You Are My Everything

Ryan hadn't gone to school for nearly two weeks.
He knew it would probably get him into trouble at some point, but he really didn't care.
He couldn't force himself to face everyone when he was this broken.
Things had never been this bad for him before.
It was almost like he was playing with fire because he was hoping someone would finally put him out of his misery.
After he destroyed the wall in his room, he told his father about it.
Ryan knew he had been drinking and knew exactly what he would do.
He got a black eye from it all and didn't even mind.
A few days later, he snuck into his father's liquor cabinet.
He drank an entire bottle of whiskey and passed out on the roof.
He just didn't know what to do with himself.
But inflicting pain on himself helps him escape from the pain he is in from not seeing Annalyse.

One day, Ryan was walking near the school.
He was hoping maybe he'd spot Anna somewhere so he'd at least be able to see how she was doing.
As he crossed the soccer fields, he spotted her sitting underneath the tree they always were at.
He didn't want her to spot him, but he continued walking toward her.
As he was getting closer, her attention broke away from the piece of paper she was focusing on and her eyes lifted up towards his own.
She didn't really believe it was him and almost looked away, but something kept her focus on him.
Ryan stopped as they stared at each other from afar.
And then Ryan snapped back to reality.
He broke their gaze and turned around, walking back the way he had come, cursing himself for being so stupid.
He heard footsteps behind him but tried to ignore them.
"Ryan." her voice got lost in the wind, but he heard her perfectly.
He stopped dead in his tracks and closed his eyes tight.
He slowly turned around to face the girl he had known for years, the one that now had a baby belly the size of a bowling ball.
He couldn't help but stare at her stomach.
He never really imagined her that way, but she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen pregnant.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here." he whispered.
"Where have you been? You should be here actually. Your dad will kill you once he finds out you're ditching." Annalyse said sadly. She glanced at his knuckles that we're still scabbed over and the remnants of a bruise on his eye. She closed her eyes tight, fighting back tears. She didn't want to know what would happen next.
"I just--I have stuff to do at home." he said, looking at his shoes.
"Brendon told me you talked to him about still doing the band?" she questioned if it were true. Ryan nodded. "But as long as I'm not there." she continued.
"It's not--it's complicated. You have to know that much." he tried to defend himself.
"i do. It just sucks." she cried. "I miss you." her whisper was barely audible. A tear streamed down her cheek. "I know I can't fix it though."
Ryan felt horrible. He hated seeing her cry. He just wanted to tell her that he didn't even care if she was pregnant. He loved her. He needed her. But he knew it wasn't that easy. What about Brendon? He had the right to be with the mother of his child. That was how it was supposed to happen, right? He couldn't come in between them.
His head was spinning, but before he could say anything, he saw Brendon making his way toward him. He didn't know what he'd say about Ryan talking to Annalyse, but he didn't want to take the chance of him being mad.
"Look, I know it sucks. But the--circumstance" he said, motioning toward her belly, "doesn't really allow a quick fix." he finished.
"We just need to give it time or something. Maybe that would help. I'm sorry." he put his hand on her shoulder.
Brendon was a few feet away now. He didn't say anything. Ryan just waved slightly. "I'll see you tomorrow?" he questioned, referring to band practice. He knew he couldn't take it out on Brendon. Sure, he made all of this happen in a way, but there was nothing that could be done about it now. So Ryan decided that he'd just put all of his focus on the band as a way of trying to forget Annalyse. Yeah, it was probably hopeless, but he had to try.
Brendon nodded, caught off guard and with that Ryan turned away. Annalyse caught Brendon's stare, but avoided it, instead gathering her stuff and heading toward the parking lot.