My Hayley

Oh. My. God.

What did I just do? Did I really just admit to her that I like her? Did I really just admit it to myself?

I need to talk to her. She’s down the hall in her math class, but I’m desperate. I ask to use the bathroom, and instead I stand outside her classroom door, waiting for her eyes to lock with mine. When she sees me, I motion for her to leave. She looks confused, and it takes her a few minutes to understand what my frantic hand movements mean.

“What’s wrong? Where are we going?” I lead her into a corner where no one ever goes. The classroom is empty, so I pull her in and close the door. She looks scared out of her wits. “W-what are you doing?”

“I just need to talk to you. What I said before, I… I’m sorry, don’t take it the wrong way, I just-”

“Did you mean it? Or are you taking it back?” Her voice shakes, and I wonder what I’m doing wrong.

“No, um… Yes, maybe…. It depends on how you feel….”

There’s a long pause. The tension grows exponentially with each second that passes without her answer. I study her face, and see her mouth trying to move but something keeps stopping her. And then, a moment of resolution comes to her, and I can see the worry leaving her.

“I like you Hayley, a lot, maybe more than I should.”

My lips curve into a grin and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. She’s smiling too, her rare innocent smile that I’ve only seen once before. The day we first met, when I smiled hello and she smiled back.

I look around and make sure nobody can see us. My hand slips into hers, and the way we fit together takes my breath away. She’s blushing uncontrollably, and I love that I’m the cause. My confidence soars.

“Do you want to maybe do something after school? You could come over and help me make cookies. My mom kind of promised I’d make some for her dorky book-club thing, and…. Oh, sorry, I’m rambling!”

She giggles at me and nods. “I would love to help you with your… cookie issue.”

My heart is beating faster than I ever thought it could. I slip my arms around her and hold her, just for a few seconds, just to feel her own heart beating so I know she’s real. I feel her melt into the embrace and it makes me so happy I could cry.

After whispered goodbyes, we walk back to class and for the remaining 37 minutes, I go into my mind and daydream about what could happen later, in my house, with nobody home except for me and her. It’s enough to fill me up with unwavering happiness.