You Give Love a Bad Name

On Monday, December 5th, I was woken up, and quite rudely I might add, from my deep and peaceful slumber at five in the morning, by having a handful of snow shoved in my face. Gasping, shivering and cursing I jumped out of the bed, throwing anything that my hands touched at laughing Mikey and Gerard, who apparently thought that my state of bother was one of the funniest things that they had come across in a lengthy amount of time.

"Wakey wakey, sis, you're gonna miss all the fun, snoozing in bed like that!"

I snarled and threw my pillow at Gerard in a form of reply, turning to chase after Mikey who was already running downstairs, decked in gear for the first snow of the year.

I was about to follow him with my plastic baseball bat, but was cut off by Gerard right in front of my bedroom door, both of his hands still holding now-melting snowballs.

"Gerard," I started, wiping my wet face with my free hand, still feeling the bits of cold snow in my hair from Mikey's snowball, "aren't we a little too old for that ki-"

"Nope," he smirked, and after bombarding my face with his snowy missiles, ran out of my room to join Mikey outside.

Grumbling and trying to find a towel, I sat down on my bed; winter has officially stated - my brothers cut the ribbon of seasons with their annual wake-Lena-up-by-throwing-snow-in-her-face-while-she-is-sleeping tradition.

The day went by painfully slow as I waited for the end of school. Mikey and I were tardy for our first class of the day, which, regrettably, was English with Ramsey. After getting detentions for Thursday on account of us being ten minutes late, Mikey and I sat down in our desks with huge smiles on our faces, still glowing from the snowball fight we had before we got to school.

Biology was exceptionally fun, though. Hinton let us go outside and study how animals behaved in the snow. I doubted that was in the curriculum, but Hinton was a good guy and saw how giddy his students were to go outside and walk around in the winter wonderland.

At lunch I tried looking for Frank, but he was nowhere to be found, so instead I let myself be swept up by Logan, Melanie, Mikey, Cara, Jake and Bob in yet another snowball fight on the school grounds, which was broken up by our worried principal ten minutes later, muttering in a panicked tone something about kids and violence.

Now I sat in American Government, reading the thick textbook under the watchful eye of Lareeze, with Mikey and Jake by my side, both of them only pretending to read.

Frank wasn't in class, and according to everyone I asked, he was not at school at all. I found it puzzling because he sounded fine on the phone when I talked to him last night. Somewhat troubled, but fine never less.

"Lena, he's fine."

I blinked as I realized that I was staring into space, my textbook long forgotten, and Mikey was looking at me with a concerned and yet somewhat amused expression on his face.

Were my thoughts really that transparent?

"I dunno what you're talking about," I whispered, looking down at my textbook quickly. I had to be careful. If anyone one of them, especially Frank, found out about my stupid crush...

Waiting till Lareeze's back was turned towards us, Jake turned around with both of his eyebrows raised in question. "Who is fine?"

"No one," I replied, still pretending to study my textbook.

"She's worried about Frank," Mikey explained in a hushed tone, "he wasn't in school today and Lena -"

"I'm not worried," I cut him off quickly, looking up in panic, while still managing to keep my voice down. "I'm not wor -"

"Is there something you would like to share with us, Ms. Way?"

I gulped and turned to face the front of the classroom, where Lareeze was studying me with cold eyes, his lips forming a thin line. "No."

"Then don't disturb people who are trying to work around you," my teacher hissed, sitting down in his desk and positioning his body angle so it was turned towards me. "Understood? Next time I see that happen, you will be sent to the dean."

I nodded and looked down at my desk, feeling the curious stares of my classmates on my flushed face.

"I hate him," I spat angrily, briskly walking away from the classroom as soon as the final bell rang. "I hate, hate, hate his guts."

I felt Mikey's hand on my shoulder, turning me around gently. "Don't say that."

"He's an old, sinister asshole, and I hope he dies alone," I continued my tirade, ignoring Mikey's frowning face. "He's the reason why kids hate school. Well, not him, but his kind, anyway."

"Look, forget about Lareeze," Jake caught up to me and Mikey and mirrored our quick steps to keep up. "You're just going to drive yourself insane."

I didn't say anything and just kept walking towards the parking lot. Gerard didn't have school today, so Mikey and I had the car.

"But you're right - I hope he does die alone," Jake murmured after a minute of silence.

As much as I wanted to be pissed off at my evil teacher, I started laughing at Jake's hopeful face.

"See? Now that's better," Jake grinned, thumping me on the back in a friendly fashion. "That's the Lena we all know and love."

"Speak for yourself on that last one," Mikey added with a smile, nudging me with his shoulder playfully. "Oh, there's Frank. He looks fine to me."

My eyes followed in the direction Mikey's hand was pointing to see Frank leaning against our car, smoking a cigarette.

He did not look fine. He didn't even look okay. Even from the distance I could see how pale his face was, and how huge the bags under his eyes were.

"Hey," he greeted us soon as we got into the earshot, and turned to smile at me, his usually warm eyes empty and hollow; seeing right through me. "I just came back from Gerard's. We're going out tonight."

That last part was no way directed at me.

Mikey tilted his head to the side, seeming as puzzled by Frank's attitude as I was. "I can't, today. Melanie and I are going Christmas shopping. I promised her last week."

Frank studied my brother for a second before turning to look at Jake with raised eyebrows.

Jake shrugged. "I'm good for tonight. I have nothing planned."

Frank exhaled, his hot breath coming up as steam in the freezing air. "Good. I need to go out and clear my head a bit, you know? Meet me at my place around nine. Gerard is going to pick us up."

As soon as Jake nodded, Frank turned on his heal and started to walk towards his car, which was parked not too far away, too lost in thought to even say goodbye.

Feeling my heart beating an irregular pattern in my chest, I got inside my car, sitting down in the cold passenger seat; waiting for Mikey to follow and start driving home.

"Hey, can you do me a favor?"

I looked up from my book to see Gerard standing a couple of feet away from me, dressed in dark jeans, Nirvana shirt and his signature leather jacket.

Putting the book on my knees I nodded. "Sure, what's up?"

"Can you tell Mom that I'm sleeping over at Frank's today? So she won't wait up for me? We're going to be drinking, and I don't want her to see me in that...state again," Gerard explained, tugging on the seams of his jacket. "I'm going to sneak in after she goes to bed."

"Yeah, okay," I agreed, feeling a dull sensation in the pit of my stomach. I had to remind myself that Gerard was a big boy now, and if he wanted to get wasted, he didn't have to ask my permission to do it. "Who'll be driving after?"

"Ray - he's coming too," Gerard explained, starting to walk towards the front door. "Don't wait up."

I sighed and turned back to my book after I heard the door close.

It was eight thirty in the evening.

I was woken up by a key turning jerkily in the lock outside; the sound carrying loudly in the still atmosphere of the house.

The clock on the stand beside me showed that it was three in the morning.

Sitting up, I realized that I have fallen asleep while reading, and the book was now laying discarded on the floor a couple of feet away from the couch. The key turned again, followed by a loud, frustrated thump against the door.

Sliding my feet in my slippers, I stood up, walking towards the front door with light steps. The thumping increased, now cursing added to the mix.

As I opened the door, Gerard fell in - the smell of alcohol piercing the air with unsavory odor. My oldest brother whispered my name and laughed, leaning against me for full support.

"Shhhh," I whispered soothingly, staring into the winter night through the open front door, ignoring the cold air that was seeping through. "Where is the car, Gerard?"

"Ray 'as it," he slurred, giggling. "Ray Toro. Torosaurus."

I shushed him again and closed the door, helping him towards his room, so he could sleep everything off and not wake Mikey and Mom.

Only after Gerard was tucked in bed and there was two Tylenol pills and a glass of water on the night stand beside him had I asked the question that was plaguing my thoughts as soon as Gerard came home. "Where is Frank?"

"He...he went home with some girl," Gerard mumbled, closing his eyes. "Pretty girl."

Shutting off the lights, I went to my room, ignoring the tears that stung my eyes.