You Give Love a Bad Name
Parks and Defeat
After Gerard thundered up the stairs, I just sat there on the couch with Mikey for good ten minutes. We didn't say anything, because nothing could be spoken to make things better. We both could sense that this month, this year even, would be the hardest we had yet to endure. There was rarely a divorce in the Way family and I had a feeling that my parents' was the first one in about forty years.
Gerard took the news the hardest. I've never seen him look so angry or betrayed. When I passed his room on the way to mine, I could heard Iron Maiden blasting through the cracks in his door so loud, that I thought that our neighbors would complain for sure.
But I knew why Gerard was doing that. To muffle his crying. He never fell apart in front of me and Mikey.
After two hours of me staring at my bedroom ceiling, Gerard being cooped up in his room and Mikey staring at the same page of newspaper, our Mom practically kicked us out of the house. She said that we needed to clear our heads and that we would thank her for that later.
Dad was sleeping at some hotel.
Mikey and I choose a local park that was fifteen minutes away from our house as our destination, and our oldest brother followed in a zombie like state.
Gerard haven't said anything since the three of us had 'the talk' with our parents in our living room, and it was starting to scare me. Mikey told me to give Gerard some space to think things over.
So here we were, in the deserted park, in the same positions since we got there which was about three hours ago. I was sitting on a rusty swing, Mikey next to me, both of us staring glumly at the wet ground below our feet. Gerard was slumped against the swing set's pole, his eyes dim and bloodshot, smoking a cigarette.
With a shiver, I finally took awareness of my surroundings, something that I haven't done in the past two and a half hours. The sky was already pitch black and the September cold was all around me, making me wish that I have thought to bring a jacket.
The vibration in my jeans's left pocket shattered my grim thoughts. As I reached for the phone, I thought with a sinking heart, that it might be Cara calling to comfort me about the divorce. I canceled our sleep over earlier, telling her that today, I wanted to be alone with my brothers.
Slowly, almost in a daze, I opened my phone. As soon as the plastic was against my ear, I silently cursed myself for not checking caller ID.
"Hello?" I had to clear my throat. I haven't spoken in about three hours.
"Lena?"
"Frank?"
"What's wrong?" he asked me quickly, concern evident in his voice.
I sighed, biting on my lip ring. How Frank managed to dead on detect a person's mood, even over the phone, amazed me even to this day.
"A lot of things," I mumbled, watching out of a corner of my eye as Gerard put out the butt of his cigarette on his shoe and started to fish in his jacket's pocket for the rest of the pack. "Like my parents's divorce for example."
There was a shocked silence on the other end of the line. I'm sure that out of all things he was thinking, this surely must have not been it.
"I'm so sorry," he finally managed to breath out so quiet, that I had to strain my ears to hear him. "Are you guys okay? Are you okay? Do you want me to come over?"
I was about to reply, but felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned my body towards Mikey, looking questionability at him. He extended his hand, obviously wanting the phone.
"Frank, Mikey wants to talk to you," I said quickly, and before he could reply, I dropped the phone in Mikey's outstretched palm.
"Frank? Yeah, hey, man. No, not that good. Uh...No, we're not home. Listen, band practices. I think that we should take a break for one or two weeks. You understand..."
I tuned out the rest and got up, letting the swing sway in the wind, behind me. Suddenly feeling vulnerable, I walked over to Gerard and sat down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at me and gave an attempt at a small smile.
The sadness in his eyes broke me. I never saw Gerard so defeated before. I couldn't see my brother like that. The tears started coming before I could stop them and in the next five seconds I was bawling my eyes out.
Gerard hugged me, pulling me in his lap like a mother would do with a child and closed his jacket around the both of us. After my sobs gradually died and turned into hiccups, I just laid on his chest, warm and safe, listening to his heartbeat. It was like I was five years old again, and Gerard was comforting me after I lost my favorite teddy bear.
"Everything is going to be alright," Gerard whispered in my ear, stroking my hair. "If anything, you have Mikey and me. We will always be there for you. No matter what. You know that."
I nodded, and hugged him tighter.
Gerard took the news the hardest. I've never seen him look so angry or betrayed. When I passed his room on the way to mine, I could heard Iron Maiden blasting through the cracks in his door so loud, that I thought that our neighbors would complain for sure.
But I knew why Gerard was doing that. To muffle his crying. He never fell apart in front of me and Mikey.
After two hours of me staring at my bedroom ceiling, Gerard being cooped up in his room and Mikey staring at the same page of newspaper, our Mom practically kicked us out of the house. She said that we needed to clear our heads and that we would thank her for that later.
Dad was sleeping at some hotel.
Mikey and I choose a local park that was fifteen minutes away from our house as our destination, and our oldest brother followed in a zombie like state.
Gerard haven't said anything since the three of us had 'the talk' with our parents in our living room, and it was starting to scare me. Mikey told me to give Gerard some space to think things over.
So here we were, in the deserted park, in the same positions since we got there which was about three hours ago. I was sitting on a rusty swing, Mikey next to me, both of us staring glumly at the wet ground below our feet. Gerard was slumped against the swing set's pole, his eyes dim and bloodshot, smoking a cigarette.
With a shiver, I finally took awareness of my surroundings, something that I haven't done in the past two and a half hours. The sky was already pitch black and the September cold was all around me, making me wish that I have thought to bring a jacket.
The vibration in my jeans's left pocket shattered my grim thoughts. As I reached for the phone, I thought with a sinking heart, that it might be Cara calling to comfort me about the divorce. I canceled our sleep over earlier, telling her that today, I wanted to be alone with my brothers.
Slowly, almost in a daze, I opened my phone. As soon as the plastic was against my ear, I silently cursed myself for not checking caller ID.
"Hello?" I had to clear my throat. I haven't spoken in about three hours.
"Lena?"
"Frank?"
"What's wrong?" he asked me quickly, concern evident in his voice.
I sighed, biting on my lip ring. How Frank managed to dead on detect a person's mood, even over the phone, amazed me even to this day.
"A lot of things," I mumbled, watching out of a corner of my eye as Gerard put out the butt of his cigarette on his shoe and started to fish in his jacket's pocket for the rest of the pack. "Like my parents's divorce for example."
There was a shocked silence on the other end of the line. I'm sure that out of all things he was thinking, this surely must have not been it.
"I'm so sorry," he finally managed to breath out so quiet, that I had to strain my ears to hear him. "Are you guys okay? Are you okay? Do you want me to come over?"
I was about to reply, but felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned my body towards Mikey, looking questionability at him. He extended his hand, obviously wanting the phone.
"Frank, Mikey wants to talk to you," I said quickly, and before he could reply, I dropped the phone in Mikey's outstretched palm.
"Frank? Yeah, hey, man. No, not that good. Uh...No, we're not home. Listen, band practices. I think that we should take a break for one or two weeks. You understand..."
I tuned out the rest and got up, letting the swing sway in the wind, behind me. Suddenly feeling vulnerable, I walked over to Gerard and sat down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at me and gave an attempt at a small smile.
The sadness in his eyes broke me. I never saw Gerard so defeated before. I couldn't see my brother like that. The tears started coming before I could stop them and in the next five seconds I was bawling my eyes out.
Gerard hugged me, pulling me in his lap like a mother would do with a child and closed his jacket around the both of us. After my sobs gradually died and turned into hiccups, I just laid on his chest, warm and safe, listening to his heartbeat. It was like I was five years old again, and Gerard was comforting me after I lost my favorite teddy bear.
"Everything is going to be alright," Gerard whispered in my ear, stroking my hair. "If anything, you have Mikey and me. We will always be there for you. No matter what. You know that."
I nodded, and hugged him tighter.