P.S I'm Dying,

Nearly two months later

“Ouch!” I yell as my ankle twists yet again. “Stupid, good-for-nothing heels! Sadistic invention created by a man! Gosh!”

I take a deep breath, straighten up, and take another step. This time my good ankle twists.

“Gosh-fucking-dammit!” I curse out as I land on my hands.

“Well, isn’t this a sight for sore eyes.”

I sigh and look down; from between my legs I see James and Eli staring at me. I roll my eyes and fall to the side, on my butt, and stare up at them, “Hi”

“What’re you doing in high heels, Cinderella?” James asks.

“Lady Willow wants to make sure I don’t publicly humiliate this family, and apparently it means I have to wear a dress and heels”

Eli snorts, “I find it hard to believe you’d let my mother dress you properly”

I stand up and narrow my gaze at him, “What is that supposed to mean?”

He laughs and takes a step toward me, “That you’re impossibly stubborn”

I scoff and meet his step with one of my own, “Am not”

He rolls his eyes, “Stubborn” he taunts.

I purse my lips angrily.

James clears his throat. That’s when I realize we’re nearly nose to nose. I blink and step back just as he does the same with a sheepish smile, “Um, I’ve got to be somewhere”

As he leaves, James waggles his eyebrows at me. “What was that?”

I turn the other way and continue walking, “What was what?”

He snorts, “Oh come off it, you like him”

“Do not; we’re just friends” I reply sticking my arms out to keep my balance.

James laughs, “You can’t be just friends with your future husband, Kat, stop being ridiculous, especially if you’re sleeping with him”

I snort, “I’m not sleeping with him, he’s just sleeping in my bed, and how do you know about that anyway?”

He scoffs, “We’re roommates and—“

“Isn’t Gabe going to be mad that you’re hanging out with me?” I change the subject.

He shrugs and looks at my wobbly feet, “She’s at her debutante practice”

“Hm, that sounds fun” I say facetiously.

“Hey, guess what?”

“Mm?” I breathe trying to concentrate on not falling.

“The Maine is playing” He says.

“Where?” I ask half-heartedly.

“At the ball!” James exclaims trying to elicit a response from me.

“What?!” I exclaim, looking up at James.

“THE MAINE IS PLAYING AT THE BALL!” He yells in my ear. I laugh and move my head away, “You’re joking, right? I mean you know they’re my all-time favorite band of eternity, you must be joking” I say impassively and keep walking forward.

“Really? Well, then what’s this?” He says holding up a laminated rectangle. It’s an invitation. I swipe it from his hand and hold it up so I can see it better.

The British Royal Family requests the pleasure of your company at a formal ball for the following debutantes:

Princess Beatrice Elizabeth Mary of York

Lady Gabriel Marie Worthington

Princess Eugenie Victoria Helena of York

Lady Zenouska May Mowatt

Lady Marina-Charlotte Windsor

Lady Amelia Windsor

Lady Flora Alexandra Ogilvy

Friday, the first of November, seven o’clock for Dinner & nine o’clock for the Dance. Will be held at the Royal Pavilion; black tie event. With musical performances by David Bowie, The Libertines, The Maine, and Robbie Williams. We hope to see you there.

Suddenly I scream, “OHMYGOSH!! THE MAINE IS GONNA PLAY! I’M GONNA SEE THE MAINE LIVE! AHHH!” Then I start to jump up and down excitedly. Almost as quickly my ankles twist, but James catches me before I hit the floor. As he steadies me I grin at him, “Do you know what this means?”

“I’ll take a wild guess and say you’re going to see The Maine play live?” he says patronizingly.

I’m too hyped up to care about his tone, “Not only that, but I’m going to see John O’Callaghan! Oh, he’s just so... dreamy” I sigh happily and hug the invitation to my chest, “We’ll talk, and-and he’ll realize I’m special and-and he’ll take me away to like America or something” I smile breathing deeply.

“Just one problem with that, love” James interrupts my fantasy.

“What?”

“You’re going to be married in less than two months”

I wave him away, “Pish-posh, James, if John really loves me he’ll accept all my flaws”

James stares at me incredulously, “You are delusional, love”

“John O’Callaghan doesn’t think so”

___________________________

“What a bitch, can you believe her?” Gabe exclaims as we sit in the chairs at the hair salon they completely rented out for us. I yawn widely and try to look like I agree with her. They woke me up at five in the morning! Five! How long does it take to get ready for a damn ball? Of course they let my fiancé sleep in. He’s going to get ready at the manor.

“’I’m sorry, miss, the salon is booked for important people’, God, what a whore! I mean did she not recognize me? I’m Gabriel Worthington!” She complains to me as a lady starts to comb through her long blonde hair. For some reason Gabe was being friendly to me today. Well, not exactly friendly; I guess she just hates everyone here more than she hates me.

“How do want your hair, dear?” The lady brushing my hair says.

“I- err, I mean—“

“Curl it, put it in an elegant bun, with some loose curls to frame her face, please and thank you, Jenaviv” Lady Willow suddenly shows up in the mirror in front of me. I send her a grateful smile; I mean I haven’t even seen the dress I’m supposed to wear. They just measured me and told me to pick a color.

She hands the lady a bunch of sparkly things, “Scatter those in her hair”

“Of course, Lady Worthington” and she gets right to work.

I watch Lady Willow walk over to Gabe’s hairdresser and give her instructions as well. Something about how it should be the prettiest in here or she’d put the lady out of business. Well, I sure hadn’t seen this side of Lady Willow.

I look around the salon through the mirror and find myself staring at Lady Amelia Windsor. James didn’t bother to mention that she was insanely gorgeous. She has a pretty pale complexion with bright rosy cheeks and full lips. She’s tall, thin, dirty-blonde and graceful... It wouldn’t matter so much that she’s beautiful, if she were, let’s say, a bitch. But no, Lady Amelia Windsor was perfect inside and out.

“If it wouldn’t bother you too much, ma’am, could you please straighten this bit here, I mean your technique is so beautiful, but my mother does want it to be perfect, and you know how royalty is” she laughs humbly and her hairdresser laughs with her and nods at her request.

“Yes, she’s just so perfect, isn’t she?” Gabe suddenly says.

“Apparently so” I respond sarcastically. Is she mocking me?

“I never really liked her, actually; mum always compared me to her.”

“You don’t like me either” I point out wearily.

She rolls her eyes, “I don’t like anyone, Kat, in case you haven’t noticed. I’m a hateful bitch, but at least my mum doesn’t feel ashamed of me when you’re around; I think you’re the best thing that has happened to me, actually”

I snort, “How have you come to that conclusion?”

Her sneer melts into a grim smile, “For the first time in a long time my mother isn’t concentrating on making me something I’m not; well, except for today. And my father is too busy trying to get you and Eli to fall in love to even glance at me, let alone criticize me anymore.” Then she scoffs, “Granted, James seems to find you interesting and I don’t appreciate that, but what can I do? He’s a pig; I can’t take him out anywhere”

I smile, “You may find this hard to believe, but James and I are just friends. Actually, I’ve never had a friend before him, besides my mom. And I’d never take him away from you, Gabe” I say sincerely.

She stays quiet for a moment and all I hear are the other debutantes and their parents chatting animatedly. The feeling of some person actually taking their time to shape my hair into something completely different is actually over-whelming. I feel like a... princess.

“We can be friends” Gabe suddenly says quietly.

I blink, shocked for a second, then look at her through the mirror. She’s looking straight at her mirror with a poker face, “I mean, since we’re going to be sisters, I-I think—“

“Sure!” I smile widely. She breathes out relieved and I have a feeling Gabe doesn’t have many friends either.

“But if you make a move on James, I will murder you” She warns.

I laugh.

“I’m serious”

“I know”

_________________________

“Can I have a word with you, Katherine?” Miss Willow asks as we exit the limos. The debutantes are immediately escorted inside the magnificent palace with security guards. Gabe shoots me a warning look but follows them reluctantly.

“Um, sure” I say uncomfortably. They managed to fit me into an extremely tight black, corset-top, strapless dress. It made me feel completely awkward, especially with the foot-long silver heels Lady Willow put on my feet. The only thing I liked about it was the simple look of it:

Its subtle blue hue brought out the blue in my hair and highlighted my bright blue eyes.

“Katherine, I’m going to have an escort lead you inside to where dinner is being held, while I go help out the debutantes.”

I nod, “Okay”

Then she looks down a bit sheepish, “I’m sorry I hadn’t told you this sooner, but Elijah is going to be Lady Amelia’s escort tonight. I mean, we had this planned for nearly a year now and—“

“N-no, it’s okay, Lady Willow, I completely understand” I smile weakly.

She looks at me with remorse, “Thank you, Katherine, and if you wouldn’t mind, can you keep the engagement a secret? Lord Worthington and I want to introduce you to our friends before we spring the engagement on them. Get them to love you so it won’t cause too much of a... scene. So for now you’re a close friend of the family.”

I nod like I totally agree even though I’m hurt on the inside. “Yeah, totally”

She turns to follow the debutantes, but pauses to look at me for a second, “And, please try to...” but she shakes her head and keeps going.

“Not be me” I answer quietly as she disappears inside the building.

_____________________

“Hey, Kat!” I turn and find Idgie hand in hand with one of the servants from the manor. I think her name is Claire. She’s in a pretty dress and has jewelry and everything; I guess Lady Willow didn’t want anything to go wrong.

I smile widely, “Hey, kiddo!” Idgie looks beautiful tonight, in a little girl dress that is still extremely elegant. Its green; her favorite color.

She lets go of Claire’s hand and jumps straight into my lap. I groan but hug her close to me. At the moment I’m seated at the Worthington’s reserved table. No one’s here yet; the guests haven’t arrived yet since it’s an hour early, and the debutantes are taking pictures in another room.

Claire wordlessly takes a seat next to me and takes a long swig of the champagne in her hand. I try not to look at her too much; she makes me nervous.

I talk to Idgie animatedly until the guests arrive. She has surprising insight for a six year old. “Why don’t you like my brother?”

I laugh, “Of course I do, he’s my...” I whisper, “Fiancé”

She looks at me reproachfully, “Yes, but you don’t act like you like him. You act like he’s a monster that’s going to eat you”

I chuckle, “Well, Idgie, don’t tell anybody, but I’m afraid to like your brother. What if he doesn’t like me back?” I ask childishly. She plays with a lock of my hair, “Kat, who doesn’t like you?”

I smile.

“Hello, Katherine” Lord Worthington says as he takes a seat at the front of the table. I nod a hello at him and at Lady Willow who joins him.

“Welcome, James, Julia” Lord Worthington says as a married couple shows up. They take the seats to Lady Worthington’s immediate left.

“Good evening, Lord Worthington, Lady Worthington” they respond.

Lady Willow shoots me a look and I immediately move Idgie to sit on the seat next to me. Then she smiles at them, “I do not believe you’ve met our youngest daughter, Imogene”

They look at Idgie and smile at her. She flaunts her cuteness by smiling back, “Oh, what a doll” the lady says, then her eyes flicker to me, “And who might you be, dear?”

I open my mouth to answer, but Lady Willow interrupts me, “Katherine Night, she’s a close family friend visiting from Switzerland.” Then she looks at me, “Katherine, this is Mr. and Mrs. Ogilvy; Flora Ogilvy’s parents.”

I smile warmly as if I know exactly who that is, “It’s very nice to meet you both” I say politely. Mr. and Mrs. Ogilvy smile back, “Yes it is, dear, can you tell us how Switzerland is? I, myself, haven’t been.”

After that I launch into a descriptive tale of my native country. Surprisingly I am not nervous, and when more people show up at our table I include them in my conversation.

The Earl and Countess of St Andrews, George and Sylvana Windsor, laugh at my small joke about how everybody pictures Switzerland to be a ‘cheesy’ country, when actually I don’t quite like cheese.

“She’s charming, Lady Willow, wherever did you find her?” the Countess says.

Lady Willow looks at me most approvingly, but before she can respond, the debutantes enter the dining room. As customary (according to Lady Willow) they come in with their escorts (boyfriends, brothers, or cousins), and are announced by the main host: Prince Andrew, Duke of York.

The debutantes are in the order there names were in the invitation.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, esteemed family and friends, please welcome the beautiful Debutantes and their escorts for this evening: Her Royal Highness, Princess Beatrice Elizabeth Mary of York escorted by Columbus Taylor. She is twenty-three years old and the daughter of Prince Andrew and Sarah, Duke and Duchess of York, which would be my wife and I.

“Lady Gabriel Marie Worthington escorted by James Dizario. She is twenty-three years old and the daughter of Lord and Lady Worthington.

“Her Royal Highness, Princess Eugenie Victoria Helena of York escorted by Cassius Taylor. She is twenty-one and the daughter of Prince Andrew and Sarah, Duke and Duchess of York, which would be my wife and I.

“Lady Zenouska May Mowatt escorted by her brother Christian Alexander Mowatt. She is twenty-one and the daughter of Marina Ogilvy, granddaughter of Princess Alexandra and the late Sir Angus.

“Lady Marina-Charlotte Windsor escorted by her brother Edward Windsor, Lord Downpatrick. She is nineteen and the daughter of the Earl and Countess of St Andrews, George and Sylvana Windsor.

“Lady Amelia Windsor escorted by Elijah Worthington IV. She is seventeen and the daughter of the Earl and Countess of St Andrews, George and Sylvana Windsor.

“Lady Flora Alexandra Ogilvy escorted by her brother Alexander Ogilvy. She is seventeen and the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Ogilvy, granddaughter of Princess Alexandra and the late Sir Angus”

Everybody claps and cranes to see the debutantes as they walk down the middle of the great dining room, to where their families are seated. They all look so beautiful. Even James looks well groomed and handsome. Although I don’t want them to, my eyes stay stuck on Lady Amelia and Eli. They’ve got their arms hooked and are headed straight for our table right behind Gabe and James.

I gulp as his eyes skip over me to his family. He looks so wonderful. They’ve even managed to coax him into jelling his hair back so you can see his beautiful violet eyes.

Everybody at the table stands as they arrive at our table. The debutantes receive a ton of kisses and hugs and compliments. Surprisingly Gabe responds politely and smiles through it all. Then they all sit down. To my great dismay Eli ends up on my left.

I manage to not look at him and strike up a conversation with James who happens to have sat straight in front of me.

“When’s the food going to get here, I’m starved” He complains and scratches his chin lazily.

“It’s nearly eight, I’m assuming in a few minutes” I respond trying to ignore the chills I’m getting from sitting so close to Eli.

Then Prince Andrew clears his throat on the microphone. We all look at him, “I’d just like to say a few words to these beautiful young ladies...”

He went on to say something that I didn’t understand one bit. I’m too busy staring as Eli whispers something in Lady Amelia’s ear. She giggles and holds her napkin to her lips to quiet her laughs.

Her parents look at her reproachfully, while I try not to look like I might kill her.