Hotel California

My eyes could only see my hands, which were playing nervously with my fingers. Yes. I was nervous, of being in a dark room with tom.
I wasn’t even playing attention to the movies, which was about a stupid woman crashing into everything in from of her, and he poor man trying o date her without dying.

Everyone in the room was laughing with every stupid joke or action of the actress, except tom and I. was he as nervous as I? Or was the movie just plain boring?
"This movie sucks," whispered tom in my ear, which surprised me and made me, jump a little. "Sorry, did I scare you?”
"No it’s just that i wasn’t paying attention"
"Does this movie bore you as much as it bores me?" tom asked me.
"Hell yeah"
"Wanna get outta here?"
"Sounds like the best option"

We got up and started to exit the room. Tom took my hand so I wouldn’t fall while descending the stairs. It was weird, lie he knew about my problem with stairs, and I sometimes fall in them. But I didn’t mention it until we where outside.
"Did you know that I fall down easily on stairs? Or why did you take my hand? "
"No I just did it cause I wanted to."
"Oh, thanks anyway" I said blushing a little.
"Want something to eat?"
"Yeah im a little hungry"

We went to a little coffee house near there. I remember ordering French fries and he ordered a burger. When we were eating, someone had the wonderful idea of putting on some music, and I started hearing a song that I hated with all my guts. ‘love me, love me… say that you love me!!!’

"I hate that song," I said a little angry.
"Really? Why? You’re a girl; you’re supposed to like love songs, and stuffed bears and that kind of shit. "
"I’m not like other girl. Besides that’s just an stereotype; guys and girl can do whatever the fuck they want. Ill give you an example, if you wrote poetry that wouldn’t be wrong cause its not just for women and men are good at it too, sometimes even better that women at writing cheesy stuff… so what do you say now my poet friend? “I said laughing a little and eating the fry that I had been waiving in the air while living my oh so insightful explanation. Then I saw how tom looked down a little red in the face, like trying to hide…
"Oh my god you write poetry don’t you?” I asked surprised.
"It’s not exactly poetry, they’re more like thoughts, its not… wrong is it?”
"Fuck no, its something really cool if you ask me.”
"Really?"
"Yes and sweet and brave. That a boy actually admits that he feels something, and someone as tough as you. "
"You think im tough?"
"Yes, well that’s the image you gave when you tried to hit me or when you yelled at me"
"I’m really sorry about that. I wish I could take it all back, resides if I had know how nice you actually are I would never have said those things to you. "
"Then you did that because you didn’t know me?”
"I think, have you ever heard that the human being is scared of the unknown? Well it’s kind of like that. "
"You were scared of me? " I asked a little confused.
"A little, I remember you once hit a boy at school we were like nine years old, and since then I was scared shitless of you. "
"I didn’t remember that! Damn, but I wasn’t a bully… I did it because that boy pushed me around and was making fun of Mikey"
"He is like your brother, right? "
"Yeah, I think… he is what I love the most. "
"More than your family? " tom looked shocked.
"Of course!, well I think the people I love the most are Mikey and my dad, but he’s not with me anymore… so all I have left is Mikey. "
"I didn’t know your dad…"
"Yeah he died. " I finished his sentence "like ten years ago, I was just a kid… I miss him so much. " I covered my mouth with my hand trying not to get too worked up and sad about the conversation. I felt the tears growing in my eyes. I hadn’t cried for my dad in a long time, I needed him.
"its alright" I felt toms hand over my own " I miss my dad too, he and mom are divorced and he’s a doctor so he works way too much so he can never visit me… and he remarried a stupid bimbo which treats me like shit. "
I looked up, to see his sad pretty eyes. What he was telling me… really hurt him.
"Im so sorry" I said slowly hugging tightly his hand on my own.
"Thanks" he smiled a bit and grazing my hand with his.
I don’t know why, but if he had done that a week before I would have hit him… now? It felt good.

We finished our food and he got out of the cafeteria. It was a sentimental mushy afternoon with tom, the guy I thought I would hate all my life. When we got to my house, we stopped and talked a bit in the porch.
"Thanks Alex… I can call you Alex now right? "
"Sure"
"I had a great time. Thanks for helping me, I think I needed to tell that to somebody. "
"You don’t have to thank me, and thanks for listening to me too. It’s been a long time since I had cried for my father, not like today. "
"Well if you need someone to talk, about anything… im right here ok? "
"Yeah, thanks… it’s the same with me, feel free to tell me whatever you need. "
"Okay, I have to go. Ill sees you tomorrow at school. "
"Yeah, bye."
"Bye"

He kissed my cheek again, and left. I walked inside and my mother was in the living room watching TV.
"I swear to god that if you get pregnant ill throw you out." she dais in a serious tone.
"What the fuck are you talking about? I just went to the movies… and besides he is just a friend. "
"Don’t you think that it’s a lot o coincidence that from one day to the other you have a new friend? You the apathy queen? The one that has no friends? " She could be so cold hearted to me sometimes.
"Of course I have friends! Have you forgotten about Mikey? "
"I told you before that kid only feels sorry for you. "
"No he doesn’t! Why do you insist in making me feel so miserable? "
In that moment I started crying again, I just couldn’t take this.
"Are you really asking me that? "
"Yes! Why do you hate me? "
"Because you look just like your father! Because you have something of his and I don’t! Because everyday you remind me that he left and im stuck here with you! “Mom was screaming hysterically I could only cry. How could she think that? Was she sick and crazy? What was her damned problem?
"I HATE YOU" I yelled at her and ran to my room, locking the door behind me so she couldn’t get inside.
I heard her get close to the door and knock softly.
"Alexandra please, I… I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to say that.”
"Yes it was," I yelled desperately throwing a small vase at the door, breaking it to pieces.
"Go away! I don’t want to see you. "
"Please" she pleaded.
"GO! " I yelled at the door.
The only thing I wanted was to be alone, cry… I wanted my father… and Mikey to hug me and tell me that everything was going to be fine. I felt miserable. There were nights when I could hope with all my strength for my father to come back and take me with him, to leave the life I hated so much, this was one of this nights. But then I thought of Mikey, and the fact that he needed me as much as I needed him.
I had to be strong for him. Soon this would all be over. We would get away… from our families to make our own future, we would be new people.

I just wanted it to be over soon. I don’t know how much time I can handle.