At The Toss Of A Coin

“I knew you’d be here early,” was the first thing he said and he sounded like he was smiling.

I knew that voice, I knew it well. Slowly I turned around on my heels and looked at him, my heart somewhere near my boots. This was not what I had expected.

I didn’t know what or who I had expected, but it was not him. Never would I have thought that he knew me so well and that he would put so much effort into making me happy. He was one of the more mellow hockey boys, sure, but no one would think he could and would do something like this.

Seeing him there had really made me speechless, not even my mind could form a proper sentence, let alone my mouth. The only thing I seemed capable of was staring at him. The silence between us grew and I knew I had to say something, but still didn’t know what.

“Brad,” I got out finally. His name, but at least I had said something. It seemed to make him snap out of his trance.

“Kate,” he said my name, too, trying a hesitant smile. In his hands he had a yellow gerbera daisy and another envelope. “I’m glad you came.”

“Me too,” I practically whispered. As unexpected as this was, I really was glad that Rose had made me come here. I could have never forgiven myself, if I hadn’t. Just like my Mom had said. “Thank you for... everything. It was really sweet.”

His smile widened. “I was hoping you’d like it and not think it was creepy or something like that.”

“A little bit at first, but not really,” I admitted. “I didn’t think you knew me so well...”

“Well, yeah...” He seemed a little embarrassed, tugging on the beanie that covered his head. “I pay attention, I guess.”

I nodded slowly. The one burning question was always the ‘why’. Why did he do it? What was his motive/motivation? I just didn’t know if I could come right out with that.

“Here, these are for you,” Brad said quickly then and handed me the gerbera and the envelope.

“Thank you,” I managed a crooked smile and smelled the flower although I knew it wouldn’t smell sweet. Just the scent of fresh flowers was wonderful to me though. Holding the flower carefully I managed to open the envelope and removed a Valentine’s Day card from it.

Be my Valentine

I swallowed and slowly looked up at Brad, who had stuck his hands into his pockets to protect them against the cold. The way he stood there was so typical for Brad Miller, it made me smile a little. You could tell he was nervous, anyone in his (or my) position would be though. It was very understandable, too, he had put a lot of work and heart into this.

“Will you?” he asked and I knew what he meant, but he clarified anyway. “Be my Valentine?”

In Germany we didn’t really have the tradition of being someone’s Valentine and Valentine’s Day like it was done in the states. This whole chocolate kisses, glittery, pink/red explosion was particular for North America. I’d gotten a few Valentine’s cards before, many years ago, but somewhere between middle and high school that stopped. During that time I’d forgotten how nice it actually was.

“Yes,” I managed to get out finally, nodding slightly. His face lit up and that made me smile, too. It had just come out on its own, I hadn’t really thought about my answer, but the look on his face made it worth it.

.

Being Millsy’s Valentine included being taken out to a nice restaurant and on a walk around the block after dinner, when we didn’t really feel like parting yet. He showed me the good manners you never expect hockey players to have and the entire night he gave me the feeling that his attention was all on me.

Really, I’d never given the hockey guys a second thought like that, but throughout the night I suddenly realized how stupid that had been. I’d seriously been missing out, especially with Brad. Not anymore though, I decided.

“Can I ask you something?” I said slowly, while we were still on that walk. It was dark and the air was crisp and cold, but the street lights offered sufficient lighting and if you kept moving, you were nicely warm in your North Dakota-appropriate winter clothing.

“Sure.” My arm was looped around his, which came in handy when the snow on the ground was slippery and I almost lost my footing. It wasn’t surprising that Brad stood solidly on the icy surface, he was used to it.

“Why did you do it?” I asked slowly. He took a moment to answer.

“Because I like you, Kate,” he told me, looking at me from the side.

“No, I mean... why this way? Why with all the secret presents and the envelopes? Why did you do it like that?” We stopped walking and I looked back at him, curious to hear what he had to say.

“I’m a sophomore, you’re a junior. I didn’t really think you were going to say yes, if I’d just asked you out. I wasn’t sure if you liked me back, so I thought this way I could do some nice things for you and if you hated it, I wouldn’t need to ‘fess up, it could stay a secret forever,” he admitted.

Just then it reoccurred to me that he indeed was a year younger than me. I’d forgotten about that, but it was a reasonable explanation. Never had I given any of the guys any kind of sign I was interested and as a sophomore guy, I guess it was kind of risky asking out a junior girl. The hockey guys never really applied to that rule though, especially guys like TJ didn’t think about stuff like that twice and the girls didn’t care as long as they had bedded a hockey player.

“Yeah, I can understand that,” I said finally trying a small smile. Relief showed on his face and he offered me his arm again. I linked mine through his and we continued our walk.

“What was your favorite one?”

“My favorite present?” He nodded. “I think the books, they’re really hard to come by around here.”

“Good ole Amazon,” he grinned, I squeezed his arm. “Getting them shipped here was a bit of a challenge though, yea.”

“You saved me from having to re-read my Mom’s awful collection of romance novels,” I chuckled.

“You’re welcome,” Millsy laughed and held onto my tightly when I slipped on another slippery patch of sidewalk. “Careful.”

“I’m not usually like this,” I defended myself, but he only laughed.

“Do I make you nervous?” he teased with a smile. “That’s okay, Kate, I’ll hold onto you, no worries.”

I rolled my eyes, there was always a cocky part in every hockey player. With Millsy I could tell he was just playing though, so it was okay. Some of the other guys sounded mighty sure of themselves and it really made me want to knock them one.

“Here we are,” I said slowly when we reached my building. Brad’s car was parked across the street, covered in the light sheet of snow that had fallen in the mean time.

“I had a really good time, Brad,” I told him and he grinned happily. “Thank you for doing this.”

“It was fun, you’re welcome,” he smiled and leaned down to give me a short parting hug. Only I moved slightly and pressed my lips to his.

All night I had been thinking of this, what I would do when the date was over and while I had discovered that I could really like Brad (and I kind of already did), this was what I had been unsure of. I’d never thought about kissing him, but I was curious and for a moment I had that daring attitude that Rose was trying to rub off on me. Brad was completely still for a second, but then he kissed me back, putting his arms around me to pull me closer. It was a little bit like one of those cheesy scenes in a romantic movie, dark night, softly falling snow, a quiet street, no interruptions.

He looked surprised, when we pulled apart, and stunned. “I didn’t expect that,” he whispered. I smiled.

“I didn’t expect you,” I replied quietly and then he smiled, too.

.
While Millsy and I had been out, I’d had my phone on completely silent, not even a vibration alarm. When I checked it after I got up to my room, I knew why: already I had two missed calls and a handful of texts from Rose and TJ. Rose probably asking who the secret admirer was and TJ complaining that I was keeping his girlfriend from sleeping with him. Oh well.

“Oh my God, you finally answer! Tell me who is it?!” Rose answered her phone almost immediately. I laughed.

“We were right, it was a hockey guy,” I told her with a grin, purposely drawing it out.

“See! I knew it! I was right, Timmy!” she exclaimed to her boyfriend, whom I could hear grumbling in the background like before.

“For Christ’s sake, tell her who the fuck it is, Mrs Clause, I can’t stand another minute of this!” he complained at me after he had hijacked the phone.

“Fine. It’s Brad,” I chuckled, knowing that Rose would hate me for telling TJ first and not her.

“Miller? Are you serious?!” In the background you could immediately hear Rose starting to yell.

“Are you serious? It’s Millsy?” And she had her phone back.

“Yup,” I smiled. For how scared I was to find out before, I was actually pretty happy about the outcome now.

“I never would have guessed,” she pouted.

“Me neither, but that was the point, I think. Anyway, I’ll let you get back to your boyfriend now and please don’t send a mass text to everyone.”

“Aww, there goes all my fun, but fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, Kate, bye.”