You Give Love a Bad Name

After the three of us came back to my hospital room, Mom attacked my hair with a hairbrush and some scrunchies to make me look more 'presentable' for my friends. Although I wanted nothing more than to run away from my mother’s maternal instincts on my barely functioning legs, I sat with a patient smile on the cold bed, not daring to deprive Mom of her fun as I realized how much she was enjoying taking care of the 'baby' of the family.

After about thirty minutes of torture and two dorky pigtails, Gerard put his magazine down and yawned, stretching his hands. "Mom, let her go. Everyone's going to be here soon, and I'm sure it will be a tad awkward for Lena to see her friends again if you're around."

“It’s okay, Gee,” I said half-heartedly, imagining with a sinking feeling exactly how childish my hairstyle looked at the moment. “I don’t mind.”

"No, no, he’s right." Mom swiftly put another barrette in my hair, admiring her creation with almost watery eyes. "Sometimes I forget how much you guys have grown up. I remember the times when I used to be your best friend."

"You are our best friend, Mom," Gerard reassured her, giving me a wink when she wasn't looking. "It's just that we have to keep up our mucho appearances in front of the guys, y'know? For street cred."

"Yeah, yeah," Mom snorted, kissing us on the cheek before putting her coat on. After adjusting every article of her clothing to her taste, she turned towards my oldest brother. "Say, where is Mikey? I haven't seen him since he left home early this morning."

"Um," Gerard walked up to the door, opening it for Mom with a small smile. "He should be here in about an hour. He had an errand to take care of for me."

"Oh." Mom nodded, fidgeting with her pocketbook. "Well, tell your brother that dinner will be in the fridge, so you guys only have to warm it up in the microwave.”

My hand, involuntarily, almost like having a mind of its own, reached for my hair. “Where are you going to be, Mom?”

“I'm going to visit Grandma today," she replied, her eyes moving from me to Gerard. “Don’t forget, okay?”

His smile grew wider. "Sure thing, Mom."

Shaking her head, Mom walked out. Waiting a few seconds till he couldn't see her, Gerard exhaled and shut the door, leaning against it.

With a sigh, Gerard looked up and his eyes found mine. Walking up to me, he produced a small compact mirror from his coat, flipping it open and holding it up next to my face. "You look like a gayer version of Elton John with all that rainbow shit in your hair."

I groaned as I caught sight of my reflection. "I thought that wasn’t possible, but I actually look worse."

Gerard shrugged and put his mirror away, starting to take the horrible barrettes out of my hair. "I can't believe how soft I've grown. I remember a time when instead of helping you, I'd take out my camera and post the pictures all over MySpace."

I smiled softly, looking him straight in the eyes. "Thank you."

He coughed, looking uncomfortable but amused at the same time. "You're welcome. Let’s get these fuckers out of your hair before everyone gets here. I may have grown soft, but I know for a fact that Bob hasn't."

I laughed, my fingers searching my hair for the small metal objects. After a couple of minutes I cleared my throat. "So, why do you have a compact mirror in your jacket?"

"Got the last one," Gerard informed me, clutching a purple barrette in his hand. Then he realized what I asked him and shrugged nonchalantly. "Being as gorgeous as I am takes a lot of work, you know."

I snorted, feeling my pigtails. "Whatever, Geetard."

He was about to retort something back, but there was a knock on the door, making both of us turn towards the sound, and my hand fell by my side, not having enough time to take the pigtails out.

"Come in," Gerard called, grinning down at me.

With evident caution, the door slowly opened, and Logan's face peered in. As soon as he saw me, his face split into a radiant smile, and he ran into the room, eloping me in a hug and almost smothering me with the pink roses that he brought.

"Oh my God!" Logan let go of me for a split second to look me over, and then I was in his arms once again. "Lena! I missed you so, so much! You have no idea!"

"I missed you too," I replied, trying to make my whispery voice as loud as possible, my heart melting with happiness. "A lot."

There was a shove and Logan's arms were replaced with someone else's. Amidst my surprise, it took me a couple of seconds to realize that it was Melanie who I was hugging.

"Jesus, Lena," her voice was a bit louder than my own, and she sounded like she was about to cry. "I've had this whole speech ready that I was going to say when I saw you, but my mind is all blank now."

I laughed quietly, and my arms around her tightened, my eyes beginning to water. "It’s okay, I'm the same way."

"Cheese!"

There was a bright flash and Melanie and I broke apart so we could turn to look at the culprit. Bob was standing next to us with a camera and many bright balloons in his hands, looking at both of us with a huge grin on his face. "The moment is now captured for forever."

Melanie rolled her eyes and turned towards Bob, hastily trying to wipe away her wet eyelashes with a shaky smile. "You're an idiot, you know that, Bryar?"

Bob smirked and put the camera away, walking towards me and giving me a hug as well, the balloons almost hitting me on the head in the process. "Hey, Lena. Missed me?"

Laughing, I pulled away, grinning through my tears. "Do you even have to ask?"

"Out of my way!" Logan pushed Melanie and Bob over to the side, thrusting the flowers in Gerard's hands and grabbing a couple of Kleenexes from the little table beside my bed, turning towards me with a pout. "Can't you see that she's crying?"

Gerard, who was leaning against the windowsill arms crossed over his chest, scoffed as Logan blotted my wet cheeks. "Psh, like you're not about to."

"Big boys don't cry, Gee," Logan replied, smiling down at me. "You should know that."

A small smirk settled on Gerard's lips and he looked like he was about to say something, but he looked away, his eyes settling on Bob instead. "What’s with the massive amount of balloons? Are you going to make another chipmunk video, dork?"

Bob shrugged. "Melanie picked them out. I wanted to get Lena a keg instead, but whatever."

"See? My point is proven." Melanie shoved Bob playfully, making a face. "Idiot.”

"Oh God, who did your hair, sweetie?" Logan was still fussing over me, although I suspected it was only because he couldn't get over the fact that it was me his hands was holding. The same girl who was in a coma for months, the doctors not knowing whether she was going to live or die. "It’s a mess."

"Mom," I whispered, feeling like something warm trickled all over my insides, coating everything in a radiant glow. Nothing changed. It wasn't weird between us, and they didn't treat me any differently than before. Everything was going to be okay. "She did my hair."

I took a moment for me to look at all of them; Bob, just like I expected, barely changed at all. He just looked a bit taller and more huggable. Logan still looked practically the same, except his hair grew an inch or so longer, and I could see that he now had gauges in his ears. Melanie's appearance, on the other hand, changed quite a bit. Her hair was almost down to her mid-back, all unnatural hair color gone, and her bangs rested across the forehead. The look suited her well.

"Lena, I'm going to put your things on table, okay?" Melanie gathered the balloons, flowers, a card, and a big stuffed teddy bear, and put all of it on the table, making the small piece of furniture look cluttered but inviting and festive as well.

I grinned at her. "Sure."

She sighed and looked around the room with interest. "That's better. I like this room better than your critical care one. More homely."

My eyebrows rose with interest. "You've seen my other room?"

"Oh, sure," Melanie shrugged somewhat dismissively. "Logan and I used to visit you at least three times a week when you were in a coma. Always used to see Gerard, Mikey, and Frank sitting in different corners of the room like zombies, staring at you like you were about to get up and tap dance or something."

Frank.

I swallowed, my throat becoming instantly dry, and looked down at my hands, trying to ignore the raising speed of my heartbeats.

I haven't allowed myself to think about him since I woke up today, trying to avoid the truth for just a little bit longer. I didn't want to face the fact that I fucked up our friendship. I shouldn’t have ran away from him like that. Not after the things I said. It terrified me to know what he thought about me now.

"Where is he anyway? I'd expect him to be the first one here." Melanie continued, oblivious to my petrified expression. "Is he still with his aunt in Rhode Island?"

"No, she said that he left two days ago," Gerard told her stiffly, his facial expression hinting that this was not a topic he wanted to talk about at the moment. "He hasn’t answered his phone since we last talked to him."

"Oh," her face fell. "I see."

Only Logan noticed that my eyes glazed over and my breathing quickened as I remembered the last time I saw him. Our fight. Quickly, Logan got back to my hair, tugging at it and obviously trying to distract me from my grim thoughts. "How does a ponytail sound? That’s the only thing I can really do half-decently."

I nodded, still feeling like I was repeatedly getting plunged in a tub of icy-cold water, the previous warmth sucked from my body like a droplet of water in a desert.

Noticing my change of mood, Gerard opened his mouth with what looked like an attempt to try to cheer me up, but before any words could escape his parted lips, we heard commotion outside my door.

“Excuse me, Sir,” a female voice pleaded shrilly as the frantic footfalls echoed against the walls of the otherwise quiet corridor. “There is no running in the halls. Sir? Sir! Excuse me!”

Before anyone could register what was going on, the door flew open, and my breath caught in my throat, my blood turning to ice in my veins.

Our eyes met.

His hair was long and messy, obviously due for a haircut a long time ago, and he looked thinner and more gaunt, but he the same familiar gorgeous features hidden underneath that mop of unruly black hair, and the same breathtaking hazel eyes that would make me breathless at any given moment.

Frank Iero stood in the door frame before us, gaping at me, his eyes wide and full of disbelief. I began to become lost in the hypnotizing pools that were his eyes, the thumping of my erratic heart and the steady murmur of someone's voice streaming from Frank’s open cell phone that he tightly clutched in his right hand, the only sounds that reached my ears through the otherwise undisturbed stillness of the room.

I didn’t know how much time had passed with us just starring into each other’s eyes with shock, before his phone was on the ground, the voice mail still playing its message in a barely audible monotonic voice, and he was crouched beside me, touching my hair, my face, his lips trembling as he tried to mouth something out, his whole body shaking like an autumn leaf.

"...gone...they told me you were as good as gone," he gasped out, burying his face into the crook of my neck and gathering me into his arms so I was pushed up against his chest, my feet practically leaving the ground. I felt the fabric of my hospital robe where his face rested becoming drenched with tears. "I didn’t know what to do. God, I…”

I just stood there, completely flabbergasted, my arms automatically wrapping around his torso. Saying that my heart was about to explode would have been an understatement.

“Please don't leave me, Lena,” Frank whispered into my hair, pulling me in even closer than before, eliminating any molecular spaces between us. “Not again."

I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak, and not knowing what I would say even if by some miracle I managed to get something out of my slightly parted lips.

And then it hit me.

As I stood there, holding the sobbing boy in my arms, the strong smell of alcohol and cigarettes radiating from his clothes, I realized that the reason I pushed him away all this time was not because I was afraid of ruining our friendship, but because I was afraid of something bigger than that. Something that left me completely weak and powerless. Something that I had no control over.

I loved him.

Feeling like the wind got knocked out of me, I froze. The realization almost hurt, that's how powerful it was. I was excited and scared at the same time.

And then I thawed.

My eyes began to glaze over and I buried my face into his shirt, forgetting about everything and everyone but him.

"It's all my fault," he was whispering hysterically against my hair. "I should have told you from the beginning, but I was too scared. I'm a coward. I love you. I love you so much that it kills me sometimes."

All of a sudden, his grasp on me loosened, and my face was cupped in his hands. As I breathlessly looked into his hazel orbs, sparkling like crystals from the freshly-shed tears, not being able to process what he said, his lips were on mine.

At first I just stood there, not knowing what to do, the unbelief on what was happening to me cascading down my body in waves. But then, almost like in a second nature, my hands rose up to his hair, gripping some strands in my trembling fingers, almost like I was making sure that he was real, and my lips began to move against his own with the same hunger and passion.

It was nothing like I ever felt. I was dazed but completely aware at the same time. It was only me and him, and nobody else mattered. I never felt so much like a part of someone before.

Everything was perfect.

We were perfect.

There were whistles and clapping behind us, and I smiled against Frank's lips, giving him one last feathery kiss before pulling away and looking up at him with absolute adoration, euphoric feeling spreading through me like wildfire. He was grinning down at me, his eyes telling me more than his lips ever could.

"God, about time to," I heard Bob's teasing voice behind us. "I swear, if this didn't happen today, I'd push you and Lena into a closet and leave you in there for a couple of weeks."

With one last tender look at me, Frank turned toward our grinning audience, wrapping an arm against my waist. "I'd break out in first five minutes and kick your ass."