Death Rolls the Dice

-One week later-

Waking up was always the hardest for me. I had to wake up and realize that the dream I had wasn’t real. Every night I dreamt about going on hunts with me sister, just having fun with her. Old memories in precise detail like I was actually there. Or I would make new memories and realize Taylor really wasn’t here. But I had the same nightmare over and over again. I saw my sister die over and over again and I couldn’t get it out of my head.

The therapist at mine and Dean’s work said I would go through this for a long time. Losing someone was hard, but losing your twin was harder. Well according to my fucked up parents she really wasn’t my twin. I wasn’t even related to the Henderson’s. I had no real last name. If I did I didn’t know what it was. All I know is that my ‘parents’ had to take me in and they didn’t want to. 2 weeks after Taylors death they kicked us out of the house and told me that I no longer was there child. So Dean, Sammy, Vail and I moved to this house. And now we weren’t even hunters. Well Sammy was, or whatever he is doing nowadays.

Dean was a supernatural lawyer, Sammy was a mystery, and I was a ‘soccer mom’ and a counselor for the supernatural involved with Deans cases when I need to be, which was often. Yes I know, a counselor seeing a therapist is weird, but Dean made me go once a week to help vent my feelings and worries to Mr. James Walker. I didn’t mind it that much, it was sort of helpful. But nothing would help today’s problems. Today was the two year anniversary of the death of my sister. And today Sammy and I were going to her grave while Dean worked and Vail stayed with friends of ours, Rachel and Jensen.

I sat on my window seat and watched the sun rise across the water. We owned a lake house in Maine and I loved this place. Vail would grow up here and be safe and happy. The area we lived in was protected by the law firm Dean and I worked for. It was a separate section of the area that the law firm owned. So we were safe and happy.

“Zar?” Dean rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up in bed. The sheet and comforter fell around his waist to expose the protection tattoo he got years ago and the tattoo on his upper arm which was a portrait of Vail when we first moved here with her name under it. He really turned around these past two years and became the father I wanted him to be. He cared for her more than anything and she was closer to him sometimes than me. But that was the father daughter bond that was needed in a girl’s life. I never had it so I didn’t want Vail to grow up without it.

“Do you know what today is?” I asked and looked back out the window. I spoke before he had the chance. “It’s the two year anniversary. She’s really not coming back.” I whispered and started to cry. Each day I hoped my sister would come back from the dead like Sammy had. But she hasn’t. And she won’t. All hope was gone and it crushed me. Dean placed his arms around my waist and pulled me up so I could stand against him and hug him with everything I had. He just rubbed my back trying to comfort me. It did work but the pain was still there and always will be.

“Mommy!” Vail cried through the baby monitor.

“I got her.”

“No you get ready for work. I’ll get her.” I kissed him and left to the room across the hall. I
opened her door and smiled. “Hi honey.”

“Hi mommy.” She greeted with her cute little voice and with a smile. She stood up in her crib and held her arms out. She was 2 and a half years old and she was a little ahead of kids her age but that was a good sign. She was thankfully out of diapers and she now just used Sippy cups. But she still sucks her thumb but we are working on breaking that habit. “Why you cry?” She asked and patted my cheek.

“It’ nothing sweetie. Do you have to go potty?”

She nodded and I set her down and she walked to her adjoined bathroom and used her little stool to reach the toilet. I walked around her room picking up toys and raised an eyebrow when I heard her starting to sing.

“Cawey on my waywad sun!” was all I understood out of her random singing spaz attack.
Taylor used to sing all the time when we were kids. But she never sang that.

“Is daddy teaching you that?” I asked her when she walked back out and threw away the wipe from her hands.

She nodded and held her arms up and I gladly picked her up and took her downstairs to the
kitchen. I sat her in her highchair and got her some oatmeal that she just loved and gave her the bowl. She dug right in as I started making eggs and bacon for us adults. Sammy walked in wearing a black button up and black jeans with a black tie. His hair wasn’t all over the place which meant he actually paid attention to making himself look good.

“Mowning uncle Sammy.” Vail grinned and waved her little chubby hand at him. He waved back and smiled before kissing her cheek.

“Morning V. Morning Zar.” He grabbed a cup and pored coffee in it and sat at the breakfast bar.

“Morning. You look nice today.”

“Well I have important things to do today.” He said with little emotion. After she died he lost all emotion practically. It worried Dean that his brother was like that and that he was hardly ever around.

Dean walked in as I put more bacon on the counter and fumbled with his tie. I reached over and fixed it for him and he kissed my cheek and took a piece of bacon. It was still strange seeing him in a suit but it was sexy as hell. I still remember the days when he and Sammy wore jeans and button ups and leather coats. Sammy still did but we hardly saw him anymore. He called once a week saying that he was alive and checking in with us and he came and stayed maybe once a month.

“Daddy!” Vail squealed and smiled so big it hurt my cheeks seeing it.

“Morning baby doll.’’ He kissed her cheek and stayed away from her oatmeal hands. She was the messiest eater. I was when I was a kid so apparently it was genetic.

“Are you teaching her to sing that?” Sammy asked and pointed his fork at Vail as she started singing again.

“Yup.” Dean smiled and dug into his food and coffee as he read the paper.

“I’m gonna go get dressed.” I said as I realized I still wore my nightgown that went to my knees and a robe. My hair was still in an awful looking bun so I got into the shower and when I was done I did my hair and makeup and got dressed. After the grave visit I had a meeting with a patient so I had to dress business like. About an hour later I made my way downstairs and walked into the kitchen with my heels clicking. The dishes were done and Dean looked through a file asking Sammy his opinion on the case. Vail was cleaned, dressed, and watching cartoons on the couch in the other room that was visible by the huge archway. She clapped at the TV and continued to play and watching.

“I got it all covered.” Dean smiled at me as I opened the fridge to start packing Vails diaper bag and closed it again.

“Thanks.”

“And I’ll drop her off with Rachel and Jensen on my way to work.”

“Thanks again. Sammy you ready?” I grabbed my jacket and put it on and grabbed my purse and keys.

“Yeah. See you later Dean.”

“Remember the cook-out is tomorrow at 5.”

Sammy nodded once and went to tell Vail goodbye. I leaned down and kissed Dean. He pulled me close and kissed me a little harder than usual. I pulled back and smiled.

“What’s that about?” I placed my hand on his neck.

He shrugged. “Its cause you look too damn sexy.” He winked and kissed me again before standing up and walking to the living room to give Sammy a brotherly hug. I went over and hugged Vial and kissed her cheek.

“I’ll pick you up later. Okay?” I smiled at her and she nodded.

“Okay. Love you.” She smiled.

“Love you too.”

Sammy and I left and got into my SUV and I drove off. We didn’t say a word as we drove to the cemetery. I refused to move far away from my sister’s grave. We lived about a half hour away and that was far enough. I parked in the driveway of the cemetery and parked the car. I got out and grabbed the Calla Lilly flowers I got for the grave. We walked down the too familiar path, Sammy’s hands were in his pockets and his sleeves were rolled up. I could see the small tattoo on his wrist and sighed. It was the letter ‘T’ with the line at the top looking like an infinity symbol. He wouldn’t tell us what it meant but I had a good idea. Years and years ago he told Taylor he would love her for eternity and that nothing would change that. So he must have gotten that to remind himself every day. I on the other hand for a Calla Lilly on my foot that had the lyrics;

‘Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost’.

The lyrics were incorporated into the tattoo to look like Taylors handwriting. She made this design when we were teens and I decided to get it for her since she wanted it bad enough. When someone that close to you dies and leaves behind something tattoo-able I suggest getting it.

Once we arrived at the grave the tears started to fall slowly. At the corner of my eye I could see a tear go down his cheek. I placed the flowers on the grave and kissed my fingers and touched the cold stone grave. I wanted to say so much but I couldn’t find the words. Sammy didn’t place anything down and he never did. I patted Sammy’s shoulder and made my way back to the car with tears in my eyes. He always stayed an extra few minutes probably saying things to her and I gave him time to. I came to visit once a month, it used to be once a week but the therapist suggested once a month and I don’t know how many times he came but whenever he came with me he always stayed moments longer than I did.

I started my vehicle and wiped the tears and fixed my makeup and Sammy got in the passenger side and I drove off.

“Where to?”

“Amy’s Bakery. I have a business meeting there.”

I just nodded and drove him to where he had to go. He said goodbye and got out. I sighed and drove to work.

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

“So how are you today?” I sat down at my desk across from Jennifer Adams. She recently
figured out that she was a werewolf and has been under strict supervision at a facility. The only time she can leave is to come and have her sessions with me and she had to be driven and escorted up to my office.

“I’m ok.”

“Are the people being nice to you there?”

She nodded and smiled. “Really nice. I have garden duty which is great.”

I smiled back. “That’s great. Now how are you dealing with being a werewolf?”

She shrugged. “I’ve come to accept it. I can’t change it so what am I supposed to do.
Besides I’m not hurting anyone anymore so I’m better.”

“Do you still have the nightmares from before you knew what you are?” I asked making small notes.

She nodded and frowned. “They come more vividly. It scares me a lot. My roommate, Mary, is a werewolf too and she helps.”

“I know about Mary. I taught her how to go through her dreams.”

“Why haven’t you taught me?” She asked.

“Because it’s not your time yet.” I smiled.

My door opened and Dean walked in and shut the door. He was her lawyer so he was allowed to come in and observe if Jennifer let him. Which she did often and upon request.

“Hello Mr. Winchester.” She smiled friendly at him as he sat down and opened his notebook.

“Hello Jennifer. I told you to call me Dean.” He smiled back. He was the best lawyer in the firm and according to everyone I was one of the best counselors. I mostly dealt with the severe cases but Jennifer was an exception because she was only 15 and she had horrible memories to deal with but not as bad as some of the others. Dean also brought her to me when he figured out about her past.

We went through the next two hours discussing things for court, and going through each of her nightmares, and her worries. I walked her out to my secretary’s desk and waved goodbye to her when a guard walked out with her to go back to the safe house. I walked back into my office and shut my door. I started packing up my files and putting them in my bag along with my laptop.

“You ready to leave?” Dean stood and helped me with me coat.

“Don’t you have to continue working?”

“Nope. I get the night off.” He kissed me and grabbed my bag for me. “Sammy has your SUV for the day by the way. He needed to go out of town for the night on some sort of business.”

“Okidokie. Let’s go pick up Vail.”

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

-Next Day-

“Are you serious?!” Rachel laughed at the story Dean was telling about one of his hunts. Rachel and Jensen were also lawyers at the firm but worked for the human section. They knew about the supernatural because they grew up with it. Both of their sets of parents were hunters. Rachel’s mom and dad resided in Greece, and Jensen’s parents resided in Ireland.

“Dead serious.” Dean took a drink of his beer and laughed.

Vail played with the little bull dog puppy Snape, Rachel is a big Harry Potter fan, in the tallest patch of grass. The puppy was so careful around her it was adorable. Dean, Rachel, Jensen, and I sat on the lawn chairs waiting for Sammy so we could start eating. He called about 5 minutes ago saying he was 10 minutes away.

“Uncle Sammy!” Vail ran and wrapped her arms around his legs. He lifted her up and smiled. The only time I saw Sammy smile if it was at Vail. Her smile was just like Taylors which was strange because Taylor and I weren’t biologically related. That was always a question that lingered in our heads, but Taylors smile always made anyone smile.

Ruby stepped from behind Sam and I just about flipped out but Dean gave me a look. I didn’t trust Ruby and I didn’t want her around Vail. But I know Sammy won’t let her get hurt and Dean knew that too. So grinded my teeth together and put on a fake smile and hugged her and Sammy in greeting.

“Hey guys.”

“Hey. It’s a lovely place you two have.” Ruby said to Rachel and Jensen.

“Thank you. It’s been in my family for a long time.” Rachel smiled and started talking to her about the house and such.

“Finally we can eat. Sam you want to help me with the burgers?” Jensen asked and started the grill so it could heat up.

“Sure.” He nodded and put Vail down. She ran back over to the puppy and continued playing.

We set up the food once it was ready, on the big picnic table. I got Vail some small softer things and sat her on the table next to Dean and I. She had to sit on her knees in order to reach and it made me smile.

“So Ruby what do you do for a living?” Jensen asked.

“I’m a hunter. I work with Sammy.”

“Cool.” Jensen smiled and continued eating. The rest of the night we pretty much sat around
and talked and laughed. Rachel, Ruby, and I were cleaning up as the guys took care of the furniture and grill. I was putting the macaroni salad in the fridge when Sammy walked in.

“Hey dean needs you outside.” He inclined his head out there. I couldn’t see the backyard from here so I just guessed they were done. I walked out and gasped. The yard was covered in all these hanging lights that sparkled against the night sky and there were candles in little places. Everyone was out there and smiling. My heart was going so fast it was hard to breath. Vail was in Rachel’s arms staring at the lights. Mine and Deans song ‘Turning Page’ by Sleeping At Last, played in the background.

“What’s going on?” I asked with the raise of my eyebrow.

“Just go over to him.” Sammy lightly pushed me over to Dean and I gladly complied. Once I got to him he kissed me softly and smiled. He got down on one knee and my eyes teared up.

“Zara Cassandra Henderson I have loved you the minute I set eyes on you. Every morning I wake up with a smile because you are there smiling back. I realized from a lot of help” he looked at our friends and his brother “that I wanted to spend every day with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love and I want to be a family and make your dreams and mine come true. Zara will you marry me?” He opened a small blue box to reveal the most beautiful ring. The tears were really flowing down now and I smile really big and nodded.

“Yes.” I took his hands in mine. He stood and placed the ring on my finger and it fit perfectly.
He kissed me and I could feel his smile. I wrapped my arms around his neck and put my forehead against his. Our friends were cheering and clapping for us.

I would now have a name that was meant for me. Not Henderson or whatever it was before that. It would be Winchester. Zara Cassandra Winchester. He put an arm around my waist and took my hand and placed it on his shoulder and took his other and we danced slowly to our song, we were in our own little world that was nothing but us. I leaned my forehead against his chest and closed my eyes with a smile on my face and happy tears down my cheeks.

i've waited a hundred years.
but i'd wait a million more for you.
nothing prepared me for
what the privilege of being yours would do.

if i had only felt the warmth within your touch,
if i had only seen how you smile when you blush,
or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough,
i would have known what i was living for all along.
what i've been living for.

your love is my turning page,
where only the sweetest words remain.
every kiss is a cursive line,
every touch is a redefining phrase.

i surrender who i've been for who you are,
for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.
if i had only felt how it feels to be yours,
well, i would have known what I've been living for all along.
what i've been living for.

though we're tethered to the story we must tell,
when i saw you, well, i knew we'd tell it well.
with a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas.
like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees.