Metamorphosis

Ivy's visits to Anne began at a minimal two times a week, usually falling on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This was an official un-official schedule that both women agreed to abide by. This worked out so well and the two enjoyed the others company enough to add another two days, Monday and Saturday. Ivy was more than happy for this change; her days off were spent at home watching television while her father and brother frolicked around in the real world. The only world Ivy knows now is the one being shown to her by the media. The evening news, reality shows...you name it and her brain has already eaten it up. She has gained a considerable amount of weight in the past four months that her denim jeans barely made it beyond her thighs, another reason why she remains a home body. She has no job to pay for new clothes and the thought of going to a public mecca like the mall makes her insides curl. She used to love going out and social mingling more than anything else and now that life had died and she told herself that she did not miss it. That she is much better off staying indoors where she can not start trouble and ruin people's lives.
She has done enough of that already.

Ivy is grateful that she has found an unlikely friendship in a woman much older, experienced, and wise while remaining enjoyable and down to Earth. Granted, she is walking on eggshells by doing so for many reasons, but she can not deny the smile that grew on her lips every time she approaches Anne's door and steps inside the modest apartment. It feels more like home than her own with framed pictures of landscapes painting the walls, a record player in the corner by the dining table Ivy loves so much, and the permanent scent of musky vanilla hanging in the air. She can not believe that she was so comfortable so quickly, yet here she is again on a dreary Tuesday morning with a fresh cup of coffee in her hand as he eyes view the television. Anne is in her recliner on the left, concentrating on her new found hobby.

"Since when did you start knitting?"
Ivy asks with shocked amusement. The other woman groans without giving a glance, staying focused on her needles and thread.

"Been about two weeks now."

"Hmm, I can't believe I didn't notice it before," Ivy trails off.

Anne snorts, "That's because I've only been doing it one the days you're not here. I didn't want you to think I'm just another boring, bat shit old lady."

"I don't think you're boring, but you're definitely bat shit."

Anne laughs so hard that no noise can be heard, her face compressing in delighted anguish as she leans forward from the force. This sends Ivy into her own fits, and the two beaming.

"You won't be saying that when I'm finished with you new beanie."

Ivy's laughter halts, her eyes widening in amazement when Anne puts the needles down on the coffee table to show a white winter hat halfway complete.There is a sloppy cowlick on top where the thick yarn comes together, then it flows down in wavy streams, waiting to coalesce. No one has ever made Ivy clothing before. She cannot even recall anyone making her anything outside of dinner. How much time, effort, and spells of frustration have gone into that small piece of work? The girl had never put herself through such tedious labor for anyone because she never saw the point, and sure as hell not the reward. If there was not an immediate benefit in sight she would not bother. Now on the opposite end of the spectrum she was nothing less of thankful, flattered, and speechless.

"Why me?"
Ivy asks, flustered.

"So I won't have to hear you bitching about how cold it's gonna get when winter starts rolling in."

This statement is one of many exchanged between the two, of the same nature, to shield their feelings of affection. Ivy has always been this way and finding this emotional mechanism in someone else gave her comfort. All the people who have walked in and out of her life to find it as a positive character trait were deemed as friends but that well always seemed to run dry. Those friends grew out of it and moved onto a world where they did not feel the need to hid their emotions. Ivy was in purgatory, waiting to cross over, alone. Although this though is daunting, she smiles knowing there is one more. Just one more friend to get her by even if it is not long before Anne moves along too. Ivy will live day by day.

"Can you get that dear?" Anne requests, nodding towards her front door. Ivy has spaced out as someone on the other side has been knocking patiently on the wooden door. She takes five steps to unlock and open it, and there stands Anne's daughter and granddaughter, Julia and Elissa. They give Ivy a warm smile, and she moves to the side to let them in. Julia bows her head shortly and walks over to her mother Anne.

When the older woman discovers her daughter's presence in her apartment she grins brightly and says, "Oh Julia, what a pleasant surprise!" And puts her project back on the table for a hug, which Julia gladly accepts.

Elissa is still at the foot of the door, looking skeptical. Ivy quirks an eyebrow and opens her mouth to speak but Elissa beats her to it by whispering, "How is she today?"

Ivy looks back at the two women hugging.
"Well...good. Look at the way she's smiling."

Elissa bites her lip, analyzing their interactions to find something, anything, that makes her feel the least bit positive, but her eyes drain of all light. She sees nothing but her deteriorating grandmother coming apart in front of her with nothing left to look forward to and there was nothing her or her granddaughter could do about it. Elissa sighed, stepping inside the living space and darting to the bedroom, keeping her sights away from her immediate family members. They did not notice.

Ivy, starting to become terribly uncomfortable with confusion, follows after the distraught girl. When she spots Elissa again, she is pacing the length of the bare room that only held a bed, nightstand, and burgundy rug. Ivy always found it to be an enigma of Anne's living; she considers her to be a very colorful individual but the room stated otherwise. She soon wanted to try to help out in breathing life into it, but right now, Ivy had to try to assist Elissa with hers. Closing the door gently as to not disturb anyone, she then stands planted, debating whether or not it was an acceptable moment to touch or comfort her in any way.

Elissa runs her hands through her curly brunette locks as she asks, "Has she said anything about me at all?"

Ivy relaxes in the midst of conversation and takes a seat on the twin-sized bed, shrugging,
"No, but that doesn't mean that she won't soon."

Elissa sighs hopelessly, slowly shrinking next to her with her head in her hands. Ivy was still; she was never an expert in soothing other, let alone an apprentice. Though she was changed from the girl she was, she still told whoever was looking for comfort in her direction the truth. She never believed in lying in order to make someone feel better because that was all she had been exposed to her entire life. She absolutely hated it, and even though hearing the realities brought pain at least they were real.
No bullshit.
No fantasy.

While remaining socially lost, she shows her courage by placing a gentile hand on Elissa's shoulder who spills, "She's getting worse, isn't she?"

Ivy's lips part for a moment to say something, but they only mend together again. Without speaking she could communicate. Sometimes it is better that way. Actions speak louder than words, and Elissa was talking enough for the both of them. If there is one lesson Ivy has learned in past year it is that she cannot open her mouth every time a thought flutters across her mind. That is how people get hurt, and Elissa could not handle anymore of it. Between her grandmother, and Josh, along with a slew of other family and personal issues, the girl was becoming an active volcano waiting for an eruption. Ivy did not want to cause anymore problems due to loose lips.

Elissa exhaled sharply and said miserably,
"Soon my mom will realize it too."

"That's just what happens when you get older. People change, whether they want to or not."

"She doesn't deserve this though. Why her?"

Again, Ivy is left speechless, when Elissa needs her to speak through more than body language. She wants so desperately for Ivy to give her an answer, insight, or a personal anecdote, but Ivy has nothing. No bullshit. No fantasy.

Elissa is being left to stare down a dark corridor devoid of solutions, and she is alone, She cannot fix this. As she experiences her own mind crumbling into worthless pieces, the tears starting to drip out of her eyes. She is going through too much turmoil for a 22-yr-old to handle and she wants it all to end and rewind back to easier days when her grandmother and Josh had not yet stepped out of her life. Her body begins to shake with sobs, hunched over as she sits on the bed Anne sleeps on every night. The bed that Anne will eventually not wake up on. Her face contorts into suffering and she hides it from Ivy even though she is loud with her cries. Broken.

"She's still happy though. Still being a talkative, grumpy woman who doesn't take shit from anyone. That's gotta count for something," then Ivy rubs her back with a slight chuckle.

She is doing it again, lifting the weight of someones pain and emotional show-and-tell through soft humor so that she can feel more comfortable. She wants to get out of the room with Elissa because the air was too dense to breathe in. There is nothing positive. It is the unhinging of Elissa's reality as she knows it. Neither of them can fix the events that are taking place around them so the only way to escape for Ivy is to degrade it to mean almost nothing. To introduce comedy to the equation. Everyone has done it, and for good reason: it works half of the time.

But to Ivy's disappointment, Elissa wipes the snot from her nose and shakes her head ferociously. "No, it won't be long before that's gone too. Soon she'll be a vegetable and there's no way to stop it."

The lost Ivy sighs and she deals out more honesty.
"That's just the circle of life, I guess. Everyone ages and become something else. It happens to all of us in a way. I've never had to deal with this before, so I can't offer you anything. But I'm here for you and your family whenever you need me."

She could not help the rising levels of frustration inside her; Elissa was not making it easy. Ivy had used every tactic and, coming from someone who used to regularly persuade others into doing or feeling whatever she wanted them to do or feel, this is quite the feat. There were numerous occasions where she could do this with Elissa, but those days were in the past. They had both changed and either she had hardened or Ivy lost her touch (what she used to call her "talent" or "gift") along the way.

Elissa laughs dryly,
"Josh promised the same thing and look how that turned out."

"I'm not Josh," Ivy asserted, feeling highly offended.

"No, you used to be much worse," the other girl stated with a small smile appearing on the right side of her mouth. "But it looks like the tables have turned."

'At least she's smiling a bit,' Ivy thought, but now her conscience is taking her to darker, sadder realms she wanted so desperately to steer clear from. Josh.
Elissa was right, the tables have definitely turned, and Josh was the unlucky one. Throughout the last chapter of their history, he had become stone hearted while Ivy was beginning to polish her heart of gold she never knew existed. At least she last saw him. He was going down a mental hill and, in very unlikely Josh fashion, he had not brought anyone down with him. Instead he was touring with his band to places like Germany, France, and Ireland. He was concentrating on his career while his family was left behind to deal with their issues. Ivy knew what drove him away; she had a better idea than his parents and sister, but she did not want to tell them because it was halfway her fault. His absence is driving her insane, truthfully. The two had been friends for most of their short lives and she felt the missing piece, all due to the stupid mistakes made along the way by both of them. She was willing to forgive and forget, and hold her arms out for a uniting embrace.

Josh, however, was not so keen on such an ending.
He spat the worst things at Ivy during their last encounter and still seems to stay true to every last word.

She knew deep inside that she deserved it all and even more, but for him to leave England when his family needed him the most infuriated her. They had done nothing but support and care for him, then when the favor needed to be returned he abandoned them. All because he was too cowardly and angry over the wrong things. The most pointless things that others would bite the bullet for and manage to accept. The old Josh would have been able to do this without so much as a bead of sweat rolling down his face. The new one who puts on a mask of strength is actually a scared boy on the other side.

"You know, even though he's on the same boat as me doesn't mean he can just take off and leave me to fucking sink. He should be telling me what you're saying. I swear, if anyone hasn't grown up it's him." Elissa spits, her eyes rolling up into her skull and back while Ivy nods in agreement.

Anne and Julia have been out in the living room for a little over ten minutes, and Ivy wants to go out there now to tone down any suspicion. She does not want Julia to figure out what was being said in the small bedroom; Elissa's confessions were to be kept between the two of them until she invited others to hear.

As though she can make out Ivy's fears, she cleans herself up quickly with the sleeve of her navy cardigan, removing all the evidence of her sorrow. She starts to smile to complete her disguise and Ivy stares in hidden fascination. Did she, in the past, play her own illusions off as well? If so it was for more devious motives, but never Elissa. She did it to protect the ones she loved a selfless act as to not rain on their parade. Ivy had never been that generous. If she was upset the entire planet knew about it and when she pretended it was to get what she wanted. Her needs and desires were top priority, and she cringes at her previous, disgusting mentality. She is no longer like that, and she can evolve even more by spending more time around Elissa.

She starts smiling and rises from the bed, taking a step towards the door then looking back at the strong girl behind her. Elissa adjusts her appearance more before nodding and following.

In the living room, Anne and Julia are talking with elated voices with pauses of laughter in between as Anne continues knitting. Ivy and Elissa cautiously sneak in, not wanting to disturb this pristine aura of happiness. They make it past the kitchen and halfway to the dining table when Julia turns away from the conversation with her mother and sees Elissa's flared cheeks stained by tears, and her pleasant expression drops.

Maternal instincts are always dead on.
As though she could smell it in the air, or she could have heard the sobbing from the bedroom. Her daughter drops her head in shame and Ivy is a deer in headlights, then Anne chimes in with "Aw honey, don't cry. I'm sure whatever you're going through will sort itself out."

The faux smile that was on Elissa's lips turns downward at the words of her grandmother, so innocently unknowing yet concerned. Moisture pools in the girl's eyes again and Anne stops what she is doing and motions for her to walk over, then extends her arms out. Elissa rushes over and clings to the woman who has been there right from the beginning. The woman who has visited for birthdays, Christmases, and piano performances. Every last one of them with rants of praise and encouragement. The woman who helped her up when he mother was not enough. The woman who was her role model.

Curling up in the embrace like a tiny child, Anne rubs her back in circles, like Ivy had, whispering, "You know, my granddaughter Elissa used to love when I rubbed her back like this. She's around your age, I reckon. I wish she would visit me more often. I miss her."

And now Elissa starts bawling.