If Love Is Sweet, What Is This, Draco Malfoy?

The police had come and gone – after a lengthy explanation – and Drake continued to be locked up in Azkaban even though I was still alive.
For the first few months, I had not spoken to anyone other than Draco, though I was ecstatic around him. The ‘audience’ who had watched me wake up from a deep sleep were shocked at first. Their shock wore down slowly, replaced by curiousness and then frustration when I refused to respond to them. I spent most of my time with Draco, and I hated being apart from him. It killed me when he had to get up to go to the bathroom, because Draco leaving for short periods of time was like me not being able to breathe. And for the first few months Draco compelled anyway, and wouldn’t let go of me once. We were always touching, whether it was because I was in his arms or he was holding my hand, he never let go of me. Whenever he needed to go to the bathroom, he would keep me in my room and allow me to lock the door from inside while he rushed through his shower or whatever else. I became anti social and more or less a recluse towards others, especially the group of six who were often found in the Malfoy manor. My relationship with Draco grew quite a lot, and though it was surely supposed to be past the vibes of the ‘new relationship’ feel, it still thrilled me every time Draco looked into my eyes, every time he placed his lips softly on mine. And he was true to his every word that he had promised me. Not once did he pressure me to have sex with him. Instead, he stayed the tolerating, gentle guy he always was around me. In fact, he was my best friend as well as my boyfriend. Sort of like an intimate friendship. Draco made me feel comfortable and free; never disallowed me to do what I wanted, never prevented me from going my own way. In theory, that was how he usually acted. Occasionally, he wouldn’t let go of me in fear that I wouldn’t return.

After the first five months or so, our anxiety calmed, replaced with comfort of being around other people. We had made it clear that we had forgotten everything that had happened. As if our new relationship ignited a new start. A new history. If I wasn’t scared of everything that had happened, it might have been amusing how Draco and I could let go of around 18 years of our past so easily. And I was still scared, because although he was locked away and his soul taken from him forever, he still existed and that was enough to make me feel weak at the knees. Draco swore to always protect me, and I knew he would stay truer to this promise than any other. Even though he was confident about my protection, he was still not satisfied with the state I was in. I couldn’t blame him. Because every time he looked in my eyes, he saw a vast pool of hurt lurking deep inside, badly disguised by a sheet of happiness thanks to Draco being there for me. And every time I looked into his eyes, I could see the pain that equalled mine reflected inside his eyes too, along with and unforgiving glare he often threw at his own reflection whenever he thought I wasn’t looking. Sure it was hard, but we were healing.

Like I said, after our first five months, the false accusation Draco had in his eyes for himself and the pain had dulled until eventually it faded to a dim glow deep inside that would only burst into a full flame if he were ever to be mentioned again. And through and through, Draco made sure he would never be thought about again by either of us. The first few weeks were almost unbearable, and if it were not for our love for each other, I don’t know what I would have done. It didn’t help that each night I woke up in a cold sweat from one of my nightmares to see Draco by my side, watching me sadly. I would have pressed into him that he should go to sleep, but after waking up like that, it would hardly be fair to start in on him when he was already saddened, knowing what my nightmares were about without even asking me about them.

After a while, He eventually faded from my nightmares, replaced with nothingness, just a vast stretch of black darkness coating my dreams. It was just sleep. Slowly, as our relationship developed, I started having sweeter dreams. I often woke up suddenly, to see Draco’s face hovering right above mine. If I wasn’t recovering from a near heart attack, I might have screamed to wake up from having his face so close to mine all of a sudden. Not that it unsettled me; it just made me a little edgy. I trusted him wholly, so I wouldn’t have to be worried in that way. Draco usually smirked when I woke up, his face close to mine.

I smiled as I got dressed, thinking through the latest time, just last night, when I had once again woken from a sweet dream, deeply embarrassed

Draco’s face was above mine, so close that I wasn’t sure whether we were touching or not. I looked back at him, wondering what would cause him to position himself in that way.
“Had a dream princess?” Draco whispered, smirking. I was sure my tanned skin betrayed my emotions and was now a deep crimson. I nodded; my breathing coming raking. It always knocked the breath out of me every time Draco was so close to me. I couldn’t imagine how after such steamy kissing sessions, how after our bodies had been wrapped around each other intensively, that Draco could control himself and not pursue our actions. I would have easily given in, not bothering about taking my first time with him in the back of a bike shed or at home. In the more drunken times when I longed to be with him, Draco had peeled me off him and had to control himself. It was like he had taught himself some sort of serene self discipline. It annoyed me most times, that he could not give in so easily. I wondered if I’d repulsed him, but been too scared to ask, fearing the answer. I didn’t think of Draco as a shallow boy, the guy he used to be, but every so often I thought perhaps he was putting off our time because of some other reason than my beliefs and wants.

Draco’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts “About?...” he asked, his eyes seeming somewhat cheeky more than evil. A little taunting. I gulped, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck raise. I almost felt claustrophobic, as if Draco and I were locked in a very tight coffin that disallowed us to move. But I liked it. I liked the closeness and the sense of thrill. It made me want him more.
“I… can’t remember” I whispered, my thoughts scattered by his mesmerising eyes. He smirked
“Perhaps I could jog our memory?” he whispered, lowering himself a fraction so that his lips joined mine, before pulling away, leaving me wanting more. I leaned closer towards him for more, but he positioned his face in an angle where I couldn’t get my lips to connect with his.
“Damn you Draco Malfoy. You’re a seductive monster!” I said, annoyed. Draco smirked
“I’m sorry. I was just curious as to why you were gasping and sighing my name over and over in your dreams, moaning every so often” Draco teased. I gaped.
“You were eavesdropping?” I asked angrily. Draco smirked
“Eavesdropping? Baby I just might have to explain your ‘screaming in pleasure’ to the other six accommodating this house in the morning” Draco teased. I felt myself grow even hotter and looked away from his eyes. Draco’s surprisingly cool fingers coaxed my face up to his so that I had to look into his eyes; and he pressed his lips against mine softly. He rolled over to the side so that he seemed less intimidating to me, and I hugged into him, burying my face into his chest, already past the whole scene of my ‘dreams’. Draco hugged me back tightly, and I felt the muscles strain in his neck as I rested my head against his neck, and realised he was smiling.
“What are you so happy about?” I whispered, my lips moving against his skin gracefully. Draco let a soft moan escape his lips as mine stroked his neck, leaving a tingling sensation on his skin.

“This. This moment I mean. Just you and me” he whispered, kissing the top of my head as he tightened our hug. I smiled and looked up at him, sliding upwards so that my face was level with his. I didn’t need to say anything. It was like he could read my mind. I placed my lips on Draco’s, and kissed him passionately. I felt us tipping towards a sexual kiss, and pulled away gently. He could see why I did that in my eyes. Not that I didn’t want to, but I was putting him under great strain. He was only human to some degree, and he had so much to deal with already, so much self discipline that he could not relax from even slightly. It was like an alcoholic trying to recover, and I was a bottle of alcohol. It was enough for him to push the bottle away, but it didn’t help that I kept jumping back into his arms. Especially at night, when we weren’t as appropriately dressed; it was like me pulling the cork of the bottle so that he got a good whiff of the alcohol. If I poured a little against his lips, he might not be able to resist. So I had to behave myself and when I felt a sexual moment approaching whilst in bed, especially after I was aroused due to my dream, it wasn’t the cleverest thing to be kissing him like that. Draco smiled at me, grateful that I was helping him to stay under control.

Draco sighed, his fingers brushing over my cheek
“I still can’t believe you’re mine” he whispered, and I smiled. “Honestly, Maia. You don’t know how important you are to me. You’re like the core of my existence. Without you, I wouldn’t feel the need to live anymore. The little time that you were gone…” Draco hesitated, unwillingly entering that area of conversation. His eyes measured my every movement, trying to see if he should go on. Other than a slight tightening in my eyes, he saw no other reaction. Draco wasn’t the only one who knew self discipline, even if it were a little amount. “…It was like I was dying” he whispered, resolving the conflict in his eyes with one glance at me. “I was wondering how to kill myself… I didn’t want to go without you by my side. I thought about being selfish and perhaps jumping off a cliff with you hugged into me. And then I thought about dying then and there. Either way, I knew it had to be soon. In a way, I suppose I was eager to join you in the after life. It might not have been much of a life, but I would still be next to you, in some context. Whether it be we were together in heaven or I was buried next to you, I would still be beside you, even in death. It would have been better than trudging through the rest of my life. I would go back to the old Draco. The one who disposed of girls like taking off a plaster. Like an empty shell again. No meaning in life. Even the sex had gotten boring. Or turn into a more monstrous version. It was hard to tell. I was like that before because I couldn’t have you then. I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if I knew I couldn’t have you ever” he whispered to me. My eyes portrayed a look of horror, of unimaginable terror.
“Never” I whispered. “You could never… ever do that Draco. Even if I passed on, you couldn’t do that to yourself! Promise me!” I pleaded. Draco had a pained look in his eyes

“I would promise you the world if I could, Maia. Certainly everything within my reach, and I would try to get hold of everything beyond if you wanted to. If it would make you happy. But I couldn’t promise that I’d stay away from you Maia. You’re like a drug to me. I’m too in love with you. Call me selfish, I know I am; and I know I’m going back on my word, but I wouldn’t let go of you. Perhaps… perhaps if it was the right decision. If I didn’t make you happy… maybe I could think of you more than my personal needs. Perhaps I could let you go. I might just have to go to my after life soon after you leave me, but that’s a different story altogether. I can’t be without you. Perhaps if you moved on from me, maybe then I could endure it. But never if I knew you were gone forever” he whispered. My eyes filled up with tears, and Draco looked even more pained “Please… please don’t cry” he whispered, wiping away my tears “I hate to see you upset” Draco told me. I gave him a firm look and pulled his hand away from my face to talk to him properly
“Draco life without you wouldn’t be life. It would be existing. What’s the point in just… existing? Like an empty shell? But you can never do that to yourself Draco! Never!” I cried, more tears splashing down my face. Draco sighed and wiped away my tears.
“Think about this objectively… if the tables were turned… would you live?” he asked me. I hesitated
“Why are you so sure that I wouldn’t?” I challenged. Draco smiled
“Because I know you more than anyone else. It’s like I’ve memorised everything about you. Like I’ve known you my whole life. I know you better than you do” he told me. I looked at him for a while, knowing that what he said was true
“Well I don’t know. Perhaps I might live. My view might change when the time comes… and it would depend anyway. On the reason you… went away. It might not even be like that. We might pass away together” I mumbled, not answering his question properly. Draco smiled again
“No matter what happened. Aside from if we don’t go together, I would die to be with you. I don’t care what you might have done to me. Even if you bitterly resented me, life wouldn’t be life without you” Draco said surely. It scared me how he could be so positive and laid back about his own death. Draco smiled again “But forget about that ok? You should go back to sleep, you’re tired. Just try to keep the noise down. Other people in this house need to sleep” he teased, and I blushed furiously as I ducked my head into his chest, and felt his body shake with laughter.

I pulled my memory back from that last night to hear a last knock against my door. I called ‘come in’, and saw Draco come in through my door thanks to my mirror. I smiled at him as I picked up my jacket and turned around to face him. He eyed me lustfully, before coming towards me, and placing his hands around my waist, pulling me into him tightly so that my breasts pushed up against him. That seemed to drive him crazy
“You look very sexy” he murmured, his mouth smashing against mine and kissing me passionately. I smirked as he pursued that action, pushing me down on the bed. He crawled on top of me, and attacked my neck with his mouth, causing a sudden splurge of pleasure. He was rougher now, as he moved back to my mouth; and my heart hammered loudly. Draco’s fingers inched towards the top of my dress towards the zip, and rested there before he groaned and pulled away. My lips pushed up in a slight pout as he pulled me up, pulling me against him. “It doesn’t really help that you’re lusting for this, even though you’re not ready” he told me. I looked at him cheekily
“I want to say I’m sorry… but I can’t lie to you” I told him. He smiled
“You seem to think I have some sort of unbendable self discipline” he whispered, and I smiled
“I wish you did…” I told him truthfully. That way we could go further and stop at the right moment, trusting his judgement. He smiled and pulled me towards the door, waiting for me to pull my long dress coat on. It was a cover in case my parents saw. I couldn’t do much about the sexy hair and makeup, but I was hoping to slip past all of them quickly. It was as if my parents and Draco’s parents had become a permanent fixture to the manor. I didn’t understand why the twins couldn’t just go back to their usual lives instead of sticking around here, though I figured that I had left all six in a confused state.

Draco and I ghosted downstairs, and when we got there, we saw the twins sitting on the sofa in the living room while the parents sat in the kitchen. That was a relief, because although the stairs lead straight to the living room, the parents weren’t here to observe my wild look that I had pulled together after Draco and I had decided to go out after months of imprisoning ourselves in his mansion. The twins looked up, bewildered as they saw me dolled up like this, and Draco’s clothes didn’t exactly say ‘casual’ vibe, although they were less obvious than mine. He wore a t-shirt, so that wasn’t out of the ordinary. The biggest clue about his top would be that it was a dark colour – the sort you wear when you go to a house party or to a date. He was wearing jeans so it seemed more relaxed, and sneakers. His hair was also ruffled, so that girls must have realised that we weren’t going to a formal of some sort. I could only imagine what kind of conclusions they would draw up if they saw what I was wearing. I considered it a little outlandish – something a little more daring that I wouldn’t usually wear out unless I was going somewhere like a nightclub, which was exactly where we were going. I was wearing a sort of dulled pastel pink dress, and the top was corset-like, almost as if it were a matching corset top and short, tight skirt. The dress came down to halfway down my thighs, and was strapless. It also had a black zip running down the front, sort of like a piece of material I could wrap around me and zip up. The zip was more of a fashion statement than a way to get the dress on; and matched with a pair of high heeled boots and a clutch, the outfit looked fit for a club. Draco wrapped his hands around my shoulder, and placed a finger on his lips as he looked at the twins as if to say ‘don’t tell the parents’. They nodded slowly, understanding his request, and he turned to face me, smiling
“Ready?” he asked me, and I nodded. He grinned, before opening the door for me, looking behind his back once to check his parents hadn’t seen us, before stealing away into the night with me.

Draco and I rode in his convertible sports car, and arrived at Liquid – the night club – in style. We were accepted immediately, seeing as my family had high status and I usually came here so they knew me. I flashed him a smile, and Draco glared at Tom – the bouncer – as Tom checked me out. I laughed it off and pulled Draco inside, before unbuttoning my dress coat and handing my purse and coat to the person in the clothes booth. He took them and handed me a red ticket, and put Draco’s stuff in the same cabinet as my stuff. I handed the ticket to Draco so that he could put it in his jeans pockets, and he led me to the dance floor whilst holding my back. Draco and I danced for a while, and I hissed as a few girls as they showed a little too much interest in Draco. They glared at me, before going off in a huff. Draco smirked, enjoying me being jealous and getting wound up.
“It’s not that I enjoy seeing you upset” he whispered in my ear, as I danced icily with him. I waited for him to explain “It’s just that you really are quite adorable when you get jealous” Draco explained, and held my chin, before kissing me passionately. Other than an act of love, it was also something to warn off the other girls, to show that Draco was taken. It seemed to work for the majority of girls, but the guys that wanted me still didn’t back down. If that wasn’t enough, they seemed even more determined when Draco marked his territory. I never understood the whole territorial thing with boys, like they were trying to mark their land. Draco might as well have circled me peeing. Draco glared at a guy that tried coming towards me, and then at another who asked me to dance. I politely declined, and Draco’s expression softened

“You know I wouldn’t mind if you danced with him right? I don’t want to be an overprotective boyfriend of some sort…” he told me, and I smiled back
“No I know. But there’s no point in dancing if not with you” I told him, and he smiled lightly.
“I’m a little tired anyway. Go and dance with him, I’ll go get us a drink” he told me, and pressed his lips lightly to mine before slipping through the crowds. I smiled. He did so much just to please me. A different guy came towards me, and smiled. He seemed less of a jerk than the rest
“Hey. Mike” he told me. I smiled
“Maia” I told him. Mike grinned
“Nice to meet you. Would it be too much if I asked for you to dance with me?” he asked me, and I grinned. He was much sweeter than the rest too, it seemed.
“Sure” I told him, and Mike grinned at me as he wrapped his hands around my waist. It was a little too close, considering I had a boyfriend, but the whole reason Draco and I had come here was to enjoy ourselves and get away from it all. A ‘grinding’ worthy song came on, and though Mike tried to lead us down that path, I danced with him normally, if not a little more sexy. I suppose it was more ‘slutty’ than I should have been, but I was supposed to be enjoying myself, I reminded myself mentally. Mike and I danced for two songs before another guy came towards me. Draco appeared literally out of nowhere then, in between the new guy and me, and smiled at me before turning towards Mike
“Care if I take my very sexy girlfriend back?” he asked, winking at me. I smiled, and Mike looked a little peeved
“You’re her boyfriend huh?” he asked, seeming disappointed. I gave him an apologetic look
“I’m sorry” I told him. He looked up
“Really?” he asked. I narrowed my eyes, figuring out that he was thinking I was sorry because I had a boyfriend that was not him, other than the fact that I was sorry that I couldn’t dance with him because I had a boyfriend whom I loved.
“…No” I told him in the end, and he gave me a sour look before walking away. Draco glared at Mike, his hands balled into fists, and I hugged him from behind, calming him immediately. “You know we’ve been here for quite a while and we haven’t even had any dirty dancing” I whispered, and he smirked, turning round to face me. We grinded for the next few hours, getting insanely drunk, before staggering home.

The police stopped us a few times on the road, different officers each time, noticing Draco was drunk way over the limit, but after seeing Draco and realising who he was, and then seeing me as well, they let it go immediately, apologising for interrupting us and wished us a good journey. When we finally got inside the house, Draco and I were laughing loudly
“Ssh!” I told him, giggling as he fell against a wall “We might wake them!” I said in a loud whisper, tiptoeing over exaggeratedly towards the stairs. Draco’s laugh boomed around the room, and had me in hysteria too.
“We might” he agreed, wobbling as he tried to stay awake.
“Come on!” I told him, my eyes wide with excitement as I walked towards the stairs. I tripped up on the third step, and fell into Draco, and we both broke into fits of giggles. “Ssh, Ssh!” I reminded him, and he helped me up the rest of the stairs. We arrived at my room, and I bumped into the door, before falling down onto my butt and making an ‘ow’ noise. Draco roared with laughter, and I started laughing too “Door there” I told him, as he helped me up. He shook with laughter as he opened the door for me, and we collapsed onto the bed, cuddling into each other.