Hotel California

I think my life could not be worse.
Everything around me seems ready to collapse.
I don’t even know why I’m here.
Well, before explaining why I’m here, sitting in a cheap motel room, still smelling the stench of death around me, and seeing the image of a murderer every time I look into a mirror, I go inside the bathroom and wash my face, trying to wash away my sins, maybe.
I think before all of that, I should tell you my tale…

7.15 am
Dammit! I’m late for school…again. I really hate having to wake up early, more because I know that after a quick shower, getting ready and faking eating something. My destiny is heading off to school.

I wish that, only for one day, I could walk away without feeling those nasty looks, criticizing and intolerant looks from the rest of the world.
Those idiots just don’t understand that I’m different. But am I? Am I really that different from them? Just because my way of thinking, dressing, talking, and just being is not like theirs?
What do you think?

‘‘Hey loser, how’s it going?’’ said that jerk Tom.
‘‘Go to hell,’’ I said flipping him off.
‘‘Oh come on freak, did I hurt your feelings? I don’t really understand how you can live like this… every day, for the rest of your lousy life.’’
‘‘For your information, I wasn’t like this before, retarded people like you made me see that their cute happy world is shit…. I think I should thank you or maybe your bitch of a mother for bringing you into this shitty ass world,’’ I said with sarcasm dripping from my voice.
‘‘You better shut the fuck up you freak,’’ said Tom, trying to hit my face, only to be interrupted by Mikey, who took his arm a little harder than he intended.
‘‘Leave her alone you idiot, if you don’t want me to teach you a lesson on how to treat women.’’
‘‘You freaks!’’ That was the last Tom said before turning around and storming off, yelling insults into the air.
‘‘I told you not to do that anymore, Alex.’’
‘‘I know Mikey, but every freaking morning that idiot just makes me mad.’’
‘‘If I wasn’t your best friend, would you treat me like that?’’ he asked raising his eyebrow.
‘‘Of course not! You are the only person that actually treats me like a human being.’’ I looked down and took his arm.

Mikey was definitely the best friend someone could have. We could talk about whatever. When we were in the first grade, I met him while some kids where giving him a hard time about using those big glasses of his. I kind of saved him, and since then we were inseparable. All my life I felt like an outcast from life, but with Mikey I felt free. He was the only thing that was worth it in my life.

I think I should tell you about him.
Michael which was his real name, but he hated it, and I only called him like that when I was mad at him.
He was pale, thin and he had green eyes with brownish mousy hair. He used nerd glasses, which he insisted didn’t make him an actual nerd, but of course he never failed a damn class.
And for me, the most adorable guy in the face of the earth, of course I never told him that part.

The day seemed to pass slowly in each class, but by the end of the day I was more than happy to get out of there.

‘‘Want to go back to mine? I’ll help with your homework.’’
‘‘You don’t even have to say it, I go to your house everyday and you always help with my work.’’
We laughed and headed towards his house.

We always went to his house and either spent hours in his room, or walking in the huge but empty house.
Mikey’s parents were rich, and he obviously was too, but he didn’t do the normal thing rich people do. And they used to leave him alone in his house for most of the day.

That afternoon we were lying down in the living room carpet, looking at the ceiling trying to find animals in the dirt of the plaster and talking.
‘‘I can’t believe that this is our last year in high school.’’
‘‘Months honey, last months,’’ I said smiling ‘‘Aaaaand I can’t believe that in just a few months time I will be away from this school and the idiots that here, except you of course.’’
‘‘Oh why thank you,’’ he said rolling his eyes.
‘‘And the best thing… Is getting out of this hick ass town!’’
‘‘Did your mother say yes?’’
‘‘Err no, but she has to. She knows that if she agrees, she will get rid of me faster and that is what the woman has been trying to do since the day I was born.’’
‘‘Don’t say that.’’
‘‘Why not? She hates me… I know it, and she knows I know it,’’ I replied, scratching my head.
‘‘I still think we only have each other,’’ he said.
‘‘Yeah me too. Hard not to. I mean our parents barely talk to us.’’
‘‘Are you going to prom?’’ He asked trying to change the conversation.
‘‘What kind of question is that? Of course not! Why are you asking?’’
‘‘Well, I was thinking that being something as bad as prom and that my parents are telling me to go, we could crash the party together.’’ Mikey stayed quiet after that waiting for my answer.
I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was actually asking me to prom, which we both decided we wouldn’t go to years ago.
‘‘Really?’’
‘‘Yes.’’ I saw him blush and I smiled.
‘‘Well…’’ I started thinking about the good stuff that could come from this and said… ‘‘It could be nice Mikey.’’ I answered looking into his eyes.
‘‘You're not doing this out of pity are you?’’
‘‘Of course not. I wouldn’t go with anyone else besides you. And we could have fun… Don’t you think?
‘‘Fuck yeah.’’

‘‘Where were you Alexandra?’’
‘‘Mikey’s house, Mom, as always,’’ I answered my mom with a roll of my eyes.
‘‘You should leave that kid alone at least once in a while.’’
‘‘He likes spending time with me, he is my friend.’’
‘‘Come on Alexandra, you don’t have any friends. We both know that he spends time with you because he is sorry for you.’’
I couldn’t believe that my own mother was telling me this kind of stuff.
‘‘That’s a lie! He is the only one in this place that gives a fuck about me.’’
‘‘And what about me? I don’t care about you?’’
‘‘Fuck no! Listen to what you just told me. A mother wouldn’t say that about her daughter. You only want to make me feel miserable. And guess what? You're not doing that bad of a job.’’
‘‘Don’t talk to your mother like that!!!’’
‘‘How do you want me to talk to you? It’s not like you care.’’
I watched her face contort into something that clearly said that she hated me, but she was too much of a coward to say that to my face.
‘‘Its time for dinner,’’ was the only thing that came out of her mouth.
‘‘I'm not hungry.’’
‘‘Well, you are too thin you have to eat.’’
‘‘I'm. Not. Hungry. I want to sleep.’’
‘‘Have something at least.’’
‘‘Whatever,’’ I took an apple like every night and ran to my room closing my door and putting the lock on.
‘‘I hate that woman.’’ I murmured to myself.

I ate the apple and brushed my teeth. After I changed into my pajamas and went to bed, I put my iPod on, blasting music until I fell asleep, thinking about the day… Was Mikey only going to prom because his parents were making him? Or did he really want to have fun with me?

All those doubts could wait until tomorrow.