Our Guide.

You know that saying all good things come to an end? Yeah, well, that seems to be the story of my life. Well more like the pharse of my life, if you want to get real technical. It seems every time something good happens to me, or something that at least makes me hate my extistance a little bit less, something comes along and screws it up. It's almost as if I'm not meant to have fun, not allowed to laugh and just not have a care in the world. And yeah, it sucks. It sucks real bad.

Like when I was with Sam? Yeah, I let my walls down. Just a little bit, though. But a little is better than none at all, I guess. It was nice to laugh with someone. It was nice to be a normal teenager, instead of being judged by how I act when I'm not being all.. well, normal Zeke, I guess. It was nice to play video games and it was nice to relax and watch stupidly funny movies and eat junk food - which I'm going to pay for that if my mom found out I put that fattening shit in my body and blood stream.

She doesn't know I skipped school. She doesn't know that I skipped school with someoen who I'm slowly start to consider my friend... sort of. We're getting there. It's gunna take some time but I'm slowly starting to feel that feeling of trust that builds up when you spend time with someone in the bottom of my stomach and heart. I can trust Sam, can't I? He seems really nice. He seems cool. Hell, he's trying to be my friend. If it was anyone else who was suddenly taking an interest in my life, then I would have ran for the hills. But Sam, he's different. He doesn't seem like he has any bad intentions, so I guess I can try just a bit harder because let's be honest, I haven't exactly made it all that easy for him to sit around. I've been trying to push him away. But I can see now that I kinda don't wanna.

I was in the middle of sneaking around downstairs, careful to not wake my mom before I left for school and she apparently was going into work later than usual, when I heard the angry breathing of the devil herself. Everyone assumes the devil is a male, but they haven't met my mother. I freeze with a small cereal bowl in my hand and my other holding a half empty box of Coco Puffs - they're my favorite - and my heart rate picked up imensily.

With shaking hands, I set the bowl down as gently I could, and closed the box of my sweet goodness, a sadness coming over me as I realized I wasn't gunna be eating again before school. I probably was gunna get something else in it's place though. I dared to turn around but I knew I had too. I didn't want too. God, how I didn't want too. But I had too. Taking a deep breath, I turned around slowly and visibily flinched when I saw my mother glaring cold and hard at me, and looked down at my scruffed converse that were in desparte need in repair with duct tape.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked slow and menicing and if I thought my shaking was bad before, it was multiplied now. I could feel the temors in my whole body, jerking the muscles uncomfortably.

"J- just getting something to eat. I'm really h- hungry and I won't be eating until lunch and I just wanted some cereal before I left." I muttered, my stuttering most definitely not going unnoticed. I knew I was gunna pay for my slip up by the way her eyes hardened even more. It happened quickly. I almost didn't even see her move.

She grabbed the nearest solid item, a rolling pin, and smacked me across the face. Hard. I yelped before I could stop myself and dropped to the floor like a rag doll. I cowered in the corner where the fridge met the corner of the wall, and held my arms up in the best defense I could muster up. It wasn't much, but some was better than none.

A small whimper it out of my mouth as she came closer, and I shook my head rapidly, my head spinning from both the hit to the head and the quickness my head was moving at. She stopped then, and stared at me as if she's never seen me afraid of her before.

"I'm sorry!" I blurted the words out before I could stop them and she stopped any and all movements and just stared down at me with disgust, like I was the most pathetic thing she's ever seen. Which in a way, I guess I kinda am. "It won't happen again, I promise. I'm sorry." I don't even know why I was apologizing for trying to eat but I was. I was apologizing for something I despartely needed for my body to function correctly so my organs don't shut down and put me in the hospital. Or kill me. Which I suppose wouldn't nessarily be a complete bad thing if I did die, but still.

"It better not happen again, you hear me?" She growled lowly and I nodded and mumbled a weak 'yes' in reply so I wouldn't get hit again, or kicked. "Get your ass outta here. And take that stupid mutt with you. If I have to hear that annoying bark one more time, I'll get rid of her myself."

My eyes widened in fear. She just threatened to kill my dog. To kill my Boomer. The only thing I left in this poor excuse of a human life. The only thing I knew that always be there for me. The only stable thing that kept me sane - from completely losing my mind and killing myself before my mom killed me herself. I shook my head. I couldn't tell if it was a 'yes' or a 'no' but whatever it was, my mom wasn't completely satisfied with it and kicked at my shin before stomping back up the stairs and slamming the door shut.

Not wanting to be there any longer than I had too, I jumped to my feet on shaking legs and ran upstairs, grabbed a random pair of jeans, a simple t-shirt and a baggy pullover purple hoodie and ran down stairs, grabbed my bag from the its normal spot near the door and called Boomer to my side and collasped to my knees and threw my arms over her neck and hugged her close to me. I took a few minutes to calm myself down before leaning back away from her. She nudged her wet nose against my brusing cheek and I cringed.

There's no way someone won't see that. It's there in the open, and I don't have any make-up to cover it up with at all. I'm just gunna have to make something up and avoid looking at people even more than I already do.

I froze though once I was completely straightened out. Sam. Sam was gunna see this bruise. There was no doubt he would. And Evan, but for some reason I'm not that concerned if Evan noticed it. I'm more worried about Sam seeing it. What would I say to him? Oh, I just ran into a door? That line is always used and no one believes it anymore. It would be a dead giveaway of what was going on with me at home.

Shit, shit, shit.

And there's no avoiding him. Not after the day we had. We're finally getting on friendly terms, I can't just up and avoid him because of a bruise on my face. I'm just gonna have to come up with something that would make sense. But what would? I ran a hand down my face and winced at the sharp flare of pain when I hit the bruise. My mother really did a good number on me.

I sighed and shoved my hands into my pockets and started walking towards school, Boomer following close behind. I looked at her. Her tail was wagging back and forth and she seemed geniually happy. "We can't stop and get anything to eat today, girl, I'm sorry." Her tail faltered a bit as if she understod completely what I said. But it started wagging again, but not with the same... enthuisaism as it was before.

It didn't take long before I could see the school in the distance and my stomach began to churn uncomfortably. I looked down at the ground, and watched my shoes hit the conceret with every step I took. Each step that took nearer and nearer to where Sam and Evan would be in about five minutes. Or maybe they're already there, waiting for me. I didn't know and I didn't look up when I came to my usual waiting spot and sat down on the ground and rested my chin on my knees. I shook my hair and hoped it hid the worse part of my bruise.

I sat there for about a total of three minutes before I could hear the loud voice of Evan talking about whatever it was he was talking about - wow, vague much? I smirked to myself but it vanished when I saw the front of someone's shoes come to stop in front of me. They were one's I've never seen before, so slowly and kinda nervously looked up and met the eyes of Evan. A breath of relief left my lips quickly and hoped they didn't notice it.

If they did, though, they didn't say anything about it. I caught Sam's eye and my heart did this insanely weird stuttering thing and my breath caught just slightly. Seriously. What is it with this shit? It's been happening lately and I don't know what it means or how to deal with or anything. It scares me, a little. I looked down quickly though, trying to hide the blush that crept over me behind my long hair and my bruise.

"Did you get new shoes?" I asked suddenly, and honestly don't know where that question came from. Like, seriously Zeke? Did you get new shoes? What the fuck? I mentally smacked myself but Evan didn't seem to care. He beamed happily and nodded.

"Yep! Sure did. You like?" He stuck a foot in my face suddenly and I jerked back, not expecting a foot to suddenly be in my face. Unfortunetly, the jerk moved my hair just the right way and I just knew they caught sight of the bruise there. Fuck me. Shit. Shit. SHIT! I internally started freaking out when Evan spoke next.

"Dude, that's a fucking killer bruise." He stared at it with eyes wide and I just didn't know what to say, I paniced and so I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind,

"I ran into a door."

And double shit. Why does my life have to work this way? Why? Evan looked at my susipicously, his eyes narrowing at me and I chose to not do anything else that would give away what really happened. I didn't dare look at Sam, though I could feel his gaze on me intently and I couldn't bring myself to look him the eye and lie.

"You ran into a door?" Evan asked slowly, his narrowed eyes never leaving me. My hand reached out on it's own accord and touched Boomer, giving my limbs something to do.

"I - I mean, yeah. Y'know? The door got jammed somehow and I guess I pulled too hard and my hand slipped off the doorknob and hit my cheek. So really I punched myself in the face on accident?" The last part came out as a question but I don't know if they caught on to that. Evan's look of susipicion vanished just like that, and he was nodding.

"That's totally happened with me! Though it wasn't a really a door but yeah, I know what you mean." He smiled and again, a breath of relief escaped out of me. "You should be careful, though, don't want to damage that pretty face of yours too badly now do you?" My eyes went wide as did Sam's and I stuttered for a response to that. I could just feel my face heating up quickly and I looked down so they wouldn't see.

Oh my - I can't believe he just said that too me! Like, what does - what is the proper response to that? Is there even a comeback to that? Like, what the hell? I risked a glance at Sam and he had some kind look in his eyes I couldn't place and a light blush on his cheeks.

Huh. Weird.

I bit my lip as he caught me looking and I looked away sheepily, and did my best to cover my bruise better and stood when kids started piling into the school building. I brushed off the dirt from my butt and thighs and didn't acknowledge it when I caught a quick glimsp of Sam watching my hands. I just said bye to my dog and arkwardly stood there waiting for someone to move first or say something.

It was Even that did so. "Come now, let's get to class. I don't want anymore detention." Sam snorted at that and Even glared and smacked him over the head as we bagan walking.

I stayed a bit behind them and only looked up when I felt someone beside me. It was Sam. Of course. He looked down at me and his eyes ran over the deep bruise on my face and a light scowl overtook his features.

"Did one of the kids punch you, Zeke?" My heart sped up and I couldn't get out of it now. I had to lie to him. I hate lying but... he just can't know about my mom. I don't trust him enough, we're not even really "friends" at this point, and right now, it's none of his buisness, but I found myself shaking my head at his question.

"It was just my own clusiness, I swear. It's nothing. It'll be gone in a day or two," That is, if my mom doesn't fly off the handle and hit me again. "I'm used to these kind of things."

I snapped my mouth shut after that escaped my lips and I just seriously need to not speak anymore. I met Sam's gaze and shrugged lightly. As far as he knew, it was me saying I was used to getting punched by kids at school. That's all he needed to know, that's all he's gunna know even if it's never happened. None of the kids here have actually punched me. It's just shoves and words. But again, Sam doesn't know that.

And I don't think he ever will.

~

I decided about half way through first period, that I was going to leave campus to eat lunch. Or well, just escape. Get fresh air and relax. I didn't exactly have any money to buy lunch and I didn't want to bum off Sam or Evan for money. I didn't need their money. I didn't need their help with my personal issues. Sure, they seemed concerned and worried and that they actually seem to care if I go hungry but I hate feeling like I need help from someone. I've had the choice but to take the food Sam offered, I didn't want to seem like a prick, so I took it. But I don't need it. I don't need the feeling that it very well be a charity act when I know damn good and well it's not.

I sighed when the bell rang that dismissed for lunch and I was almost too the double doors that would let me free when I heard someone yelling after me.

"Hey, Zeke, wait." I turned and saw Evan jogging over to me. I stopped and waited patiently for him to say what it was he was going too. I didn't, however, expect him to ask, "If you're gunna leave the school to eat lunch, can me and Sam come with you?"

I was stumped. My mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out. Did I want to spend more time with them than I really wanted to today? Well, kinda.

I bit my lip as I looked into his eyes, excitedly and patiently waiting for my answer. I saw Sam come from somewher around the corner and he smiled when he spotted me, walking up to stand next to his best friend. I looked between them, caught between a rock and a hard place.

"Please?" He drug the word out longer than he needed too and gave me puppy dog eyes. "We won't bug you for the rest of the day."

I couldn't help the snort that escaped. That was a lie. They never knew when to stop but I'm slowly, very slowly, starting to accept that. I didn't want too but I found myself doing so anyway. I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes, the answer already seeming obivous. But I guess they just wanted me to say it outloud.

Evan grinned at me I opened my mouth and said, rather recultantly, "Yeah, I guess so."