Dancing in the rain.

There I was waiting outside his school with the two people who hated me and blamed me for everything that went wrong. His mom swiped her long, dark hair from her face as she walked over to me. She looked as if she wanted to say something but instead turned to face the various high school students pouring out of the full windowed, double doors of a school so vast it could have been mistaken for a castle though it looked nothing like one. You could see the empty candy wrappers, coke cans, and chip bags lying around the grass with walls covered in gang markings.

There he was, a boy I haven’t seen or spoken to in almost a full year. So much time has passed and so many changes have occurred but he still looked the same. His long, dark, and wavy hair (although today it was straightened) whipped around his round, cute face. Soft caramel colored skin and the same skinny but muscular body. His chest and arms have developed more since the last time I saw him but not enough to categorize as built.

His eyes looked up and his face stood in shock. Not only was I there with a car one could only dream of no less, but hovering next to me was his short and stubby mom and grandma both accompanied by their husbands. He didn’t know what was going on but with all of us gathered there he knew it had to be something serious. “Julian,” called his two years younger uncle Hector from behind his mom. Julian quickened his pace and marched over to us with a pained look of confusion striking across his face. He glanced at his mom with a questioning but careful glare just as Julian’s older brother Leandro appeared and spat the question everyone was thinking. “What’s going on?”

I sat alone in my car closely following Julian and his family to pick up his younger brother Andres from a different school. As I took in all the street signs and crossways to a place I would be driving to and from twice a day, five days a week for the next six months or longer, I wondered how his mom and grandma are explaining this to them. If they told them too much, it could put him and his brothers and his uncles life’s in more danger than the already were.

They all said their difficult goodbyes as tears were streaming down their faces. I understood how hard this must be, not understanding why or how this was all happening but that this moment, here, could be the last time you ever saw your family again. I reached out and gently touch his moms shoulder signaling its time to depart. Just as I thought this moment couldn’t get any more awkward, his mom wrapped her short but strong, warming arms around me. I couldn’t believe it, her, who always despised me crying on my shoulder mumbling apologies and thank you’s.

When she finally released and wiped the watery tears from her soaked eyes she gave one last lingering hug to each of the boys and retreated back into the car. We all stood in horror that this was really happening as they drove away.

The car ride felt longer then expected, probably because of the awkwardness of the situation. We all sat in silence not looking at one another. We pulled up to a gated front yard with a white mansion and guest house securely guarded behind it. “Whoa, you live here?’ Hector, Julian’s uncle, ironically younger then him, broke the silence leaning forward to gain a better view.

Everyone looked around taking a mental picture of everything. The inside was elegant and homey. When you enter into the front door straight ahead you’ll notice large bulletproof windows connected to a windowed sliding door leading out into an extensive backyard supplied with a large swimming pool and hot tub completed with diving board and a slide and many pool games and sports. A long trampoline stood just behind it. Just before the pool are outside cooking grills. The rest of the yard is filled with open space of perfectly green cut grass. Just to the right of the front door is a light dinning room with a strong fiber glass table. Then to the left of the dining room is the kitchen filled with expensive china and cooking gadgets.

I hooked my keys on a hidden but easily accessible hook and walked the boys through the living room to the left. It was completely furnished with a long comfortable couch that shaped into an L facing the 32 inch flat screen plasma, blue ray TV hooked up to multiple gaming appliances. Further ahead is a double wide stair case centered in the middle leading up to five medium sized rooms. To the furthest left was my roommate and best friend Wades room.

I knocked three times and Wade came out with a smile from ear to ear and graciously welcomed the boys. He introduced each boy to their new temporary home where they’ll sleep each night. Next to Wades room was Leandro’s room and the middle room belonged to Andres. Then Hector’s room came and finally Julian’s.

We all stood in Julian’s room looking around when Leandro started complaining why Julian gets the room with the balcony over looking the entire backyard. Wade looked annoyed and told him to shut up and be grateful he had his own room.

I finally spoke up and explained to the boys I have only one major rule. “No sneaking out at all. I am fine with you going places but absolutely no sneaking around.” I demanded with my finger pointed directly at Leandro who was most likely to be the first to try. Little did they know what would actually happen if they did try sneaking out.

I felt a cold chill run through my body as Andres pushed into the crowed door way forcing Julian to bump into me knocking me off balance. Suddenly my body warmed incredibly at the feel of Julian’s warm, strong, man hands catching me before toppling over. I knew this would happen, reminding me how difficult this was going to be for everyone.

As Wade continued on the detour of the house with the boys I stayed behind with only one thought crippling my mind. This was going to be my hardest mission yet.

I wake up 4:30 in the morning and throw on my black, fitted sports bra and light, supportive cheerleading tennis shoes. I jog my way out my ample, spacey room to the narrow stairs descending towards the front door exceeding the kitchen, ending just before the entree way to the dining room. I grab my single specially made key to unlock the room just under my bedroom and stairs.

As I step inside, I look around debating my work out routine for today. I take a deep awakening breath and head for the ten minute run on the treadmill resting in the back left corner of the room.

Just as I finished my run and was about to begin stretching, a loud startling knock stole my attention. I cracked the door to find Wade holding Andres’s hand. “He wet the bed,” Wade announced motioning to Andres’s dampened pants. I let out a small giggle as I grab the key and follow Andres to his bedroom. Together we picked out a fresh, clean outfit from one of his multiple suitcases lying around the unorganized room. I ran some warm bath water and told Andres to take a long bath and I will clean his bed. I tossed his dirty clothes into the hamper and stripped his bed of all the blankets and sheets. After remaking his bed and starting a wash I continued back to my isolated work out room.

Forty-five minutes later, just as I was finishing my everyday morning workout I traced my steps back up stairs to shower and prepare for the first day of my hardest challenge. Just five steps away, when I noticed a shadow trailing around out from under the door to my room. I reached for the knife secretly sitting on the inside of my sports bra and positioned it comfortably in my hand.

Before taking another step I glanced around memorizing everything and its place. Nothing had been moved or touched. But of course any professional wouldn’t be dumb enough to leave any traces. I took in a deep breath and staged another step forward. When I was close enough to barley touch the door, I leaned forward slowly pressing my ear against the off white paint masking the door. I looked down and made sure my feet weren’t to close enough to be seen by the perpetrator as I had seen theirs. I couldn’t hear anything, not even the hushed hum of a steady breath.

My hand grasped the handle as I planted my feet and readied my body for what could be an attack. I swung the door open and charged into my room.

“Whoa relax,” my Jason pleaded blocking the wave of the knife. “How did you get in here?” I asked my mentor. “Wade let me in,” he replied sitting back down in my computer chair testing my security system. “Nice security,” he mentioned turning back to me. “What are you doing here?” I questioned curiously. “I’m checking how the transition is going and to bring you all the information we currently have on the situation.”

Together my mentor and I went over every single detail of the case. Three hours passed before finishing the whole box of files filled of similar past events. “Well I need to get going. I’ll leave this here,” my mentor said tapping the top of the box. “I’ll need you to memorize it all. I’ll be back in a week to pick it up,” he announced as he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

I tucked the box of highly coveted information in the safe hidden behind my closet, containing a major collection of the world’s deadliest weapons. The safe secretly sitting behind my closet is harder to get into than any of the most important safes a bank filled with the countries money has. Only my hands alone can open it. Not only do the handles read finger prints that can detect if even the smallest scare is out of place, but if my hands are not placed in an exact position the alarm will sound assuming a security breach.

After the box was secure and I showered and got dressed. I traveled down stairs and made a delicious breakfast of pancakes, strawberries, and whipped cream. Wade, Andres, Hector and I sat around the rectangled glass table stuffing our faces while Andres caught me up on all the fun and problems in their family that I missed in our time apart.

As I listened, my mind drifted back to when Andres and Julian lived across the street from my parent’s house. We used to hang out outside in the yard of my neighbors house but after a while my neighbors’ didn’t like us begin there anymore so we stopped going outside. It wouldn’t be until almost two years later that Andres came into my house and got reacquainted. We spent the whole afternoon from the several minutes I got home from school to the minute he had to return home, playing games and watching movies, listening to music and talking about whatever came to mind.

“Can we go swimming?” Andres asked pulling me back to the present. “After Julian wakes up, ok,” I assured Andres. Andres then rushed up into Julian’s room begging for him to get up. Julian came down picking the sleep out of his deep brown eyes. “I made some breakfast before taking Andres out swimming,” I motioned over to the table. “Andres, why don’t you go wake up Leandro and tell him we have breakfast,” I told Andres giving him something to do so he doesn’t rush Julian knowing how impatient Andres can get.

Everyone was enjoying themselves in the pool, even Wade. I although, was sitting alone at my overly cramped, messy desk with half written poems and unsorted thoughts resting all around my desk. Knock, knock, knock, I sat up straight as I shouted “come in.”

Wade appeared and informed me that Andres and Leandro were requesting me down to come swimming too. “Oh, I don’t know Wade; I have a lot of stuff to do.” “Ah, come on Ash you’re always working lately. Cant you drop it for a little while and come have some fun with your old friends?’ Wade cried. “Wade, you know a major reason I don’t want to be out there,” I complained back. “Yea, but Ashley you are going to have to stop running and face it all. Don’t just write about courage and inspiration, but live by you writings too.” Wade argued. I sat and stared at him contemplating what the worst outcome could actually be. Wade was right; I need to face my fears and emotions rather then just writing about them. “Ok, let me get dressed,” I finally agreed.

I sighed and opened my closet doors repeating “face my fears” over and over again in my head. I walked over to my swimsuits and picked out the hot pink bikini decorated with little black stripes. I strode my way down the stairs and turned the corner, I stopped and watched Julian as he fatherly held Andres above the water while he tried to swim. I smiled at how grown up and mature Julian always acted, even when he was younger. I always thought he would make a great father and judging by everything I knew and seen from him, it was as true now as it was then. I couldn’t help but to remember how sensitive and gentle he was towards others but still contained that manly sense about him.

I shook my head violently shaking those thoughts and memories from my head. I took a deep relaxing breath and proceeded out towards the pool. “There you are,” Wade smiled. “Took you long enough.” I sat down at the solid concrete table with the soft, semi fluffy, dark blue towel draped fittingly around my body covering the top of my full 34C cup breast and the way down to just under my but.

Just then Wade plunged out, ran towards me and gathered me up in his strong but flabby arms. He threw off my towel and walked back to the pool. “No, no Wade, stop! Don’t!” I protested but it was too late and I couldn’t object any more as he tossed me in cold, baby blue water. I floated back to the top and splashed a wave of the clean, simmering water in Wades face angrily. I hopped back out the water to get my hair tie off the burning ground. I threw my head down as my long dark wavy hair followed swaying threw the calming wind. My fingers slid threw my dripping wet hair as I gathered it all up and tied it loosely on top of my head. I fixed my body back straight and noticed my reflection from the windows. I stood at average height as small water droplets dripped down my fit curved body.

I threw the bottle of sun screen at Wade torturing him into spreading it evenly around my back and shoulders. I finished the rest of my body ending at the back of my thighs meeting the edge of my butt. I took one last look at my reflection satisfied with the hard work I put into maintaining my fitted body shape. The muscles came with the gymnastics and special CIA fighting classes I am required to attend twice a week. “Hey stop gawking at your self” Wade laughed.

I made my way to the diving board preparing myself to perform a tumbling skill I have done over a thousand times. I positioned myself and jumped into the air throwing my hands backwards. My hands touched the waxed diving board as my feet flew over my head. My legs perfectly straight and glued together snapped down as my hands swung up and I jumped up into another flip. While my body flew up high into the air, my hands grabbed my tightly tucked legs and span around twice. Finally my body stretched out into an upright position, falling into the water. “Show off,” Wade rolled his eyes. “Don’t hate,” I said shrugging of his jealous comment.

I swam and played sports with the boys the rest of the time. I was having the fun we used to have outside and around my house. I felt awkward standing next to him but ignored my feelings and pretended nothing mattered. I guess Wade noticed a glimpse of how uncomfortable I felt and offered to switch pretending he was changing teams for the game. “He kept looking you at,” Wade whispered in my ear. I looked at wades face that held a smile and then pushed him away.

I got out and applied more sunscreen and laid flat over one of the pool side chairs allowing the beaming sun rays to tan my body. The boys were busy playing a game of pool horse basketball that no one noticed Andres removing his floaters. I guess you could say it was intuition. Maternal instincts even, but when Andres jumped into the pool without his floaters and started drowning, I had the feeling you get when something bad is about to happen and inside your stomach feels like a lot of butterflies are fluttering around frantically.

I sat up at the sound of a faint gurgle coming from the deep end of the pool. I saw Andres trying to swim as he was sinking down under the water. I quickly glanced at the boys to see if any of them had noticed but not one did. Realizing what was happening I jumped up and dove in after him. I pulled him up onto my back and swam as fast as I could to the edge of the pool. I pushed him out of the water as he started coughing up all the water he swallowed. Everyone looked around at each other relieved but scared.

Confused, I asked Andres “why did you do that?” “The man told me if I did it I would learn how to swim faster,” he coughed. “What man?” I panicked. “The man by the gate,” he pointed. We all looked but no ne was there. Julian swiped him up and took him inside. After everyone was dried off and calmed down, Andres decided to watch a movie and fill up on buttered popcorn.

Sundays are sort of my days off. No workouts, no responsibilities excluding the boys of course. I slipped into a pink cheerful dress, matching it with white heals. I put on my face and styled my hair with long curls falling down my shoulders and back. I glanced at the time realizing I was going to be late. I grabbed my multicolored starry purse containing my cosmetics, several different alias I.D.’s, cash money, and small but effective weapons disguised as lipsticks, pens and jewelry. I smiled thinking how odd it was caring weapons that looked like normal everyday accessories to church but knowing who I was and what I do, it was necessary.

I entered into the single open door into a small room filed of freshly made coffee and assorted types of donuts. I continue ahead into another larger room. Everyone had walked into the center isle greeting each other. I barley made it on time. I put on a smile and joined in. As everyone sat down the preacher began her sermon starting with a song. I found my long time good friend Christie and took a seat next to her. She smiled and then reached for the sign in sheet.

The sermon was a David and Goliath lesson. My mind raced back to when my mentor found me after being attacked. He saved my life and then took care of me until I was able to at least stand on my own. I learned things you would never thought was even real. Just as soon as that memory was over, another replayed. It was a conference on what to do with me since I knew too much. My mentor bravely fought and convinced them to keep me and train me. Once again he saved my life. I worked and learned for ten hours a day and still today I’m learning a lot of things. Before those days I thought gymnastics was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Now gymnastics alone looks like a calming walk compared to what I do now.

After the sermon everyone stayed stuffing them self’s with donuts and cold coffee and socialized. I didn’t have much use in socializing with them but I stayed for a bit to talk to Christie. Christie was the original reason I came to this church and have been attending ever since. I like it here; the sermons always relate to challenges we face in real life although my life has been consumed with remembering files of people’s personal business and over 10 different languages. My job requires constant training and sacrifice.

I was a broken girl when my mentor found me and I had nothing left in my life worth fighting for so I thought this journey I “died” into was worth everything. This job, you don’t have time to think about love or family or anything that matters to normal people. In this job I can live in a small bubble hidden from the world. If you don’t have anything, you can’t lose it.

Just as I was digging through my purse for my keys ready to leave, I noticed a guy out the corer of my eye. He was staring at me with his eyes barely gliding from beneath this dirty tanned cowboy hat matching his knee long brown trench coat. I stopped and looked up at him. I analyzed every detail of him including the missing bottom button of his jacket and the silver snake ring he wore on his middle finger of his left hand. A silver 4 door Chevy truck passed by between us. I traced my eyes to the license plate remembering the code 413 TYE. The truck came just as quick as it passed. He was gone.