Better Than Revenge

Jake was on autopilot. I don't think he was really there, putting on a mask to hide himself from everybody else.

Bella wasn't a vampire. She was just pregnant with some creepy hybrid child.

And she was practically dead, in so many words.

"I'm glad you're here." She whispered groggily, speaking to the both of us. "I was worried."

"We're fine." I rubbed Jacob's shoulder. "We should be worried about you."

Bella spread her bony fingers over her bulgy stomach. "I'll be okay."

Jacob still wouldn't speak, so I needed to kill the silence. "This all happened very fast."

Bella shrugged. "I can't really explain it. Carlisle says it's never happened before."

I squeezed Jake's shoulder when someone touched mine.

Edward's eyes were very dark, almost black. "How are you doing?"

It took me a moment to realize he was talking to me. "Oh, I'm fine, thanks."

"Oh, that's right. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to see you." Bella grabbed my wrist weakly.

"It's okay." I said automatically. "You were sick...er, pregnant." I laughed awkwardly at the end.

Jacob stared up at me from his position on the floor next to Bella, like he was wondering why I was even trying.

"Jacob,"

He tensed as Edward spoke his name.

"May I speak with you for a moment? Please?"

I shook his shoulder when he didn't move. Reluctantly, he stood and followed Edward into another room.

I sighed and took his place.

"You're not fine." Bella stated.

I hugged my knees to my chest. "I'm...I'm alright."

Bella played with a strand of my hair. "Why do you do that to yourself?"

"What am I supposed to do?" I felt the tightness again. "I have to numb myself, because if I don't I'll -"

The front door opened. The first thing I heard was the heavy rain falling outside, but most of that was masked by a set of giggles.

I didn't want to stare, but I did. Both Seth and Elena were drenched in rainwater. Seth spotted me and forgot to close the door.

Elena didn't hesitate like Seth did, pushing the door and pulling her wet hair away from her face. She felt for his hand and tugged on his fingers, but Seth wouldn't budge.

I tore my eyes away, twisting my shoelaces around my finger. But I kept listening.

"Seth, come on."

"Just hold on a second."

I saw his feet approaching out of the corner of my eye, but I refused to notice him.

He kicked my shoe. "Hey."

I looked to his foot and tugged on the soggy laces, setting them free.

Seth left it be, addressing me again. "Remember me?"

I wanted to throw that hypocrisy right back in his face. "I figured you were busy lately." Busy training this girl like a house pet.

His hand appeared next to my face. I took it emotionlessly, rising to his level and looking into his beautiful eyes, beginning to get lost.

"Hi."

I was very delayed. "Hi."

Over his shoulder, Elena watched me with a weird look on her face. I couldn't find a name to it.

Seth followed my eyes but returned his focus quickly. "How do you feel?"

Does he really want me to answer that? "I'm fine." Your vampire is just giving me some sort of red-eye death glare.

His eyes dug deep into mine, trying to pull something out. I dropped mine right away to prevent it. "Why didn't you tell me you had your memory back?"

I kept my eyes down. "I figured you already knew."

Seth noticed Bella next to us and waved a little. "I'll come over later so we can talk, okay?"

The snide comments just kept rolling. "What are we gonna talk about?"

But he shot them right back at me. "Maybe you should stop 'figuring' things so much."

"Why? I'm not lying about anything."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Hey," Bella touched Seth's hand, but he was still digging. I pretended to dig right back, even though I had no clue what I was digging for.

"I gotta go." He muttered, meeting Elena at the foot of the stairs.

I coughed, almost choking on the peanut butter.

"Are you okay?" Bella whispered.

I tried to take a deep breath. "I just...where's Jacob? I'm sorry, Bella, but I need to...I need to go."

I didn't wait for her to respond, racing for the door and out into the rain.

"Jake!" I called his name, even though he was right there in front of me, his face the color of snow. Edward turned to me as well.

"I'm sorry, but can - we go? Now?"

Jacob immediately grabbed my hand and we hustled to his car.

We both sighed after we closed the doors, but mine came out as a sob trying to escape. I stopped it quickly.

"That was a bad idea." Jake started the car and got us out of there.

I could feel my chest starting to loosen.

"She's dying." He said absently.

I just shook my head. I couldn't believe what was happening.

"Are you okay?" Jake reached for one of my hands.

"I think I'm allergic to peanut butter."

He did a double take. "What?"

I sort of laughed, getting out of the car at my house. We ran up to the door to dodge the rain drops. My mom still wasn't back yet.

In the safety of my own home, I tore off my own mask and didn't try to stop the sobbing, but it didn't come. I waited, but I was dry as a bone.

Jacob almost collapsed, leaning against the door with his shoulder.

"Edward won't let her die." I told him.

"She's dead either way." He growled.

"But she'll still be here."

"Not the way I want her to be."

"Jacob, she's married! It doesn't matter what you want!"

"I'm trying to save her life!"

"Her life isn't yours to save! She doesn't want you anymore, so get over it!"

We were face to face, ready to bite eachother's head off. He huffed in my face, and we began to realize we weren't really frustrated with each other.

Jake watched my eyes blur with tears and softened up. "What did Seth say?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

He wiped a tear from my cheek with the back of his fingers. "Valerie, talk to me."

I groaned through my sobs. "Why isn't she dead? Why didn't he kill her? He's been with her this whole time and he didn't care enough about me to even - does he care? Does he even love me anymore? Elena told him he couldn't have two imprints, he probably picked her. But what can I do about that? It's his choice -"

"Wait, what? What did she say?"

He was making me say it again? "She is his imprint, Jake! She's been his imprint the whole time, I was just something to help get him by. He could have at least told me himself!"

"Val, that's not-"

"It is true!" I yelled, crying harder than before. "Why would he want someone like me when he can have her? She's beautiful, and he's known her his whole life! I can't compete with that!"

Jacob captured my face in his hands. I tried to pull away, but I was forced to stay. I tried to tug on his hands, but I wasn't strong enough.

"Jacob, let it go."

"No." I continued to squirm. "Would you stay still?"

"Why?"

My face was washed over in a wave of warmth. Jacob sealed my lips with his in a powerful kiss, and I was able to forget everything. Like it didn't matter.

I deepened the kiss, and before I knew it he pinned me to the wall. My wrists were locked onto the wall, held prisoner by his strong hands. He only dropped them to unzip my sweatshirt and slide it down my arms. I needed a breath, so I turned my chin with a gasp of hot air.

His lips simply travelled to the side of my neck and down to the base of it. I grabbed a handful of his shirt and clutched it tightly as his lips traced my collarbone.

I heard the tires rolling over rocks and groaned, shot back to reality. "Shit."

Jacob's lips remained where they were. "Potty mouth." He chuckled.

"It's my mom."

He kissed me one more time, and then pressed his forehead to mine. "I'll see you."

I closed my eyes and smiled. "'Kay."

. . . . . . . .

Seth's POV

I didn't want to believe it, but I had to.

Elena wrapped her arms around my neck from behind. "Are you okay?"

"She trusts him." I sighed. "Jake's been there for her. How do I compete with that?"

She came around to sit next to me, our legs touching. "You don't have to."

I looked up into her unnatural eyes.

She laughed. It was the only thing that was exactly the same. "Remember our first kiss? You were afraid of me."

"I was afraid of your braces." I half smiled.

"They're all gone now." She flashed a brace-free smile.

I caught her. "Elena, I don't think I'm...ready."

"But you'll never know, unless you give it a try." She encased my hand in hers. "I missed you, Sethy."

I watched her and almost forgot she wasn't human. I was certain that I was in love with her before I met Valerie.

I felt two different feelings, and I didn't know which one was right.

I wasn't paying attention. Her icy lips were almost touching mine, and I had enough time to stop her, but I didn't.

She kissed me, and I kissed her back. I felt something, but it wasn't what I expected. All I felt was a sick feeling of revenge.