You Give Love a Bad Name

"Avoiding you?" I repeated, stalling for time so I could think of a good response.

Frank didn't even nod, just continued to stare at the water. I sighed and walked over to him, thinking of how to say what was on my mind the best and without hurting his feelings.

"I don't think that it would be the best idea for us to hang out anymore," I blurted out, deciding to go with the truth.

I heard a sharp exhale come from his slightly parted lips, and then his face was next to mine, hurt and bewilderment evident in his features. "What? Why?"

Frank's eyes were mesmerizing, and for the first time in my life, I realized why he always had any girl that he wanted; there in the October sun, the warm rays making his skin glow with radiance, he was more gorgeous than any boy I have ever seen.

Feeling a pang in my stomach, I looked away from his penetrating gaze so I could clear my head.

"Because I'm not the same Lena you used to know. She's gone. Done. Over with." I stole a glance at him, but quickly realized that I made a mistake. His hazel eyes were still watching my every move, and he was so close that I could smell the aftershave that he used. It was a soft, gentle smell that was intoxicating never less. "You are the last person that I want my new-found negativity to affect, Frank."

He sighed and took two steps back, giving me enough space to collect my thoughts and emotions.

"Look," Frank bit his lip, putting both of his hands in the pockets of his black hoodie. He looked somewhat sheepish. "I'm going to try to say this without degrading my masculinity. Not by a lot, anyway."

He took a quick intake of breath and averted his eyes to the ground. "For the past three weeks I gave you space to deal with your family issues and to sort yourself out. I knew that you were hurting, but I also knew that you had to solve this one by yourself. On your own. However, those three weeks of catching glimpses of you in the hallways, classroom, half dead and with vacant eyes, I realized how much I was hurting as well. To see you - so lifeless - was just too much.

Over this period of time, I began to understand what an important factor in my life you are. I also realized that the friendship that we have is so much different than any other I have ever experienced. I know that our personalities clash a lot, but when you're happy with me, your eyes light up, and I feel...," he looked up and flashed me an embarrassed smile. "I don't know how to describe it. It just feels... nice? No, that's a big understatement. I feel whole.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is; I lost you once, and no matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you push me away, I'm not letting you go again. Ever."

My heart was racing at a wondrous speed. I felt dizzy. Nothing made sense anymore. Here I was, trying to dissolve my friendship with Frank to save him from the frustration that would come if our friendship continued, but he was deliberately making sure that those efforts were left just that; efforts.

"Don't you see?" The frustration was beginning to color my voice as I tried not to clench my teeth together from anger at his obliviousness. "I'm. Not. The. Same. The girl who was your best friend is gone. Do you seriously want to spend time with someone who's only form of communication is with her brothers? I don't think so."

Frank crossed his hands stubbornly, his hazel eyes serious. "It's understandable, you're in depression. I'll personally make sure that you will get better. That you smile and laugh again. In fact, no matter what you say or do, I'll be over at your house at exactly three o'clock, every single day until I see some progress."

"Do you seriously want a restraining order?" I asked him with bewilderment.

"If that's what I have to sacrifice to see you happy, then yes," he informed me, his body language telling me to drop the subject.

"Ugh. Fine. Just don't expect me to drop whatever I'm doing and entertain you when you come over," I mumbled, recognizing defeat.

Frank flashed me his signature, heartwarming smile and I couldn't help but once again notice how the October sun made his skin and piercings glow with unearthly light, making him look like some sort of modernized angel.

I shuddered, pushing the unwelcome thoughts away. What was wrong with me today? If I started to find Frank attractive on top of all the other things that were on the list of my problems, my life would seriously be screwed over. Besides the fact that he was, well, Frank, the guy who I watched go through puberty.

Best friends didn't date each other.

"Now that we have everything settled, how about I take you home before Mikey and Gerard kick my ass?" He came up to me with swift steps and grabbed my right hand in his left, entwining our fingers together. "I promised those morons that I would have you home by three, and we're already ten minutes late."

"Okay," I replied absentmindedly, marveling at how warm his hand was.

"Oh, and I'm inviting myself over so we can start your, uh, treatment," Frank informed me smugly, pulling me in the direction of the trail that lead to the parking lot.

"And what is my treatment, Dr. Iero?" I wondered with amusement, playing along with his game.

He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes and grinned. "First a movie. A comedy, naturally. And if that doesn't bring a smile to your face, I'm gonna do something stupid and childish."

"Like what?"

"Tickle war."

I groaned. Much to my distaste, as long as I could remember, I was always the most ticklish person not only in my family, but I was pretty sure in the whole New Jersey. Gerard, being the 'considerate' brother that he was, told everyone about my issue when I was about eleven years old, so now whenever any one of my friends wanted something from me, all they had to do was to tickle one of my body parts and I was sure to give in to their wishes.

"Ugh. You suck," I said with somewhat mild amusement as we reached his car. "And you don't play fair."

"I know," he smirked, opening the passenger door for me.