Hotel California

Another uncomfortable situation.

I was in the couch, tom in the loveseat.

None of us said a word for like 20 minutes.

"Mikey left and he said he was going to put your bandages up again, I guess he forgot."
"Oh sorry about taking them off, I was mad."
"Are you still angry with me?"
"No, I’m pretty calm right now."
"Let me try to put them back on, it’s not good for you to be much time without them."
Tom walked over to me and sat down beside me, he took the box of the stuff he needed that Mikey had left over the coffee table. He took my wrist softly, and when I looked up he was looking at me smiling, just like before.
"I’m not really good at this. I’ll just try to remember when I saw my dad doing it. I hope I don’t hurt you"
"Ill be okay, thanks anyway"

He started to wrap the bandage in my wrist, trying not to put it on too tightly.
"I’m really sorry that I’m so insecure," he said breaking the silence he had made. "If I wasn’t like this, I wouldn’t even doubt being with you. But ive thought about it and I can leave the guys. "
"Don’t do that" I interrupted him "you don’t have to"
"But, I want to be with you"
"You don’t have to leave them to be my friend, I would obviously love the idea because they’re idiots, but if they don’t make fun of me or Mikey, they will another kid to do so. But if you want to be with them it’s alright, just don’t act like them. And not just with me… with the whole school. "

"Are you serious?”
"Yes, I have a theory of about hat could happen if you do it"
"which is?”
"If you stop annoying kids at school and other places, maybe they’ll stop, because they Hill think it’s boring. Then you’ll change the whole group… starting by you. "
"I hadn’t thought of that possibility"
"Then what do you say? What do you plan on doing? "
"Your idea sounds like the best option" he smiled "I think I’m done"
"It feels better thanks"
I looked at him and while I was smiling he looked rather troubled.
"You haven’t told me why you have those bandages.”
"I thought it was quite obvious"
"i mean... why?"
"I don’t think you’ll want to know"
"Of course I want to, more if it was because of me"

"It’s just that, that day, Mikey received a note from Greta and he didn’t want to tell me anything. But that didn’t matter what was strange was that Mikey was so desperate to get to her. And that got me kinda mad. Then you got there and I didn’t really want to be with anyone, and you hugged me and it made me feel worse. And even worse when you left me. I felt alone and I wanted someone and obviously that someone was Mikey and I started looking for him and I found him kissing Greta. Then I guess you understand why I felt so let down by the only two people I trusted. I didn’t have anyone else. And it hurt. And it felt like the only option left."

"but Alex"
"I didn’t try to commit suicide okay? I want everyone to know that"
"Then what was it?”
"It’s the sensation tom, the blade against you… the blood, makes everything less…. Important. "
"It shouldn’t be like that Alex"
"It is to me, it’s an escape"
"But how did the wounds end up being so profound?”
"I don’t know; I got carried away. And when I started losing too much blood Mikey found me, and took me to the hospital. "
"Alex" he thought a little and looked me in the eyes taking my hand. "I really didn’t want this to happen, I’m so sorry"
"It wasn’t only your fault; it was everything… besides even if it was your fault I know it wasn’t your intention"

"Then, do you forgive me?”
"Okay, I forgive you" he hugged me tightly and I just smiled. "But I don’t want you to tell me your sorry every time you do something wrong, it would be a little annoying don’t you think?”
"All right" he smiled "hey, want something to eat? My treat"
"sounds good, thanks"

We left the house and got inside his car. The only good thing about not eating with Mikey was that after McDonalds, there was a huge list of other places where you could eat. So we took the opportunity. And hour and a salad later, tom and I decided to go to the park. To talk and take a breath of fresh air.

"I thought you didn’t like Greta," I said laying down in the grass and looking at the sky.
"Why do you say that?”
"You said she was the one that told what happened"
"Well, I don’t know… she just went to me and she looked really troubled. She said that she had been inside the restroom and that she found you in the floor. Then she said Mikey had taken you to the nurse and that you probably already left. So I went to look for you. "
"I still can’t relieve she helped me, I thought she hated me"
"Greta can be nice when she wants to. I think that’s why I dated her for a while"
"Yeah it was a long time. Why did you guys break up? "
"I stopped liking her. She changed a lot from junior high to high school. If being a cheerleader was a big deal for her before, being the captain of the squad was her dream come true"
"I think you don’t like her not one bit anymore"
"No I don’t, she hurt me"
"she hurt you?”

"Yeah, she cheated on me with some other guy; I think it was her friend’s brother or something.”
"i didnt know that"
"Most people don’t, just her and I. well now you. But we never wanted to say anything, she didn’t want the other cheerleaders to make fun of her because I dumped her and I didn’t want the other guys to know I had been cheated on. So we made a deal"
"How can someone like Greta, be as civilized as to make a deal?"
Tom laughed and smiled at me.
"She is not as stupid as you think. She just doesn’t like trying. Besides she knows that’s if she’s a cheerleader, she doesn’t really have too"
"Good point. She was smart in junior high, I kinda remember that"
"Yeah well when she was made captain everything just came easier for her and she stopped thinking for herself.
I think that was enough about Greta, my brain was starting become mush after talking so much about her.

"Hey guess what?” I said trying to change the Topic drastically "while I was unconscious I dreamt about my dad"
"Really? What happened? Tell me"
"Well more than a dream, they where kina of memories. First I was like seven years old, and my dad was telling me that Mikey and him were never going to leave me. Then came the one of when he died, and how my mom starting to change towards me, telling me how she didn’t care about me she just cared about her husband leaving her alone. And then if was between a memory and a dream, I saw my dad telling me that I was wrong cutting myself and that it was dangerous, I told him that even if I died no one would care, that It was better, that way I could be with him. But he said that I wasn’t my time, and that’s when Mikey came in"
"You really miss him don’t you?"
"Yup, everyday I kina of ask myself what World have happened if he hadn’t died.”
"You would be the same"
"I don’t know maybe, it really hurt me when he left us"
"how did he die?”

"Car crash, mom and I were waiting for him to have dinner. That night I turned eight, and he was in a trip that had taken longer than planed, so when he got back we where going to celebrate together. I was really anxious for him to get there; he had just called and told me he was almost there." I started crying and my voice was breaking at every word I said. "He had told me he loved me and that he was almost home so we could celebrate together and he would give me my birthday hug and he never could. Mom and I waited for hours, until she told me to go to sleep. I didn’t want to, I wanted my see my dad when he got home. But she insisted, the next morning there was a call and she left, not saying a word. When I woke up she still wasn’t back and I got really scared. Awhile later she came home with a face that ill never forget, I started asking where my dad was, she didn’t answer back she just walked to her room and locked her door. That was the worst day of my whole life. I dint eat, I didn’t sleep… I couldn’t do anything. I just needed my parents and that bitch didn’t even let me go to the funeral. I didn’t say goodbye, I couldn’t see him one last time. I could hug him. The last thing I told him was that I loved him. “I was covering my face with my hand while tom held the other.

"Do you want to go see him? We can go to the cemetery if you want"