I Made My Bed, Now I Lay in It

This is what I told her, we were out. A sleep over between best friends, we do them so often ever since ninth grade, but what really happened that night no one shall know because not even I have a clear picture. It is a blur between strangling a boy, no a man. I was enraged I know that because when I think of that night my blood riots inside my veins. My fists ball up, rise but then fall to my sides again. I have no energy to fight in anyway, and fight what?

Whatever happened that night it took every last spark of from every single cell, as if they all cried for me to lay on my bed. That wasn’t allowed though, not yet because my parents weren’t through with me. They shined the light into my eyes. My eyes watered and twitched wanting to flee the questioning stare down from the blinding watts, 60 to be exact.

“Why did Kai’s mother tell me you weren’t there!” Even though she was asking, she had already decided what the truth was. It was plain on my face as if in big letters:
'I’m lying, I was out all night by myself at a party and I don’t know what happened after!' was painted on my face.

“I don’t know why she said that but I was there, we slept in her backyard. Remember her tree house! We were there and we didn’t tell her so she didn’t know. That’s probably why mom! Believe me!” I pleaded but she didn’t believe. She looked away with a bank of tears that she was holding. My mother has never had a spine. She became a house wife straight out of high school, marrying my father after she was pregnant with me. It was my fathers turn now. He grabbed my wrist and twisted, a small shriek in disbelief escaped my throat.

“What the fu-”

“Don’t you dare curse at me Olive or else who knows what the hell I will do next!” His face was stone hard, he wasn’t kidding. It looked like he was willing to kick me out the house this instant. I shrunk, my tongue twisted like my stomach, I wanted to hurl. This was beginning to be too much.

Suddenly another flashback, Kyle. Kyle is the guy I was strangling, his feeble neck between my clenched fingers. I was shaking him vigorously, wait no they weren’t around his neck. I was trying to wake him up. He’s bruised badly, black eye swollen shut, and his bottom lip puffy, bleeding staining his white button up shirt, he always buttons to the top. Everyone made fun of him, he was so uptight.

Why was he beat up? What was I doing? I should have called the cops, ambulance something! He was hurt so bad, why didn’t I? Where is he? Then there it was the truth stronger than any blow my father can give. Breath taking, menacing, torturing me. He tried saving me, he got beat up.

I looked down. Where is he now? The thought didn’t leave my mind.

“Olive what do you have to say!” He shouted. Demanded words that I didn’t know. I broke free and began to sprint, fast out the door. I only heard the shouts of my father becoming fainter as each foot stepped in front of the other.

“Olive! Olive! Oliiiiive!” and that was the last thing time I heard after staring into the headlights like a deer like I have been since Kyle. Blinded and lost and regretting that night. Shrieks gurgling in my throat as I sobbed. I didn’t call the ambulance because he was dead and I shook him in disbelief. Never once did I believe in god but this night, this night I prayed to every power in the universe to rewind time. I heard the sirens which were drowned out by my heart beat, I was dying myself. I ran from Kyle, I abandoned him once again, even though I knew he needed me more than anything at that moment in time. I’m not running anymore though, if anything I pray to join him and hold him as I lay in the bed I made. The bed of my own blood surrounded by my parents, my mother shaking me like I was Kyle. I’m sorry parents, you didn’t deserve this but I have to finish what I began.

I close my eyes and accept my death, let the power of the universe decide my after life fate.