P.S I'm Dying,

“I WON’T! I WON’T!” I hear the little girl scream from the hallway. I shut off the brand new lap top they bought me last month to stay in touch with old friends (as if), and hurry out my room in time for Imogene Worthington to bump into me.

A maid appears from the staircase; she looks winded and quite mad, with a dress in one hand and a comb in the other. “That is it! I quit!” She yells and throws what she has over the stair railing. I hear it fall all the way from the third floor to the first. Poor comb. Poor dress; they could’ve had a family, y’know.

“Good luck taming that one” she says to me and turns on her heal, disappearing down the stairs.

I look down at the little girl, who is about half my size, but looks absolutely vicious, “What’s wrong?” I ask her.

She crosses her arms across her chest, “I won’t get dressed! I won’t!”

“Okay then, Imogene, but—“

“Idgie” she corrects.

“Well, Idgie, I’m Kat and I’m not going to make you get dressed; in fact you can stay in your pajamas all day, okay?”

She looks up at me with bright eyes, “Really?”

I nod and take a seat against the closed door of my room, “Definitely, I mean, who do those people think they are? I bet they wanted to bathe you, right?”

“Mhm”

“And harshly comb your hair”

“Yes, they do that every day!”

“And—“, I gasp, “—they probably wanted to dress you in a... dress”

She nods frightfully, looking down at me, “But you won’t do that to me, right, Kat?”

I smile, “Of course not. I mean the only reason they do all that stuff to you is because they think you can’t do it by yourself.”

Idgie huffs, “But I can!”

I frown, “I know you can, but I don’t think they believe you...”

“I’ll show them!” she says vehemently and runs away from me, headed for the bathroom as far as I can see.

I smile. I like Idgie; she reminds me of this caterpillar I once had; before I accidently squished it, of course.

“Well, well, well” says a voice to the left of me. I turn and find Elijah Worthington standing there.

“What?” I ask impulsively.

“You just manipulated my sister into taking a bath”

I stick my tongue out at him, “I did not. I used reverse psychology”

He laughs, “Fine I’ll give you that one”. He takes a seat in front of me, against the stair railing. His presence feels weird to me; like a live wire just ready to shock me.

“I haven’t seen you in a while” I say quietly, trying not to blush. I keep thinking about the stupid kiss.

“I’ve been sick for a couple of weeks, I just got better today” he says earnestly.

I look up at him in surprise, “Really? Me too”

At first I had thought the disease had come back to kill me, but apparently not. Actually I feel better than I’ve ever had, for some reason.

He raises his eyebrows, “Strange, maybe we’re allergic to each other?”

I roll my eyes as he smirks.

“Well, I guess I didn’t properly introduce myself; I’m Eli”

“Kat” I respond automatically sensing he’s not done.

He runs his fingers through his black hair and sighs, “Look about this whole predicament; I’m sorry my father dragged you from wherever it is you’re from—“

“Switzerland” I correct him.

He looks at me curiously for a second, “Switzerland, then. But anyway; I refuse to get married...” he says slowly as if he’s avoiding hurting my feelings, which is dumb; I don’t want to get married either. “I mean I barely know you, for one thing—“

“Didn’t stop you from kissing me” I suddenly say with sarcasm. I mean he’s acting like he’s the only one affected by this.

Eli’s mouth closes tightly. He’s quiet for a second, “Yes, I must beg your pardon for that. I have no idea what came over me—“

But I interrupt him again, “Oh I see, so you kiss random strangers, but you won’t give your fiancée a chance?”

”Look, I would never marry you if it were up to me” he says in a rush to beat me.

My eyes widen in surprise.

He seems to realize what he said, “Oh, jeez, that came out wrong, I didn’t—“

I get up quickly and glare down at him. ”You’re so self-absorbed! Not everything is about you, y’know; how would you feel if your mother mailed you off to England to meet your new fiancée and then some random girl kisses you and turns out to be said fiancée and she’s all, like, ‘I don’t like you, but my dad wants me to marry you… But I don’t like you, just so we’re clear’?” I say bitterly.

Eli’s face is solemn. He stands up, dusts himself off, and simply replies, “I never said I didn’t like you” then he turns on his heal and disappears down a hall way.

I sigh angrily, “What is that supposed to mean?”

___________________

Lady Worthington would like to invite Miss Katherine Night to Tea and Brunch at one o' clock this afternoon in the garden by the gate.

I squint at the small piece of paper in front of me. “Tea and brunch?” I say out loud to myself. Then I look at the clock. It’s nearly two.

Well, I was never famous for being punctual.

I sigh, it seems that’s all I’ve been doing these days; I heard somewhere that every breath you take, slowly kills you. Dun-dun-dun.

As I make my way to the garden (reluctantly, of course), I bump into Gabe and James. They’re making out on the stairs. I clear my throat, “Can you move?”

Gabe looks up at me with a grimace, “Can you leave?”

James smirks and lies against the railing giving me space to pass. Gabe turns back to glare at him, but I’m already half-past. I turn back to thank James as she starts to tell him off, but he just winks at me, which in turn infuriates her “James! You fascist asshole! Who do you—“

I hold back a laugh; I’m really beginning to like James. He’s the only easy-going person here.

As I step out of the house, Idgie jumps out of nowhere to hug me. She’s wearing a Spiderman costume and her long hair has been unevenly sheared off. “Kat! I dressed and groomed myself!”

Well that explains it, “Good job; I don’t suppose your mom has seen you?”

She smiles radiantly at me, “No, mummy’s been in the garden all day! I think she’s waiting for you, actually, good bye!”

I wave as she runs off to some other part of the house. My gosh; I love her spirit.

As I make my way through the back yard, to the garden, I begin to wonder if being here is such a bad thing. I mean my fiancé sucks, Lord Worthington is too strict, and Gabe is a Bee with an itch, but I think it’s kind of nice in a way.

I spot Lady Worthington sitting at a small table with servants holding up umbrellas and dishes waiting to be served. I never noticed before, but she isn’t that old; maybe around thirty. She’s got beautiful long blonde hair piled atop her head, and pale white skin. Her eyes are bright green emeralds and she holds herself gracefully. At the moment she’s wearing a long gown with a corset top. I try not to look at my plain grey sweat pants and spaghetti-strapped black shirt.

“Good afternoon, Katherine” She says to me with a smile as I take my seat.

“Good afternoon, Lady Worthington” I say politely, for some reason I don’t think I can be rude to Lady Worthington.

She laughs quietly, “M’dear, please call me Lady Willow, we are practically family after all” she smiles warmly.

I smile, “Sure”

She queues for the servants to serve us. They lay down enough napkins, cups, and dishes to feed the Russian army sleeping in my bed (sarcasm), but plate small cucumber sandwiches and bitter looking tea.

I poor all the sugar I can into my cup before Lady Willow notices, and then I stir it vehemently.

She takes a small sip, with her white-gloved pinky standing straight up, and clears her throat, “You see, Katherine, I invited you here so we can discuss this whole arrangement. Although Elijah may not be my flesh and blood, I’ve come to think of him as such, that is why I’d like to help. I believe you will be a beautiful bride one day, Katherine, but right now you are a diamond in the rough, in a manner of speaking”

“You’re going to polish me?” I ask in bewilderment.

Lady Willow gives a small laugh, “Not in the way you’re thinking, I’m sure, but metaphorically; yes. I will teach you everything I know about being a Lady, how does that sound?”

“Um, okay?” I say unsure. I don’t want to offend her but I don’t want to be a Lady, and anyhow, Eli said he doesn’t want to marry me, so I don’t see the point.

It must be a reputation thing.

____________________________

“What’s up?” James asks with a smirk as I pass by him on my way to my room.

“Har-har” I say sarcastically. Lady Willow’s first lesson was poise; she stacked three books on top of my head and told me to walk around the house until I perfected the task.

He laughs just for the sake of laughing, I’m sure, and steps in front of me suddenly, making the books fall.

I glare at him as I pick up the books, “What was that for?”

He’s suddenly serious, “Look, Kat, I’ve grown fond of you and by the way you look at Eli, love, I’m positive you’ve got feelings for him”

“I do not—“

He laughs, “Deny all you want, gorgeous, it doesn’t matter to me. I just want to warn you”

“About what?” I ask bitterly.

“Eli won’t love you back” James replies simply.

I roll my eyes at him, “Yeah, I know, he told me that, too. Gosh, if this were about love none of us would be in this situation.”

He smiles, “Your pessimism gives me chills, love, I assure you, but on the off chance that you may, hypothetically of course, consider liking your fiancé, well don’t”

I roll my eyes and tap my fingers impatiently on the heavy books, “Why?”

“You’re wonderful and all, love, but his heart belongs to someone else at the moment”

My eyes widen in surprise; I wasn’t expecting him to say that, “What?”

“Her name is Lady Amelia Windsor; she’s 29th in line for the thrown... They were engaged”

I blink at him, “Well, if she was such a great catch, why me?” I start to whine again. I mean I was just starting to accept this new life and now I feel like they don’t even want me here.

James shrugs, which infuriates me; no wonder Gabe is always yelling. “I don’t really know; those two were inseparable for as long as I’ve known them. But one day Eli just gets sick, outa the blue, you know, and it’s horrible, he’s coughing up blood and everything.”

“What happened?”

He shrugs again, “Miraculously improved, I guess. I don’t know; I didn’t go to medical school. But anyways; Lord Worthington just cancels the wedding. Eli argues and yells for weeks, but he doesn’t budge. Finally things quiet down and get back to normal, then Bam! Lord Worthington ships Eli off to America for no reason. I think that’s when he told him about you; and by the time he got back you were already here, so—“

“So he didn’t wanna be a jackass, and kept his mouth shut to spare my feelings” I fill in the sentence.

James smirks, “Good job, love, you’re probably the brightest crayon I’ve ever met” he winks at me and taps his head.

I can’t help but smile; James is contagious.

Without knowing what I’m doing, I drop my books and wrap my arms around James’s abdomen; he’s rather tall so his arms have to reach down to wrap themselves around my shoulders. “Thanks for trying to help... and everything else. You might not be so bad, after all”

He chuckles, “I do try my best”

I laugh, too, until the moment is broken by a shrill scream, “James! What are you doing?!”

I step back so quickly that I trip over the books I’d dropped. I look up to see Gabe with her arms crossed over her chest. “What is this??”

“I-uh, was just thanking James—“

“I’ll kill you!!” She shrieks and lunges herself at me. I scream as well and crawl backwards as fast as I can, while James hurriedly grabs Gabe around her waist and holds her back.

“Don’t touch me!!” She screams at James, “We’re over! Through! I’m tired of you whoring around my back, James!”

I gulp, claw my way behind a wall, and then stand up and run. I run until I can’t here Gabe’s screams. I run until I can’t here James’ groans of pain. I run until I run smack into Eli. He reaches forward and grabs my arms reflexively to keep me from falling.

I’m panting hard, “I- He- G-!” I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. My heart is pounding so fast; the adrenaline rushing all over my system; like I ran a marathon, instead of just a few yards.

His eyes widen, “Calm down; what’s wrong?” He asks concerned.

“I- He- G-!” I repeat totally winded and I start to cough dryly.

He pulls me by the arms to the floor and lies me against the wall, “Okay, breathe” he says as he sits in front of me and watches me cautiously.

And then I start to cry.

Now he looks really alarmed. “Hey, what happened? Talk to me, please! Have you gone into shock?”

I brush the tears away and manage to sob out, “It’s my entire fault! Gabe broke up with James because of me!”

The concern lessens in his face and I feel like smacking him. I just ruined somebody’s relationship!

“How’s it your fault?”

“W-well I don’t know. I was j-just hugging James and—“

“Hold on” he says suddenly angry, “Why in the world were you hugging James??”

“I, w-well” I can’t tell him what James told me. It would just be degrading, “Um, he said I had nice... teeth. And I just felt the need to thank him”

“With physical contact?” Eli says incredulously as I wipe away the last of my tears.

“Well, yeah, I guess. What does it matter? I’m a home wrecker!”

At that he laughs, “You’re not a home wrecker, Kat, Gabe constantly dumps James. They’re usually back together within the hour; I think it’s what secretly keeps their passion going”

My eyes widen happily, “So-so I didn’t ruin their relationship??”

He shakes his head curiously.

I smile brightly. I’m not a home wrecker!

“Why are you so happy?”

“Well, James and Gabe are a great couple, it would be horrible to break them up”

Eli furrows his eye brows, “Um, are you blind, deaf, or mental?”

“Only the last one, I hope” I say sarcastically.

“No, seriously, how can you possibly say that about Gabe and James? All they do is make out or fight. What’s so great about that?”

I suddenly feel self-conscience, “Well, the way James is around Gabe; he smiles no matter what she’s saying or doing; it’s easy to tell that he really loves her. And Gabe; well, she’s just so mean, but only because she’s afraid of losing James, I can tell. I mean, they have problems, but I know they love each other” I say quietly, but with feeling.

Eli stares at me for a minute, before I feel the need to leave. I stand up, “Well, I’ve got to go... eat broccoli,” I blurt out and head for my room.

“Hey, Kat?”

“Yeah?” I turn back. He’s still in the same position, but facing me.

“I’ll see you at Dinner, okay?”

“Um, yeah, sure” I reply. I want to feel like this is progress, but I just can’t forget what James told me. I’m just Lord Worthington’s last resort, and a whore, I mean, chore for Eli.