The Past Ain't Through With You

Anything

When Gerard reached the car he saw that Mikey had put Molly in the backseat next to his Mom while Don had taken the passenger set up front. Climbing in beside Molly he fastened his seat belt then nodded he was ready to go. His eyes still glistened with unshed tears from his parting with Lindsey.

“Gee otay?" Molly’s sweet voice tore at his heart. She placed her little hand on his.

He nodded unable to speak. Here this little girl who’s life was about to be turned upside down was comforting him.

Molly frowned not understanding why Gerard was so upset. “Mommy be otay.” She said softly.

Gerard forced himself to smile. “Yep, you are right, M. She’ll be okay.”

“Youse sad cause B and Winsey is weaving?”

He saw his mother glance over at them. “Yep, I’m gonna miss them.” He whispered.

“Mes too.” Molly nodded. “But Winsey say mes can visits we theys come back.”

Gerard was touched by this news. Obviously Lindsey accepted the fact that Molly and Bandit were half sisters and was willing to welcome the little girl into their world. “Sure you can.”

“Mes and B haves fun.” Molly smiled.

Donna spoke up. “It’s nice to have a little girl to play with isn’t it?”

Molly looked over at her. “Yep. Before it was just mes and mommy.” Suddenly her face clouded over. “But wes have fun too.”

They all understood she was afraid for her mother.

“And you and your mommy will have even more fun together as soon as she’s all better.” Donna said reaching out to stroke Molly’s soft hair.

Gerard closed his eyes saying a silent prayer for Holly. Please Lord, he prayed, let this little girl’s mommy come home to her.

******************************************************************

When they arrived at Mikey’s it was decided that Donna would stay with them and Don would stay with Gerard. While the reason for this decision was that the other guest room was being used by Bryar Gerard knew there was another reason his father would be staying at his home. None of them wanted Gerard to be alone.

As Donna got settled in Mikey could see Molly was growing more and more upset. He lifted her in his arms when he and Gerard were preparing to leave.

“You get to stay with my mom and dad." He smiled. “Bet mom will make you a yummy lunch later on.”

Molly nodded but her eyes were wide and scared.

Mikey understood that while she knew his parents too much had happened today and she was frighted. “I’ll tell you what. Latter on Alicia and I will come home and take you to the park. How’s that sound?”

“Otay Uncle Mikey.” Molly whispered.

“We’ll have lots of fun. You can push me on the swings.”

This got a smile from the little girl. “No, youse push mes.”

Mikey hugged her. “Okay it’s a deal. Now Gee and I are gonna go back to the hospital and see your mommy.”

“But mes wants to see mommy.” Molly’s eyes filled with tears.

Mikey looked over at his brother who was standing by the door with his head lowered.

“Honey you can’t see her right now.” Mikey explained gently. “The doctors are making her better.” He prayed that was the truth.

Gerard suddenly walked out the door without a word.

Molly looked into Mikey’s eyes. “Me wuv you.” She whispered feeling very afraid.

“I love you too, M.” He hugged her again then set her on her feet. “Now be a good girl, okay?”

Molly nodded as Donna walked over and placed her hand on the child’s shoulder.

As Mikey started to leave Molly spoke. “Mes didn’t tell Gee doodbye.”

“I’ll tell him for you.” Mikey said feeling he needed to hurry out to his brother who was waiting in the car. He looked into his mom’s eyes. “Alicia and I will be back in a couple of hours. We’ll take dad over to Gee’s then.”

Don joined them at the door. “That’s fine, son. Besides I want to stay here for now.” He smiled down at Molly. “I was kinda hoping Molly would watch a Disney movie with me.”

Molly gave him a small smile. “Otay."

Mikey nodded then turned to leave but now before Molly spoke again. “Donts forgets to tell Gee.”

Mikey felt like his heart was breaking. “I won’t M.” He promised.

*********************************************************************

It wasn’t until they were on the highway that Mikey spoke. He glanced over at his brother and saw that his eyes were closed. “Molly wanted to make sure I told you goodbye for her.”

Gerard didn’t respond.

Mikey sighed, “Gee I have to ask you something…..”

Suddenly Gerard opened his eyes. “You aren’t gonna ask me how I feel about Molly are you?” He challenged. “For fucks sake she’s my daughter. I love her.”

Mikey was surprised by his anger. “No, that’s not what I was gonna ask.”

“Well what then?”

“Look Gee, I know you’re torn up about you and Lindsey.”

“I sure as fuck am.” Gerard yelled. “My marriage is over. Yeah, I’m fucking upset and yet…” His mouth snapped shut.

“You’re worried about Holly.” Mikey said softly.

Gerard closed his eyes again. “Mikey she’s just gotta make it. There’s so much I have to say to her.”

Mikey hated what he had felt he needed to say. “Have you given any thought about what happens if she don’t?"

“Shut the fuck up.” Gerard exploded. “I ain’t gonna even think that could happen.”

“Gee.” Mikey said forcefully. “You have to think about it. You and Holly have a daughter. You need to figure that all out. We don’t even know if she listed you on the birth certificate as the father. If she didn’t legally you could have a problem keeping Molly.”

Gerard sat up and glared at him. “What?”

“Well if she didn’t list you as the father I’m pretty sure Molly would become a ward of the state. At least until you could prove you’re her father. We have to think about what’s best for M. That’s what Holly would want.”

Gerard sat silently a moment. “Fuck, she wanted you and Alicia to raise Molly if something happened to her.”

“She wanted that before the truth came out. Holly didn’t think that truth would ever come out. She was protecting you and your marriage when she thought that. But she still wanted Molly to be part of our lives. Asking Alicia and me to care for her would have made that happen.”

“She still would want that. Look at me, I’m fucked up. You really think Holly would want me to raise Molly?”

“Yeah you’re fucked up right now.” Mikey said softly. “But you’re still Molly’s father. You’re Bandit’s father.”

Gerard sat back again.

For several minutes the car grew silent. Finally Mikey spoke. “Gee, do you blame Holly in any way for what’s happened between you and Lindsey?"

“No.” Gerard’s voice was flat. “My marriage was over before Holly ever showed back up in our lives.”

“I hope Holly will believe that.” Mikey said with a sigh.

“You think she wouldn’t?”

Mikey thought a minute before speaking. “I think Holly has spent her life thinking that every bad thing is somehow her fault. So yeah, I think she might believe your marriage being over is somehow her fault. She came here hoping to help both of us and now look what’s happened.”

“This ain’t her fault.” Gerard said shaking his head. “This is all on me.”

****************************************************************

As soon as they reached the hospital and found out that there had been no change in Holly’s condition Gerard pulled Bob aside. “I need to talk to you.”

Bob nodded, “Yeah, sure. Let’s go down and grab a cup of coffee.”

Gerard shook his head. “Can’t. There are a bunch of fans here. Mikey and I passed them when we came in.”

Bob sighed, “I was watching the news earlier. They are really making a big deal out of Holly’s attack. Several pictures they’ve shown are from her art show.” They both understood that the members of MCR were in those photos.

“There’s a coffee machine just down the hall.” Gerard said. “Used it a lot last night.”

Both men made their way to the private vending area for the Intensive Care floor. Once they each had a cup of coffee they found some chairs in an out of the way location.

Gerard got right to the point. “Did Holly list me as the father on Molly’s birth certificate?”

The question caught Bob off guard. “What?”

“I need to know if she listed me as Molly’s father.” Gerard said evenly.

Bob misunderstood the reason for the question. “What? You afraid the truth will come out now there is so much interest in what’s happened to Holly?”

Gerard bristled, “I don’t give a fuck who knows. I’m just worried because I don’t want Molly taken away from us.”

Bob took a sip of coffee while thinking. “Yeah, I can see your point. Shit, I wouldn’t put it past her bastard of an ex showing up. The news reports are making her look like some kind of famous artist because of her stuff at the Hughes Gallery. If he catches wind of this and smells money…”

“Does he even know about Molly?” Gerard asked digesting this new thought.

“We had Molly with us at Sonja’s funeral. Even though the bastard didn’t go to his daughter’s funeral I’m sure news of that got back to him.”

“But what could he do?” Gerard asked. “I mean they are divorced.”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t put it past someone like him to claim Molly has no other family. I know Holly doesn’t have any family left.”

“I need to know if I’m listed as the father.” Gerard said more to himself than Bob. “I’m gonna give my lawyer a call and see how to handle this.”

Bob looked at him over his coffee cup. “So if something happens you’re willing to raise Molly?”

The question angered Gerard. “Of course, I’m her father. What the fuck else would I do? Besides nothing is gonna happen. Holly is gonna get better.”

While Bob hoped the same with all his heart his head was telling him to think. “I would be willing to take her. I love that little girl. I’ve spent a lot more time with her than you have.”

It was hard for Gerard to control his anger. “She’s my daughter. Not yours even thought you obviously wish differently.”

Now Bob’s anger exploded. “Yeah that’s true. I do wish she was mine. I wish Holly was mine. All I wanted was to care for her. She’s a fuckin’ special woman and I always could see that.”

“And you think I didn’t?”

“I think you let your own hurt, your own feelings blind you to that fact.” Bob answered evenly.

“Fuck you.” Gerard spat. “I’m not gonna rehash this shit with you.” He threw his almost empty coffee cup into the trash then stood. “I’m gonna call my lawyer.”

*********************************************************************

Bob returned to the waiting room just as another doctor they hadn’t seen before was explaining about Holly. He sat down quickly.

The doctor nodded to him then continued. “As I was saying we are going to be taking Holly for an MRI. We need to get a better easement of her injuries.”

“But the internal bleeding has definitely stopped?” Alicia asked.

“By all indications at the moment, yes.” The doctor answered. “But the MRI will prove that too. We are most worried at the moment about her kidney and spleen.”

“How much longer will she be unconscious?” Mikey asked.

“At least for today. I know it is difficult for loved ones not to be able to communicate with her but believe me this is what’s best for her. The induced coma allows her body to concentrate on healing.”

“When will she be back in her room?” Alicia asked.

“In about an hour. One of the nurses will tell you when you can begin the fifteen minute visits again.”

“Thank you , doctor.” Alicia said as the physician stood.

Mikey looked over at Bob. He’d seen the anger on the man’s face when he’d first returned to the waiting room. “Where’s Gee?"

“Went to call his lawyer.” Bob answered shortly.

“His lawyer?” Alicia repeated in a surprised tone. “Why?”

Mikey spoke up. “It’s about Molly, right?”

Bob nodded then stood. “I’m gonna go get some fresh air.” He left the waiting room without another word.

Alicia touched her husband’s arm. “What’s going on?”

“Gee is trying to find out if Holly listed him as M’s father on the birth certificate."

Alicia was still confused which showed on her face.

Mikey explained, “It’s just so there’s no problem with us keeping M while Holly’s in the hospital and can’t care for her.”

“Oh.” Alicia nodded. “But remember Holly asked us to take care of Molly if anything happened….” Her voice trailed off.

“Yeah and that’s what we’re gonna do.” Mikey said taking her hand in his. “We’re all gonna take care of M until Holly’s better.”

“It’s gonna be a long recovery.” Alicia said sadly feeling the truth.

Mikey nodded, “Yeah, I think so too. But we’ll do it.”

“She’s gonna stay with us, right?” She paused, “I mean Gee couldn’t take care of her by himself right now.”

“The plan is for her to stay with us.” Mikey nodded.

“It’s good your dad is gonna stay with Gee.” Alicia said having heard the plans when the guys had first returned to the hospital.

“Yeah.” Mikey nodded. “I’m hoping Dad will help keep Gee focused.”

“You’re hoping he’ll keep him from drinking.” Alicia whispered.

Mikey sighed, “Yeah, that too.”

***************************************************************

Ray and Christa, who’d gone to lunch, arrived almost twenty minutes later but still Gerard hadn’t returned. Mikey was starting to worry.

“How is she?” Christa asked Alicia as soon as they walked into the waiting room.

Alicia quickly explained what the doctor had told them.

“So they’ll find out about her spine too?” Christa asked.

“He didn’t say.” Alicia frowned, “But I was wondering the same thing too. I guess for now though they have to concentrate on the really important things."

“The life threatening things.” Christa whispered sadly.

Alicia nodded.

Ray and Mikey were standing several feet away.

“You didn’t see Gerard when you came in, did you?” Mikey asked.

Ray shook his head, “Nope but we saw some fans. Shit, I wish they’d stop showing those pictures of Holly’s show.”

Bob walked in the room.

“You see, Gerard?” Mikey asked.

Bob snorted, “No but I wasn’t looking for him.”

“What happened before?" Mikey knew something was wrong.

“I’d forgotten what a jackass your brother can be at times.” Bob answered angrily.

Mikey tried to defuse his anger. The last thing anyone needed right now was more drama. “Look, he’s just worried about Holly.” He paused then spoke the truth, “Cause he loves her.”

“A lot of people love her.” Bob shot back. “But of course Gerard’s love is much more important, much stronger. He’s always like that, you know.”

“Man.” Mikey sighed, “Please calm down.”

Ray wasn’t sure what was going on but felt he needed to say something. “We’re all here for Holly. Let’s just remember that.”

“Yeah I’m here for Holly.” Bob said refusing to let go of his anger. “Sorry if that pisses people off.”

“I’m glad you’re here.” Mikey said honestly. “Alicia told me last night about some of the stuff Holly told her. You’re a very important person in Holly’s life.”

“She told Alicia that?” Bob asked suddenly losing his anger.

Mikey smiled sadly. “Yeah, she told Alicia about how you found her on Christmas eve in Colorado.”

Bob looked away. “I didn’t know that meant that much to her.”

Alicia had walked over and had heard the last part of the conversation. “Bob, Holly told me how important you are to her. She trusted you more than any of us.”

Bob sighed, “I just wish I could have done more for her.”

“You did what you could.” Alicia said taking his arm to lead him over to the chairs. “And I know dealing with Gerard is hard for you.”

Sitting down Bob gave a small chuckle, “Yeah, you could say that.”

“But you do it for Holly.” Alicia said softly.

“I’d do anything for her.” Bob admitted sadly. “Anything.”