Hotel California

The cold air of the afternoon was hitting my face.
I was standing before my father’s grave. The man I had loved more than anything In the world. Tom was standing besides me, holding my hand.

"I know its hard being here again, I hadn’t been here in a long time" I said trying to talk with my dad, "but I just couldn’t be here, it hurt too much. I know you left me but the idea of visiting a piece of stone, its just not the same as hugging you. I miss you. I need you. You shouldn’t have left. You had to teach me so many things. I know you left me people that love me, but you're the one that loved me the most and I love you too much to accept that you're not here anymore. “some tears escaped my eyes. Tom was wiping them away softly with the tips of his fingers. "Besides all of that. I want to thank you for all the years you were there for me. You gave me your love without asking for anything in return. All you needed from me was a smile or a hug. Thank you daddy… I love you"

I turned back to tom, and he hugged me. I was still crying, but I didn’t feel alone. I was beside two wonderful men.

"Thanks for everything tom. I don’t have any idea of how to thank you. I really needed this. "
Tom and i where standing in from of my door and tom was saying goodbye.
"Its ok, it was the least i could do, for all the stupid stuff I did."
"I better get inside; my mom must be furious cuz im not home."
"All right, see you tomorrow at school" he came close to me and tried to kiss me, but I stopped him before he did. "No tom, we talked about this. Resides today was a day full of emotions for me, i need to rest"
"Its okay, goodbye" he kissed my forehead, he smiled and left.

I really had felt a whirlwind of emotions that day. And it was too much for someone like me, I really needed to rest.

I went inside the house, and saw my mom that was waiting for me in the living room.

"Alexandra! Where were you? And what happened here?" She had the used bandages by her side.
"I went to my dad’s grave and i had and inconvenient so i changed the gauze and everything"
"You should be resting"
"That’s what ill do, bye"

I ran to my room and lied down in my bed, just thinking. Suddenly my cell phone started ringing. It was Mikey. I had forgotten completely what had happened before he left.

"Hello? " I answered.
"Hey Alex" said Mikey timidly.
"Hey Mikes"
"Alex, can we talk? You know… about what happened earlier? "
"Sure"
"Okay, but I don’t think that talking on the phone is out best option. Can I come over? "
"Yeah it okay"
"I’ll be right there"

I disconnected the call and started thinking about the almost kiss with Mikey. Why had that happened? We were about to kiss, right? Was it just my imagination? Then why did he notice? I didn’t notice when I fell asleep, but moments later I woke up from my slumber when I felt Mikey playing with my hair.

"Sorry for waking you up"
"Why didn’t you wake me up when you got here?"
"I thought you needed to rest"
"Hey, about earlier"
"I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention"
"Yes, I just need to know… was it my imagination o we really where about to kiss. Maybe we even weren’t that close"
"Well, I think we where. I don’t think there’s an explanation. And if there is I don’t know what it is"
"Maybe" I said quietly, because what i was about to say was weird… really. "What if we really wanted to kiss each other? "
"what?! "
"It could be" I was still laying down in my bed and Mikey was sitting beside me. "What if we wanted to kiss? Maybe its just curiosity"
"But why is there curiosity about kissing?"
"i don’t know"

We kept quiet for a few minutes, evading each other eyes. It was weird and uncomfortable. Suddenly I looked at Mikey and he was looking me in the eyes too.

"Maybe I do want to kiss you," said Mikey in a low voice.
"Why?"
"To feel what tom did…"
"Really?"
"I don’t know… maybe… and you?"
"I think I wanted to feel like Greta"
"Feel like her… about kissing me, or something else?"
"i guess kissing you"

I gave a weary laugh. I felt like a dumb pre-adolescent kid with her first crush.

"Then everything is alright now?"
"About us? Of course"
"Then I think I have to leave"
"No stay… please?"
"All right"

We talked for a while, but I still felt uncomfortable around him. Well maybe it was because my head was in his legs and he was lying down too.

Nah, I don’t think so.

"Are you sure it wasn’t a dream?"
"I don’t know. Because I’m sure the first two where memories. And the third one… I have no idea. Maybe I did see my dad and I don’t remember"
"You where bleeding out. Maybe it was a hallucination"
"But if it was, why did I remember it?"
"Then… you did see him"
"Yeah and I was too busy dying to get a conversation going."
"The important thing here is that it happened and now it’s forgotten. Besides you had the opportunity to talk to your father again. "
"Yeah, its been years since I went to the cemetery. I really needed it. "
"We can go whenever you need it"
"Yes, thanks Mikey" I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep.

I didn’t notice when Mikey stood up and tucked me inside my bed and left.

Even after all the help I had from Mikey and tom. I still felt something was bound to go wrong when I got to the school.

Mikey and I were walking towards the school, not really talking.

"Its going to be worse than yesterday, I’m sure"
"Don’t worry, It’ll be fine"
"I don’t know, I kinda feel like something had to go wrong"
"lets hope not" he turned to me and smiled stupidly taking my hand in his.

We walked through the school hallways. Mikey and I pretended to do everything as normal as possible. We didn’t want to give anyone the possibility to start harassing us.

Tom friends at least left us alone, and the mocking subsided. So it was a great breakthrough. The cheerleaders where whispering every time we walked in front of them, but we really didn’t pay much attention to them.

Maybe it was just my imagination but, where is the big drama I was dreading? Was I so fucking lucky?
I don’t think so, because with a hand tug Mikey alerted me of a bigger problem.

"Miss York, I need to talk to you," said the fat and ugly school counselor.
"All right" I followed her and walked until we were inside her office. She motioned me to sit down in one of her ugly chairs. I sat down and she started barking about me.
"Well the main reason why you are here, is that by some rumors i came to the realization that you had an… accident?"
"It wasn’t an accident."
"Oh, so your saying that you tried to… you know… commit suicide?"
"No, I didn’t try" I said as calm as possible.
"Then how can you say it wasn’t an accident, if you didn’t want to do it?" She looked a little surprised and confused as hell.
"Look miss. Ill try to be quick and explain this, it wasn’t an accident, meaning i didn’t cut myself by accident and i didn’t want to die, because it wasn’t my intention to end my life. Was I clear enough? "
"I just don’t understand why. If you only explained to me"
"No miss, I wont tell you my personal problems. The only thing that this school needs to know is that I go to all my classes, my grades aren’t really that bad. So if you don’t have anything else to tell me… can I leave? I have class. "

The woman looked like some had just slapped her.
"all right miss York, when you need someone to talk to…"
"I won’t," I said while I left the office.

Poor imbecile. I know it was her job, but If I hardly talked to my mother, why would I tell her? A complete stranger who has no idea about my life.

Mikey was waiting for me right outside the office.

"You should have gone to class."
"I wanted to wait for you, what did she say?"
"She wanted to know why I cut myself, like I would tell her."
"Yeah, lets go then"

We walked to the classroom and after explaining to the teacher why we where late we entered to what was left of our interesting math class.