. "I'm pretty much broke."

"Wait, if we go to the one close to here then I can get us in," Sim said. "My cousin or some shit like that - I don't really know how he's related to me but whatever - owns the place."

"Is that why you're so fucking rich?" Halden asked.

"Possibly," Sim said. "Anyway, if you want to go, then when do you want to go?"

"Now," Matt said. "We haven't done anything super interesting in like forever."

"It's only been a week since that huge oil spill," I said.

"Whatever. I'm bored, I wanna go."

Long story short, we took the ferry over to the mainland (with permission this time) and went to Sim's grandma's house. No one had brought anything, especially not money, but Sim said she had us covered. It didn't stop me from feeling bad, though. I told myself that Sim had enough money to the point where she could basically use it as tissues (although I don't think she would want to).

It reminded me of the night we went to the carnival, although this place had a lot more things to do. Somewhere in my mind, I hoped that the night would end in the same way, even thought I knew it wouldn't.

When we got there, Sim got us in just like she said she would. I don't know how she did it because I wasn't really paying attention, but she was talking to the guys at the entrance and they just let us in. I don't think she even had to show an ID or anything. I wonder if anyone else could tell them they were related to the owner and get in for free.

We went on a few rides - the basics. They weren't anything outrageous as they were just our starters. We wanted to take a break and eat before going on any other rides, but that would have been a bad idea for anyone who got motion sickness so we didn't. I was getting pretty hungry though.

It was a pretty cloudy day and we didn't expect it, but then it started to rain.

"Let's go dance in the rain!" Matt said, running from the candy store that we were in. He was the only one who did so.

"Let's go on a ride," Des said. "Or just get away from this fag."

"That's insulting to homosexuals!" Matt yelled from outside.

"No kidding."

Just then, we saw a flash of lightning. The thunder followed a few seconds later, indicating that the storm was pretty far away.

"We should go do something before they shut all the rides down," Sim said.

"Roller coasters, quick!" you yelled, and everyone took off.

When we got there, the line was pretty short due to the fact that everyone was taking cover from the rain. Luckily for us the rain wasn't the cold kind and it was tolerable. Sim still muttered something under her breath about getting us passes so we could cut in front of the line. I didn't think it sounded fair but I wasn't complaining.

"I don't want to go on this!" Matt said. "I feel like I'm going to fucking die."

"Pussy," Halden said.

"I love cats," Matt said.

Then it was our turn to get on the death-machine (as Matt had put it). I ended up sitting next to him somewhere in the middle. You had gotten a seat with Karen up in the front. I was pretty jealous (but not of the part where you were sitting with Karen).

"Cassidy?" Matt asked as the guy came around to check that we wouldn't fall out and die.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Am I going to die?"

"Yes."

Right on time, we started moving. I looked over at him and I could see how nervous he was to be up so high. And we were still getting higher. I held out my hand and instinctively, he took it, just before the first drop.

Matt didn't scream. He had already told me he wasn't a screamer (though in a different context) and I guess he was right. He did, however, cut off all the circulation in my hand. Other than that, the ride was pretty fun. I could hear Des and Halden screaming some rather creative and interesting... things. The rain did get a bit heavier, though.

When we got off, Matt was still holding tightly onto my hand. I could tell that he was shaking a bit. In a way, it was kind of cute.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"Not really," he replied. "I'm never doing that again."

We met up with everyone else. I was consciously aware of the fact that Matt was still holding my hand and that I didn't particularly dislike it.

"We should go eat something," Sim suggested. "Before we get soaked."

"I wanted to go on the pirate ship thing, though," you said.

"Me too," I added. The ride was a classic and I couldn't miss it.

"Fine, you guys go then," Sim said. "Meet us back at the restaurant."

"Which one?"

"I dunno, the Asian one. Aden should be able to find it without a problem. The rice will call to him."

"Of course it will," you muttered, and then we took off.

The ride was pretty uneventful, but nevertheless fun. During it, the rain really started pouring down on us and I wonder how attractive I must have looked. When we got off, there was more lightning and all of the rides were closed down.

"Well this is fun," you said as we were getting soaked."

"The best."

"Great way to make the memories last, huh?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Didn't I tell you it would be the best summer of your life?" you asked me.

"Yeah," I said, although I could think of many ways you could make it even better.

We wandered around for a while, looking for the restaurant. Then you finally said, "I think we're going in circles."

"We probably passed that fountain like five times already," I noted.

"Let's go sit on it. I don't feel like walking anymore," you said. "Besides, we're already wet, so it can't really hurt."

"Lazy ass." But I followed you anyway.

"Why does everyone think rain is romantic?" you said after we had been sitting for a minute or so. "It's actually kind of... dirty."

"It's the way they see it in movies."

You looked at me. "Do you think it's romantic?"

"Kind of," I admit. "I've always wanted to kiss someone in the rain."

You smiled at me, and I smiled too, wondering if I was finally getting you back.

"I'll keep that in mind."