Inhault Abuse

I felt my heart beat faster as I panicked. I didn't know what to do as my eye's darted from side to side. The customer's in the store looking at Gerard and I with confused glares. I dropped the cigarettes that I held tight in my hand's and gazed up at Gerard, his worried hazel eye's confused and a bit frighten. "Frank, what's going on?" he asked again as he tried to touch the bruise on my left cheek. I dodge him and ran out the store."Frank!" I heard him yell after me but I ran as tear's rolled down my face. "He knows!" I said to myself, scared that he might say something to anyone. If he does and my father finds out, I don't think I can bare a brutal beating again.

I rushed into the house, stumbling over the stairs. As I did, I gasped as I realized I forgot my dad's cigarettes. Lucky as I walked up the stairs he was already sprawled out on to his bed with beer laying around the floor, his snoring loud and rough. I walked into my room and sighed as I say a large spot of blood on the floor. I walked into the bathroom and wet a towel, clutching it tightly as I cleaned up the spot, using a large amount of bleach, scrubbing and scrubbing as my back ached. I finally got the spot s clean as I could then through it in the dirty clothes. I sighed as I realize I needed a shower.

I peeled off my clothes slowly as I looked at the back of my t-shirt it had blood on the back. I pulled off my pants and boxer's and shudder as I saw the blood spot on my underwear. I through them on the floor and ran to the toilet, throwing up my lunch, I felt sick every time I saw that. The thought making me want to die inside. I turned on he hot water and walked into the hot, steamy pouring water feel over my battered figure. I wanted to scream as my back stung. Tear's running down my face as I slid on the bathtub, rocking back and forth as I brought my red, carpet skinned knees to my chest. I hated to cry, I really did. I don't understand why, why can't I control my tear's? If I was more of a man than my father wouldn't hurt me so much. If I acted, walking around with confidence, maybe my father wouldn't 'mistake' me for a girl and fuck me every single night. As the tears slowly fell into silent sobs. I turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around my thin waist.

I walked into my room, limping mostly as I was still sobbing, hating the life I have. I put on old pajamas and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling out a pocket knife from my night stand. The bright red handle held against my sweaty palm's. I brought my wrist out and laid it on my thigh. I haven't done this in awhile, but I felt the urge kicking in. I remember telling myself to stop this, but the feeling came back and I need it. I let the short blade press deep against my pale skin, I slowly smooth the blade over making a beautiful line, red as blood leaked down from my wrist, a small smile place softly across my face. The crimson liquid dripped down on my thigh. I kept making more and more slit's on my arm, the blood rushing making my heart rate increase, the feeling of being in control of the one thing. It felt good and I couldn't resist, the lovely self inflicted pain.

I sighed as I counted the twelve slit's on my arm. The bright red color on my pale skin making it stand out, I laid on my bed as the throbbing pain made me smile, the fact that I control it made me feel dominating. I felt my eye's close as I let the knife fall on the floor making a thumping sound as it hit the ground.

I woke up with blood all over the sheet's. I groaned as my back was hurting like hell. I sat up from th bed and saw the blade on the floor. I picked it up and put it back in my drawer. I saw my wrist, dried blood and fresh cut's looked wonderful, so beautiful in my sick eye's. I walked to the hallway and passed my father's room, he wasn't there, so he must have went to work. I decided to pass on the shower and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I picked a form fitting hoodie, baggy, straight leg jean's and van's. I walked downstairs and grabbed the usual power bar and apple stuffing it into my bag.

I got to school feeling like shit as I got to the back of the school for a usual smoke. I felt a bit sick as I hoped Ms. Sander's was back today so I wouldn't have to see Gerard's face again. Hmmm, It surprised me that I still remember his name. His name some how is appealing to me. The sound of it was quite nice. I smirked as I heard the bell ring, stomping on my smoke. I walked into English greeted by Gerard's face again, I rolled my eye's as I walked to the back already annoyed. Through the whole lesson he always gazed at me with a sad expression. I tried my hardest to ignore it. But his bright hazel eye's are so deep yet so bright. I felt like he was staring into my soul and for some reason it made me smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow, please finish reading scene three of your book, we'll discuss it tomorrow." Gerard said as the bell ring and the student's left the room. I was last to leave. "Frank, can we talk?" Gerard asked me, I stop dead in my track's, near the door and walked back in. He leaned on the teacher's desk and sighed, rubbing the back of his head. We stood there for about a minute with no word's exchanged."Frank, I know something is going on." He said, I stood there not saying a word, just gazing at the floor.

"Well, nothing is going on." I said.

"Does your Father hit you?" he asked looking me in the eye.

"No."

"Frank, does he hit you? Is that why you were so scared to get a detention?"

"No, he doesn't touch me."

"Bullshit! You know, your a bad liar I can see right through you." He said an inch closer to me.

"I don't know what your talking about! Leave me alone!" I screamed. Tear's started to stream down my face as I heard the bell ring, I tried to rush out of his class, but he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled my against his chest. I felt his arms wrap me into a hug as I let myself sob on to this stranger chest. I felt uneasy and weak as I never felt such warm hand's touch me before. I let myself sink into them as Laid my head on his chest. I sobbed and everything just poured out.

"He does all the time! I can't stop him! He's going to kill me! I know it! He beats me and forces himself on me!" I screamed, l realized what I said and pulled way from his embrace. He looked at me with such concerned eyes." I shouldn't have told you!" He looked down and ashamed as he tucked his hair behind his ear.

"Frank, I know what your going through, because....I've been there. I was once hurt by someone I loved."