Cheerio

“Evie!” a voice that I couldn’t immediately place called after me as I walked down the hall on my way to first period. “Evie, wait up.”

Turning slowly, I found myself face-to-face with Kurt. My eyebrows pulled together in confusion as I looked up at him. “Can I help you?” I snapped a little harsher than necessarily intended.

He hesitated, obviously not expecting to be met with hostility. But what did he really expect? I was kind of a bitch, after all. “I just wanted to tell you that your performance yesterday was fantastic.”

I rolled my eyes and started walking away, but he sped up to keep in step with me. “Yeah, well, whatever. It’s not like anyone believed me.”

Kurt was silent for so long that I thought he had turned and walked away, deciding that he didn’t want my negative energy to bring him down. So when he spoke again, I started slightly. “Well, can you blame us? The entire time we’ve all known you, you’ve just put down everyone, been rude, and you’ve lied more than your fair share. Everyone’s learned to take what you say with a grain of salt. But I believe you more than anyone else does.”

That didn’t necessarily mean much, but it was kind of a reality check. I mean, when have I ever opened myself up before? When have I even told the truth before? Swallowing, I made it obvious that I wasn’t going to look at him as I said slowly, “If that’s supposed to make me feel better, you fail. Now, you can leave me alone and stop giving me pity because I don’t want it. Okay?”

Speeding up, I weaved my way through the crowd, putting as much distance between Kurt and me as possible. Never in my life had I thought that I’d actually want to get to class, but that was exactly what was going through my head. I just needed to get away, go somewhere I could escape from reality. If that meant being in a borderline comatose state while my teacher droned on about something or other, then so be it.

* * *

For the longest time, I stood outside the choir room, debating whether I should show up or not. The cowardly majority of me wanted to bail, to call Garrett with some ridiculous story, crying hysterically, and have him pick me up without too much competition.

But then there was that conscience again, telling that I should show up because I made a commitment. Plus, Kurt was almost kind of nice.

God, I hated that thing. Why had it suddenly made an appearance, anyway? I was almost positive that I didn’t even have one before I was kicked off Cheerios.

Finally, my logical side won, saying that if I skipped, Mr. Schue would fail me. Even though that wouldn’t get me kicked off the Cheerios anymore, it would certainly disappoint my mother. And disappointment in me was certainly not something that Mom needed on her plate. Ever.

All conversation ceased when I showed my face. Everyone stared at me as if I was a bomb about to go off. More than anything, I wanted to avert my eyes to the ground, start biting my lip, maybe burst into tears.

But that was simply not acceptable to do in front of a group of kids who were so obviously waiting to criticize my every move. So instead, I kept my head up and walked confidently to my seat, which was one away from any other member. Although I could still feel eyes on me, I made a point of staring at Mr. Schue, waiting for him to start, not paying anybody any mind.

God, it was hard to pretend to be perfect all the time. But someone had to do it.

“Alright, guys,” Mr. Schue announced, breaking through the thick silence that still hung in the air, “who’s ready to go first?”

“Evie,” someone whispered.

Putting on my most annoyed face, I glared down at Kurt. Why was it he was the only one who kept trying to reach out to me? I wasn’t even sure if I liked him yet. But he was like an irritating virus who just kept coming back. “I think it’s really strong of you to come back,” he whispered so no one else could hear.

My heart softened slightly, but I made sure that it didn’t come across on my face. “Yeah, well, it’s not like I really had much of a choice, did I? Mr. Schue would flunk me if I skipped, and then I’d have to stay back an extra year.”

“Right,” he responded, turning back around. Not quickly enough for me to miss a smile that started to spread across his face, like he knew something I didn’t. God, that kid was annoying.

I was so busy trashing Kurt in my head that I completely missed Santana’s performance. Not that I really cared, anyway. Whatever she sang about was either a lie or I already knew it. Most of Santana’s life was a lie, I found out.

“That was beautiful, Santana,” Brittany spoke up, actually making sense. I stared at her for a second, wondering when she learned to speak in full sentences that didn’t ooze even a speck of stupid.

Santana smiled back at her before taking a seat. They immediately hooked pinkies and faced forward.

“Great job, Santana,” Mr. Schue congratulated, as if Brittany’s praise hadn’t been enough. God, this club reeked of bullshit. “Finn, ready?”

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and watched Finn’s performance. I had absolutely no idea what song it was, since it sounded like it was from the 1970s or some other ancient time. It sounded like he was singing about not being able to find his dream or live up to a dream…something like that.

But his performance wasn’t nearly as interesting as what was happening in the front row of the seats. Berry was looking at him longingly, blinking in such a way that showed just how in love with him she was. Or in lust. With teenagers, it’s always hard to tell.

Berry’s display was pretty pathetic, but what almost made me burst a gut laughing was the intense hatred Quinn was sending Berry’s way. There were more than just daggers flying through the air between them. Probably a flamethrower.

Finn seemed oblivious as he finished his song and everyone clapped politely. “Great as always, Finn,” Mr. Schue granted.

“Yeah, Finn,” Berry grinned. “It was fantastic.”

“Shut up, Berry,” Quinn snapped, getting to her feet, her arms crossed in front of the WMHS logo on her Cheerios top. “When are you going to get it through your thick head that Finn will never love you?”

Finn coughed uncomfortably, trying to hide the vicious blush that encompassed his face and neck. Then, he and Rachel exchanged a look that carried tons of meaning that I wasn’t smart or experienced enough to decipher.

“What was that?” Quinn screeched, sounding borderline insane.

Part of me really wanted to break out the popcorn machine and start handing out cartons, since everyone looked just as enthralled as I felt. But instead, I just stood up and cleared my throat as loudly as I could.

Everyone shot angry looks at me, so I grinned back at them. “As interesting as this soap drama is, I’m leaving. Quinn, Rachel, and Finn, you should take your arguments somewhere a little more private. I think Kurt’s getting a boner watching you, thinking about all the gossip that’ll ensue.”

Giving an irritating smirk, I walked out of the room. Soon, people filed behind me, knowing that I had kind of been the voice of reason.

But I still wanted to know more than life itself what they were arguing about.