Frank on a Leash
Chapter 18: I'm in love with you and it's breaking
Some days, life is just great for Frank Iero. He can walk down the school hallway with his dark tinted aviator sunglasses slipped far down on his nose, far enough for his sultry hazel eyes to poke out playfully from above them, chewing on the inside of his jaw like he just didn't give a fuck about the world. Girls followed his every move as he stalked lazily down the full hallway, avoiding getting tossed and bumped around despite his small stature. Guys would randomly come up to him, clap him on the back, and divulge sweet little stories about what girls they had fucked last night, or where the next good party was, so Frank could be sure and get himself some ass over the weekend. He would just grin politely at them and respond with a 'hell yeah' or something to that affect to pacify them, despite the fact that he could care less about slutty girls. He did like boys after all.
On days like these, nothing seemed to really bother him. He didn't mind the loud pep rally they had first period, even though it gave him a migrane and he had to go to the nurse. The homework from second period was no big deal either, so he was in a pretty decent mood for those two brief hours.
Mikey saw the way all those girls would stare at Frank, and venom started to course through his body, swirling its way around his veins in a pretty jade green mist. A normal person would think that he was jealous of Frank's popularity. A normal person would be dead wrong. Frank was his--in Mikey's mind, at least-- and he did not appreciate it when he caught people checking him out. Only he was allowed to do that. But Frank was beautiful and on display for the world to admire. It would be criminal to cover up his beauty.
Frank stopped at Mikey's locker with a cocky grin on his face and his sunglasses pushed up on top of his head. He'd just been asked out by two very pretty girls--that he, of course, rejected, saying only that he liked someone else and apologizing politely--so of course he's cocky. And seeing Mikey just made him happier, so he wrapped his arms around Mikey's shoulders and pressed his nose into Mikey's cheek, breathing out deeply as he did so and laughing when some of his face powder scattered into the air. He loved this time of day, the ten minute break right after second period when he could find Mikey and do this. The nose thing had became routine, his sign of affection for Mikey that wasn't too obvious. He never did this with anyone else, not even Bob. But he could actually kiss Bob if he wanted to. He didn't dare full out kiss Mikey. He could sneak small kisses--kisses that got him through the day, pressed lightly to his collar or his hair, anywhere that he wouldn't feel. It made him feel guilty, stealing kisses he didn't think Mikey would want, but he couldn't help himself. Mikey was his world and any little act of pure affection made his stomach knot up and cause him pain in the sweetest way possible. It felt sort of like waiting for something amazing. The waiting is agony, but you know that it will come eventually and that makes it all worth it. But Frank didn't know whether this would end up as a happy love story, and he didn't worry to much about it any more. Living through it, just having Mikey this close was his something amazing, and he didn't even have to wait.
Mikey took his breath away. When he thought about how sweet and cuddly they had been last week when Mikey had fallen asleep--and he thought about it alot, he fucking dreamed about how pretty Mikey looked all fucked up, curled up in Frank's arms--he got the worst shit-eating grin and could not speak.
Yesterday, he had been arguing with some friends about whether Back in Black started with an E chord or an A chord, and somehow one of his buddies mentioned Anberlin out of fucking nowhere, really nowhere because AC/DC had nothing to do with Anberlin, they were polar opposites on the music scale, and it made him think of their song. Well, his song to Mikey, which was The Unwinding Cable Car, and his throat locked up. He couldn't speak for the rest of the conversation. Man, he has it so bad for his friend.
"Hi, Mikey. How was your day so far?" Frank asked brightly. He looped his arm around Mikey's. Well, tried to until Mikey let his arm hang limp at his side and it was obvious he didn't want Frank to glomp all over him.
Frank pouted sadly, not understanding what he did wrong. Mikey wasn't getting anti-social again, was he? Frank's shoulders slumped dejectedly and he cocked his head to the side, looking up for an explanation. He felt stupid, he knew that if Mikey didn't want to touch him, it should be fine. The overbearing nature he'd pushed all his other friends away with came shining out of him, and he wanted to shut it out and let Mikey breathe, but it was he was so worried about losing Mikey that it was nearly impossible. It stung like little bees all over his skin that Mikey rejected him.
Mikey saw Frank's hurt expression. He wanted to make it better, he really did! He wanted to walk through the hallways linked arm-in-arm with Frank and bumping hips as they went, not caring about the off little stares they would get and the whispers that made the news travel. Frankie, the hot kid who could get away with wearing sunglasses inside, was friends with the goth kid! *gasp*
Of course, they should know that by now, with all the times Frank hugged Mikey during the day, but Frank hugs everyone. They would think that he was just an uncharacteristically sweet guy being nice to the poor social outcast. But if they went around the school gripped onto each other like Frank seemed to want, people would talk shit about it. Strangers were always mistaking them for boyfriends, and Mikey didn't want the school thinking that.
"Uhm...Frank, I'm not feeling so well today, sorry. I might just go home," Mikey said, meaning every word. That rejected look that he put on Frank's face made bile rise up in his throat. He had no right to hurt Frank. To make things a little better he slipped a timid arm around Frank's shoulders and gave him a quick hug, their chests pressing together momentarily, pulling away before Frank could even think of responding. He was just so confused at Mikey's behavior today.
"Oh, okay, Mikey. I hope you start feeling better." But don't leave me here. Without Mikey, Frank was stuck alone at lunch, which he would probably spend worrying about Mikey until he blows a fuse in his brain and powers down like a robot. He was starting to think of himself and Mikey both as robots. It makes sense, right? No? Well, fuck you, you un-imaginative little person.
"Thanks, Frank. Um...see you later, I guess..." Mikey said, stepping away slowly, once again leaving Frank behind to mope over the loss of the only comfort he has anymore.---------------------------------------
When Bob walked up to the solitary Frank at lunch, Frank was adamant in ignoring him. Sure, he was lonely and bored out of his mind watching the grass grow and he could feel the stinging of his tears threatening to spil down his cheeks, and god, he just needed someone to hold him and kiss him and promise that everything will get better, but Bob hurt Mikey and betrayed Frank's trust. But he still loves Bob, even now.
At first, Bob just sat next to Frank, noticing tears welling up in his eyes but remaining like a statue. He tilted his head back, directing his gaze up to the tree they were sitting under, giving Frank a few minutes to accept his presence. He knew he could get Frank to crawl back into his arms if he went about it the right way. He just needed a day when Mikey wasn't around and Frank was broken and vulnerable, in need of someone to pick up the pieces of his shattered little body when he realised how alone he was. When he finally realised that he'd given up everything for a boy that did not love him.
"Frank." Bob's voice, gentle and melodic and carrying with it the allure of safety and unabashed love, broke the stuffy silence between the two so that Frank craned his head to look where the voice came from. Of course he knew that Bob was sitting beside him, but he didn't really grasp the fact until now.
"Frank, are you okay?"
Frank shook his head. No, he wasn't fucking okay. Mikey was gone, and that's not okay. Mikey blew him off earlier--he knew that Mikey really wasn't sick--and that wasn't okay either. Sure, he fooled himself at the time that Mikey just wasn't feeling well, that he really did want to see him but he was a bit under the weather, but it was so easy to believe Mikey when he was so close, when he hugs Frank and lies. All Frank wants to do is believe him.
"C'mere, Frankie, sweetie," Bob cooed, opening his arms for Frank to fall into. Frank complied and sunk into Bob's hug, grateful to feel that love again. To hear those nice pet names that Bob had for him, the ones that made him believe it's possible for someone to love him. Bob's arms gripped tighter around Frank's body, gathering him up closer to his chest and pressing a kiss to his temple. Frank flinched at the touch of Bob's lips, looking up in wonder. Was it wrong to do this?
He didn't want to lead Bob on nor did he want to cheat on Mikey. In his mind, kissing another boy was cheating, even if he and Mikey weren't dating.A few tears slipped down Frank's cheeks that he didn't bother wiping away, he just nuzzled his face into Bob's jacket to hide them. Bob combed his fingers through Frank's hair, massaging at his skull and making him whimper.
"Bob," Frank whispered, nudging his mouth closer to Bob's ear so he'd be able to hear his next few words. He was hesitant in speaking, worried that Bob would get angry with him after he said it. But Frank needed to let him know that nothing could happen between them. He needed to let Bob know that his heart belongs to Mikey, to do whatever he may with the precious, fragile organ.
"I love him, Bob. What do I do?"
Bob's breath caught in his throat. He should have seen this coming, right? I mean, Frank already said he didn't love Bob, so the next logical step was to fall in love with Mikey. Even if Mikey was a horrible little goth boy who was sucking all the life out of his perfect, adorable Frankie. *grr*
Why can't Frank see that Mikey is all wrong for him! He's not even gay! And he doesn't care about Frank. If he really cared he wouldn'y run away like this, he would stay and help Frank like any decent friend would.
"I...um...I don't know, Frankie. I guess all you can do is hope that he loves you back." Even though we both know he doesn't. "But, Frankie, it's not the end of the world if he doesn't. You deserve someone better than him anyway. I mean, he's a complete assho-"
"Bob, please. Mikey's not an asshole, And I'm sorry that I love him, but I do. And I also know that he'll never love me back, but that's okay because he needs me," Frank said. As long as he loves Mikey and Mikey needs him, neither of them will be alone. Right?
On days like these, nothing seemed to really bother him. He didn't mind the loud pep rally they had first period, even though it gave him a migrane and he had to go to the nurse. The homework from second period was no big deal either, so he was in a pretty decent mood for those two brief hours.
Mikey saw the way all those girls would stare at Frank, and venom started to course through his body, swirling its way around his veins in a pretty jade green mist. A normal person would think that he was jealous of Frank's popularity. A normal person would be dead wrong. Frank was his--in Mikey's mind, at least-- and he did not appreciate it when he caught people checking him out. Only he was allowed to do that. But Frank was beautiful and on display for the world to admire. It would be criminal to cover up his beauty.
Frank stopped at Mikey's locker with a cocky grin on his face and his sunglasses pushed up on top of his head. He'd just been asked out by two very pretty girls--that he, of course, rejected, saying only that he liked someone else and apologizing politely--so of course he's cocky. And seeing Mikey just made him happier, so he wrapped his arms around Mikey's shoulders and pressed his nose into Mikey's cheek, breathing out deeply as he did so and laughing when some of his face powder scattered into the air. He loved this time of day, the ten minute break right after second period when he could find Mikey and do this. The nose thing had became routine, his sign of affection for Mikey that wasn't too obvious. He never did this with anyone else, not even Bob. But he could actually kiss Bob if he wanted to. He didn't dare full out kiss Mikey. He could sneak small kisses--kisses that got him through the day, pressed lightly to his collar or his hair, anywhere that he wouldn't feel. It made him feel guilty, stealing kisses he didn't think Mikey would want, but he couldn't help himself. Mikey was his world and any little act of pure affection made his stomach knot up and cause him pain in the sweetest way possible. It felt sort of like waiting for something amazing. The waiting is agony, but you know that it will come eventually and that makes it all worth it. But Frank didn't know whether this would end up as a happy love story, and he didn't worry to much about it any more. Living through it, just having Mikey this close was his something amazing, and he didn't even have to wait.
Mikey took his breath away. When he thought about how sweet and cuddly they had been last week when Mikey had fallen asleep--and he thought about it alot, he fucking dreamed about how pretty Mikey looked all fucked up, curled up in Frank's arms--he got the worst shit-eating grin and could not speak.
Yesterday, he had been arguing with some friends about whether Back in Black started with an E chord or an A chord, and somehow one of his buddies mentioned Anberlin out of fucking nowhere, really nowhere because AC/DC had nothing to do with Anberlin, they were polar opposites on the music scale, and it made him think of their song. Well, his song to Mikey, which was The Unwinding Cable Car, and his throat locked up. He couldn't speak for the rest of the conversation. Man, he has it so bad for his friend.
"Hi, Mikey. How was your day so far?" Frank asked brightly. He looped his arm around Mikey's. Well, tried to until Mikey let his arm hang limp at his side and it was obvious he didn't want Frank to glomp all over him.
Frank pouted sadly, not understanding what he did wrong. Mikey wasn't getting anti-social again, was he? Frank's shoulders slumped dejectedly and he cocked his head to the side, looking up for an explanation. He felt stupid, he knew that if Mikey didn't want to touch him, it should be fine. The overbearing nature he'd pushed all his other friends away with came shining out of him, and he wanted to shut it out and let Mikey breathe, but it was he was so worried about losing Mikey that it was nearly impossible. It stung like little bees all over his skin that Mikey rejected him.
Mikey saw Frank's hurt expression. He wanted to make it better, he really did! He wanted to walk through the hallways linked arm-in-arm with Frank and bumping hips as they went, not caring about the off little stares they would get and the whispers that made the news travel. Frankie, the hot kid who could get away with wearing sunglasses inside, was friends with the goth kid! *gasp*
Of course, they should know that by now, with all the times Frank hugged Mikey during the day, but Frank hugs everyone. They would think that he was just an uncharacteristically sweet guy being nice to the poor social outcast. But if they went around the school gripped onto each other like Frank seemed to want, people would talk shit about it. Strangers were always mistaking them for boyfriends, and Mikey didn't want the school thinking that.
"Uhm...Frank, I'm not feeling so well today, sorry. I might just go home," Mikey said, meaning every word. That rejected look that he put on Frank's face made bile rise up in his throat. He had no right to hurt Frank. To make things a little better he slipped a timid arm around Frank's shoulders and gave him a quick hug, their chests pressing together momentarily, pulling away before Frank could even think of responding. He was just so confused at Mikey's behavior today.
"Oh, okay, Mikey. I hope you start feeling better." But don't leave me here. Without Mikey, Frank was stuck alone at lunch, which he would probably spend worrying about Mikey until he blows a fuse in his brain and powers down like a robot. He was starting to think of himself and Mikey both as robots. It makes sense, right? No? Well, fuck you, you un-imaginative little person.
"Thanks, Frank. Um...see you later, I guess..." Mikey said, stepping away slowly, once again leaving Frank behind to mope over the loss of the only comfort he has anymore.---------------------------------------
When Bob walked up to the solitary Frank at lunch, Frank was adamant in ignoring him. Sure, he was lonely and bored out of his mind watching the grass grow and he could feel the stinging of his tears threatening to spil down his cheeks, and god, he just needed someone to hold him and kiss him and promise that everything will get better, but Bob hurt Mikey and betrayed Frank's trust. But he still loves Bob, even now.
At first, Bob just sat next to Frank, noticing tears welling up in his eyes but remaining like a statue. He tilted his head back, directing his gaze up to the tree they were sitting under, giving Frank a few minutes to accept his presence. He knew he could get Frank to crawl back into his arms if he went about it the right way. He just needed a day when Mikey wasn't around and Frank was broken and vulnerable, in need of someone to pick up the pieces of his shattered little body when he realised how alone he was. When he finally realised that he'd given up everything for a boy that did not love him.
"Frank." Bob's voice, gentle and melodic and carrying with it the allure of safety and unabashed love, broke the stuffy silence between the two so that Frank craned his head to look where the voice came from. Of course he knew that Bob was sitting beside him, but he didn't really grasp the fact until now.
"Frank, are you okay?"
Frank shook his head. No, he wasn't fucking okay. Mikey was gone, and that's not okay. Mikey blew him off earlier--he knew that Mikey really wasn't sick--and that wasn't okay either. Sure, he fooled himself at the time that Mikey just wasn't feeling well, that he really did want to see him but he was a bit under the weather, but it was so easy to believe Mikey when he was so close, when he hugs Frank and lies. All Frank wants to do is believe him.
"C'mere, Frankie, sweetie," Bob cooed, opening his arms for Frank to fall into. Frank complied and sunk into Bob's hug, grateful to feel that love again. To hear those nice pet names that Bob had for him, the ones that made him believe it's possible for someone to love him. Bob's arms gripped tighter around Frank's body, gathering him up closer to his chest and pressing a kiss to his temple. Frank flinched at the touch of Bob's lips, looking up in wonder. Was it wrong to do this?
He didn't want to lead Bob on nor did he want to cheat on Mikey. In his mind, kissing another boy was cheating, even if he and Mikey weren't dating.A few tears slipped down Frank's cheeks that he didn't bother wiping away, he just nuzzled his face into Bob's jacket to hide them. Bob combed his fingers through Frank's hair, massaging at his skull and making him whimper.
"Bob," Frank whispered, nudging his mouth closer to Bob's ear so he'd be able to hear his next few words. He was hesitant in speaking, worried that Bob would get angry with him after he said it. But Frank needed to let him know that nothing could happen between them. He needed to let Bob know that his heart belongs to Mikey, to do whatever he may with the precious, fragile organ.
"I love him, Bob. What do I do?"
Bob's breath caught in his throat. He should have seen this coming, right? I mean, Frank already said he didn't love Bob, so the next logical step was to fall in love with Mikey. Even if Mikey was a horrible little goth boy who was sucking all the life out of his perfect, adorable Frankie. *grr*
Why can't Frank see that Mikey is all wrong for him! He's not even gay! And he doesn't care about Frank. If he really cared he wouldn'y run away like this, he would stay and help Frank like any decent friend would.
"I...um...I don't know, Frankie. I guess all you can do is hope that he loves you back." Even though we both know he doesn't. "But, Frankie, it's not the end of the world if he doesn't. You deserve someone better than him anyway. I mean, he's a complete assho-"
"Bob, please. Mikey's not an asshole, And I'm sorry that I love him, but I do. And I also know that he'll never love me back, but that's okay because he needs me," Frank said. As long as he loves Mikey and Mikey needs him, neither of them will be alone. Right?