Pearl

I rushed Jake into the car. He was bleeding everywhere and so I tore a piece of my nightgown off to hold onto his face. He groaned as I started the engine.

“Honey, we are almost there,” I murmured under my breath.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, “How’s the-“

“Baby’s fine!” I assured him. His face was unrecognizable.

When we arrived, Doctor Little rushed to our sides. Momma and Father came around too. It turned out Jake had a broken nose and awful bruises, but he’d be fine. Father greeted Jake with, “Well, I wish I could tell you that you didn’t deserve it.”

Jake said nothing, but nodded his head. He rested his head on my lap and ran my fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry,” I said to him, pressing my lips on his forehead. He smiled, “I’m not dyin’ or anything,” he replied and slowly sat up. “I’ve gotta go home,” he said.

“No. Stay,” I said, “Come home with us.” I looked to my parents. Father shrugged. “You’re sleeping on the couch. I hope you know that,” he muttered.

“No. I’m fine. Go home with your Momma. I’ll be fine,” he said as he got up and pulled on his blood-stained shirt.

I started to protest, but he lifted his head up tiredly. “Pearl. Go on home. I’m fine. He won’t come back.” He lifted a hand up to pat the top of my head. “Can you give me a ride home though?”

I nodded even though I was frustrated. He took my hand and we walked out. “Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Wilson,” he called out. Momma and Father waved gruffly, as if happy to have reached a verdict of the day’s messy happenings. As soon as they were out of sight, Jake stopped and pushed me against the car. “What are you doing?” I asked. He softly ran his lips against my mouth. He pulled away and looked at me. It was almost comical because his nose was bandaged up and his eyes were swollen almost completely shut. “I love you too,” he said.

I stared at him. Before I could stop it, tears were pouring out of my eyes and I began to sob. I threw my arms around him. He lifted me up and kissed my neck. “Shh. We’re gonna be alright. Shhh. I love you.”

I pulled away and laughed. “You look terrible,” I commented. He tried to look offended. “How dare you?” he retorted and attempted a smile.

I drove him home, but didn't go home. I spent the whole day making him comfortable, making him soups and scratching his head until he could finally doze off. Finally, night began to creep its way in. Jake tried to get me to stay. “What’s the worst that could happen?” he said, nipping at my neck and playing with the ties of my torn nightgown. I laughed. “Probably nothing,” I replied, letting him slip a hand onto my bare breast. I was about to shift out of my ensemble altogether when I stopped. “No. No, I’ve gotta go,” I said.

Jake nodded. “I know,” he said, “Pressin’ my luck is all. I really don’t want your daddy to hate me any more than he already does.”

I laughed and kissed him goodbye.

When I arrived home, I washed up and went straight to bed, exhausted from my wretched day. It wasn’t too long after till I heard a knock at the window. I turned the nightlight on, waking Jane. “Pearl, what is it?” she asked. I saw him through the glass. He gestured down.

“Jane. Don’t tell Momma or Father,” I whispered as I put my shoes on. She nodded, but murmured urgently, “Be careful!”

Owen was on the porch by the time I got down. He had climbed up the railing closest to my window. “Owen,” I whispered, “What do you want?” Frankly, I was very upset about what he’d done to Jake.

“Come with me,” he whispered, reaching his bulky arms out. I wondered if he’d been drinking. “I don’t care if it’s his baby in there. I don’t care anymore.”

“Oh Owen, go home.”

He slowly started closing the distance between us. “Then just for tonight. Just come with me for tonight.”

Owen reached out for me and I found myself creeping towards him, like a moth to light. “Owen,” I whispered. Then he harshly grabbed me kissed me hard on the mouth. He had always been so soft. Now, there was no reason for that kind of overbearing self-restraint. He pulled away and led me onto the street. I followed him. I didn’t care that I was in my nightgown or that it was three in the morning. In that moment, I would have followed him anywhere.

“You love him?” he whispered when we got to his house. I didn’t say anything for a long moment, just watched him unlock the door.

“I do,” I replied quietly, “ He’s a good man.”

Owen looked pained. “Is Olive home?” I asked.

“No. She’s in Nashville visiting a friend.”

I breathed out a relieved sigh. He looked at me with a mixture of hatred and adoration. I had no idea what to make of it.

“How far along are you?” he asked me. I felt my heart sink.

“Two months,” I replied. He took a moment, as if doing mental math. He then looked down, glowering at the floor. “You want a coffee?” he asked.

“Sure,” I replied. He stomped to the kitchen with me on his tails. I sat down at the kitchen table and traced circles on my palm. Owen clambered about; I could tell he was angry because everything was just too loud. I started to get scared and finally breathed out, “If you brought me here to punish me, I’d rather go home.”

He placed a mug on the table for me and took a sip of his own. Then he guffawed, “I don’t even know where to begin with you.”

Taking the drink, I met his cold blue stare. “Why’d you do it?” he asked.

“Don’t do this,” I whispered.

“I deserve this. I deserve to know.”

He looked desperate. There was stubble on his pale face and his eyes were rimmed with red. “I didn’t even think about what I was doing,” I murmured, “It just happened.”

“When?”

I paused. “You know the night of your match in Paris?”

Owen hissed under his breath, “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”

“No. I went with Jake that night.”

“And you didn’t think of me at all. You heard that some girl kissed me and decided to go ahead and sleep with Merlotta?”

“Of course I thought of you,’ I protested.

“And it happened once?”

“That’s all it takes, right?” I said with a roll of my eyes.

“Don’t get smart tonight, okay?” Owen grumbled.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I’ve been so moody lately.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance to fight for you. You didn’t give me a fucking chance,” he said monotonously, “You just made the decision for all of us.”

I started feeling a burning in my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“I had plans for us. I was working hard for us.” He looked up resentfully, “But coming home to your girl and finding out she’s pregnant with some asshole’s baby doesn’t really leave room for romance.”

“I have to live with this for the rest of my life. I know. I know I’ve made a great mistake,” I said.

He looked up and stared at me for a long time. “I want to make love to you tonight.”

“What?” I whispered.

“You heard me.”

He grabbed my hand. I could feel the tension between us, waiting on my decision. “Yes,” I murmured.

Owen got up and lifted me into his arms. “I loved you,” he said, pressing his face in my hair, “I’m trying to convince myself I don’t anymore.”

I felt wounded, but nodded. “I hope you’ll be happy,” I whispered.

He carried me up to his bedroom, a place I’d never been before. The walls were a dark navy blue and there were pictures of him and Olive all about. “Great room,” I murmured as he set me on my feet. Owen ignored my nervous comment.

He stood behind me and undid the ties on my robe. The he shifted the straps of the nightgown so that the entire thing fell to my feet. I stood naked. He breathed into my neck, cupping my breasts and whispering, “I want you.” I began to tremble and so I turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. He carried me to the bed and lay me down, his eyes tracing my body.

“You’re so different,” he said angrily.

It was true. There was just more of me. My breasts, my stomach, my hips –they were all softer, rounder. Owen followed the curves intently, and then he stopped at my abdomen. He knelt his head down, pressing his ear against the skin. “It should be mine,” he said.

I said nothing.

Owen recovered and lifted his head up. I watched as he shrugged out of his shirt. And then I helped him unbuckle his pants. He watched me work on the belt and clasp with a disturbed expression on his face. When we were free of clothes, he hurried to press his body against mine, making me groan. “Owen,” I said.

“Yes, Pearly?” he whispered and ran his lips down my chest, blowing hot air on my navel. He looked up at me from below and smiled at the frustration on my face. I pulled him up and ran my hands up his bare chest and back. He moaned and finally joined his hips to mine. I watched him as he gently thrust into me.

Owen opened his eyes as he moved, meeting my stare.

It was like we were saying goodbye.