Pearl

Momma made me write two letters.

I sat at the kitchen while she cooked for the girls and paused to rub my back whenever I broke down in tears. “Be strong, Pearl.” I learned that Momma had been strong herself when she was my age. She had to marry Father because Claire had unexpectedly made an appearance. She told all of this to me somberly, as if trying to explain that it really wasn’t so bad, that I would grow to love Jake Merlotta too.

_____

Dear Father,

I am writing this letter to explain what awaits you here at home. I am marrying Jacob Merlotta on the 12h of August, the day after you get back. He’s already sent a letter of his own explaining the situation on franker terms. I, however, cannot bring myself to tell you explicitly why the wedding is so sudden, but Daddy, you’re a smart man and so I am already certain that you understand.

I did not wish to hurt you or Momma. I made a mistake, a rash one. Luckily, Jake is a good man. Please don’t tell Owen, but give him the letter sealed in this envelope. It’s for him.

I hope you still love me. I hope I am still your Pearl.

_____

Owen,

I cannot marry you. I cannot be with you. It is not because I do not want to, rather because I am not as brave and good as I thought I was. I am committed to Jake Merlotta. We will be married in August.

When you come home, I will tell you everything in person.

Pearl

_____

Jake came by every day with flowers or pies that he’d made himself. He had taken it upon himself to learn how to cook, telling me he wanted to be of help in our future home; it certainly was refreshing, but not enough. It also was a peace offering. We had thought we had choices, but now our marriage was not a choice, but the only way I could show my face in our town and maintain my family’s respect.

Momma left us alone for the most part because we had to get to know each other properly in the short three weeks we had until the wedding. It consisted of a lot of hushed conversations over dinner, sitting on the porch and whispering our fears to each other. It certainly felt like everyone hated us because word spread quickly about our upcoming nuptials and we were the all each other had. They talked of my negligent and heartless treatment of Owen Weaver, who had gone out of the country to work for our future. They talked badly of Jake, pointing out his frivolous and malicious play against his own friend. Both Jake and I hadn’t the heart to even fight the gossip because it was all true. Instead, we counted our blessings that they weren’t talking about me having a baby.

It turned out that Jake had a sweetheart of his own in Rhode Island. Her name was Rosie Watson and her brother was the one who had promised Jake the job at the auto shop. Now he had to stay in Tennessee because his connections couldn’t be if he married me and not Rosie.

I’d become resentful towards Jake, but his kindness and his confession about Rosie made me understand that we both had our losses. Our bond grew, but I loved Owen more than anything in the world, even the baby growing in my belly. But I could never say that to anybody, even myself. I liked Jake and did feel closer to him because of our predicament, but he was not Owen. But I was denying those feelings, telling myself that it would be all right.

We announced our engagement and sent out invitations, so I wasn’t surprised when Olive Weaver showed up knocking on my door. Luckily, Jake was there so I didn’t have to face her ire alone. He opened the door slowly and she pounced in without preamble.

“Pearl, how could you do it?” she screeched at me. I was vacuuming the living room floor and stopped, looking up like a deer in headlights. She unplugged the vacuum with her foot and started hollering, “You are a selfish cow! You couldn’t wait four months? You couldn’t wait?!”

Jake came in and cut her off, “Now Olive, don’t yell at her. It’s the way things are gonna be, alright?” he commanded.

“You,” Olive started with narrowed eyes on Jake, “You are not even half the man my brother is!”

She exhaled an enraged shriek and stormed out of the house. I blankly stared after her and Jake nervously watched me, expecting another breakdown. Instead, I dwelled in my numbness and plugged the vacuum in again.

Jake sighed, sat back down on the couch, and continued reading the newspaper.