A False New Start

By the time Catie came back to the room, I had calmed down and my eyes were no longer red from crying. I still had my class at two-thirty, the only math class I had to take in college, and this time I was grateful that we got out early.
I went with Catie to dinner and tried to act normally but she could tell something was up.

“Is everything okay, Bella?” she asked once we sat down and began eating. She kept her voice low so the two girls who were sitting with us, Chelsea and Becky who were our neighbors, couldn’t hear over the roar of the dining hall. “You’ve barely said anything all afternoon.”

“I’m fine,” I said with a false smile. “Just thinking about some stuff.”

She dropped it and I attempted to make more conversation with everyone. Chelsea was talking about her introduction to Russian class which she was sure would be the cause of her death. She was majoring in International Studies and was taking the Russian and East European Studies track.

“Why did I choose Russian?” she moaned.

“Why did you choose Russian?” Catie asked with a laugh. “What are you going to do with it?”

“I don’t even know. My family and I took a trip to Russia a few years ago and I fell in love with it so my dad was like ‘hey, why don’t you go major in Russian and you can work there’. Yeah, great idea, Dad. Now I get to learn like the most confusing language ever.”

“Switch majors,” Becky told her with a sigh. “She’s been complaining about this since we moved in but she’s actually excited about it,” she told Catie and me in a dramatic whisper. Chelsea gave her a little shove and the two of them laughed. They were friends from high school and though dorming with friends didn’t seem like the best idea, it looked like it was working for them. The only person I could imagine living with would be Angela but I would be worried about something happening and ruining our friendship. That reminded me that I should call her soon and see how she was getting settled at the University of Washington.

Becky and Chelsea continued to entertain us throughout dinner and then afterwards when we went to their room to watch The House Bunny. After the movie, I left their room so I could call Angela. It was about seven which would make it four her time. I vaguely remembered her schedule and I was pretty sure she didn’t have class past three on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Even if she did have later classes, she probably had her phone on silent or even off, she wouldn’t risk getting in trouble.

The rang four times before Angela answered. “Hello? Bella?”

“Hey, Angela. How’s everything going?”

“Pretty good, I have one more day off and then classes start Thursday.”

“Wow, lucky. I have my first class today.” I sat down on my computer chair and jumped slightly when it rocked back. I still wasn’t used to it yet.

“How’d that go?”

“It was…kind of intense.” Even though I trusted Angela and considered her my closest friend besides Jacob, I knew I couldn’t tell her about Alice and Jasper. “It just looks like there’s going to be a lot of reading and essays involved.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m looking forward to the least. How’s Vermont? Do you miss Forks?”

I laughed a little. “Well, I miss the people from Forks but not the rain. It’s been a little cloudy here but that’s it, I don’t have to wear a rain coat every time I step outside.”

“That’s good,” she chuckled. “It’s so weird not seeing everyone. I mean, I see Ben and a few people from school but there are so many people missing like you and Mike.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t looking forward to moving to a new school again but I’ve met some nice people. How are you and your roommate getting along?”

We continued talking for a little bit before she had to leave and head to dinner with Ben. We promised to call each other over the weekend and give an update on our classes and everything. I hung up feeling better than I had all day. Angela and I might not be the closest people in the world but she was so nice and calm and just normal compared to my crazy life, talking to her was always good.

The phone call had done a good job with distracting me and I was actually able to focus on the first book we were supposed to be reading for English. We hadn’t been assigned it yet but there wasn’t much else to do and I would rather read it twice than miss something. I was still reading when Catie came back to the room around nine.

“Hey, you should’ve come back after your phone call,” she said while searching for her pajamas. “We got some other rooms together and played Truth or Dare, it was insane.”

“I could hear,” I told her with a chuckle. There had been some shouting and laughter from the common room over the past twenty minutes. “I just wanted to get a head start on some work, I’m so afraid of falling behind.”

“I hear ya. That stupid math class is what’s going to kill me. I’m an English major! What do I need to know math for?”

“And the same with biology. I can understand most of the gen ed requirements but some of them it’s just like, I will never need this, it’s a waste of time.” Needless to say, I had to take an introductory biology class and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

Even though I didn’t have class until noon the next day, I went to bed early when Catie did. The day had just been too crazy. I was still trying to stick with the hope that when I woke up, the whole day would have been a dream and Alice and Jasper would be nowhere near me.

When I woke up, unfortunately it was Wednesday and the day before really had happened. I had to head off to my biology class at noon and the only bright side I could see was that Alice and I didn’t have it together. It wasn’t until I was halfway to the science and math building that something hit me. I didn’t have the class with Alice but what if I had it with Jasper? I had no idea if he had entered as a freshman like Alice or if he was acting older. With how devious Alice was, I wouldn’t doubt it if she made Jasper take the three classes that I had alone.

With that realization that I may not have a peaceful learning moment at Middlebury, I continued trudging towards Smith Hall with a heavy heart. I had a lecture first followed by an hour and a half of lab. I was hoping that my teacher would be kind and let us out of the lecture early so I could have some free time before the lab.

The door to room three fifty-six was open so I walked right into the lecture hall. It was one of the larger rooms on campus, holding about ninety people. I think each building had one lecture hall, maybe two for the Liberal Arts building because it was so busy. The hall was a little more than halfway filled, there were only a few minutes left until class started, but I was able to find a seat in the back of the hall where I could get a good look at just about everyone in the class.

I spent the last few minutes before class began to scan the room and keep an eye out for the honey blonde hair and tall stature of Jasper. Each time I saw the back of some guy’s head who matched the description, I would be wrong. The teacher began class by having each row sign an attendance sheet and even then, I didn’t see him. It looked like I was safe for at least one class. Once I realized that, however, I grew furious. I shouldn’t be afraid to go to class because of someone and here I was, wasting time as I looked for someone who had tried to attack me. I once again, pushed the thought of all Cullens to the back of my mind and focused on Mr. Ziegler who was explaining what textbook we needed and what chapters we would cover over the semester.

We were released from class a half hour early which gave me forty-five minutes to kill. I decided to take a trip over the school bookstore to get the biology book and the lab manual, the only two books I hadn’t been able to get ahead of time.

The store was crowded with most students looking for textbooks or picking up a Middlebury shirt. I would have to get one but at another time. From the looks of the lines, it would take a little while to pay for my books and I didn’t want to take the time to find a shirt I liked and just waste time then end up being late to class. I quickly found the two books and began looking for the shortest line at the three cash registers. While I was deliberating, someone sidled up next to me and I groaned when a cool hand tapped my arm.

“Hey, Bella!” Alice chirped, smiling up at me.

“What are you doing here, Alice?” I growled. “I thought you were going to give me some space?”

“I know but I was talking to Jasper yesterday and he said I should apologize for springing all of this on you all of a sudden. He’s right, it was wrong of me to make sure we took some of the same classes and then just expected things to turn out fine in the end. Can you forgive me?”

“I really don’t know,” I sighed. “Just tell me, is Jasper going to be any of my classes?”

“No,” she said and I trusted her even though she was an expert liar. “He’s actually in the graduate school, he finds undergraduate school boring especially after high school. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I really don’t know what you would and wouldn’t do at this point, Alice. You already came to the same school as me and put yourself in three of my classes. What’s next? Are you going to move into my dorm building? Or maybe have Catie move and you’ll be my new roommate?”

She looked ashamed as I spoke. “I’m sorry, Bella,” she whispered. “I just want to look out for you even if you don’t want me to. I feel responsible for your safety, I left you behind once without any protection. I know I said I would give you some time to yourself but I just don’t feel right with abandoning you. You might not like it but…I’m going to be here for you.”

“Great. Well, I have to go, I have class in a little bit and I have still have to get through this line.” I had inched towards a line as we spoke until I was in one and we had moved forward a little bit.

“You wouldn’t let me buy those for you would you?”

It was obvious she already knew the answer, I had never let the Cullens pay for anything for me if I could help it. “No, I’ve got it. I guess I’ll just see you tomorrow.”

She smiled guiltily. “Am I allowed to sit next to you again?”

“Would it matter if I said no?”

“No, not really. I might not sit directly next to you, then, but I would still be nearby.”

“Then just do whatever you want but don’t be upset if I’m not very talkative.”

“I’ll understand. Thank you, Bella.” She looked like she was going to hug me but stopped at the last second. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She left me and I stared after her until she was definitely out of the store. By the time I paid and left the school store, I had about five minutes to get back over to the biology building and up to my lab classroom. I made it and found an empty seat at one of the tables of four. At least this class was smaller than the lecture was, there were about twenty of us.

We got started with a quick lab after our teacher, a senior graduate student who seemed nervous about teaching us, gave an overview of what kind of labs we would be doing and how we had to set up our notebooks which would be collected every few weeks for a grade. I was the only girl in the group. Two of the guys, Andrew and Mathias, were juniors and the other guy, Caleb, was a freshman. There wasn’t much time to talk during class, Andrew and Mathias weren’t that chatty to begin with and I was focused on my lab write up. We managed to get through the lab with no problems, I think the four of us would work well together. I made sure all of the information was recorded, Caleb was focused on making sure we did the correct measurements, and the other two got whatever materials we needed. If that was how it would be for the semester, I figured we could get a good grade for the class.

“Hey, Bella,” Caleb said as I walked down the hall. I couldn’t wait to get back to the dorm and get ready for dinner with Catie.

“Oh,” I looked up from my phone. I was checking to see if Jacob had said anything, we hadn’t talked since I left. “Hey, Caleb. What’s up?”

“Where are you heading?”

“Over to Hadley. I’m meeting up with my roommate at five and then we’re going to dinner.”

“It’s only four now, what are you going to do until then?”

I shrugged. “Probably just chill around in my room, maybe look over the stuff for bio.”

“Would you want to grab a cup of coffee? I know you’re going to eat later but coffee’s not that filling.” He chuckled and nervously ran a hand through his slightly shaggy brown hair. He was tall, nowhere near as tall as Jacob, but maybe an two or three inches shy of six feet. “Eh, you know what? Never mind, it was stupid of me to ask.”

“Actually, that’d be great,” I said, surprising myself. “Do you want to come with me to drop my things off? I really don’t want to carry around a backpack any longer than I have to.”

“Okay. Where are you living?”

“Over in Hadley.”

“Me too! I’m the fourth floor.”

“I’m second.”

“That’s not too bad. At least if we have homework or a project for class, we can easily work together.”

Caleb was a nice, very human, guy. We chatted on the way to Hadley. He came from New Jersey and was majoring in international business and Italian. He thought it was so interesting that I came from Washington. I assured him that Forks really wasn’t that interesting – excluding the supernatural creatures – and said that Phoenix had been a lot more interesting.

“Man, you’ve been all over, huh?” he asked. We were in the staircase of the building at that point.

“Just Forks, Phoenix, and here. It’s not that exciting. I’m really tired of moving, actually.”

“Where do you think you’ll end up living after school?”

“I’m not sure. My dad lives back in Forks and my mom’s down in Florida. I guess it’ll all depend on where I can get a teaching job. Who knows, maybe I’ll decide to stay in Vermont. I’ll see what happens in four years. What about you?”

“Jersey’s pretty cool so I’ll probably live there the majority of the time but I’m hoping to spend a lot of time in Italy. I’ll gain about twenty pounds a year, but it’d be so worth it.”

We reached my room and I was suddenly self-conscious about what Caleb would see. Catie and I weren’t slobs but we were still getting settled with our things and figuring out where everything would go. That and the fact that Catie didn’t always put her clothes away when she was finding an outfit left a bit of a mess in the small room.

“Sorry about the mess,” I apologized, tossing my backpack onto the computer chair and grabbing my wristlet that held my room key, ID card, and phone.

“This is messy?” he laughed. “Try having two guys who are used to their moms doing most of the cleaning, living together. I’m pretty sure in two weeks, Toby and I are going to have to make a pathway in and out of the room, it’s going to be so filled with clothes and crap.”

I thought we would head right out but Caleb didn’t seem to be in any rush. He was looking around the room but kept his gaze mostly on my side. His eyes came to a rest on the picture of Jacob and me at graduation. It was taken after I had abandoned that hideous yellow robe so I was standing in a white t-shirt and shorts, having forgone the usual white sundress, looking even more like an albino next to Jacob’s russet skin. We were hugging, it was a few weeks before we broke up and we were still happy at the moment.

“Your boyfriend?”

“Ex but we’re still really close. It was just a friendship that should have stayed a friendship.”

He nodded along to what I said. “I had one of those but it was so awkward afterwards that we kind of just fell out of touch.”

“That sucks. I can’t imagine that happening with Jacob and me again.”

“Again?”

I blushed, I hadn’t let anything slip but I had to be more careful about what I said. “Yeah, a few months before we dated, there was some personal stuff going on with him and we didn’t hang out for weeks. It was awful.”

“I can imagine. I hated when Cassie and I had a fight and didn’t speak for days. Weeks would have been awful.”

“It was but we were able to work things out in the end.”

“Does he go to school here?”

“No, he’s actually in his senior year back in Forks.”

Caleb did a double take with the picture and I remembered that while I had gotten used to the pack looking much older than they are, to other people they still looked like they were twenty-five compared to their actual age.

“He’s a senior?”

“Yeah, Jake just looks old for his age. Should we get going?” I wanted to get the conversation away from Jacob and anything that would go towards the supernatural.

“Oh, yeah. So, where do you want to go, Starbucks or Bagel Emporium?”

“Um…I guess Starbucks. If I’m around bagels, I’ll end up getting something to eat and I won’t have room for dinner.”

“Starbucks it is.”

We left my room and I breathed a sigh of relief. Even though there was no way Caleb or anyone at Middlebury could guess about my past, I knew I would always be worried about someone discovering the secrets I hid. The only thing I could really do is control the conversations and make sure nothing suspicious was ever said. It may have been paranoid but I don’t think I would ever be able to shake that way of thinking.

On the way to Starbucks which was located in the lobby of the library, I kept the conversation on Caleb as much as possible. I asked about his family and the town where he grew up. He assured me that New Jersey was nothing like the Jersey Shore. In his words he had “only met a few oompa loompas and none of them were as stupid as Snooki”. I assured him that I never watched that junk reality TV and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank God, I could never pretend to be interested in what was going on in those people’s lives.”

“I know, it’s like how can anyone actually be interested in what’s happening in celebrities’ lives?”

“So you don’t care about any celebrities? What about…Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom? Don’t all girls love them?”

“Maybe most do but I don’t really care about their personal lives. The only thing I care about with famous people is when an author I like is going to release a new book. Besides that, everyone can live their own lives and I’ll stay blissfully ignorant.”

“You’re definitely not like other girls, thank God.”

I wasn’t sure whether I should be offended or not. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Seeming to realize that he may have said something wrong, Caleb backtracked. “It’s nothing bad, it’s just that most girls I know are so into that stuff and they’re always telling me about it like I’m supposed to care. Then when I try to tell them that I don’t need to know who broke up or who’s going to jail, they get annoyed.”

“Oh. Well, then I’m glad to be different.”

“What can I get you?” the cashier asked.

Caleb let me go first and I ordered a hot chocolate, I wasn’t in the mood for anything with caffeine and because we would be having dinner in less than an hour, I felt no need to get a muffin or cookie. Caleb got a regular coffee and it didn’t take long for our simple orders to be filled.

There weren’t any tables in Starbucks, it was just a little store in the lobby of the library, so we took our hot drinks outside to one of the picnic tables that was empty.

“What made you come all the way across the country for school?” Caleb asked after we had sat in silence for a moment.

“It’s a good school for my major and they gave me a scholarship I couldn’t pass up.”

“Two very good reasons. Where else were you looking?”

“Two schools in Florida so I could be closer to my mom and one in California since it was only a few hours away from my dad.”

Talking to Caleb was easy. I didn’t have to scramble for conversation, it just flowed naturally. Talking to him actually reminded me of all the times Jacob and I hung out in his garage while he fixed up the bikes. Those were the times when I could just lose myself in the conversation and not worry about all my problems. I didn’t get as comfortable and safe a sense as I had gotten when I was with Jacob around Caleb but it was still a nice feeling.

I completely lost track of the time when my phone buzzed with a text message from Catie.

Where are you? I’m inside with Chelsea and Becky

“Oh, shoot!” I exclaimed while typing back an apology and telling Catie that I was on my way. It was five-fifteen. “I forgot about dinner.”

“Whoops. Guess I talk too much.”

“Nah, I was just so into your story about how ghetto your high school was.”

He chuckled and downed the rest of his drink. “Well, I guess I’ll let you go to your friends. I’m glad we did this.”

“Hey, why don’t you just come to dinner too?” I asked, once again surprising myself. I was never this forward, especially with guys.

“Really? Your friends wouldn’t mind?”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Come on, let’s get over there before they finish eating.”

Proctor Dining Hall had three different food services; there was a bagel place, a smoothie place, and the all-you-can-eat buffet. We usually ate at the buffet for dinner because there was a wider variety to choose from. Along with the usual pizza, pasta, and burgers that were available they also had a different main course every day or you could get a wrap made. There was also a salad bar and soft serve ice cream. They had everything there.

Catie had told me that they had a table towards the back of the room so Caleb and I quickly got our food, I went with the roast pork and potatoes that was the special dish of the night, and began our search for the three girls. I found them at a table that was situated next to the large wall made of glass. It looked out on the quad where a few guys were tossing a football and a few people had blankets out to lie out and enjoy the nice weather while it lasted.

“Hey, guys,” I said, taking my seat next to Catie. “This is Caleb, we have biology together and he’s in Hadley up on the fourth floor. This is Catie, my roommate, and our neighbors Becky and Chelsea.”

Everyone said their hellos and, when Caleb left for a second to grab a salad, I heard the praise and approval from the girls. They assumed we were interested in each other and I blushed and stumbled over my words to tell them that that was not the case. My cheeks were still pink when Caleb returned.

The girls dropped what they were saying and instead focused on asking Caleb about himself. At least they were fine with me inviting him to dinner. I wasn’t used to a situation like this, inviting a guy friend out with the girlfriends. With Edward, it was never really an option and even when I was with Jacob, school was pretty much over and the only two people I really hung out with over the summer were Angela and Jessica. Since neither of them really knew Jacob, I had never really invited him to come along when all of us were hanging out. I found it much more fun to hang out with the wolf pack, anyway.

Walking back to the dorm after dinner, I thought I saw Alice but I wasn’t positive. If it was her then good, let her see me happy with my human friends. She could report back to her brother that I was happy and fine without him. Hell, it was good for her to see how happy I was without all of them in my life. Maybe that would help to get her to back off.

I never thought I could have such harsh thoughts toward Alice but things changed. People change, and that had happened to me. Maybe I would be able to forgive Alice eventually but it would take more than her just popping up in my classes and being cheery every day. She had to earn my trust back and even then, things most likely wouldn’t be the same.

Caleb walked Catie and me to our rooms then left for his own room. Thankfully, Catie waited until the door was shut behind us to say anything.

“Isabella Swan,” she chided, standing with her hands on her hips but she was smiling, “look at you go. You haven’t even been here a week and you’re already moving in on a hot boy.”

There was no way I couldn’t blush at that. “Catie! It’s not like that. We’re in the same biology group and after class he wanted to get a cup of coffee. There was nothing romantic about it.”

“Are you blind, Bella? Getting coffee is like the most cliché romantic thing ever! Also, I notice you didn’t argue that he was hot.”

I sputtered incoherently and she just smiled more broadly. All I could think was, if she thought Caleb was hot, and I couldn’t argue that he was good looking, imagine what she would think of Edward. Ugh, why did I have to think that?

“I’m guessing he’ll ask you out by the end of the month. If I’m wrong, I’ll never bring it up again.”

“Catie, you’re insane. There’s nothing between Caleb and me, we just met!”

“There is a thing called love at first sight and it does exist. Caleb looked a little smitten with you even if you didn’t notice. Just ask Becky and Chelsea, I’m sure they’d agree with me.”

“Then all three of you are delusional. Maybe you should go to the health center.”

She huffed and stood with her arms crossed, glaring at me. “Fine, if you don’t want to admit there’s nothing between you two then be that way-”

“I will,” I happily said.

“But, when I’m proven right, you’ll owe me an apology for being so stubborn.”

“Yeah, okay. If that ever happens, I’ll apologize.”

She smiled, satisfied with my answer, and went over to grab her pajamas and shower caddy. A lot of people on our floor were still at dinner or class so this was the perfect time to get a hot water shower in. I decided to call Jacob before showering, I missed my personal sun.

The third ring cut off abruptly and Billy answered. “Hello?”

“Hi, Billy, it’s Bella. Is Jacob around?”

“Ah, no, I’m sorry, Bella. He’s out with the pack for a few hours.”

“Oh.” I tried to keep my voice upbeat, I knew it was something Jacob had to do but I did miss him. “Okay, could you have him call me back when he gets in if it’s not too late? Or he could call me tomorrow, I’m out of class by two.”

“Will do. How’s school going?”

“It’s good.” I didn’t feel the need to mention Alice and Jasper. At the moment, it wasn’t that big of a deal and if I told Billy then he would tell Jacob and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for him to know that I was once again around vampires. If Jacob knew that, he would probably find a way here to protect me. That was the last thing I needed done. I wouldn’t worry him until it was absolutely necessary.

“Good, good. I should go, Bella, I was heading over to Sue’s when you called.”

“Oh! Sorry, talk to you later, Billy.”

“Goodbye, Bella, stay safe.”

There wasn’t much left to do. I showered quickly, finishing before Catie who had to take the longest showers ever, and headed back to the room. I was bored. There wasn’t much to do yet since I’d only been to three classes. I settled into bed with Linkin Park playing on my iPod and the book I had begun yesterday in my hand. There wasn’t anything else to do in the dorms. Becky had a night class, Chelsea was catching up with some friends she knew from high school, and Catie had to do her hair after her shower which seemed to take forever. I was going to enjoy the free time I had while it lasted, though. Before long I was sure I would be swamped with papers and outlining chapters or studying for tests. So I settled into bed with my book and read for a few hours, determined to just relax for a little while.