You Give Love a Bad Name

"Are you sure you don't want to go with us?"

I sighed and shook my head, smiling softly. "I'm fine, Gerard. Really. Logan is going to be here any minute now."

Gerard looked uneasy, leaning against the doorframe for support. "He is fifteen minutes late, you know."

"Yeah, but he called to say that he will be a little bit late, so it's all good," I reassured my oldest brother, shivering as a gust of cold wind blew past him and into the house.

"But -"

"Gerard!" There was a honk, followed by Mikey sticking his head out of the car with an irritated expression on his face. "Let's go!"

Gerard turned to glare at him, lifting a right hand to give him a one-fingered salute before turning back to me. "Are you sure? We can always -"

"Gerard," I started to push him out of the door gently, "I'm positive. No you go on to Bob's with Mikey to do all those amazing and macho guy things before everyone else shows up. I wouldn't be able to go anyway - I need to finish getting ready."

"Well, if you insist," Gerard eyed me anxiously, swaying a bit as he took a step backwards. "But can you at least convince Mikey to let me drive?"

I shot him a 'look'. "And get both of you killed? No way, Mr. Way. Not after those five beers you had."

"Whaaat?" Gerard laughed, taking another step backwards with unsteady footing. "I just started happy hour a bit early, that's all. Besides, it's not like I'm drunk."

"No, of course not." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Mikey open the car door and start to jog to wards me and our 'sober' brother. "I'm sure that swaying is just giddiness for tonight."

"Hey -"

"Gerard!" Mikey grabbed him by the arm, and started to drag him towards the car, muttering with an insane shine to his eyes. "Come on! What part of 'six-o'clock' do you not understand?"

Gerard shot me an apologetic look, before focusing his attention on Mikey. "Let go, you twat!"

"Ow!" Mikey dropped Gerard's arm, going towards the drivers door and rubbing the spot on his head where Gerard smacked him. "I'm a twat? No I'm not! You are!"

"Oh, that was the comeback of the century, doofus," Gerard grumbled, getting in from his side, his voice becoming considerately muted after he slammed the door. "Good job."

I couldn't hear Mikey's reply because I was too busy laughing. For some reason, whenever my brothers started one of their silly bickering matches, I thought of two old men battling it out on the ring with their canes. The reason I didn't take their arguments seriously was because I knew they'd be over it in as little as three minutes, laughing and chatting about something completely random on the fourth.

Waiting till the car was out of sight, I closed the door on the already-darkening street, going inside to finish getting ready for Bob's birthday and New Year's Eve party.

Thirty minutes later, Logan was standing on my doorstep, a guilty half-smile on his face. "Sorry I'm late."

I stepped outside and closed the door behind me, making sure that it was locked before giving him a hug. "It's all good. Got your present?"

Logan nodded, kissing me on the forehead. "Yep, in the trunk. Bob's gonna be so psyched when he opens it!"

"Oh, what did you get him?" I asked, my interest peaking. Myself, after hours and hours of roaming around different malls and shops, I got Bob a vintage Rolling Stones shirt, and a zebra-patterned hoodie.

"I'm not telling you," Logan looked down at me with a small smirk playing on his lips. "You'll just have to wait and see."

"Jerk," I rolled my eyes, smiling neverless.

Logan stuck his tongue out with a childishly, walking towards his car that was parked on the curb. "Are Mikey and Gerard already at Bob's?"

"Yep," I nodded, opening the door and getting into the passenger seat. "Why? Do you miss GerBear?"

Logan ignored my teasing voice and stuck the keys in the engine, turning them. "Is it okay if we're a bit late? I need to do something before the party."

I shrugged, putting my seatbelt on. "Sure. The actual party doesn't start till around seven, anyway. Bob invited his closest friends early just to chill. He does that every year."

Logan nodded, eyes on the road as he pulled out into the street.

We drove for a while, mostly silent, but sometimes he'd ask me little things, almost like he was distracting himself. When he finally stopped the car and turned to face me, I was surprised to find that it was only a couple of blocks from Bob's house.

"Lena, we need to talk."

"Okay," my voice was cations as I looked at Logan's tense expression and the way he was running his fingers through his black hair over and over again. "Let's talk, then."

For some reason, I could distinguish one heartbeat from the next, that's how loud my heart was fluttering in my chest. Even though I knew Logan didn't say anything to make me so worried, the look on his face was enough of a reason.

"I talked to Mikey last night," Logan started, his gray eyes studying me, "and he told me something extremely interesting."

I swallowed. "What was it?"

"I promised not to tell you, but Lena," Logan took my hand in his, "you have to promise me that you'll talk to Frank."

I laughed, instantly relieved. "Oh, that. Of course I will. After the whole friendship ring thing, I'm confident being around him knowing that he wants to be my friend no matter what. Even if he does suspect that I like him."

"No, that's not what I mean," Logan leaned in closer to me, making sure that I was looking him straight in the eyes. "You need to tell him how you feel."

I pulled away from him, instantly feeling like I was being suffocated. "Logan -"

"Please?" Logan was now pleading with me. "As one of your best friends, I'm asking you to do this. Mikey thinks that you should, too."

"No," I started shaking my head, feeling dizzy. "I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't."

"What have you got to lose?" Fatigue laced Logan's voice. "Didn't you say that he knows you like him?"

"Knows is such a strong word, don't you think?" I tried to keep the butterflies in my stomach at bay. "I believe suspect is the word I used."

"Lena -"

"Logan, no." I opened the door, and began to get out of the car. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I think I'll walk the rest of the way to Bob's house. I need the fresh air."

"Lena, get in the car."

"No."

"If you won't tell him," Logan's voice was barely audible, "I will."

I froze, feeling panic wash over me, and got back in, turning to face Logan, my lips trembling from sheer shock. "Don't. Please, don't."

"Lena..."

"I thought I could trust you, Logan," I whispered, feeling my eyes glaze over with tears. "Even Mikey didn't know about this, but you did. And yet, you go and screw me over like this."

"Lena," he tried to justify himself, some of the panic that I was feeling seeping into his eyes, "you know it's not like that!"

"Oh yeah?" I took the end of my scarf and dabbed at my eyes, desperately trying to save the makeup it took me almost twenty minutes to put on. "What is it like, then? Because it looks exactly like that to me."

"I just...," Logan sighed, and suddenly he looked defeated, which caught my attention long enough for my tear ducts to stop working. "I just want the best for you. You deserve the best. You are by far the closest person to me here in Belleville, and I hate to sit here and watch the two of you make fools of yourself when things could be...different."

"Well, they can't be different, Logan," I whispered, giving up on my face, and turning to stare him straight in the eyes. "I don't want things to be different. I'm happy with the way things are."

"But are you?"

He didn't have to ask me that question, we both new the answer deep in our hearts.

"No," I said quietly after a couple of minutes of staring out of the window at the falling snow and biting back the answer. "No, I'm not. And I know I'll never be completely happy until Frank knows how I feel."

"See?" Logan's face lit up in a smile, his arm wrapping itself around my shoulders and hugging me close to his body. "This is the truth, and you know it."

"And I also know that if I told him, our friendship would never be the same," I uttered, pushing Logan away. "I'm not going to do it, Logan. I may not be happy with what I have, but I'm content. Our friendship is worth more than this stupid crush."

"For fucks sakes, Lena," Logan threw his arms upwards in exasperation, "when are you going to admit that it's more than that?"

"Logan -"

"No, don't Logan me." Logan turned away, his hands gripping the stirring wheel in anger. "I changed my mind - you don't have to do it. Don't tell him. It's going to suck for me to watch your feelings eating at you from the inside, but I guess I'm going to have to suck it up and keep my mouth shut."

"Oh yeah?" I was starting to get irritated. "Isn't someone a bit hypocritical? What about you and Gerard, huh? When are you planning to tell him how you feel?"

"It's different and you know it," he retorted, not at all swayed by my argument. "He's straight. If I knew I had even a slight chance with him, I'd take it in a heartbeat. And with your situation, Lena, well, gender isn't an issue, is it?"

I didn't say anything because I knew he was right. It wasn't.

"And forget that I said anything," Logan continued, starting up the car. "This is what I had to do before the party - I had to talk some sense into you. But I guess you aren't as rational, or strong for that matter, as I thought you were."

The tears came back again as we drove the few remaining blocks to Bob's house.