What Happens on Tour Stays on Tour

We all sit there in shock, taking in the news. I had the urge to look at Brendon, just to see how he felt about this, but I didn't. I couldn't fathom how he would feel about his x almost killing himself because of him. I felt ashamed of Brendon. If I was him, I wouldn't push someone away so cruelly like that. Maybe Ryan was just that sensitive. None of this was my business, though.
"I'm going." Spencer says as he takes a jacket off of one of the chairs and starts heading off the bus.
I feel the left side of the couch rise. I turn and look to see Brendon walking out with Spencer.
"Hey Spence, wait up!" He says.
I then just sit there with Ian, and for a moment I do feel as though part of this was my fault.
Ian says, "That's so unfortunate. I met Ryan once before, he was nice. Who knew he had that side to him."
"Yeah... who knew." I say, letting out a deep sigh.
"You think he's gonna be okay?"
"Yeah." I say as I look at Ian with a reassuring smile. Ryan was bound to be okay, I mean, he tried killing himself, but didn't succeed.

After a while Ian and I just hung around and talked for a bit. Watched some t.v. and played our instruments. In that time I never stopped thinking about how Brendon cared so much as to go see him. Then again, Brendon was really on and off with certain emotions; feelings of his.
By the time both of them came back, Spencer looked a little happier. Ryan was okay then. But I see Brendon come in and it's hard to even read him. His emotions were gone, or his face was just stone cold as a rock.
Spencer then says, "Well it's all good now," He looks at his watch, "let's head out to the next city."
"Alright!" Ian says.
Brendon looks at me and says, "Hey Dallon, can I talk to you for a second."
His voice was low, yet high enough to be audible. Strange, I've never heard him talk like this.
I say, "Sure."
We then head into the room in the back and shut the door. I sit on the bed as he sits next to me. He puts his face in his hands.
"What did I just do?" Brendon murmurs harshly into his hands.
"You went to go see if he was alright. There's nothing wrong with that-"
"I'm the one who almost killed him, Dallon. Then I just fucking go to see if he's alright? I couldn't contain myself, it was all so fast."
He looked me deep into the eyes and I could see the mix of sadness and frustration radiating off him.
"You shouldn't worry anymore. He's alright now."
"If Spencer didn't open his big mouth, God, you know I just wanted to avoid Ryan. I just wanted him out of my life for good. I wanted to move on, but no. I just had to see if he was alright."
"It's okay-"
"No it's not okay. I've made myself vulnerable. Help me."
He then launched himself at me and embraced me with a tight hug.
I swallow hard, "I'll do my best." I say.

By the time we made it into the next city, and by the time our set was through, I knew Brendon was coming to see me tonight. For Brendon, 'Help Me', only meant, 'Let me mess around with you till 2 in the morning'. The only way I could ever help him move on from... Ryan... was to stick my tongue down his throat, to tell him I loved him, to let him... touch me... almost everywhere.
I had taken a shower and got into some comfy clothes before I heard a knock at my door. I let out a slow breath before opening the door and letting him in.
As soon as I opened the door, Brendon says, "Dallon." In a serious tone before throwing himself on me.
My heartbeat started up quick as his warm body pushed against mine, fingers flying through my hair, sloppy kisses all over my mouth. He stops for a brief second to shut the door. I take a breather, because honestly, I need it.
I prepare myself as he locks the door, turning around to come attack me again.
His tongue is fast to enter my mouth this time as we stagger ourselves to the bed.
As soon as I could feel the edge of the bed behind me, I took a great effort to climb onto it.
I'm pushed flat on my back on the bed as Brendon hovered over me. I take another breather as I could see the lust in his eyes. Tonight... was one of those nights... were I felt more nervous than normal.
His lips find their way to my neck as he removes my shirt. Right as he takes his lips off me I rush to grab a hold of his shirt to slide it off. He lowers himself on me now, our bear chests touching. I'm about half hard at this point as he starts to gently nibble on my earlobe. I let out a breathy moan. He puts his lips to the left side of my neck as his fingers ran around on my chest. I let out another breath as he starts to make his way down my chest.
He kisses my pelvic bones sloppily, switching from just his moist lips on my skin to his tongue. His breath ghosts across my lower stomach as he does the same to the other side. My eyes are shut as I take this in.
He stops as his fingers grab a hold of my sweats and pulls them off. I don't stop him, I can't... I won't. I still don't look as I feel his fingers run across the hem of my boxers. It's no surprise that I'm completely hard at this point and Brendon can probably see that. His fingers grasped a hold of my boxers as he slid them off. I let out another breath. His hands find their way around my hard-on as he starts running his hands up and down, up and down, and jesus christ... his lips. They instantly touch my tip. I whimper ever so slightly as he takes me in a second later. I let out a deep moan. I shutter slightly. As soon as his lips hollow I can't contain myself. I moan again and again. All of the sudden, he stops. I'm still extremely hard. Was he seriously going to tease me? I was about 5 seconds away from begging him to just finish me off. But then he climbs up to me as he kissed me lightly, but I can't. I can't. I make the kiss deeper as my hand is placed on the back of his neck. He's beside me now, I could see him taking off his own pants. What... did he think he was doing?
"Dal, turn over."
"Brendon what are you-"
"Please... please."
I do as he says as I could feel him on the back of me. No, he's not. He can't. I... can't.
His lips find their way to the back of my neck and I started to wonder now if he was completely naked. The thought of it made my brain go fuzzy.
"Dallon." He started to whisper in my ear. I get goose bumps.
"Bren-"
"Please... please let me be inside of you."
A greater chill ran up my spine. He had teased me enough. As much as I wanted to get off I would never want this. I had to make a choice and I thought about it. He only came onto me like this because he wanted to forget Ryan. I told him I would help him, but I... I...
"Ah." I let out. His fingers running up and down my pulsing length.
"Please." He said.
I quickly thought about it again. If I did let him... take me... he would move on from Ryan, or at least it would help a lot. If I didn't... he would keep clinging onto me. I prayed to God my theory was right as I said:
"Brendon... fuck me."