Pathways

As Eldrun opened the door to the Keep, Fenris barely pulled him out of the way in time to let a fuming Meredith pass by without incident. Fenris raised an eyebrow and glanced at him; Eldrun shrugged in return and entered the building.

As they approached the stairs at the center of the building, the king looked over at them from a conversation with the bearded man beside him and grinned. "Hello! I just had the loveliest talk with your Meredith."

The first thing Aren noticed was how utterly weary Alistair looked. While they had traveled together, and when she had visited him, he had always looked cheerful and at least fairly carefree. Now, his face was covered in creases and worry; it looked like he carried far too much burden on him. She stayed behind Anders for the time being, wishing to let the Champion deal with whatever business Alistair called him there for.

"Oh, that must've been the cheerful greeting! At least she didn't want to stomp your face into the ground when she first met you," Eldrun grinned at him.

Alistair laughed. "I take you you're speaking from experience." The senior warden stared at Anders for a moment. "Hey, weren't you...you're a Warden, aren't you? I can sense it."

Anders gave him a half-smile, arms crossing over his chest. "That's the rumor. Weren't you?"

"That's the rumor." He returned the half-smile, and turned back to Eldrun. "I just wanted to check on the city. I'm afraid Ferelden may not have many friends right now and we're still recovering from the Blight. It would be nice to see the Free Marches - Kirkwall included - have her back. You protect this city, you hear me?"

Slightly offended, Eldrun frowned at him. "This is my home. I will do whatever it takes to protect the people here. I do not know why you would think anything else."

Alistair smiled sadly. "I have seen people turn their backs on countries that needed them in the name of "protecting" it and its people." Who he was talking about unsaid; Loghain's betrayal still stung any Ferelden badly. "Anyway, I shall let you go. I'm sure you have things to do, people to meet, other things that will better occupy your time than talking to me."

Eldrun laughed. "It was an honor to meet you, ser," he said as they shook hands.

Aveline knelt to one knee and bowed her head. "I was at Ostagar, ser. I remember the tragedy as if it were yesterday. At least justice has been served."

Alistair waved his hands. "Stop bowing, it's alright! Yes, thankfully Loghain is gone. Dead with honor, but still dead."

As Eldrun, Aveline, and Fenris turned to go, Alistair noticed the blonde mage hadn't yet moved, and didn't until a scowl crossed over his face until he looked behind himself and stepped to his right.

Alistair made an odd noise that made his uncle give him a questioning look. "Aren!" he exclaimed, stepping forth to lift the small mage up into a hug. She squirmed, frowning, until he put her down. She smoothed out her robes before speaking.

"I'm in Kirkwall to look for Anders, whom I've found, and Zevran, Alistair. The Crows took flight and they landed here." She frowned further. "I'm determined to catch them before they reach him."

"I thought you two were in Antiva together ruling over the Crows?" he frowned as Anders did the same. "Ah, is there somewhere more private we can talk?"

"I doubt Aveline would have a problem with us using her office," Anders replied, nodding his head towards the right. "She's guard captain."

They remained quiet as they walked to Aveline's office, but Aren could feel the onslaught of questions about to come her way. And they began when the door shut.

"I need to know why you did that," Alistair asked, not looking Aren in the eye and with anger in his voice. "Why did you let Amaranthine burn to the ground? PEOPLE WERE STILL ALIVE IN THERE! And then you ran away. You ran from the people who needed you and the city that needed you. And you ran to chase ghosts."

Aren's temper flared at the accusations. "You blame me entirely? And you only worry about one city while I had that, the countryside, Vigil's Keep, trying to keep everyone from killing each other, driving out droves of darkspawn, and you blame only me? What about those lives? Where were you? You could have helped me. I'm not the only one who has power in Thedas."

"I was busy!"

"Yeah, busy letting Anora do all of the work. I honestly don't know why I put you on the throne, you haven't been doing much lately with the exceptions of being a trophy husband and winning a popularity contest. She's done all the work."

Alistair snapped and he shoved her against the wall. Anders jerked forward and pulled him backwards, the force enough to make the king stumble. "Don't you dare harm her!" he spat, jaw clenched and holding a small amount of force magic in his hand, ready to send Alistair out a window.

The warrior rubbed his shoulder and glared at the other man. "That hurt, you bastard. Aren, I'm not trying to hurt you, tell him to stand down."

Aren touched the mage's shoulder. "Anders. Thank you, but I can protect myself." Anders kept a defensive stance but quieted his magic. "He would not truly hurt me."

Anders snorted. "Good." He stepped side, but remained tense. The glare, if anything, grew harsher.

Alistair sighed, turning to face Aren again. "I'm not trying to anger you, I just want answers. It doesn't make sense to me. I know we didn't always agree on methods, but so many people died that night...I just can't see you making that decision."

"It was choose a city where nearly everyone was dead or worse, a countryside rampant with darkspawn and taint, or a Keep where everyone was gathering for safety that had become the sole beacon of hope. I made my decision out of practicality, not what I wanted. I wanted to storm that city and eradicate every last sodding darkspawn I saw. But I couldn't. I had a responsibility, and I stuck to it just to see my adviser and close friend die in my arms while I could do nothing about it. I ran because I couldn't take it anymore. Everyone expected something from me, everyone wanted me to solve their problems. I never wanted this. I wanted a life with Zevran, going on adventures that wouldn't end with a blade at my neck, just some time to be happy. But no. I can't even get that because he disappeared and everyone still wants something from me and I don't get to be happy."

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she would not allow it. It stung Alistair more than if she'd cried. "Do I still seem like such a monster? Am I Uldred for making a selfish decision? Is it wrong for me to want a peaceful life? To have something normal after being locked in a tower for being born myself and then sentenced to saving the world and an early death? I never asked for any of this. I never wanted any of this. I never wanted glory. I never wanted fame."

Both of the men in the room were speechless. Alistair finally understood why she'd gravitated towards the Crow so long ago during the Blight; who better than someone else who built a mask? She never talked about the burden she felt, not even to her fellow Warden. Anders understood, he sympathized with her; they had actually arrived at the Tower around the same time and had met then. They'd both managed to escape a handful of times, but Jowan took over most of Aren's attention eventually, and he dropped all contact with anyone after succeeded. She'd never been one to open up, and he wasn't surprised she hadn't changed.

"I...I don't know what to say, Aren, I-I'm sorry...," Alistair mumbled, stumbling over his words. "I had no idea you felt like you had that much pressure on you."