Cheerio

“Hi, Kurt,” I greeted, leaning against the locker next to Kurt’s. After I had left Glee Club, bringing attention to myself instead of the love triangle, I regretted it. I wanted to know what had caused the whole issue, and if there was one person in the entire school who would know first, it was Santana. And after her, it was Kurt.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, stopping what he was doing just long enough to give me a confused look. “I was getting a pretty clear impression that you didn’t like me.”

I opened my mouth to say that of course I liked him, but then I remembered his whole spiel about me telling lies too often. So, instead, I replied, “I currently have mixed feelings. However, I think you know something that I want to know.”

“What would that be?” He shut his locker, and we walked in step down the hallway, weaving in and out between the huge group of teenagers.

“I was just wondering what’s going on between Finn, Rachel, and Quinn. What sparked that argument?”

As I had judged, Kurt very much liked gossip, clearly demonstrated by the explosion of sparkle that overtook his eye at the opportunity. “If I tell you, we’ll consider this making us friends, since I would never tell a stranger, considering Finn is my step-brother.”

Shit. That meant I couldn’t tell anyone else. Morally, anyway. “Fine.”

“I’ll start with what you know. Quinn and Finn are going out and have been for a while. There have been some strains on the relationship, like when Quinn slept with Puck and got pregnant with his baby, but they managed to work it all out.”

“Yeah,” I confirmed, nodding, trying my hardest not to sound overwhelmingly bored.

“This part, nobody else knows.” To emphasize how much of a secret the whole thing actually was, Kurt lowered his voice to a whisper. “Finn and Rachel totally made out last week when they were supposedly working on a duet for Glee Club. Quinn doesn’t know, but she can obviously tell that Finn and Rachel are acting weirdly around each other. Well…Rachel’s always acted like a lovesick puppy dog, but Finn is kind of longing after her, too.”

Whoa. That was some hardcore juicy gossip. The exact kind that teenagers would drink up like the super sugary slushies in the cafeteria. “Wow. Thanks for telling me, Kurt. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. So that stays a secret?”

“Totally.” I shot him a grin. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

Kurt nodded and started walking away while the gears in my head revved to a start. Now, what was the absolute fastest way to spread gossip through a school…?

* * *

“Hi.” My face was stretched into a huge, unnatural grin at the large, red-head secretary sitting behind the desk in front of Figgins’ office. “I was wondering if it was possible for me to photocopy my admissions essay for colleges. My English teacher said it was so good, she wanted to use it as an example for the other students.”

Of course, that would never happen in a million years, but authority and other adults melted when it came to the smart, goody-two-shoes types. “Of course, sweetie. It’s just in that room over there. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.”

“Thank you so much.” I started in the direction she pointed to, shutting the glass door behind me.

A fast examination of the copy machine revealed that it was exactly like the one Mom had at her work, which meant that I wouldn’t have any issues with it at all.

With a smug smirk on my face, I put my newsletter that I’d typed up and printed during study in the library on the glass screen and had it print a hundred copies. The only thing I hoped was that it would go quickly enough so the secretary wouldn’t get suspicious.

They started copying immediately at a pretty fast pace. After it was about halfway done, the secretary popped her head in. “Are you okay, dear?”

I brought my eyes to her for a second, looking like I was searching for a certain button. “I was just…oh!” Hitting myself in the forehead for emphasis, I just pressed the ‘ok’ button again, which didn’t do anything. “Found it. I’m fine, thanks.”

She smiled and slipped back out of the room, and I waited for the rest to finish.

I took out one of my folders that I’d emptied beforehand and stuffed all of the newsletters inside, trying to ignore the fact that my heart was beating a million times a minute, almost too eager to get the word out to the student body. In a small school like McKinley, the drama would certainly spread like a wildfire during a drought.

“Thank you so much,” I granted one last time before leaving the office.

“Anytime,” I heard her say after me, but I didn’t bother acknowledging her. I was now officially on my mission, and I needed to put on my blinders just to enjoy the experience.

I stopped at every message board and put one or two of the newsletters up, detailing the scandal love triangle between Rachel, Finn, and Quinn. The title, “McKinley’s Golden Couple in Trouble?” was just the right size to catch somebody’s eye on the way by. And, as far as I was concerned, even though I hadn’t signed it, everyone would know who did it.

After all, who was the only one who had a bone to pick with the lead Cheerio everyone loved and Berry? Only ex-Cheerio numero uno.

Once I covered every bulletin board in the school, I went Mean Girls style, just throwing the flyers around on the ground, making sure they were spread evenly for maximum coverage.

As I slipped back into my seat in the library just before the bell rang, a grin consumed myself, more than ready for all-out chaos to erupt.

* * *

“I will not stand for this!” Berry screeched in the choir room. Everyone was congregated in Glee Club while I stood outside (which would make me late, but whatever). Mr. Schue was not able to keep the riot under control, no matter how hard he tried. “My gay dads have a great lawyer who can sue for deformation of character!”

“You think this is deforming your character?!” Quinn shrieked, getting to her feet and sticking a finger in Berry’s face. “It announces to the whole school that I can’t even keep my boyfriend under control. Which reminds me,” she snapped around to face Finn, “we will talk about this whole thing later.”

“I’d rather be cheated on than the mistress!” Berry yelled back.

Puck was watching the two girls screaming at each other, completely enthralled. “I vote that we move this outside and get it settled with some mud-wrestling.”

“Shut up, Puckerman,” they both hissed at the same time.

“This has nothing to do with you," Quinn added, narrowing her eyes. "Unless you were the ones who sent out the flyers.”

“Nope. I wish I had though.” Puck sat back, one side of his mouth pulled up.

“Who would do this sort of thing? Who’s evil enough to do it?” Berry questioned, looking around at the whole group.

“I’m evil enough to do it, but I didn’t,” Santana spoke up. “Which is weird…this is totally a me thing to do.”

“Hey,” Kurt spoke up, his face turning ghostly pale, “where’s Evie?”