When I Grow Up, I Want to Be Famous

There was one last thing to do before the summer ended. The boys invited everyone to the recording of their new video for ‘Jealous Minds Think Alike’ after deciding to release it as a single. It was one of everyone’s favourites so they thought it the most appropriate to kick off their new album. None of my friends could make it so it was just me, Emily, Tom and the band’s crew who attended the shoot. I’d told my parent’s I was staying at Emily’s for the weekend but I was really staying at Josh’s. His parents were out of town all weekend and Elissa was up in London doing a show. We would have followed her and supported but the video had been scheduled a week in advance. I was secretly pleased for the series of fortunate coincidences.

Emily, now being able to drive, picked me up from the station with a knowing grin on her face.

“What?” I asked as I climbed into her cute bug.

“Nothing,” she laughed and turned up the radio. It was the guy’s album! They must have given her a copy before it was due for release. ‘The Truth Is A Terrible Thing’ was playing. Max hadn’t shown it to me on the night he’d blasted a load of their songs. He’d only played the ones that he thought were about me. I’d listened to it after he’d gone and left me the CD. I sort of liked the song, it was about a lot of bitchy people. The song sort of made sense and I could picture a lot of people’s faces as the song played.

“Don't waste your time
We've heard it all before
We've had enough and hangers on and "friends" we didn't want.”

Charlie, Harry, Summer had all used the band to get noticed by others. Our entire college had been fake towards Josh – a million kids had tried to me nice, tried to befriend him to get in on the fame. The person he was singing about in the song was a mixture of everyone.

“Don't waste you're time
We've heard it all before
We've had it up to heels and head and we won't take no more.”

There must have been one that had really made him snap mind. Then it hit me. I remembered something. Max had arrived at mine before everything had gone wrong to tell me that Josh had kicked off to everyone. He sort of exploded on everyone and told them to piss off because he couldn’t take their fakeness anymore.

“The truth is a terrible thing
Don't you think?”

Those lyrics must have come out of that. I could imagine him, sitting at home, scribbling in his notebook, trying to put his anger into words.

‘Gossip’ came on next so I skipped it. I skipped through them all until ‘Nasty Habits’ because it was the only filler song on the album. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the album but I didn’t want to go to Josh’s after having listened to him rant at me through song - kind of a mood killer.

When we turned left to Emily’s rather than the Franceschi house, I turned to look at my driver in confusion.

“We’re going to Overhill’s party tonight,” she answered with a smile. “It was sort of last minute, you better have something gorgeous in that bag.”

I stared at her completely blank. As much as I wanted to see Emily, I wanted to see Josh too.

“It’s all been arranged, we’re meeting everyone there at eight- oh don’t give me that look, you can fuck Franceschi later.” She burst out laughing at my cheeks turned a violent shade of pink.

“Oh shut up!” I cried, gripping the edge of the seat with a rush of embarrassment. To be fair, I hadn’t been planning to do much talking at Josh’s. She wouldn’t stop giggling. “Fuck you Em. I haven’t got a dress or anything.”

“Good thing you’re the same size as me then,” she said still snickering as she turned into her estate. A year ago I would have been sceptical. When I’d first met Emily, she had been this small ‘emo’ who’s wardrobe consisted of a lot of black, not my favourite colour, but she had changed so much over the years. Together, our fashion senses has matured as we grew older. Emily was now a beautiful eighteen year old with enviously long brown hair, natural but emphasising make up and a summer’s dress fashionably styled and in season. When she got out of the car, I fell in love with her wedge sandals. She just laughed and promised me I could borrow them for tonight.

We got changed and ages getting ready for tonight. I sent quite a miffed text to Josh telling him he’d have some making up to do. He willingly agreed to do so and my stomach tingled with teenage excitement. For the first time ever, Emily styled all of me.

I left the house feeling beautiful in a summery red dress, matching lipstick, long lashes, her wedged sandals and loosely curled hair.

“Wowww,” Matt said as Nathan wolf whistled when we arrived.

“Not a good idea,” Max warned, clapping him on the shoulder. “She’s with one of your bosses.”

“I wasn’t talking about Warne, no offence,” he said to me quickly.

“None taken,” I said and laughed, taking a step aside for him to admire Emily properly. “And bosses really?”

“Yeah, we’re in charge, his life is in our hands,” Max grinned.

“Or something along those lines,” Matt seconded with a laugh. “Just not that philosophical.”

I gave the pair a quick hug, genuinely glad to see them and they reintroduced me to a load of people from my old hometown. I found David Sampson who I’d known from school and I hung around with him and the host James Overhill, whilst the guitarist and bassist vanished off somewhere. Emily, keenly followed by Nathan and another boy, found me about half an hour later.

“Boyf’s outside,” she told me. “He’s on the phone with his musicians all around him looking bored out of their skulls.”

“Right,” I said slowly, not sure what to say or do.

“Get him off and tell him to enjoy the party?” James suggested, grabbing five bottles of beer and carefully handing them to me. I took the freezing necks between my fingers and sighed. I wanted a good night as any of them. David hung a bottle opener on my little finger.

“Be back now,” I sighed and carefully manoeuvred my way through the house without dropping anything.

They were outside, Josh pacing up and down the road with the phone pressed to his ear. Max and Matt were sat at the gate, looking longingly towards the house. Dan was propped up against the wall, watching his singer pace and talk. Chris was a little way off, sitting and texting. With an inviting smile, I made my way down the path and held out the beer towards the guys. Josh hadn’t seen me. Max bounded to his feet to give me a hand.

“Who’s on the phone?” I asked whilst I handed over the booze and passing the bottle opener to Chris.

“I don’t actually know,” Matt murmured grumpily.

“Something about tomorrow, someone’s not in the right place and now he’s stressing.”

“Isn’t it Bobby’s job?”

“That’s what we said,” they all said together and startling me to take a half step back.

“Why aren’t you inside?” I asked, glancing over Matt’s shoulder at Josh.

“Cause ‘we’re a band and we should do this together’,” Max recited, not looking at me but at the house.

“I’ll talk to him,” I said, popping the last bottle open and handing the opener back. With a small jump, Max bounded past me and into the house like a puppy let off the leash. With a laugh, Dan and Matt followed.

“He’s been stressed all day,” Chris whispered to me.

“Great,” I sighed. “Oh, by the way, is Georgie coming tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he answered and his face lit up with a smile that made my heart squeeze with adoration. He loved this girl.

“Good, I need someone to keep me sane. I heard she couldn’t make it tonight.”

“No, looks like I’ll be texting her all night instead,” he said as he started to walk back to the house and I squealed at the cuteness. Turning around in my heels, I glanced around me. The sun was almost set, the sky a gorgeous purple hue and the air was still and warm on my skin. I loved summer. I took another step over the pavement and walked up to him, his back still to me.

“Yeah, yeah, that sound brilliant…”

He turned around and almost walked into me.

“Holy shit,” he cursed under his breath, lifting his hand to press it to his chest, probably racing by now. I smiled innocently and offered him the beer. He looked at it like he didn’t understand what it was.

“No not you Bob, can you get that hooked up then? Okay, times? Uhh hang on…” He glanced over my shoulder. “Jase, where’ve they all gone?”

“To have a life? Get your ass and inside and enjoy the fucking party!”

“Two seconds,” he said and turned back to his phone. I rolled my eyes and forced the beer into his hand.

“Josh, I’m being serious, you have a shoot tomorrow, unwind! Leave it to Bobby!”

“I can’t- Yeah, no I think we’re free then,” he said to his phone. I wanted to kick him. I put on my best pout, sunk into my hips and gazed up at him.

“And I’ve come all this way to see you,” I whispered. He caught that. I wanted to smile with satisfaction at the torn look on his face.

“Urggg, okay fine, I’ve got to go, can you sort it? I’ll call you tomorrow morning, cheers mate.” And he finally hung up.

“Thank God,” I groaned, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him close. It had been too long. “Nice to see you too.”

“Sorry,” he laughed as he hugged me back. “This is sort of my job.”

“No it’s why you pay a manager, so you can enjoy life as a Rockstar,” I argued, wrapping my arms around his neck, skilfully, without spilling any beer.

“Huh, pay,” he snorted and kissed my nose. “When we say as a band we’re totally poor… we mean it.”

“So what… you pay Bobby in... contentment?”

“More or less,” he chuckled, grinning his head off. “He sleeps in a bus shelter with the rest of the crew.”

“You get the luxury then?”

“No, we slum it on the pavements,” he shrugged like he was half serious but he grinned at me, tugging on my waist and pulling me into a kiss.

“Party now?” I asked but he cut me off in another kiss. God, he tasted so good. He tasted of home, it was weird. I wanted more and suddenly I didn’t want to go to the party anymore.

“Party now,” he agreed, almost half reluctantly.

“Free house tonight,” he muttered, sliding his arm around my waist, we both looked at each other and smiled.

***

“Haven’t seen you in a while Jase,” James slurred to me, several beers and shots later.

“I moved to St Albans?” I laughed, leaning forwards to hear him better.

“Did you?” he asked, completely confused.

“Yeah,” I giggled at his blank expression. “A few months ago?”

“Mate, you’ve missed out on a lot,” a drunken Max said as he clapped him on the back. I shot him a mixed warning and pleading look not to go into the story right now. “Anyway, did you get the album I sent home with Jenny?”

“Are you just handing them out now?” I asked Max, completely baffled by the band’s logic of giving out the demos before it was released.

“Special treatment, it’s like copyright, once your name is in a song, you sort of own it,” James said knowingly.

“I deserve half the profits then,” I grumbled before blanking in shock. “Hang on, wait what? Name in a song?”

“Oh Overhill will you teach me the games you play so well?” Josh sang in my ear as he draped an arm around my shoulder.

“Huh?” It took me a moment to get which song it was. It wasn’t one I’d listened to that often...

“You’ve Made Your Bed,” Max answered quickly for me.

“Ohhhh, why didn’t I get that before?” I knew the answer. That was the one song I really didn’t like. I mean the song was good and it was a sort of middle finger to the girl that had screwed Josh over... but no, I just couldn’t stomach the song. “Never mind. What does the line mean?”

“James is our ladies man,” Max clapped him on the shoulder again. “Got the hottest skillzzzzz”

“Don’t ever say that if you hope to get laid,” James said with a serious face before laughing with Max. “If that’s even possible.”

Then they started drunkenly ribbing each other. I turned to Josh in quiet confusion.

“So... You wanted to learn how to get girls?”

“No, I wanted to know how to keep a girl interested, she cheated on me remember? But then I realised you weren’t going anywhere,” he said softly, smiling and kissing me softly on the cheek.

Riiiiiight....

I mentally shook myself and smiled at him.

As the night progressed, I knew the guys were going to be making a mistake drinking and such the night before their video shoot. It meant they were going to be sleeping all day. Greaaaaaaat. Dan was the soberest one at the end of the evening, or at least he had the strongest tolerance out of everyone, I could have sworn I’d seen him doing the tequila shots. By eleven, I thought ‘screw it’, I only got to celebrate in my hometown once in a while so I started on the Jaeger shots with Emily.

“It sort of taste like cough syrup,” Emily grimaced after her third shot.

“What?” I spluttered when her comment caused the drink to catch in my throat. I laughed and swallowed hard. “What the fuck did your mother give you as a child?”

“This probably, it would explain why I felt better,” she laughed, pouring another round for the table. Two new shot glasses joined the round but I was too busy laughing at Emily’s shocking pouring to look up to see who had joined.

“Here’s to...” she couldn’t finish the sentence. “... Free booze.”

I rolled my eyes, laughed and chinked my glass with everyone else in the ring. I locked eyes with the boy opposite me and almost dropped it. Fuck. What the fuck was he doing here? Alex. He smiled awkwardly as he tipped back the brown liquid. My hand dropped as stared at him in shock. What was James thinking? Oh wait... he didn’t know about it all.

I stepped back from the table and headed for the living room. I wasn’t letting any shit go down tonight.

I was adamant on finding Josh but a hand caught me first.

“Hey, Jase, wait, can we talk for a sec?”

No. I’d dumped his sorry good for nothing ass because he’d done everything he could to rip Josh and I apart. It was getting old.

“Fuck off? Please?” I said, my liquid confidence spurring the words out.

“Woah,” he caught my wrist and closed around it tight. He was drunk. Like, drunk, drunk. Pwoar, he stank. I cringed away from him but he didn’t let go.

“Where the hell did you disappear to? Your house is empty.” I hadn’t told him about moving away. I’d just told him what I was telling him now.

“Fuck off,” I repeated, trying to take a step back but he scooped a hand around my waist. “Fuck off!”

I half slapped/punched him around the face but he barely flinched.

“Oh Jase, come on, let’s finish what we started.” His face inclined towards mine, his breath reeking of so many different liquors. I twisted my face away and his nose brushed me ear as I tried to squirm out of his grasp.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Get off her!”

He let me go instantly and I fell backwards but a hand caught me under the arm. It was Dan and Josh.

“Are you okay?” Josh hissed at me, scanning me over as if checking for damages.

“Yeah,” I answered breathlessly, my heart pounding and hands shaking. I locked eyes with Josh. I didn’t want him to think I was coming on to Alex. His eyes weren’t angry at me, I saw only fire, but then they turned to Alex and he looked livid. I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him stepping forwards.

“You do realise if that had gone any further, we could have called the police?” Dan said calmly, but there was this bitter, seething tone to his voice. Matt joined him at his side along with Emily.

“I’ll get Overhill,” Chris sighed and vanished into the watching crowd. Why did this always happen? I cringed away from the gaping, drunken eyes. Alex’s eyes flickered between Josh and then the rest of the band before falling on me.

“Wait, you finished with her, you all abandoned her!” he said, slightly more sober than before but his blurred eyes gave away his state. “You left her all on her own.” His eyes fell on my other hand that’d linked with Josh’s. He sneered at Josh. “I heard the rumours you were spreading around about her Franceschi. Did you know that Jasey?” he asked me. “All the shit he was saying behind your back? Completely jealous.”

I kept quiet, I looked away from him and to Josh.

“Let’s go,” I whispered to him.

“I heard you were whining about her in your new set of fucking emo songs,” he chuckled coldly. “Lovely sign of affection.”

Josh flinched in the attempt to step forwards but my reactions were quicker, I pressed hard against his chest.

“Don’t,” I warned, remembering the last time the guys had gotten in a fight. Josh had been rendered unconscious with a bust nose and concision. The rest of the band hadn’t come out any better.

“What’s going on?” Overhill had finally made his way through the crowd with Chris.

“I thought you had finer taste than douche bags,” Matt muttered to him quickly.

“Huh? Who the fuck is this kid?” he answered and I believed his honest, confused face. “Get the fuck out yeah?”

Alex looked over all of us, realising he was completely outnumbered. His eyes went from me to Josh and he just shook his head.

“Fine, have her, she’s a bitch of a slag anyway, although, doesn’t even give head right,” he chuckled, high fiving his mate. My cheeks burned. He laughed maliciously at Josh but it was cut short in the sudden burst of voices. I jumped at the sudden movement. Emily, Josh and Max had all started forwards but Dan caught Emily around the waist, lifting her up before she could claw at Alex. Max was stopped by Overhill and Chris but Josh slipped through my fingers. Alex finally managed to get what the twat deserved - one good, solid swing that sent him to the floor. I managed to pull Josh back before he could do any more. I pulled his face around to focus on me and held his gaze until I knew that Alex had been dragged out.

“I thought were weren’t condoning violence anymore?” I asked quietly, half pleased, half annoyed. This boy loved me so much but I didn’t like the actions.

“Slip up,” he whispered, still shaking with anger.

“I think we should go home?” I asked quietly.

“I’m not letting him ruin this party,” he grinned. “I work too hard.” I shook my head in disbelief but burst out laughing.

The room had gone back to normal so I turned to the band, Overhill and Emily.

“Thank you,” I said to Max who had tried for Alex too. “And you,” I added to Dan who still had Emily around the waist. She was now laughing, smiling with me and wiggling her eyebrows happily with Dan’s arms around her.

“Come here?” I called to everyone that I was facing. Together, we went back into the room from where I’d just come, I snatched up the bottle of Jaeger and grinned at them. We raised eight shots, beaming.

***

We were pissed. We were really pissed. I was at the stage where the world was spinning, thoughts were pouring out of my mouth without even realising it, my should-be-aching-feet were numb. I staggered home to the Franceschi’s with Chris, Josh, Matt and Max. Dan was getting Emily home. Matt wasn’t as bad as us but he couldn’t walk in a straight line. Chris was talking absolute nonsense with these really funny one liners every time we turned a street corner. Max was gone.

We reached Josh’s home first. Matt assured me that the three of them would be fine and had decided to crash at Max’s as he lived the closest.

“Should we be worried?” I asked Josh quietly as I waved goodbye.

“What? Three very drunken boys in Max’s small room? Nahhh,” he laughed before saying seriously. “One of them has a serious girlfriend.”

I burst into a fit of giggles and stumbled over the front door. Josh’s hand closed around my wrist to catch me, his other hand skilfully caught me around the waist and pulled me to him in one sweeping movement that even my delayed and confused reactions could appreciate. I drunkenly laughed again, my lips inches from him. Maybe I shouldn’t have drunk so much. He kissed me but my lips were numb. I kissed him ferociously, dying to feel something and then I realised it was only delayed. The heat of his lips finally hit me, his touch finally made me shiver, his heavy breathing sent a shudder of delight through my core.

As my senses became sharper my reactions became quicker. Everything was more exciting. I pushed him backwards, a bit harder than I intended, until he slammed against the hall wall. He grunted, withdrawing his lips slightly in a wince but he crushed my hips against his a second later. My hand ran down his chest and backup to find the zip of his hoody which I managed to pull down in one swift movement. He shrugged out of it, backing me up to the opposite wall. It was a lot more ungraceful than normal. My head was absolutely spinning. I had that horrible feeling where I didn’t actually grasp properly where I was or what I was doing. Fuck I’d drunk way too much! Evidently so had Josh because it took him several attempts to try and get my top over my head. This small, tiny, insignificant part of my brain was telling me to stop but I was going on pure instinct.

Leaving the hoody and top on the floor we started to move towards the staircase. Now that was hard. I had to crawl up for fear of falling backwards in my state. I collapsed on the floor in another fit of giggles. Josh dropped down next to me, grinning like an idiot but there was this cute, adoring edge to the familiar smile. I smiled back at him before pulling his lips gently to mine. We stayed there in that kiss for what felt like forever. It was beautiful but then need started to take over. My hands reached over his back, tugging at the piece of fabric blocking me from skin. Somehow it was gone, I wasn’t sure if I did it or if he did. I was surprised I didn’t feel the need to throw up. I pulled him back to me, rolling over to we were skin on skin. He was blazing with heat. Fuck.

Clumsily, I managed to get to my feet, pulling him with me. Then he did something I didn’t expect and he probably wouldn’t do sober. He knocked me off my feet, shouldering me into the air and carried me into his bedroom. The movement was a bit harder than sober actions so it knocked the air from me but I didn’t feel any pain – yet. He dropped me onto his bed where I bounced back, laughing yet again, but it died off when he looked at me, his face an inch from my own. I curled my fingers through his hair, tucking it behind one ear, then my finger traced down his jaw and to his lips where he kissed the tips of my fingers. I smiled at him with complete affection. My Josh.

When his hands started trace down my skin and I could barely feel it, that nagging part of my brain was telling me I wasn’t going to remember much of this in the morning and so my heart sank a little.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when I’d paused, frozen.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, because the thought flew from my mind. “Nothing.”

He looked a me, concerned, for a moment before I kissed his nose. The rest of the night was a mixed heated blur full of nothing but love for one another.

***

I registered everything in stages. First came the light, this bright light, blinding me behind my closed lids. Then I could feel the heat wash onto my face and hand. My face was pressed against something soft whilst the rest of me was pressed against something harder and warm. There was an arm around my waist and someone’s nose was on the back of my neck. I could hear their breathing. It was so loud! Unprepared, I opened my eyes. I was completely blinded by the sun. Josh must have forgotten to close his blinds last night. Last night...

I scrunched up my face in concentration. I couldn’t remember much of last night. I remember Overhill’s house, Alex getting punched, drinking, lots of drinking and Josh... I realised I was completely naked against the covers. What we’d done last night was just a long blur. I couldn’t remember falling asleep. Oh fuck. I groaned and artfully rolled over to not knock Josh, I slipped so I turned around to face him instead with his arm still around my waist. OUCH! I was aching in several places. I think I had a bruise on my hip, my ribs hurt a little and my lips were sore. Drunken sex wasn’t the cleverest of ideas. I scanned my eyes over Josh. All I could hear was his louder than normal breathing he was exhaling through his nose. I ran a finger over his forehead, down his nose, across his cheek and traced over his lips until they parted. I saw his eyelids flutter, his forehead creased in realisation of the blinding sunlight but he kissed my finger all the same. With a grin, he finally opened his eyes.

“Holy shit,” he croaked and blinked several times. “Fuck.”

“Hangover?” I asked innocently, tracing my finger down over his jaw line and over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he whispered in his groggy voice.

“Head pounding?”

“Yeah, it’s like Dan’s living in my brain,” he groaned and buried his head in the pillow. Sorry, but that really tickled me, a really loud laugh escaped my lips which we both winced at. Shiiiiiiit.

“Sorry,” I whispered, rolling back to stare at the ceiling. “Still, good night.”

“Very good night,” he agreed with a small chuckle.

“Can’t remember much of it though,” I said honestly and peeked at him. His face scrunched in concentration.

“Me either,” he said after a long moment of silence.

“Jeez Franceschi, how shocking are you? Can’t show a girl a memorable night.”

He laughed, sat up and climbed out of his bed, snatching a pair of boxers as he went. I gasped.

“What?”

There were scratches all down his back. I grimaced but then started laughing my head off.

“I may have gotten a bit too carried away last night, how’s your back?”

He spun around and looked in the mirror. He turned around and I noticed another series of scratches on his left shoulder. Woops.

“Holy fuck Jase.”

“Sorry,” I cringed innocently, wrapping the duvet around my chest and propping myself up against the headboard. I groaned. Each moment was like someone was hitting a hammer against my brain. Oowwwwwwwwww!

“Coffee?”

“Coffee,” I agreed.

***

I thought they were shooting in the day. I was wrong. Josh had rearranged everything last night on the phone with Bobby to shoot from the last hours of the night to dawn to allow them to get it done in one day. We spent all of that day recovering from the night before. I found several messy hickies on Josh after he came out of the shower. There was a predominant one on his neck that he started to panic about but I promised him that I’d be able to cover it up with my makeup. The band were meeting at Josh’s to be taken to the location. Chris and Max turned up in the afternoon to play on Josh’s new xbox. Matt turned up sometime later with Dan and the band’s equipment in the van. Despite the horrible urge to constantly puke, I managed to spend the afternoon with my five favourite male friends that I hadn’t seen in a while. Then we left around seven-ish.

We were somewhere off the M1, I’d fallen asleep on the drive so when I woke up in this random deserted place it was really weird. There were a bunch of containers everywhere and we were just off the side of a main road. I thought I would have been buzzing with excitement but our bender the night before had killed me. We had been feeling the effects all day. Kerrang! were there with a small film crew to capture the ‘making of’ for a podcast or something which was pretty cool and honouring. Josh was called up straight away because we were so late. The filming crew went on a bit of a mad rushed and he’d been pulled away for filming. I met up with Emily and Georgina whilst the rest of the band went to meet Bobby and be briefed on the plan of action for the evening. Booley, Elliot, Henri and Nathan had all set up previously and were sitting in the “green room” deciding on what pizza’s to order in.

“I’m dying,” Emily groaned, letting her head fall back on the tatty sofa. “I need more booze to I don’t sober and suffer this horrible state... urggggggggggg.”

“Ha, good night I take it?” Nathan asked, sitting down next to her and handing the long list of pizza orders to Booley to ring.

“Something like that, can’t really remember it though,” she muttered, rubbing the bridge between her eyes. “Ohh I was so fucked towards the end.”

“I know, you got up on the table and gave us a beautiful rendition of ‘Save It For The Bedroom’,” I told her, not completely sure if I’d dreamt it or not but kept a perfectly straight poker face. Her face on the other had completely dropped in a horror struck grimace.

“Oh mother of Christ...”

“Sounds like an excellent party,” Nathan laughed.

“Give Franceschi a run for his money?” Henri asked.

“Pretty much,” I agreed, laughing at Emily’s cringing face.

“She could take over if he like... dies or something,” Elliot interjected, sitting down next to her to join in with the teasing.

“Lovely El,” I said and let out a blunt short laugh.

“Don’t say that, she could murder him now for the opportunity,” Henri said knowingly and Emily stared off into space but her eyes dramatically shone.

“Yeah with her singing,” Elliot argued, ribbing her in the process. She finally gave in and laughed with them, becoming flirtatious in her outrage. Leaving her to it, I decided to see where everyone had gotten to.

I heard a scream at the end of the corridor followed by a lot of laughing. I jogged down to the end in confusion and turned around the corner in time to see Dan holding a toilet roll and saying to the camera, “that was really funny wasn’t it?”

My heart rate calmed and I leant against the wall with my arms folded as I watched them. Dan and Josh clapped each other on the back and then Matt joined in to give them a huge hug in their giggling state. I raised an eyebrow, amused as they calmed down. Josh caught sight of me and grinned. He stayed behind whilst the rest headed down the other end of the corridor. I let him walk up to me, holding his gaze but he dropped it in the last few feet, glancing around him. My forehead creased in confusion but he caught me around the waist, pushing me to the corridor that led to a dead end, pushing me against the wall and kissing me. Stunned but amused, I kissed him back enthusiastically.

“Having a good time Franceschi are we?” I asked between his kisses. Then I could taste it. It explained their bright mood. I could taste the Relentless. “Or sugar buzz?”

“Both,” he grinned.

“You do realise you’re going to completely crash right?”

“Not if you keep drinking it,” he argued, eagerly kissing me again.

“No, no,” I said, chuckling at his enthusiasm. “That’s not how it works. Josh get off.” I was giggling as he kissed me over and over again. “You. Have. Work. To. Do.”

I finally pushed him off and kissed him softly before leading him back to the green room. When we returned everyone was there, with packs of Relentless and Red Bull on the counter. The pizza was ordered.

“Taking a break?” I asked rationally, examining the room full of relaxed looking band and crew members. We were going to be here a very long time unless they got going soon.

“Power failure,” Matt informed me, opening a can of Red Bull.

“We can’t do anything until they fix it,” Chris said, doing the same.

“Great,” I sighed and glanced at Emily who was sat with her eyes screwed up tight and hands over her ears. The boys were loud and that wasn’t something she needed.

“Fancy a coffee run Em?” I suggested lightly and she jumped to her feet. Georgina shook her head at my silent-look-invitation and curled up against Chris.

“Max give me the keys to the van,” she grunted and looked like she wanted to kick him for his loud laughing.

“Like we’d give them to Max,” Dan snorted, holding up a set of keys for her to take. She took them gently and smiled at him. Had I missed something last night?

“Want anything? Actually never mind, no more caffeine for you,” I said to Josh before quickly kissing him on the cheek.

“So yeah, what went down last night?” I asked her as soon as we were out of ear shot, linking my arm through hers.

“I can’t remember,” she whimpered. “And I wish I fucking could. I think I kissed him Jase, but it’s Dan! He’s my mate, I don’t want to fuck things up, I don’t do the whole friend thing, no offence.”

“None taken, but Holy Shit.”

“Yeah, I know,” she groaned as she unlocked the van.

“We’re okay to take this right?”

“Yeah, I don’t care right now, I need coffee.”

When we returned the pizza had arrived and it was completely dark. The power still wasn’t on and the guys were doing their best to entertain themselves. I wasn’t even sure of what Max had got hold of when everyone hurried out the back door. Curiously, Emily and I followed with slices of cold pizza.

They were lighting something.

“You can’t see it.”

“Oh shit,” Josh sighed.

“Play some golf, play golf!” Tom shouted. I stood up on a wall to see what was going on chewing on my Hawaiian slice.

Max ran forwards and bent down into a golfing position.

“Max don’t hit yourself!” Dan shouted and Max took a dummy swing. He took a larger one and a piece broke off from the end startling everyone as it floated back down, narrowly missing his back.

“Max!”

“MAX!”

“Watch out!”

“Oh my God,” someone laughed as he started running off with it held high in the air.

“Woooooo!” Max started screaming. He was on a total sugar buzz.

“You are so stupid,” Josh called in front of me, shaking his head with disbelief and turning to go back inside. I jumped down from the wall with the help of his hand and went back into the warmth. Emily and I nicked a few coats from the green room because, finally the power came back on around 12 and, taking advantage of the time to set up properly, the Kerrang! Crew pulled the boys aside for a quick interview.

“The idea of the video,” Josh said, scratching the side of his face. “Is umm, later on, you’ll see me in black, a little crazy, like I’m gonna be playing Josh Franceschi’s alter ego that isn’t actually allowed in the band because well...”

“We kicked him out,” Matt said bluntly.

“Boys, boys, for undisclosed reasons we’re not allowed to talk about it for legal reasons,” Dan said, it sounded like a joke but he looked completely serious.

“Yeah, we’ll get told off by our label and stuff if we talk about why,” Josh said, grinning and automatically scratching his shoulder. I bit my lower lip as I grinned – he was scratching where I’d scratched him last night. “Maniac Josh in the video properly. Umm, yeah, it’s just kind of about, the song is about kind of...” He was looking down, like he was seriously trying to think how to answer the question. I exchanged a look with Georgina. “Confusion... and stuff.”

There was a small awkward moment and Matt looked at me.

“So that’s what the video’s about, it’s a confusing video.”

“I think like structure wise it’s quite confusing sometimes so, this whole confusing video is going to fit in well,” Dan said with a small nod.

“How they doing?” Emily whispered in my ear, making me jump, I only caught them all agreeing on something - “Jealous Minds Think Alike.”

“What the fuck?” I hissed and pressed a hand to calm my heart.

“Alright calm down, last night finally catching up with you?,” she grinned at me.

“Feeling a little rough,” I agreed, rubbing my temples. I could do with catching some z’s or something. Or a very strong painkiller. “I honestly don’t think I’m going to be able to stay up all night.”

“Go sleep in the green room?” Georgina offered. “I could do with a few hours. They’re gonna be here a while.”

“Good idea,” Emily agreed and we vanished to get some sleep whilst the guys finished off their interview.

We woke up around three and they were shooting the main body for the video. The ‘Jealous Minds Think Alike’ track was playing in the background as they all mimed to the song.

“Oh there you are miss sleepy,” Josh teased, a little disgruntled, he was obviously crashing from his buzz and jealous of my sleep.

“Why are you miming?” I asked curiously.

“Imagine singing over and over again? It’d knacker my voice and we have a few dates coming up soon.”

“Oh...” It was logical. “Okay, never mind. How much longer of this?”

“Few more angles, specific shots and then the dawn stuff, like me running around,” he grinned but was ripped away to return to his position before I could complain. I had no right to complain – I’d chosen to come along. I’d have to suck it up and smile. I was meant to be enjoying and supporting the ones who were actually working.

They got loads of different shots, they covered all the band members, even Chris throwing a guitar on the floor which you could see was ripping him apart. It was like kicking a puppy or something. Georgina gave him a huge hug.

I was starting to tire of the song when the sun came up. Josh vanished for his special ‘evil Josh’ moments which was just him running around. We were half asleep when something actually caught our attention.

“What the fuck is he doing?” Emily whispered as she watched Max pick up some symbols from Dan’s drum kit. I looked up and watched him run off with a camera man right behind him.

“That kid is mental,” I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.

Two minutes later we could hear him hitting the symbols hard which was followed by a “Wakey! Wakey!”

Then he came back around the corner, running as fast as he could. Tom rounded the truck looking insanely pissed off. He must have woken him off. So that’s where he’d gotten to - lucky bugger. I couldn’t wait to get home and get some sleep. Then Tom started after Max.

“You are dead Max!” Matt called after Max as he started to scream. Tom was catching up. “Oh my God.” They disappeared around the side and beyond some containers. They returned five minutes later hugging each other.

“I will never ever understand boys,” Georgina watched in amazement. “Max does some really crazy shit.”

“If it had been me, he wouldn’t have balls right now,” Emily said rationally and pulled her hood up. Her face was set and I knew she meant every word. I only smiled, I was too tired to laugh.

They finished off with the shots of the band standing on the containers which wasn’t too hard because they were all in a zombie like state by this time.

I was curled up in Josh’s jacket whilst they took the shots and I swear I could have fallen asleep where I stood. When they’d finished, they pulled on any warmth they could, I reluctantly gave back Josh’s coat which he didn’t even ask for, just accepted without realising. They trudged back to the main set to talk through things with the crew and finish of the Kerrang! thing. Finally, as they talked about their single, the director officially announced that they were done. At fucking last. With a tired yawn of relief, everyone trudge back to the van with the strange buzz of anticipation for the release of their new album. Things were different. Things were going to get interesting.

***

But then it stopped. When the Summer ended we had to return to the serious business. The guys, who were no longer attending college, went off to focus on releasing their new album and touring around. I had to stick to St Albans and return to my second year of my new year after getting good AS results despite my miserable state back in June. I was more… distracted when I returned.

My mother wasn’t too pleased about me reunion with everyone back in Surrey. Erin was supportive but I could tell she didn’t think it was the greatest of ideas. My mother became more snappy as the weeks went on. She believed my old friends were distracting me from my school work and pissing off my new friends that had been so good to me. I knew this wasn’t true, the girls adored the guys but I hadn’t seen them that much lately. Admittedly, my grades had slipped a bit and I couldn’t remember handing in a piece of homework I was proud of. She’d come home from her job, grumpy and stressed, to find me on the phone or my computer to keep in contact with old friends miles away. She kept giving me the same lecture, but one night she took it too far.

“You’re throwing everything away!” she snapped, her thin lips curling in anger. “Your father and I didn’t spend all this money, this move for you to throw it back in our faces! Do you have any idea how much it costs to keep you in that school?”

I didn’t answer, glancing at my laptop where I’d left Josh, Max and Athina hanging on Msn.

“Jasey!” she screeched. I jumped. “Listen to me!”

“What?” I answered innocently, looking up at her.

She sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. She came and sat down next to me.

“You have so much potential. You’re a very bright girl and your father and I want nothing but the best for you. Don’t throw your future away on a bunch of boys in a stupid band that treated you badly. You’re better than them.”

“Woah, what is that meant to mean?” I snapped at her, flinching away from her pleading touch.

“Jasey, they don’t have the potential you have. They’re wasting their time on this stupid music proj-”

“Mum, they have an album! They have a record deal, faithful fans, they’re doing really well!”

“It’s not work Jasey. They’re not educated. Last I heard Franceschi and the Helyer boy had dropped out of college.” She was right, the boys had dropped out of education when they’d gone into record the album. They hadn’t been to college properly in months before that. I glared at my mother using their last names. She had been friendly with their parents, kind to them when they’d come around. Now she acted like they weren’t good enough to lick her shoe. She’d always thought this of my friends? “I want you to have a stable future and the only way you can do that is through your education.”

“Bu-”

“No. I will stop you speaking and seeing these people if I have to. I am not spending large amounts of money for it to go to waste. Your grades are slipping, get them up or I will take serious action.”

She gave me her ‘that-is-final’ look and I bit back my retort. I knew she was being serious. If I didn’t pick up on my work, she was going to stop me seeing my old friends.