Reflection

“Sparrow? Are you girls ready yet?” Mom called.

“Yeah Mom we’re coming!” I replied as I zipped up my Batman hoodie over one of my favorite shirts. It was gray with a black and white picture of Jimmy with his name, stage name and birth/death date on it. I paired it with a pair of super tight black skinny jeans and black on black low rise Converse. Today was the 28th and we were headed to the graveyard to visit Jimmy’s grave.

It was a big affair including all my aunts and uncles and family that were able to be here. We’d go to the graveyard for a while and talk and visit his grave, maybe talk to fans if any were there, then head back to Grandma Val’s for a huge meal and a cake featuring Jimmy’s face.

“You guys ready?” I asked turning to my friends/cousin.

“Just about…done.” Abi said as she finished lacing her Kings Of Neon high tops and adjusting her skinny jeans over the tops. In addition to that she wore a black jacket with various buttons and a RIP REV baseball style shirt.

“Same here.” Darcy grinned giving her hair one last look over in the mirror before turning to me. Darcy fully believed that bright colors were to be embraced on a day like this and in turn wore a pair of bright pink leopard print jeans, matching flats, a black A7X shirt and a black and pink hoodie.

“Same here.” Scarlet replied pulling her bright red hair into a ponytail.

Scarlet was Link’s sister. Okay in all reality she was Link’s step sister. You see his dad was really his step dad but it didn’t matter since his parents had been together since he was 6 months old. Scarlet was the product of his dad’s former relationship. He had split custody with her mom. She spent July-Christmas in Pennsylvania with her mom and the end of December-June 31st her in Cali with her dad. Her and Link were super close though. They were only 3 months apart in age and got on really well.

She was dressed in a Nightmare t-shirt that I’d lent her since she’d forgotten hers in PA, distressed jeans, purple Vans sneakers and a black hoodie.

“Then lets go because Mom is going to blow a gasket if we’re late.” I said and we headed downstairs.

When we reached the bottom landing Mom and Dad were already waiting with Jakob, Link and Jace.

“It’s supposed to rain so here are umbrellas.” Mom said handing one to me and one to Scarlet.

Despite the fact she was a kick ass rockstar and covered in tattoos my mom was still a mom. I took the umbrella from her and we headed outside to the cars.

Jakob, Link, Jace, Abi, Darcy, Scarlet and I all stuffed ourselves into Jakob’s mustang. Jakob drove while Link sat in the front seat with Darcy at his feet. In the back Abi sat on my lap while Scarlet sat on Jace’s. It was cramped and illegal but it was more fun to ride together than it was to ride with our parents.

“Hey Dad! We’re going to go get gas and we’ll meet you at the graveyard!” Jakob yelled to our dad who gave him a thumbs up.

We pulled out of the driveway and drove down to the Texico station on the corner. We all climbed out and headed inside. Jakob bought the gas while Jace and I headed for the coffee. I was stirring milk into mine when I felt someone come up beside me.

“Have a good holiday Sparrow?”

I looked up and rolled my eyes. Standing there was Adrian Worsnop, smirking at me. It had been a month and a half since he had come to our school and a month and a half since I had had a day without getting hit on.

“What do you want Adrian?” I asked looking at him.

“C’mon is that any way to greet a friend?” he asked with mock hurt.

“No. It’s how I greet pests that won’t sod off. I’ve told you a million and one times. Leave. Me. Alone. I’m not into you.” I replied.

“You say that but at the same time I don’t quite believe you.” he replied.

“Well believe it.” I replied.

“So what are you doing out on a shitty day like this?” he asked.

“Oh changing subjects because you finally realized you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell?” I asked.

“Seriously. You and all of your group out at once? What’s going on?” he asked.

“If you must know we’re all going to the graveyard. It’s the 28th, the anniversary of my Uncle Jimmy’s death.” I replied.

“Ah gotcha.” Adrian replied.

“Yeah. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to go pay for my coffee and join my family outside. See you in school on Monday.” I replied and walked past him.

As I did so I brushed against him and it sent shivers down my spine. It was odd and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Pushing it to the back of my mind I headed to the front of the store to pay.

Once my coffee was paid for I headed back to the car and climbed in the back where Jace sat sipping his own cup.

“I just ran into Adrian.” I said as I settled back.

“Really? Did he bug you?” Jace asked.

“No…not as much as usual.” I replied.

“So no need to go kick his ass?” Jace replied.

I smirked, “No. As per usual you do not need to beat the fuck out of Adrian Worsnop.”

“Okay.” he replied.

We sat in silence for a few moments before either of us spoke again.

“So are you nervous? You know about going to Jimmy’s grave since we’ve been…y’know seeing him?” Jace asked after a few moments.

His words echoed my thoughts. We were still seeing Jimmy on a regular basis. He would pop up in dreams and sometimes in the mirror. He had yet to appear to us in the flesh but we were warned that he could. In addition to Grandma Lucy and Grandpa Zacky, our parents and Grandpa Matt and Aunt Val knew about us seeing Jimmy. They had promised to keep it from the other though because we had asked them to.

“I don’t know. I mean…he could appear to us today of all days so we should be ready right?” I replied.

“Yeah he could.” Jace agreed.

“Who could do what?” Link asked.

Both Jace and I’s heads shot up from where they’d been bent in conversation.

“Adrian Worsnop. He could be more of a douche.” I smiled at Link, thanking god that I was able to lie so easy. However Link didn’t look like he quite believed it.

“Okay…right.” Link nodded and slid into the front seat.

The rest of our friends climbed in and we headed for the cemetery. Once there we parked and headed to where we knew the grave stone was. Everyone was already there. Quietly we walked up and joined the others.

There were small notes and flowers dyed blue and black sitting on the grave already, signs that fans had been here. It never ceased to amaze me that after all of these years that fans still cared so much. We’d met several here before. Some came from all across the country to be here. The year before 4 women from South Carolina had been here when we were. I was surprised to not see anyone here but us.

We stood and listened to the adults talk about all the memories they had of Jimmy. We didn’t have any memories since he was gone long before we had been born. They were retelling the one where he got pepper sprayed for chasing pigeons then ended up with it in his eyes at the next day’s show when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Turning I almost gasped as I saw Jimmy standing behind me with a huge smile. He motioned for me to follow him and I nodded. With my elbow I nudged Jace in the ribs and nodded towards Jimmy with my head. His eyes grew wide for a moment before he nodded and followed us.

We walked a ways away so that we were out of earshot of the others. I mean if we were the only ones that could see him it would be odd for us to be talking to air.

“So having fun?” Jimmy asked propping himself up on a headstone.

“Of course. We do every year.” I replied plopping down on the ground, Jace beside me.

“Well I know that! I mean you are at my grave.” he replied.

We laughed and Jace opened his mouth to say something but a moment later we heard a couple of laughs. I looked up and saw my mom and grandma running toward us.

“Jimmy!” Mom laughed and a moment later jumped into his arm.

“Mini-Me!” Jimmy laughed and picked her up, swinging her around.

He put her down and turned to Grandma who smiled and walked over wrapping her arms around him.

“I missed you Jimbo.” she said hugging him tight.

“I missed you to Luce.” he said hugging her back.

“So you decided to appear to the kids now huh?” Grandma asked pulling back a moment later as she wiped tears from her eyes.

“Yeah. I thought that I’d be here to give them a little guidance. I mean look at where it got you and Jamie. I mean c’mon I can’t fuck them up that bad can I?” He grinned.

“True. Just take care of my babies Jimmy. You promised.” Mom replied.

“Am I doing anything bad to you two?” Jimmy asked turning to Jace and I.

“No.” Jace replied.

“At least not yet. I mean it remains to be seen.” I grinned.

“You are just like them you know that?” Jimmy said pointing to Mom and Grandma.

“Oh shut up Jimmy.” Mom said smacking him on the chest.

“Ow! Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean that that doesn’t hurt Jamie!” Jimmy said.

“Sorry!” Mom replied.

“Nah I’m just fuckin’ with you.” he said and laughed.

Grandma rolled her eyes, “So are you going to let the guys see you? Or is it just us today?”

Jimmy shook his head, “Just you four. But please tell the guys that I love them.”

“Will do Jimbo.” Mom said and hugged him.

“Alright well I’d better let all of you get back to your party. Just do me a favor. Go chase some Stallion Ducks for me. They just don’t run like they used to when I was alive.” he said.

“Maybe cause they can’t see you? I don’t know it’s just a thought.” Grandma replied.

Jimmy rolled his eyes and pulled Grandma closer and kissed the top of her head.

“Tell Cody that I said hi will you?” Mom asked looking up at Jimmy’s tall figure.

“Will do hon.” he said with a small smile.

“Now I’m heading out. I love you both and I will see you two later.” Jimmy said and kissed Mom on the top of her head and waved to Jace and I before walking off, disappearing a few feet away.

Grandma sighed as she watched him disappear, “No matter how many times he does that I still miss him the same.”

“I know Mama.” Mom said and hugged Grandma.

“Well c’mon then we’d better get back before the others start to wonder where we are. The last thing we need is for them to wonder why we’re all here talking to ourselves.” Grandma said.

Laughing Jace and I stood and followed them back to the others.

*Jakob’s POV*

I stood with my family talking and laughing over Jimmy. It was raining and we were all decked out in our favorite Avenged gear.

wore a black and white ‘Welcome To The Family’ t-shirt, jeans, black letterman jacket and black and red Osiris sneakers. Link was beside me, his arm wrapped around mine and holding the umbrella. He was in his tightest pair of jeans, a Nightmare t-shirt, black Vans and a Drop Dead denim jacket. On my other side was Jace in a classic Avenged Sevenfold shirt, black jeans, an Iron Fist skeleton hoodie and black on black high top Converse. Even if he and Sparrow didn’t try they always seemed to dress alike.

I was listening to Uncle Matt talk about when Uncle Jimmy ended up with mase in his eyes after an encounter with the cops involving pigeons when Link nudged me.

“What?” I asked.

“Where are Sparrow and Jace going?” he asked.

I looked over my shoulder and saw the twins walking away from the group.

“Don’t know…probably to the bathroom or something. You never know with them.” I replied.

“They’ve been acting weird lately haven’t they? I mean like I was getting back in the car earlier and they were talking then just stopped when they saw me. I think something’s up with them Jake.” he replied.

“It’s probably nothing Link…they’ve always been screwy you know that.” I replied.

“True.” he said.

I glanced at my watch and knew that it was almost time to go. There was one thing that I had to do before I left.

“I’ll be back before it’s time to go.” I said turning to Link and handing him the umbrella.

“Okay babe…you want me to go with you?” he asked.

“No. I’m fine.” I replied and headed off.

I walked for a few minutes before reaching where I was going. Sighing I knelt down on the damp grass and wiped off the small collection of leaves and things from the stone under my feet. Once I did so I could clearly read the writing on it, ‘Cody Matthew Sanders’.

“Hey Dad.” I smiled looking down at it.

I loved Warner. I really did love him, he had raised me like I was his own but no matter what I couldn’t escape the fact that I had lost my real dad before I was even able to know him. It hurt that I’d never know him as a person, not just someone from stories and home movies.

“So I’m doing okay. I’m still with Link…he’s amazing and I love him so much. He’s handsome and just…god I know you’d love him too Dad. I’m doing okay in school. The kids are still assholes but if I pay attention to my work this year I might be able to graduate. Mom’s good and so are Grandpa Matt and Grandma Val. They miss you. I miss you too. But-But at least they got to know you.” I said.

It was rare that I visited my dad’s grave and this was why. It always ended with me pissed. Pissed at dad for leaving me. Mom had given me a letter he’d wrote to me on the day he died. He said he was excited that I was coming. If he had been so excited then why is it he couldn’t stick around and meet me?

Tears began to fall down my cheeks as I sat there. Roughly I wiped them away and from the inside of my jacket pulled out my flask. Undoing the top I tipped it back and drained it of the Jack I’d filled it with before leaving this morning.

Tucking it back in my jacket I stood up and brushed the grass from my jeans and wiped the last few tears from my face.

“Bye Dad.” I said and with that I turned and left.