You Give Love a Bad Name

I heard a click on the other line, and Mikey was gone. Sighing I put the phone away, focusing my attention only on Gerard afterwards.

I tried to ignore his labored breathing as I stroked his hair. Seeing him in pain broke my heart, and I would have given anything in the world to switch places with him. I just wanted this to be a bad, bad, dream, so I could wake up and fight Gerard for the bathroom like I usually did in the mornings.

"Is Mikey coming?" I heard Logan ask somewhere to the right of me.

I just nodded, not turning away from Gerard.

Today was supposed to be one of the highlights of the year - seeing my favorite band with my favorite people. But of course this is my life we're talking about, so I should have known that something would screw this whole night up.

My mind flashed back to almost one hour ago, the first time I saw Gerard in this state. How pale his skin was, the empty eyes. How scared he look when I held him in my arms.

I didn't blame the overdose on Gerard. Of course he should have known better than to do drugs, but he needed help. He was still trying to cope with our parents' divorce, while showing a brave face to me and Mikey. Trying to be an older brother that we looked up to. Trying to be the 'man' of the family now that our Dad was no longer there.

The pressure finally snapped him in half.

"Lena!"

I lifted my head to see Mikey running across the street towards me. As he got closer, I could distinguish his flushed skin and fear in his wide eyes in the night air.

"What the hell happened?" He kneeled in front of Gerard, trying to take his face in his hands. "Why is he like this?"

"I don't know," I whispered, feeling the fear and nervousness being replaced by a dead, empty feeling as my eyes landed on Frank running towards us as well. "But I'm about to find out."

Trying not to make a lot of excess movement, I stood up. Making sure that Gerard was safe in Mikey's grasp I turned to do something that killed me a bit on the inside.

Frank ran up to me, his eyes traveling from me to Gerard in disbelief. "What happened?"

I stepped closer towards him, making him take a step back towards the dirty, crumbling brick wall. "Shouldn't I be asking you this? I didn't see my brother since you two left my house. He was fine then."

I guess my cold, dry tone surprised Frank as well as myself, because he took another step into the shadows. "I d-don't know. But he is going to be okay, right? Right?"

"What did he take, Frank?" I asked calmly.

He looked at me with fear. "I can't tell you. I promised Gee I wouldn't."

I stepped closer to him. "What did he take, Frank?"

"I-I-"

In an instant I had him pined against the wall, the scruff of his shirt in my shaking hands. I felt like I was about to lose it. "What the fuck did he take? Fucking tell me!"

"Xanax," Frank whispered, his hazel eyes looking at me with regret. "But he didn't do a lot. I'm so sorry, I didn't know that-"

I stepped away from him, letting go of his shirt in the proses, and slapped him hard across the face. "How could you do this? How could you let him do this to himself? You're supposed to be his best friend!"

"Lena-"

"Shut the hell up! What the fuck is your problem?" I felt so angry that tears started to cascade down my cheeks from fury and frustration. "You know that he's not stable!"

Frank grabbed me by the shoulders, trying to reason with me. "Listen to me, I-"

I pushed him away. "No you listen to me. I don't care what you say - you let my brother mix Xanax with alcohol. You know what happens when people mix those two together? People die, Frank. Did you want Gerard to die, is that it?"

He looked furious. "No! How could you even say that?"

I stared at him, my gaze laced with icy frostiness. "I don't want you talking to Gerard for at least a week, Iero. He needs some time away from you."

He looked at the ground and nodded. "Okay."

"And one more thing," I turned on my heel and started to walk towards the parking lot. "Don't talk to me for the rest of your life."

As I walked towards my destination, I felt like my tears were about to start all over again. But this time not from anger, from despair.

Today was wrong. So, so, so wrong.

The cool air whipped my cheeks as I found the old car that I shared with Mikey and Gerard, parked sloppily next to the streetlight. Shaking I sat down on the cold ground, leaning against the car and burying my face in my hands.

After a minute, I felt another body sit down next to mine, and a warm arm wrap around my shoulders.

As much as I wished it to be Frank, I knew it was Logan.

"How are you holding up?" I heard him whisper soothingly.

That's all I needed for the tears to start flowing again.

I looked up at his face and threw my arms around him in a tight hug. "I can't believe this happened, Logan! I lost Frank again! What am I going to do?"

He started to wipe my wet face with his shirt carefully. "It's going to be okay. I'm here for you, you know that."

I shook my head and cried harder. "You know that it won't be. I don't know how I can live without him."

He didn't say anything, just held me for the next ten minutes until Mikey called me to come and pick them up.

Frank was driving home alone.