Forbidden and Mistaken

At dinner, my three besties didn't even want to talk to me. I felt like shit. Why when you tell the truth (or at least most of it), you get in deeper shit than when you kept the truth from them? It's terrible. I thought that if I told them the truth, that they would understand. But, no, they didn't get it. There was no sympathy for Eliza Allen when she becomes okay with Draco Malfoy. I sat away from them, with Neville. Not that it helped, Neville usually sat near the trio anyway.

"What's wrong?" Neville asked me.

"Nothing." I said while picking on my roast beef.

"Well, if you need anything..."

"I'm sure, Nev. I'm fine." I reassured.

"Okay. If that's what you say." He said while continuing to eat his dinner.

Hermione wouldn't talk to me. And we were roommates for crying out loud! But now, it didn't matter. My best friend wouldn't talk to me, or look at me! So I decided to go to Ginny's dorm. She would understand. Or at least I hope she'll understand.

I knocked on the door. "Ginny?"

"Who is it!" She called from the other side of the door.

"It's Eliza."

"Oh, hey!" She said delightfully as she opened the door. "So how was your holiday?" She asked.

"Fine. I'm sure it was better at yours though."

"Actually no...Bellatrix Lestrange and Yaxley invaded. Bellatrix set fire to the Burrow..." Ginny's bright smile faded.

"What? Ron didn't tell me about this! I could've...I could've...But Bellatrix was at my house..."

"It was the day after. You couldn't have known...It's not your fault, Eliza." She told me. "Mum and dad put it out quickly, no one was harmed."

"That's good...If someone was hurt...I...I'd-"

"It's okay, Ellie...don't worry..."

"Okay." I said as I pulled Ginny into a hug. How could Ron, Harry, and Hermione not have told me about the Burrow? This was outrageous! Bella was my family member. She was a Black. Ginny should've just said "One of your Death Eater cousins set fire to the Burrow. But whatever, it's okay, cause you're one of us." And she was right. I did feel bad about this. First killing Sirius. Now trying to hurt the Weasleys. It was Harry, for even going to the Burrow, yes. But it was also me. I should've asked them to stay...I could've prevented this somehow. Somehow.

"Ginny...I-" Wait. Should I tell her about Draco? After all that's been said? No. I couldn't. She'd be even more betrayed if I told her that I didn't hate Draco Malfoy anymore. That we were friends. That we were...that he was my boyfriend. That I loved him. I trusted Ginny, entirely. But now...now was not the time. I would tell Ginny when this died down. Of course...the trio would probably tell her. But I hoped they wouldn't. I really hoped that they would definitely not tell her. At. All.

I hugged her goodnight, then went back to my dorm. Hermione was already asleep. My bed was made, it's red and golden colours that reflected my Gryffindor personality. But I didn't feel like a Gryffindor at all. I felt worse than a Slytherin. I felt like I was a Death Eater. A real one. And I would be. It didn't make any sense. But I did have one idea. Just one. It might reveal all that I was doing, all that I was betraying to the Dark Lord, or it might help me, in more ways than one. I might be able to play for the right side, to help my friends rather than to deceive them. No, I couldn't tell Dumbledore...but I could tell someone. Someone I knew that I didn't trust entirely. But if it was worth my friends, I would take it.

There was one person that I think could help me.

That person was Severus Snape.