Cheerio

My blood ran cold in my veins, and I could have sworn that my heart stopped beating completely. If it weren’t for the steady beeping of the monitor next to me, I probably would have started hyperventilating, thinking that I was dying.

“Uh…” Puck started uncomfortably before clearing his throat. “Are you okay?”

“What?” After a second, what he asked sunk in, and I took a deep breath to pull myself together. “Oh, I’m fine. It’s just…I wasn’t really expecting that.”

His eyebrows were still drawn together over his eyes, and he looked like he wanted to sit down with me, to comfort me. Which would do no good if it meant that he wouldn’t graduate from high school in the end.

“Seriously,” I added to calm him a little bit. “I’ll be fine. Go to math class.”

In response, he let out a long groan. “Fine, fine. I’ll see you after school, alright?”

“Shouldn’t you practice for Sectionals? ‘Cause if I’m not going to be there, you guys are going to need a hell of a lot of practice if you’re going to win.”

Puck turned and grinned at me, a big, genuine one that made my heart break a little bit. “Good point. I guess I’ll see you after Glee Club.”

“See you then,” I responded, smiling a little, and waving. It only took about a second for me to regret the wave, though, because when I moved my arm, the needle wiggled around, too.

Once Puck was gone, I grimaced and controlled myself from pulling the thing out of me. I knew that was why the hospital had sedated me, since I overheard the nurse say so, and I figured that it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to think that they would easily put me down again if I actually fulfilled their expectations.

Clicking my teeth together, I looked around the room to see if there was anything I could do. I noticed a TV in the corner, shortly after finding that the remote was way out of my reach. God, couldn’t my parents have put aside something for me to do in case I woke up while they were sleeping?

Although, they probably didn’t think that I’d be waking up for a while…but still.

For a few minutes, I stared at a piece of the wall where there was a chip in the paint, but it didn’t take too long before I was bored. Finally, I sighed loudly, picked up the teddy bear that Puck had brought, and threw it at Garrett’s head.

He woke up with a start, sitting straight up. The hair on one side of his head was either stuck to his face or tangled in a sort of disarray. “What happened?” he questioned way too loudly.

“Shhh!” I snapped at him, putting a finger to my lips to accentuate my point. “Mom is still sleeping.”

Garrett whipped his head around to look at our parents, who were still all snuggled up together, as he ran his hands through his hair to tame it. “Oh, sorry.” When he faced me again, his eyes lit up. “God, Evie…”

He just shook his head as he got to his feet and walked over to me. I didn’t know what he was doing and opened my mouth to ask him, but I couldn’t get a word out before he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed as tightly as he could.

“You scared the shit out of me, little sister,” he mumbled into my hair. When he pulled back, his green eyes were glistening. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“Because it wasn’t a problem,” I mumbled. It took all I could not to stare at my dad accusingly. “I was only…”

“Only what? Evie, you were killing yourself.”

“Could everyone stop saying that? I’d appreciate it. Thanks.”

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Who else have you talked to? You didn’t wake me up right when you got up?”

“No. Puck came to visit before school.” I coughed a little bit into my hand. “But I woke you up pretty soon after he left. I just…kind of wanted something to do.”

He laughed, but it sounded fake and forced to my ears. “Well, I’m glad I could be of assistance.”

There was a moment of silence before Garrett’s stomach broke it, groaning with some sound that was kind of like a Humpback whale getting speared.

I broke out into loud laughter, unable to control myself. “That was so cute!”

“Maybe I should go get some food…” he trailed off as he got to his feet. When he looked down at me, I noticed the dark purple circles under his eyes and felt super guilty that I’d woken him up. Who knew how long it had been since he’d last slept?

I pretended his exhaustion didn’t capture my attention as I nodded jokingly. “Yeah, might be a good idea.”

He started to walk away, but when he was almost to the door, he turned around and opened his mouth. “Do…?”

I cocked an eyebrow with him when he didn’t elaborate. Instead of finishing his statement, he just let the word hang between us for a second before turning and rushing down the hallway, not bothering to pull the door closed after him.

My face filled with a flush as I stared at the teddy bear on the floor. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out that Garrett was going to ask me if I wanted anything at the cafeteria. To which the obvious answer would have been no. Because I’m sick. Diseased.

Swallowing back my emotion, I laid my head against the wall behind my bed and focused on a point on the ceiling. This was one of the major reasons why I never wanted a soul to find out about my eating disorder: it would just cause everyone to treat me differently.

Drawing a deep breath, I ran my left hand, the one that wasn’t attached to the IV, through my hair. And once again, it only took a couple minutes before I started to go bored out of my mind. What was there to do in a hospital room, when I wasn’t even allowed to get off my butt?

Just when I thought about ripping the IV out of my arm and jumping out the window to go back to school, Garrett strolled back in with a tray teeming with all kinds of different breakfast foods. “MOM! DAD!” he yelled, dropping the tray on the mostly-clear table next to my bed. “Breakfast!”

They both blinked a few times, trying to get used to the light in the room, as they pulled away from each other. “You didn’t have to do that,” I muttered to Garrett.

He turned to me, his mouth full with some of the blueberry muffin perched in his hand. Instead of being rude by talking when he knew I wouldn’t understand him, he just smirked at me and shrugged, sending a crumb that had been stuck to his lip plummeting to the floor.

When Mom fixed her eyes on me, she immediately started to cry. I didn’t know if it was the raw emotion of seeing me awake for the first time since she found out my secret or if she was just overtired, but it didn’t really matter.

Her arms locked around my neck and she buried her face into my neck. She was mumbling different statements, probably that I was an idiot and why didn’t I tell her that I was so upset and God, how could I do something like that to myself, but I couldn’t understand a word she said. And, really, I wasn’t dying to know. It would just make me feel a million times more guilty than I already was.

When Mom pulled away, wiping her now bright red eyes and sniffling, she gave me a small smile. “I’m just so glad you’re okay, baby.”

“How are you doing?” Dad asked, stepping forward to pat the top of my head.

My stomach lurched, and I swallowed harshly to keep myself from getting sick. Though, that was probably made a bit easier from the fact that I had absolutely nothing in my stomach.

“Not so hot,” I responded with a tone that was a little harsher that I intended.

He retracted his hand and put it down by his side. After shooting a look at my mother, he took a deep breath. “Look, I know that things are hard for you, but…we’re going to have to talk about the status of this family before…”

“Before you guys send me off to some rehab hospital in Columbus?” I finished for him bitingly.

Dad opened his mouth to answer, but ended up closing it before the words came out. “Yes,” Mom answered instead. “Before you go to your inpatient program.”

“I hope you guys know that I’m going to be missing Sectionals for that dumb thing,” I snapped. “And Nationals, if we get there.”

Mom shrugged. “If it means that you’ll get better, then what other choice do we have, honey? Because it’s obvious that you’re not really able to handle yourself.”

Before I could come up with a retort, she turned away from me and took a bagel off the tray Garrett brought in.

Everyone sat around, eating, mocking me, while I stared at a point on the opposite wall, arms crossed in front of my chest, trying my hardest not to break down and cry right there.