You Are My Everything

Ryan fell into a daze, Annalyse's words drowning into the background.
"Ryan? Hello? Are you still there? Ry?" She continued, thinking the call may have dropped even though she could hear background noise from the other end.
Finally Ryan snapped out of it.
"Rya--" Annalyse began again.
"Oh hey, sorry. I dazed out a bit. I'm writing." That was stretching the truth just a bit. He wasn't focused on his writing at all. He was focused on the secret that Annalyse may or may not be keeping from him.
"Oh, that's okay. Sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to call to tell you that I don't think I'll be able to go to dinner tonight. Maybe another time though?" she said sadly.
"Oh, um. Yeah. Sure, that'll be fine. Is everything okay?" he asked, worried about how her mysterious doctor's appointment went earlier.
"Yeah. I'm just not feeling my best, that's all. she explained.
"Could I maybe come over? We could maybe watch a movie or something, just relax." he hoped.
Annalyse was quiet for a second making Ryan's hope fade. "Yeah, I guess so. I would like that." she said. He could hear a smile in her voice at the end.
"Are you sure, I don't want to intrude. If you want to be alone I understand." he told her wearily.
"No, no. It's okay. I'll see you in a bit, okay?" she told him happily.
"Okay. See you later." he smiled a bit, hanging up the phone as he said goodbye.

Ryan was making his way to Annalyse's house. He brought her soup, since she was feeling "under the weather." He also brought her flowers. He was hoping to cheer her up as much as possible.
Ryan had decided to not say anything to her just yet. First, he wanted to see if maybe she would bring it up, if there really was anything to bring up. It was possible that Caitlin had made the whole thing up just to screw everything up once again.
When he arrived at her door, he hid the flowers and soup behind his back.
"Hey!" she answered the door, a bright smile on her face. She turned around, inviting him into the house.
"I brought you a few things." First, he pulled out the soup that was in a brown paper bag.
"We had some at my house. I know you weren't feeling good, so I was hoping maybe that'd make you feel a little better." he smiled shyly as she looked in the bag to find the soup in a small container.
She smiled up at him. "You didn't have to do that. But thank you." She went to hug him, but he stopped her.
She looked confused until he brought the bouquet of lilies from behind his back. She gasped slightly. They were her favorite flowers, and were a beautiful color. A light pink with pale yellow around the edges. They were gorgeous.
"Ry--you, you didn't. I mean, thank you, but you really didn't have to do all of this." She stuttered, tears welling in her eyes. It was so sweet of him. He must have put so much thought into coming over. She didn't know what to say.
He just stood there smiling, after he handed her the flowers.
She placed the flowers and soup on the table next to her and pulled Ryan into a big hug. She buried her head into his neck, trying to keep tears from escaping.
Ryan hugged her back, happy but torn. It was moments like these that made him want her so badly. He wanted to just ask her to be his girlfriend, right then and there, and then they could finally be happy together. But he knew that it wasn't that easy. Especially if she was pregnant. He couldn't compete with Brendon if he as the father of her baby, and he knew it. But as sad as that made him, it made him more angry and jealous than anything.
Ryan tried to keep his feelings locked inside so that Anna wouldn't see how he was really feeling.
As Annalyse pulled away, she wiped the corners of her eyes just a little bit. She dragged herself to the couch, laying down and curling her legs up towards her chest.
"So, how did the doctor's go?" Ryan asked nonchalantly as possible. Maybe she would tell him the truth.
She was quiet for a little. "It went okay. They didn't really tell me much that I didn't already know." she finally said.
"What do you mean?" he asked, sitting at the end of the couch she was on.
"I don't know. I just knew that I was sick. They didn't really give me anything to help it." she said quietly. She couldn't bring herself to tell him. Not yet.
"Oh." Ryan sighed. "Do you have a fever?"
"I don't know. At times I feel like I do." she said.
"Why are you wearing a hoodie then?" Ryan asked skeptically.
She smiled a small smile. "I guess sweating it out is the best way to get rid of it, huh?" Her voice wasn't very joking though. It was dry. She hated herself for keeping this from him.
He just nodded. "Movie time? he asked, looking towards the television screen.
She smiled. "Sure. You pick."
Ryan picked up the stack of movies on the coffee table in front of them and sorted through them. He settled on 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' and put it in the dvd player. She rested her head on his shoulder, taking in his warm scent. Throughout the movie she would get distracted, instead thinking about how this could be the last time her and Ryan would be together like this. It could be the last time that they could be close. When he finds out about the baby, everything would change. He would hate her for it, and there would be nothing she could do to change it. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks from time to time as the thought would pop back into her mind. Little did she know, Ryan was thinking similar thoughts. He didn't want to let her go, because he knew that everything would change too soon.

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A few days later, the boys had their first practice at Spencer's Grandma's. She was more than welcoming to them and they couldn't have been happier. After four or five practices, they were starting to see tremendous improvement in their playing. They would practice as much as possible, which at the time was maybe three times a week.
It had been almost two weeks since Ryan had spent time with Annalyse alone. Brendon was almost always with her, which just reinforced his belief that Caitlin wasn't lying. Ryan hadn't really talked to anyone like usual. He was feigning happiness and just making minimal conversation to get through the days without anyone questioning him.
At practice one day, he was really irritable. Every time he tried to talk to Annalyse, Brendon was right by her side and it was really starting to bug him. He saw Brendon enough at practice as it was, he didn't need to see him every time he wanted to see her too. While they were running through one of the newer songs, Ryan messed up a part because he lost his focus. Annalyse had come to the practice that day and he couldn't help but notice that there was a slight bump around her stomach. She was still wearing things to cover it, but it was becoming ineffective. After noticing that, he couldn't think of much else. He just wanted to be gone, anywhere on Earth but there. As he continually messed up the song, maybe somewhat on purpose so they could end practice early, Brendon said something to him.
"Ry, you're not playing it right. It goes like this…" he proceeded to try and show Ryan how to play the riff.
"I know how it goes, I wrote the damn song!" he snapped.
"Whoa. I'm just trying to help." Brendon said, astounded that Ryan was yelling at him. He really was just trying to help.
"I don't need your help, thanks. I'm done for the day." Ryan said, not meeting anyone's eyes as he took off his guitar, unplugged it and put it in the case."
"Dude, what's your problem?" Brendon asked as the others just looked on.
"I don't have a problem. I'm just not in the mood to have someone tell me how to play a song that I wrote. I know how it goes." he said. He knew he was acting like a jackass, but he couldn't help it. He was furious with Brendon deep down and what he was showing now was just a preview of what he really wished he could say.
Ryan grabbed his guitar and made his exit, not looking back at any of the guys.
He felt bad doing that to Spence and Brent, but he couldn't help it.
As he walked down the street towards his house, he heard footsteps coming up behind him. Whoever was following him was walking fast, trying to catch up. He didn't want to turn around to face whoever it was, so he just kept on walking.
"Ry! Slow down." he heard Annalyse plead. He held his breath debating on whether or not to slow down.
"Ryan!" she gasped in disbelief when he quickened his pace. He felt bad, but now wasn't the time. He just wanted to be home.
He was walking up to his front door when he felt a hand on his wrist. He closed his eyes as someone twirled him around to face them.
"What is wrong with you?" Annalyse asked him, her face stern. She wasn't sure what Brendon had done to get him so upset, but then he took it out on her too and she couldn't think of anything she could have done to make him mad at her.
"Nothing." Ryan answered shortly. "I just didn't feel like being at practice today."
"So you took it out on Brendon? He didn't do anything to you." she said.
He scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"What? What did he do to you." she asked stunned at how he was acting.
"You know what he did. I'm not going to say any more because I'm not coming out looking like the asshole in this situation." he said, turning around to go in.
"What are you talking about Ryan?" Annalyse asked, utterly confused as to what he was talking about.
"Nothing, just…ugh." He sighed, resting his head on the door. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He didn't know what to say to her.
She walked up to him, turning him around to face her. When she saw the tears in his eyes, she got worried. "Ryan, please."
He shut his eyes tight, wanting it all to just be a dream. But it wasn't. This was reality. The girl he is in love with is pregnant with another guy's child. He had no clue how to even begin to deal with it.
After what seemed to be an eternity, the silence was broken by Brendon yelling for Annalyse from down the road. The two didn't break eye contact with each other. He wanted it all to be different. He wanted to go back and fix that night that he ruined everything. A part of him was jealous that she wasn't pregnant with his child, even though he knew that was a ridiculous thought.
As Brendon came closer to the two of them, Ryan let his feelings overwhelm him. He pushed himself towards Annalyse, letting his lips slightly touch her own. Annalyse was frozen. When Brendon saw what was happening, he froze too.
Ryan tried to make the most out of the kiss. He knew it would probably be the last he'd get, and possibly even the last time he'd see her. After this thought passed through his mind, he kissed her even harder. All of the pain and anguish he had been feeling was being portrayed in this one moment. He slowly pulled away from her, his eyes still closed. When he opened them, he took a deep breath and took in her stunned reaction. She looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't.
"I'm sorry." he whispered. "I messed everything up a while ago and now I'm paying for it." he said sadly, a tear rolling down his cheek.
"What do you mean?" Annalyse choked out.
"I--I know. About you…and um…and Brendon. I know what's going on." he said quietly.
Annalyse was speechless. The moment she knew would have to come sooner or later was finally here, and it was way too soon. She didn't know what to say. Maybe he was talking about something else. She could only hope.
"Congratulations I guess. You'll be a great mother." And with that, he kissed her forehead and turned around. He walked inside, closing the door without saying another word.
Annalyse stood there in shock. She collapsed, but fell into someone's arms before she could hit the ground. She felt numb. Her world was finally falling apart. She knew it couldn't stay the way it was. It was bound to come out at some point. Brendon lifted her up, helping her walk. They got to the edge of the street before she collapsed once again, this time wrapping her hands around her knees. He tried to calm her down, but nothing seemed to be working. She began to sob uncontrollably, just like she had the night she walked in on Ryan and Caitlin.
All the while Ryan stood looking out his bedroom window, wanting nothing more than to run down and wrap his arms around her and kiss her once again. But he knew that wasn't possible. Tears streamed rapidly down his face. This feeling inside of him was horrible and he just wanted to get rid of it. He pushed himself away from the window and turned his music on, trying to calm himself down. He rested his back on the wall next to the door. So many questions were filling his mind. But most of all, why did this have to happen? It was such a simple question yet one that stirred up all of the anger and frustration in his body. He turned around towards the wall clenching his fists, and without thinking pulled his fist back before slamming it forward into the drywall facing him. He did this until he couldn't stand it anymore and slumped down to the floor. He looked at his bloody knuckles and then to the broken and dented drywall. He knew he might pay for it when his father returned from the bar, but that was the least of his worries. What was the top worry on his mind is how he was going to survive without her.