Status: updates when inspiration and free time collide.

The Quiet of Compazine

I'm Too Unstable to Settle.

“Guys, we have to get to class,” I laughed, trying to walk forward, but Garrett kept his arms firmly wrapped around my waist.

“Tell us, tell us, tell us, Porter!” Pat whined. When they mentioned that John mentioned me in band practice the other day, I couldn’t help but blush…

So, of course they picked up on that and instantly assumed that something had happened between us. Now they were trying to figure out what. “Look, you guys, nothing has happened since that day we went to In-N-Out while you were in detention, alright?”

“Lies!” Pat screeched.

“He said he sees you at work sometimes, and that he hung out with you in your car jamming to some sweet tunes the other day,” Garrett added.

I face palmed in an attempt to conceal my fresh blush. “Ok…what did he say?”

“Your side of the story first,” Pat insisted, and Garrett nodded in agreement.

I licked my lips nervously for a moment. “He, uh, bought me a milkshake, sat in my car, sang a song, read poetry out loud… and, uh, we exchanged phone numbers. We don’t talk much, though. He always manages to text me when I’m busy or tired from work, so…y-yeah…”

Garrett finally let me go so we could get in our seats for class. “He’s bummed out that you guys don’t talk much. But most of all, he’s struggling – to, you know, figure you out. God, you’re both so stupid! Neither of you know how to fucking talk to each other!” he sighed in exasperation.

I laughed and pulled out my Sylvia Plath book. I dog eared the page that “Soliloquy of a Solipsist” was on, but every time I read it, I heard John’s voice reading it in my head. “We don’t talk to each other like that. Stop trying to hook us up, alright? We wouldn’t work out!”

I had no chance with John. He was twenty, hot, in a band… I was seventeen, awkward, possibly schizophrenic – not a good match all. “Why not?” Pat asked with a matching pout.

“I…I like someone else.”

Garrett glared at me. “We’re going to pretend we never heard that.”

“Well, I don’t know who it is, exactly, but…whoever he is, he leaves me roses in my locker,” I mumbled, gently unfolding one of the messages given to me by my locker stalker. I used it as a bookmark – the one titled, “Tunnels in the Sand”, my favorite.

“That just means John needs to step up his game,” I heard Pat hiss to Garrett, who in turn nodded and whipped out his phone. They texted someone – I can only assume it was John – for a while, but then when they got a reply, all of a sudden, they both were like “OH MAN CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?!” for some reason.

So, the teacher came over and took Garrett’s phone. Silly boys…

After all my morning classes, I was about to leave for work, but Garrett and Pat found me again. “Wait, Porter, wait!” Pat yelled, his phone in hand this time. “We’re gonna come to your car and call John real quick,” Pat informed me, the both of them smiling mischievously.

No rose in my locker today. I shut it and shouldered my bag. “You guys, seriously…”

But they both just took my hands and we all walked out to the parking lot. Pat called John. “Shouldn’t you be in school?” John answered after a few rings, laughing a bit.

“Garrett got his phone taken up, sorry we didn’t text back,” Pat told John. We were all sitting on the trunk of my car with the phone on speaker, Pat holding it and sitting between Garrett and I. “So, when are you gonna go see her again? She just left for work.”

“You know, the more you guys push us together, the more we won’t get together,” John laughed, making me want to punch Pat and Garrett so badly. “Besides, I think Jared’s right.”

“Right about what?” Garrett asked, glancing at me momentarily.

“Well, Porter’s too young for me, bro,” John pointed out, confirming my doubts. “Jared thinks I should, like, date a girl my own age-ish. Elevate my company, if you will.”

“That’s just how him and Tess are. Besides, Tess is so short she could pass for a seventeen year old!” Pat argued while I tried to keep on my poker face. “Porter really likes you, John,” he added, earning a slap from me…because it was completely true.

“She likes the guy that leaves poetry and roses in her locker,” John scoffed.

“Which is you,” Garrett added, and I felt my face turning redder than my car. “John, go for it! She’s hot!”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” John snapped, making me internally swoon at the protective tone his voice assumed. “Look, just…go to class. Go back to class, and we can hash it out at band practice, alright?”

“Why don’t you ask her out already?” Pat whined.

“Because… I’m awkward.” Oh, John. That’s my excuse! “Go to class!” John finally hung up.

“See?!” Pat exclaimed, throwing his arms around me and shaking me. “He likes you! And you like him!”

I bit my lip. John never actually verbally confirmed that he was the one writing the poetry, so... “You guys, I need to get to work,” I sighed, sliding off the trunk of my car. “John doesn’t like me like that,” I said, more to myself than them, but they heard me anyways, and began to protest at that.

“Why do you keep thinking that?” Garrett demanded.

“Because I’m too fucked up!” I finally snapped, making both boys flinch. I sighed to myself, murmuring an apology before getting in my car and driving off.

I wish I wasn’t me like this.
♠ ♠ ♠
thanks for reading, hope you liked it! i heart pat and garrett. a fucking lot. lol.
aww, no comments...you guys bum me out, but...PIONEER COMES OUT TOMORROW!
comment/subscribe/ check out my new john story, One Pack of Smokes from Broke! :D
sometimes i feel like i write too much...sigh.