At The Toss Of A Coin

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I spit out lowly and took a sip of my apple-juice-in-disguise-in-a-beer-bottle.

“What do you mean?” Rose sipped on whatever concoction she had in her red plastic cup. We were already well into the night and the party, which meant that everything was quickly becoming rowdier and rowdier. Everyone but me was at the very least buzzed, many well on their way to drunk and a couple already there. I wondered how many would find a bed on the floor and how many I would have to cart around to their own beds later. Then again, it was New Year’s Eve and that enhanced everything.

“Girl that’s up on Chay? She’s been trying to get with everyone on the team she can,” I told her, trying to gauge how drunk Chay was, how hard the bitch was coming onto him to judge how long it would be until I’d have to step in.

“I’ve seen TJ with her,” Rose pointed out and I almost dropped my bottle. My eyes flew to her, but she seemed almost completely unaffected, her tone had been even, like she had just been talking about the weather.

“Are you serious?” I looked at her with wide eyes. “It doesn’t bother you?!” If, hypothetically speaking, I liked one of the hockey guys and I’d have seen him go around with the puck sluts, then there would be a quick end to me liking him. A very quick end.

“It’s not like we’re exclusive or in any type of relationship, we’re just fuck buddies,” Rose shrugged and I was pretty sure I could hear some frustration in her voice even if she tried her hardest not to let it show.

“Is that why you’re here with 3G now?” I asked her with a raised eyebrow. She looked at me slowly, smiling slightly probably at the nickname we had given the ‘Gorgeous Greek God’ of a hockey player. “If you thought no one would notice, you thought wrong. What was up at that snowball fight?”

Winter in North Dakota was brutal and there was a lot of snow. A lot of snow. Every now and then that inspired us all to have a giant snowball fight with anyone that would join in. Usually we had pre-mediated teams and a set area where everything was to go down and afterwards the Grand Forks based parents and families were having everything over for some hot chocolate and cookies. It was always a lot of fun and everyone resembled snow men and women afterwards, no matter which team they had been on.

It had been the same way this year, Rose and I had been on the losing team, but that never mattered other than for bragging rights until the next war. Also on our team had been Chris VandeVelde, which turned out much different than I had expected. Rose had never expressed any interest whatsoever in any of the hockey guys other than TJ, so I wasn’t the only one that was really surprised that they stayed together for the entire fight, always seeking cover together, laughing, nudging and shoving each other, even throwing snow at each other every now and then. If I hadn’t known better, I would have said there was something blooming between them.

“Nothing, we were just helping each other out,” Rose answered finally and I didn’t know who to believe, her pretending it wasn’t a big deal or my women’s intuition telling me there was more to it than she was letting on.

“Don’t get hurt,” I said softly, but she just shrugged. It was easy to get caught up in this team, the guys were just too great unfortunately, but she was my friend, too, and I didn’t want to see her get tangled up and hurt in this. TJ would never tolerate Vandy asking Rose out, together or not, because that’s just not what teammates do. Then again Rose deserved so much better than TJ only coming to her for one thing and one thing only. Vandy would give her that. It was a difficult situation.

It became even more of a difficult situation a little later that night. TJ was to be found wildly making out, not to say having sex with (a little) clothes on, in the kitchen with Rose hightailing it out of that direction and Vandy following her quickly. If TJ saw it, it didn’t bother him, but I was definitely exchanging some looks and raised eyebrows with Jonny and Chay, who had fortunately chucked the puck slut. This could only end ugly.

.

“Ich weiß nicht was ich tun soll,” (I don’t know what to do,) I groaned and grabbed one of the pillows off my bed and covered my face with it.

“Oh, Schatz” (Oh, honey,) my Mom sounded like she was smiling. “Es ist eine schwierige Entscheidung.“ (It’s a difficult decision.)

“Was würdest du tun?” (What would you do?) I lifted the pillow so I could speak. I wished I could have gone home and seen her about this, but there was no time. I had exactly 2 hours until I had to be at the meeting point, if I was going, and that was just not going to cut it.

“Wenn ein Mann sich die Zeit nehmen würde all diese Dinge über mich herauszufinden und so viele süße Dinge für mich zu tun, ich glaube ich wäre zu neugierig um nicht hinzugehen. Aber ich bin nicht du, Schatz, es ist deine Entscheidung.” (If a guy took the time to find out all these things about me and do so many sweet things for me, I think I would be too curious not to go. But I’m not you, honey, it’s your decision.)

“Ich habe einfach Angst, dass es alles verändern wird,” (I’m just scared it will change everything,) I sighed and stuffed the pillow under my head.

“Es wird alles verändern, ob du hingehst oder nicht, Anni. Ich bin ziemlich sicher, dass du es auf die eine oder andere Art herausfinden wirst, ob du nun hingehst oder nicht,“ (It will change everything whether you go or not, Anni. I’m pretty sure you’d find out one way or the other, if you go or not,) Mom pointed out softly.

“Ja, ich weiß. Ich hab einfach nur Angst,“ (Yes, I know. I’m just scared,) I sighed. “Danke, Mama, ich muss jetzt gehen.” (Thanks, Mama, I gotta go now.)

“Lass mich wissen wie es gelaufen ist, okay?” (Let me know how it went, okay?) she requested eagerly and I let out a laugh.

“Ja, Mama, ich lasse es dich wissen,” (Yes, Mama, I will let you know,) I promised and we hung up.

“Great. That didn’t help,” I muttered to myself and pulled the pillow from under my head again to put it over my face. “ARGH!” I screamed into it, the fluffy material swallowing the volume.

Basically my mother had said what everyone else had said, too. If I went, I’d find out who it was and that would change things. If I didn’t go, I’d give the guy a clear signal and that would change things, too. If I didn’t go, I would probably still find out somehow, too. In other words: was I going to be a chicken shit about finding out or not? Was I going to tackle it head first or not?

I chucked the pillow into a corner and turned onto my stomach, my eyes grazing the Tintenherz (Inkheart) book that was on my nightstand still. As I saw it, I came to a realization. My mother was right. If a guy took the time to do all these things for me, invest so much into showing me he liked me, then who was I to behave like a scared, spoiled brat and deny him? The very least I could do was to turn up at the meeting point, find out who my secret admirer was and thank him for everything he did for me, in case it turned out to be someone I didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t like. I had better manners than that.

Picking up my phone I quickly found Rose’s number and dialed it, waiting for her to pick up.

“This better be good, Christ-man,” TJ growled into the phone, breathing hard. I rolled my eyes and blushed at the same time, knowing what I had just interrupted.

“Sorry, Oshie, but this is more important than you getting laid. Let me talk to Rose,” I told him and only had to wait a moment. With TJ complaining in the background Rose was quick to answer her phone herself.

“Kate? What’s up? Are you going?” she asked eagerly and if I hadn’t been so nervous, I would have laughed.

“Yeah, I think I am,” I said slowly. She let out a victory scream and I could hear TJ cursing the high volume.

“Oh my God! I’m coming over there now!” she promised immediately.

“The fuck you are!” TJ roared.

“Shut up or I’m not coming back,” Rose threatened and I let out a laugh. It looked like I would live to see the day TJ Oshie was whipped. Nice. “Be there in a few, bye.” Rose hung up and I dropped my phone next to me on the bed.

“Oh my God, what am I doing?!” I asked into the empty room.

I was going to meet my secret admirer. In one hour and 43 minutes.