Hotel California

I left the car slowly, Mikey behind me. It was like we were scared or something. Tom just stood there, not moving an inch. I walked hanging onto Mikey, I was still feeling a little weak, when we arrived to the door and the arguing started.

"Alex, how are you?"
I kept quiet.
"What are you doing here? She doesn’t want to talk to you," said Mikey still angry at tom.
"i just want to talk to her, see how’s she is doing… Greta told me that you passed out in the bathroom and that she found you"
"Yeah" i said weakly.
"Alex, please! Just give me a chance." tom was starting to yell.
"i don’t want all my neighbours knowing half of my private life. Let’s go inside. But I swear that if any of you start fighting. You’re both out. "
"All right" Mikey and tom said in unison.
We walked inside and sat down in the living room. Thank god my mom wasn’t home… again.
"All right, talk" I said irritated. "You have 2 minutes to give me your explanation… and no more"
"Wait; before anything… can we talk in private?"
"Don’t even think about telling me to leave" mumbled Mikey.
"its okay i can do this alone Mikey, please leave us alone" I asked Mikey with the most niceness I could muster in that moment.

Mikey went into the kitchen and tom started talking.

"Okay, first i want to tell you im sorry for doing that the other day"
"Doing what?" i asked angrily" I think you haven’t even noticed what you did wrong. You just say you're sorry over and over again. How can you really be sorry? "
"I know what I did… I just don’t want to say it"
"Than you're even more of a coward than what I thought" I looked to the other side, I really didn’t want to see him.
"Do you want me to say it out loud? You really want that? I left you, okay? I left you for some idiots that can’t distinguish how great you are even if you chose to let them see! I acted like the biggest fool. Because I chose them over you! That’s what you wanted to hear?" he screamed and cried all at the same time. "im really sorry. "
"Then why did you do it?" I asked desperately. I couldn’t see him like this. "Why if you knew what you were doing?"
"Because I was scared! Im scared of losing all I have," he continued crying.
"Why would you lose it? I don’t get it"
"Its just that if im with you, I lose everything I have ever built… even if it was wrong… my friends, the team… everything. Even my family had changed towards me. "
"If its such a big change for you to be with me… then keep your life!"
"Because now you're the most important thing in my life! More than my friends, more than the team and my family. You're the only one that has really listened to me. And you opened to me. "
"Then why are you doubting? Believe me you don’t have to be with me if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to make fun of me, and I don’t want you making fun of yourself doing all of this"
"Please, just understand… I got scared. I didn’t know how to act in the moment. And I want to be with you! If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here begging you"
"And what if this is just another joke from you? How can I know that you're not making this entire thing up? "
"Because, if you didn’t lie to me… and in one moment of your life you trusted me, and you believed in me… then believe in me now! I want you to trust me again. "
"Why does it matter if I believe in you? What’s going to change? What if the doubts and fears are still there? What are you going to do when you mess me up again? You're going to say you're sorry and ask for me to trust you all over again? You're going to run to you're friends and then come back? "
"Why cant I have both?"
I kept quiet for a second. And I stayed like that making that second last a lifetime.
"I don’t have any inconvenient if you want to be with them, its your life. Do what you want to with it. "
"Alexandra!" he cried.
"What do you want me to say? ‘Yes tom run to your friends! Make my life shit again, and then come back so we can watch a movie’"
"Things aren’t like that! "
"They will, because as long as you're with them, things aren’t going to be like that. Don’t you remember who called me freak the first time? Who throw little pieces of paper in class the first time? Who decided to humiliate me to death? It was you Thomas!" the papers had changed I was the one crying out to him now. "do you see these bandages?" I took em off furiously "do you see these scars? Most of the time, you where the cause of them! Because I could handle the pain you caused me," I continued crying silently, not saying anything trying to recover my breath. "if you stay with them, they wont stop… you teached them how to make me miserable"

I was over telling him how I felt all this time, and he just stood there. I was tired; my eyes were swollen. We both stayed on our feet, neither of us remembering when we stood up.
I looked at the floor, taking a bit of air. Not again, everything was spinning again, my legs lost their strength once again… but this time I didn’t end up on the floor. Tom hugged me just before I could start falling down. "I think the nurse let you out too fast. " I heard him whisper in my ear, when he was putting me down on the couch. "Mikey! " and I couldn’t hear anything else.

"Why are you sad sweetie?"
"Mikey didn’t come play with me today… what will happen if he doesn’t come back?"
"That won’t happen. He loves you very much, just like me… and he will never leave you, just like me"
"I love you daddy"

---

"Why did he leave? He said he would never leave me"
"I don’t know… I don’t care what he said. He left me"
"But, I miss daddy… I want him back"
"Don’t you understand that he isn’t coming back? He is dead!

---

"What are you doing? "
"im trying not to feel pain, like when you were alive"
"But you shouldn’t do that sweetie. Just look at your arm, it’s covered in blood, you could…"
"Die? That would be good too… I could be with you"
"I can’t let that happened, you still have time left… I love you sweetie"
"I love you daddy"
"Alex! Alex! "

"Alex wake up"
I had all been a dream right? Then why did it feel so real… was that a memory? I opened my eyes. And Mikey was there… just like in the infirmary. Just like when I was in the bathroom dying.
"Mikey"
"You scared me again," said Mikey softly.
"Don’t worry, i told you like a thousand times."
"I can’t help it"

Mikey took my hand and held it tightly, like so many times before making me feel better. We couldn’t see anything that wasn’t each other eyes. We smiled like nothing bad had happened. I felt like I was getting closer to his face… almost like I was about to kiss him.
"Excuse me! " interrupted tom. "im still here"
I turned away and saw tom, very annoyed. I looked back at Mikey and I saw how close we were… very close. That made us both blush and get away quickly.
"I think I have to go, ill see you tomorrow Alex" said Mikey taking his stuff and leaving, before even realizing that he was leaving me alone.

With Tom.