I'm Choking on This Ecstasy

I stood there frozen. My eyes were wide and unblinking as he stared at me. I went to take a step back but stopped.

“Why?”he asked still staring at me.

“Why what?”I said with a little bit of an edge to my voice.

“You know what,”he said.

“Yeah and,”I asked and began walking away.

“We need to talk about it,”he stated.

“Okay,”I said crossing my arms,”but not here.”

“And why not?”he asked bitingly.

“Because my band is going on in about a few minutes and we still need to run through shit,”I retorted.

“After that?” he asked.

By this time we both had our arms crossed and we were a few inches from each other. I was clenching my fists. As I was about to say something, someone cut me off. That someone was running towards us and jumped on Andy. I shot the guys questioning look.

Andy hugged the girl back and he stated,,”Vee this is Juliet my girlfriend.”

“Hey,”I said.

She, possessively she wrapped her arms around his waist,”Hi,”she said. She just stared at me

Faye came running up a few seconds later,”Vee, DJ’s looking for you, something about a shirt of his you might have and we need you to run through a couple things.”

“Okay,”I said then turned to Jake, Jinxx, Ashler, and CC,”so you guys coming to watch?”

“Well of course,”Ashley said.

“Well meet me backstage before,”I said,”because DJ can’t find his own clothes.”

“Okay,”they said.

I was walking out when a hand grabbed around my bicep and pulled me back a little. “What do you want Andy?”I asked.

“We have to talk,”he said.

“Okay,”I said and pulled away,”just not now.” I took off in a jog to catch up with Faye.

“So that’s Andy,”she said as I caught up with her,”he doesn’t look the same.”

“So I’m not the only one that noticed that,”I said.

“No and there’s something about that girl hanging on him that bugs me,”she said.

“Me too,”I mumbled.

“Huh?”she asked not hearing me. I just shook my head and we walked up the steps to the bus.

I walked in as my name was called. I walked to the back to see DJ digging through his suitcase shirtless.

“What shirt are you looking for?”I asked.

“My black Jack Daniels shirt,”he answered.

I walked to my suitcase and began rifling through it. I found it near the bottom of my suitcase and pulled it out. “This shirt?”I asked.

“Yes, thank you,”he said standing up and grabbing the shirt and sliding it on.

“So how was everything while I was gone?”I asked as we started leaving the bus.

“It was pretty quiet and peaceful,”he said.

“Sounds boring,”I stated.

“Kinda, so how was the show?”he asked.

“The show was fantastic,”I said quickly.

“What happened,”he said seeing right through me.

“Talk to you tonight?”I asked.

“Of course,”he said and pulled me into a hug.

“You should carry me,”I said.

“You’re so lazy,”he said but still bent down and picked me up.

“Ya but you love me,”I said.

He just laughed. We got to the stairs and he carried me up. He set me down and I gave him a hug. Some one cleared their throat.

I turned around,”Hey,”I said seeing the guys plus Andy and his new girlfriend. DJ wrapped his arm around my waist.

“So when do you go on?”CC asked cutting through the awkwardness.

“Um,”I looked at Uri and he held up 5 fingers,”about 5 minutes, so DJ this is Andy and his girlfriend Jill-”

“Juliet,”she said cutting me off.

“I don’t care,”I mumbled loud enough for DJ to hear and he let out a chuckle,”okay so DJ this is Andy and his girlfriend Juliet, Andy, Juliet this is DJ.”

They greeted each other and Uri called me over,”I can sense tension over there,”he said.

“Is that the reason you called me over?”I asked.

“No we go on in like 30 seconds,”he said. I nodded and walked back.

“We go on in a like 30 seconds,”I said.

DJ pulled me into a hug,”Break a leg.”

“Great now I will,”I said playfully pushing him away,”where’s my mic?”

“Right here,”Tommy said walking over.

“Thanks Tommy,”I said leaning and kissing his cheek. I ran on to the stage turning my mic on. I screamed,”Hello Denver,”I received a scream from the crowd,I’d ask how you’re doing but that screaming told me,”I laughed and the crowd screamed again.”Well we’re The Fallen and we’re here to kick ass”with that we began our first song.

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“Thank you, I love you Denver!”I shouted and ran off the stage. I stripped off my over shirt.

“She’s stripping!”Uri yelled as he ran away.

“Oh totally,”I said sarcastically. DJ walked over and pulled me into a hug.

“So how was your second official show?”he asked.

“Better then the first cause I wasn’t as nervous,”I said hugging back.

“Good,”he said pulling away.

I stretched,”I’ve got to definitely take a shower,” I said

“Definitely,”Nikki said walking in.

“You have no opinion,”I said to him.

“Yeah and your short so you have no speaking right,”he said.

“Oh that’s cold,”I said.

“Yeah yeah, just go take your shower,”Nikki said.

“Yes sir,”I said and saluted him. I was headed to the bus when someone pulled me back. I turned and saw it was Andy.

“We have to talk,”he said.

“Actually I have to take a shower,”I said.

“We can talk after,”he retorted stubbornly.

“What about your girlfriend Jessica?”I asked.

“You mean Juliet,”he said.

“Yeah yeah,”I said waving it off,”so what about her?”

“What do you mean?”he asked.

“Well I mean you have told her what had happened before I left, or did you leave that out?”I asked.

“No, I told her and she trusts me not to cheat,”he said.

“Yeah yeah, so we’ll talk after my shower,”I said,”meet me by my merch tent.” He nodded and walked off. I sprinted inside the bus and took a quick shower.
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I slipped my sweatshirt on over my tank top and grabbed my glasses since I took my contacts out. I slipped my flip flops on and said bye to everyone on the bus.

I walked straight to the merch tent only stopping to greet and sign stuff for a few fans. I spotted Andy a few feet from the merch booth.

“Hey,”he said as I walked up.

“Yo,”I said.

“So where are we gonna go talk?”he asked.

“There’s like a park a block down the road,”I said,”so I was thinking there.”

“Okay,”he said and we took off walking. The walk there was awkward and very silent. Once we got there I went the swings and sat down. Andy leaned on one of the posts, that held up the swingset, by my swing.

“So,”I said.

He took a deep breath before starting, “Why did you leave?”

I looked at him, “I need to get away from everyone, especially you. I hate cheaters, you went and slept with me when you had a girlfriend, even if she was just a slut. She was still your girlfriend.”

“That doesn’t make up for that fact that I told you I loved you! I told you I loved you and you still left.-”

I cut him off, “I had to leave, I know you were trying to change my mind, but you didn’t. I had to leave and I did, all you did was make it harder.”

He looked at me, frustration radiating off him, “I told you I loved you! We had fuckin sex god damn it!”

“Yea! We had sex, so what? If every couple that ever had sex stayed together, do you think we would have the issues we have today? It doesn’t make a difference!”

Andy was about to say something again before I cut him off. I didn’t want to hear his truthful plea, “I carried your fucking baby for seven months just for him to die. I don’t have time, and nor do I want to hear about how you told me you loved me.”

Andy just stood there mouth open. “Wait what?”he asked completely dumbfounded.

“Yes I carried your child,”I sighed,”you know what I’m done.” I turned and got about a few feet away.

“What you’re gonna run back to DJ?”he sneered.

“You have absolutely no say in what I do or who I talk to,”I growled back at him,”because I didn’t get no say when you started dating Jamie-”

“Juliet,”he cut me off.

“Do I look like a give a flying fuck on what her name is,”I said,”now I am leaving because I don’t need your shit right now.”

“What ever run back to DJ,”he said.

I whipped around,”You have no idea what you’re talking about, me and DJ are just best friends-”

“We were best friends too,”he said.

“Quit cutting me off,”I yelled,”I know we were, but you screwed me over, literally.”I began walking away and he kept yelling for me but I wouldn’t turn around