Teardrops on My Guitar

People often say they fell in love with their best friend and that they married their best friend. For me, that's not true. Sure, I fell in love with him, but I wasn't the one marrying him.

I looked down at my dress and tried to hold back the tears for the umpteenth time. Today was a day I was dreading, standing up with Marc and his bride as they got married. I didn't want to be there, but Marc was my best friend and Lindsay had asked me to be a bridesmaid. I couldn't hurt Marc by turning it down because he wanted his 'favorite two girls' up there with him today.

Let me start from the beginning. Marc and I have been friends since elementary school and we did everything together. As we got older we became closer and closer and when Marc got drafted, I was right there with him and his family celebrating, but on the inside I was falling apart. I was losing my best friend. So once it was time for me to start applying for colleges I instantly chose NYU. Mom and dad thought it was a bad idea to pick a school sorely on Marc's whereabouts, but I didn't. I wanted to be in the same city as my best friend again. Phone calls, emails, visits, and Skype just weren't working for me. Especially when I realized I had feelings for him.

Once I got settled at the University and met up with Marc it was like we hadn't been separated for years, we were back to our normal selves. He showed my around the city as we caught up on things that we didn't talk about the days before on the phone. As we were walking, I noticed he kept mentioning someone named Lindsay. He's mentioned her before, but seeing him mention her caused my heart to break. He had a huge smile on his face every time her name crossed his lips. He was in love, he didn't have to tell me. Years of being friends told me that.

School started for me and soon after Marc's season started and we didn't get to see each other much, but we still kept in touch. One night after a long week of school, I went out with a couple of the girls from my dorm and managed to get myself into some trouble. I called Marc and he came to my rescue like he always did growing up. He took me back to his place for the night and looking back that was the night my heart broke even more. Using the alcohol in my system as an excuse, I kissed Marc. I was just as surprised as he was, but what came next surprised me even more though it shouldn't have. He told me about Lindsay and what she really meant to him. As soon as the words 'I love her' passed his lips, I took off. I didn't care that it was two in the morning or the fact that my dorm was across the city, all I cared about was my broken heart.

After that night, I made sure to act as normal as possible around Marc as I could. It was hard though because he had no idea how he affected me with just his presence. He would simply call me and my heart rate would spike. If I hugged him, my heart would skip a beat and I'd stop breathing all together. He was slowly killing me without even knowing it.

Eventually I met Lindsay and as I watched them interact with one another or hear how much Marc loved her, my heart broke me. I always wished that I was in her shoes, being the love of Marc's life. I couldn't hate her though, as much as I wanted to, I wouldn 't do that to Marc. He really cared about her and if I loved him like I know I do, I couldn't hate her.

Since Marc had no clue how I felt about him, he had no idea how standing in front of his family and our friends, watching him marry someone else killed me. He didn't know that I spent an entire hour before coming to the church crying my eyes out because I would never get to be with him.

Once the ceramony was over and I stayed at the reception long enough to be acceptable, I found myself en a local bar, in my bridesmaid dress, setting up for open mic night. What better way to vent your feelings then through song? I took my hair out of the painful bun, Linda had done my hair in and let my curly hair fall to my shoulders.

I looked out at the crowd and took a deep breath. I knew they were whispering about my attire, but I could care less. "How many of you have ever fallen in love with someone who didn't share those same feelings?" I watched as the majority of the patrons in the bar raised their hands. With a nod, I continued. "How many of you fell in love with your best friend?" Slowly hands fell, but still a large amount remained in the air. "Well, I've been there too and this song is about those feelings."

I adjusted my guitar strap before beginning the song. I closed my eyes as I strummed the opening notes.

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without

Tears begin to fill my eyes as I picture the smile on Marc's face as he tells me about how he and Lindsay met.

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

As I continued to sing, I couldn't help but smile as I thought about all the times Marc would point out the amount of guys checking me out. The guys I never saw because I was too busy looking at him.

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

I take a deep breath and try not to let the sob building in my chest escape.

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see

I hold out the last note and open my eyes. The tears that I've been holding back slip down my cheeks and land on my guitar. I laugh silently to myself at the irony of that. As the crowd claps I slip of the stool and put my guitar away and head home. As I'm walking home a white limo with Just Married written on the back drives by, but slows down. The back window rolls down and there is Marc with he beautiful bride. I plaster the fakest smile on my face and smile and wave at the newlyweds. He can never know about my feelings.