Just Crash...

“Class, please welcome our new student Alexander Gaskarth.”
The 16 year old felt at least 30 sets of eyes bore into his skull, however these assumptions weren’t confirmed as his own chocolate brown eyes stayed fixed on a single tile on the floor that seems to be just a little shinier than all the rest.
“Alex, would you like to introduce yourself?” asked the grey haired teacher.
Instead of blubbering on about life in the UK, the moving, and of course, the weather - just like any other new student would, Alex glanced upwards and stared straight into the teachers eyes. He remained silent, determined not to speak at all.
It’s not that he’s scared of what the others might think of him; Alex just doesn’t want to talk. He would rather keep his mouth shut, and the people around him safe than say something destructive just like the last time…
You see, for only 16 years old, Alexander William Gaskarth has had a rather eventful life. Point blank, from a very young age he was never fully taken care of. His parents never cared, or at least as soon as he was able to walk they didn’t. Daniel Gaskarth, the older brother, was the one to actually care for young Alex. Even though Daniel himself was only 10 at the time, he cooked, bathed, and looked after 2-year-old Alex.
After 14 years of looking up to his older brother, he failed to notice the fact that Dan was on a quick path to self-destruct. All it took was one wrong sentence, and he was pushed over the edge. Gone for good.
Ever since that, Alex has never been the same. He never spoke, hardly ate unless he felt faint, and spent all day cooped up in the comfort of his room. It’s not like his parents minded, after all. They were glad that he chose to stay out of their way.

After at least a few minutes of Alex gawking at the man, he finally spoke up once more.
“Ah well. Okay, just take a seat at the back then.”
With a sift nod, Alex made his way to the back of the squeaky-clean classroom and sat down in the only empty chair.

~~~~~~~~

“who is he?”
“I think his name is Alex Gaskarth, new kid.”
“yeah I gathered that much, Rian. Thanks. But seriously, why does he just look so… I don’t know, lost?”
”Maybe because he’s, oh I don’t know... lost?! It’s a new school man, and the map they give you is absolute shit.”
Jack Barakat sent daggers to his good friend Rian Dawson whilst walking towards their next class, which they didn’t intend to make it there on time anyway.
“I didn’t mean it like that you idiot, I meant… like person wise. He’s lost. Something or someone has broken him. Or something. I don’t know! It’s just he seems so out of it all the time.” Jack’s face softened into a sympathetic frown. He hated it when anyone around him was down, that’s why he was classed as the happy-go-lucky guy, always cheery and always smiling. Besides, in his opinion, what’s a life worth living if there’s nothing to smile about? It’s nothing, that’s what he thought. There’s always something to smile about. Whether it be the sun shining, a compliment you got, or just seeing someone you care about happy. There’s always a reason.
“I guess. I mean, you notice these things more than any of us here do. So you should go talk to him. Cheer him up a bit, you can cheer anyone up!” Rian exclaimed to Jack, showing off his creepily-bright toothy smile whilst clasping his hands together. The lanky 16-year-old shrugged in response and carried on walking towards their last lesson of the day, English.

~~~~~~~~

Alex slowly made his way towards the end of the corridor. He didn’t know where he was going, all he knew was he was not going to English. Another class, another new teacher, more staring, more awkward introductions, and again, more staring. No. Just no. He couldn’t cope with yet another lesson. Alex’s mind ran a mile a minute. What would life be like if Daniel hadn’t of jumped? Would they still be as close? Would they still be in England? Would Alex have these dumb blonde highlights that he can’t seem to stray from? Or would it be something like today, a living hell? Some say, that even though life has a funny way of working out, that everything that has happened, everything that will happen, is all planned out. It was supposed to work out this way. Alex was supposed to be alone. He just couldn’t figure out why. Why would Daniel do this? He knew he was the only one that Alex could count on; he knew he was the only reason for that big smile on the younger boys face every day. Why did he do it? Why? Did he get sick of Alex’s constant nagging for them to hang out? What happened?
Before the mop haired boy realized where he was going, he found himself at the entrance to the auditorium. He pushed the heavy brown doors open and glanced around. It was average size, normal for a school, and probably only used for plays. Rows and rows of blue seats that looked seemingly worn out ran on for an age. He counted how many rows; there were at least 10. He lost count when he got to the front because of what was sat right in the centre of the stage. A brand new grand piano. Alex walked up the stairs and across the stage towards the magnificent instrument. A thin layer of dust lay gently on top of the hood, with a quick poof of air from his lungs, the dust dispersed into the air once again. He lifted the hood carefully and propped it up, setting his heavy backpack next to the stool. Alex stared at the piano, would he get in trouble for playing? It’s been so long since his graceful fingertips felt the coldness of the ivory keys…
Taking a risk, he drew in one deep breath, and opened his mouth.

“Just crash, fall down.
I’ll wrap my arms around you now.
Just crash, it’s our time now.
To make this work a second time round.”

Alex felt the melody flow through his fingertips with ease; letting the words come out was a different story though. He started singing quietly, just enough so that he could hear himself. He took another deep breath and tried to sing louder.

“We grew up,
We worked and changed our ways.
Just like wildfire,
Been burning now for days.
Tearing down those walls,
Nothings in our way.
I said nothings in our way.”

He closed his eyes, feeling the emotion bursting through, singing his heart out to the song his brother wrote and sung to him when he was only 14. Before all this happened.

“And I know,
I’ve said this all before,
But opposites attract.
We try and run away,
But end up running back.

And all I want to do,
All I want to do,
Is lie down and…” the smooth sound of the younger boys voice cracked slightly. He couldn’t carry on without breaking down right there. This song meant so much to Daniel, and it’s one of the only pieces of him he has left. The rest got lost whilst moving, unfortunately.
With another deep breath, he belted out the final chorus, completely unaware of his surroundings.

“Crash, fall down.
I’ll wrap my arms around you now.
Just crash, it’s our time now,
To make it work, second time around.

Ohh, crash, fall down.
Just crash, fall down.
Just crash, fall down.
Just crash, fall down…”

Alex chocked back a sob, this is it. He can’t carry on living on this world after everything he ever believed in left. His hands flew to his face and covered the mass tears cascading everywhere. All it would take is one leap, and it would all be over… he wondered, was this what it was like for Daniel just before he jumped? How could he hide his pain away so easily and carry on throughout every day with a smile on his face? Poor Alex could only just muster through the days without breaking down; a true smile was pushing it a bit.
He made his decision.

~~~~~~~~~

“Yes jack?” sighed Miss Coxon, already fed up of teaching an unresponsive class of 30 sixteen year olds.
“Can I go to the bathroom?” he pleaded. It’s not that he actually needed to pee anyway, he just wanted out of this damn room. A whole hour of English was hell. Especially with Miss Coxon!
“fine. Be quick.” She waved him off with a flick of her hand and carried on reading through the essays that they handed in for homework.
Quick my ass, thought Jack. He was going to roam the halls in hope of bumping into someone to have a chat, or just go sit and stare outside. Whichever.

He walked calmly through the big corridors, they seemed so much wider when there wasn’t almost 1000 pupils all trying to push through them.
After five minutes of aimlessly walking around to nowhere in particular. Jack heard a sound. Not just any sound, it was like a simple hum of a voice. Not just any voice either, it sounded so perfect it could even be classed as an angel’s voice! The smooth melody flowed throughout the corridor, even though it was faint, Jack could pick up a few words here and there. “Just crash… fall down..”
Jack followed the sound and ended up outside the old auditorium. Pressing his head close to the door, he listened.
“and I know, I’ve said this all before, but opposites attract..”
the beautiful voice was coming from inside. Without a second thought, he pushed the door open and slided in unnoticed. Quickly sitting on a chair near the back, he glanced upwards and finally got a good look at the angel. However, much to jack’s dismay, it was no angel. It was a boy, not just any boy either; it was the same boy that has been occupying jack’s teenage mind all day, ever since he first spotted him in the corridor this morning. Alex Gaskarth. His breathing hitched and he found himself absolutely mesmerized in Alex’s pure voice. It was beautiful. Nothing could even come close to the sound, absolutely nothing.

Alex neared the end of his song, his voice cracked multiple times but Jack was too engrossed in the melody to notice.
“just crash, fall down…”
the younger of the two took a deep breath and finally sobbed his heart out into his hands. Down in the empty rows of chairs, jack broke out of his ‘trance’ and noticed the melody had stopped completely, instead poor Alex was crying. He acted on impulse and ran straight up the stairs, towards the piano, and sat down next to Alex. Pushing his skunk hair out of the way of his eye sight, he spoke.
“Alex, what’s wrong?”
Alarmed, the younger boy jumped and gasped for breath. When the hell did he get here? Thought Alex. Surely he would have noticed someone just walk in…
“Alex, please, I want to help you. I don’t know what’s happened, I don’t know you, but I want to help you smile again.” Jack looked so sincere and truthful, that it was hard to disagree with the boy.
Alex looked straight into the older boys eyes, and for once, he didn’t put up that wall. He let all his emotions show, all the pain, suffering and loneliness that he’s gone through in the past year. Jack broke the wall down, without even doing a thing. The older boy swiftly wrapped his arms around the sobbing mess in front of him; he instantly buried his head into the crook of jack’s neck and continued to cry.

After a while, Alex’s sobs decreased and he was now producing small whimpers whilst sniffling almost ever 5 seconds.
“Alex… you feeling any better?” Jack broke the silence first. He still had his arms wrapped around the younger boys torso in a tight grip. As much as he hated to admit it, they fit together perfectly, like two halves of a puzzle. He had no idea how, but it just seemed so right to have Alex in his arms.

The venerable boy nodded slowly and lifted his head out of jack’s neck, leaving a wet patch of tears on his black sleeve.
“Oh shit.. I’m sorry about that.” Alex confessed, trying to come to terms completely with what had just happened. After two years of building up that wall to sustain his emotions, Jack Barakat was the one to finally break it down – and without even trying. Why on earth did he let him in so quickly? What’s so special about the raven-haired boy that let young Alex cry out all his tears?
“’Lex, don’t worry about it. By the way, that song you sang an earlier was incredible. Did you write it?” he smiled reassuringly showing he really wasn’t bothered about Alex crying so much on his favourite shirt – he was worth it.
“thank you. But I didn’t write it, my brother did. He was the best musician I’ve ever heard. He used to play me every day whilst I was growing up.” Alex smiled sadly back at the older boy whilst shaking his head. The two teenagers fell into a comfortable silence whilst jack figured out what to say next, alex cast his eyes on his lap and played with his fingers – he remembered the first time Daniel sang Crash to him on his 14th birthday. The thought made him smile sadly.

“He would be so proud of you, you know.” Jack finally spoke, eyes full of sympathy and admoration for the young vunerable 16 year old infront of him. Alex’s jaw dropped open slightly forming an ‘o’ shape. He didn’t even confess to Daniel passing away, yet jack had figured it out – once again. He nodded in agreement for the first time, and flashed a small smile. With eyes full of tears threatening to spill, he looked straight in Jack’s eyes.
“Thank you. So much.”
And with that, Alex concluded that yes, Jack Bassam Barakat is definitely something special.