The Past Ain't Through With You

Not Right

Donna sat back down on the sofa ignoring Don’s question.

He took a deep breath then asked again. “What did you say to our son?”

“I just told him what he needs to hear.” Donna answered angrily.

Don tried to remain calm. “What he needs to hear? Do you mean what you think he needs to hear?”

“It was what he needed to hear.” She answered glaring across the room at her ex-husband.

Don knew his ex well enough to know he was going to have to drag this out of her. Taking a seat across from her he asked, “So what was it he needed to hear?”

Donna folded her hands in her lap. “That he’s marriage is crumbling and he’s doing nothing to stop it.”

Don sighed, “Their marriage has been over for a long time. You can’t honestly sit here and tell me you don’t know that.”

“What I know is that they were very happy once. I think it’s a crime that they don’t try to work things out. I told Lindsey the same thing.”

“What? When did you talk to her?”

“I called her this morning.” Donna informed him.

Don sat back shaking his head. “You need to stay out of this…”

“The hell I do.” She shot back. “My son is making a mistake and it’s my right as his mother to tell him that.”

Don had been afraid this would happen. He knew how close Donna was to Lindsey and he’s known how upset she was about the divorce. Still he had hoped she wouldn’t do this. “They aren’t in love anymore.” Don said in a calm voice.

“They could get it back." Donna said quickly.

He sighed, “You and I both know it doesn’t work that way.”

“Look.” Donna said angrily. “If all this wasn’t going on with Holly right now then Gerard would be concentrating on saving his marriage.”

Don felt his spirits sink. “Shit, did you say that to Gee?”

She nodded, “Yeah.”

Now Don understood why his son had looked so angry. “What exactly did you say?”

She sat up straighter. “I told him I was sorry I’d ever brought Holly into his life.”

“Oh shit.” Don muttered. “How the hell could you say that to him?”

“Because it’s true." She answered not backing down.

Don shook his head sadly. “That was a horrible thing to say for so many reasons.”

Her anger made her blind to this truth. “No, it’s not. If he’s never met her none of this would be happening right now.”

He had to know the truth. “Tell me what else you said to him.”

Donna hated to be questioned like this. “That’s my business."

Don could feel his blood pressure rising. “No we’re discussing our son so it’s my business too."

“Fine." She waved her hand as if to dismiss him. “I told him I didn’t understand why he and Holly had that kind of relationship. I mean she was an older woman with a teenager. Why was she after Gerard and for that matter why wasn’t she smart enough not to get pregnant?”

Don couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You really said that? You really said that to our son?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “Look I know you’re upset about the divorce.” His eyes narrowed, “And I know why.”

Her eyes also narrowed in anger. “I suppose you think it has something to do with our divorce.”

“Yeah, I do. But I know you’ll deny that. However the fact that you told Gee that you wish he’d never been with Holly is deplorable. You were basically telling him you wish Molly had never been born.”

Donna sucked in her breath. “That’s not what I said.”

“But what you said means that.” He finally lost the hold on his temper. “God I can’t believe how blind you are. Don’t you get he loved her? Shit, he still loves her. How the hell none of you saw that is beyond me. And right now he’s going through hell. She could still die. The woman is in critical condition. Even if she makes it she could be paralyzed for life. And you talk shit on the woman.” He shook his head. “Yeah, that’s what you did.”

While she was still angry she was starting to regret some of her words. “I never meant that I wished Molly hadn’t been born.”

Don was so angry he couldn’t stand to be in the room with her. Standing up he said before leaving. “I’m going back over to Hal’s. I’ll stay there until dinner time because I promised Molly I’d be here. I love that little girl. She’s my granddaughter. And for that matter I love Holly. She’s a beautiful woman inside and out. And before you say it, yes I love Lindsey too. But I understand that sometimes love dies. It’s sad but it happens. If you love our son you’ll support him during this time. But if you stir up shit between him and Lindsey…” He took a deep breath. “Right now they both understand that their marriage is over. They will always share a past together. They will always feel something for each other.” He started to move towards the door but stopped. “I understand how Gerard feels. It’s hard when you have to face the fact that the love you felt for someone isn’t enough to keep you with that person.”

Donna stared at him.

“For our sons I’ve tried to deal with that. If you are honest you know our marriage went on longer than it should have. We hurt each other way too long. Is that what you really want to happen to Gee?” He left before she could answer.

************************************************************

Gerard could still hear his mother’s words echoing in his brain. He took a deep breath hoping to calm the anger he was feeling.

“Gee?”

He looked down at Molly who was seated next to him at the wooden picnic table. “Yeah?”

“Why youse sad?”

Her innocent question tore at his heart. “I’m not sad, baby.”

She stared into his eyes. “Mes is sad. Mes wishes mommy was here.”

Gerard put his arm around her. “Don’t be sad." He whispered “Your mommy wouldn’t want you to be sad.”

“But whens she gonna come home?”

It broke his hear that he couldn’t give her an honest answer. “Well as soon as the doctors get her all fixed up.” He tried to lighten the mood. “So let’s get to work on our pictures for her. I’m sure they will make her feel better.”

Molly nodded. “Mes been workin’ on dis one.” She opened the sketchbook looking for a certain page. “Dis one." She smiled showing him a colorful page.

“Oh that’s nice." Gerard said studying the picture and hoping Molly wouldn’t ask him what she’d drawn because try as he might he wasn’t sure what what it was. “I’m sure she’ll like it.”

Molly looked at the picture frowning. “Mes not appy wit it. Donts wooks wike twinkie twaler.”

“Oh.” Gerard said recovering quickly. “It’s nice you’ve drawn your twinkie trailer. Bet you and your mommy had a lot of happy time there.” It was then that Gerard realized this was the first time he was alone with her since finding out she was his daughter. There was so much about her he didn’t know and that hurt. What had she looked like as a baby? When did she take her first steps? What was her first word?

“Mes wikes it but mes wikes it here too.” She was still studying the picture. “Not wite yet.”

Gerard smiled, “I know what you mean. Sometimes I just keep working on a picture because I just don’t think it’s quite right.”

Still looking at the picture Molly sighed. “Mes wants it wigh. Gotta be wight for mommy.”

“But Honey your mommy will love it. Just because you drew it for her will make it right.” He couldn’t believe how focused this little girl could be.

When Molly looked back up at him there were tears in her eyes. “Gotta be wright to makes her better.”

Suddenly Gerard understood. Molly believed her picture had the power to make her mom better. His eyes suddenly were wet with unshed tears. “She’ll love it, M.”

Molly looked back down at the drawing. “Mes only gots mommy. Mommy wuvs me.”

Not able to stop himself he turned his body so he could gather her up on his lap. “M your mommy does love you. But I love you too.” He whispered feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

“But youse gots a wittle girl.” Molly sniffed.

Gerard prayed that someday soon Molly would know the truth. “I do and I love Bandit. But Molly I love you too.”

A tear ran down her cheek. “Mes wuvs youse too.”

For several minutes Gerard rocked her in his arms. Finally he knew he needed to get back to the hospital soon. “Hey, let’s finish our pictures. I’m gonna go see your mommy and I’ll take them with me.”

Molly nodded. “Otay.”

He sat her back down on the bench and she immediately went back to work carefully choosing a crayon. “Dis mes wikes best.”

Gerard smiled at the chartreuse crayon in her hand. “That’s Bandits favorite color too.”

That brought a smile to Molly’s face. “Mes and B wikes it?”

“Yep, you and B both like that color.” He missed his other daughter desperately.

For several minutes Molly used the crayon to make colorful swatches on her paper. “Dare.” She said suddenly sitting back.

Gerard smiled, “That’s beautiful M.”

She still wasn’t sure. “Ifs youse say so Gee.”

*************************************************************

“I’ll be back in a minute." Don said to Hal when he saw Gerard’s car pull into the driveway across the street. They had been sitting on the front porch talking.

By the time Gerard had unhooked Molly’s seatbelt and lifted the sleeping child in his arms his dad was beside him.

“I’ll get the door.” Don said quietly as they moved towards the house.

As they walked in Donna appeared from the kitchen. She watched as Gerard carried Molly down the hallway.

Carefully Gerard laid Molly down. He pulled off her shoes then covered her with a light blanket. In her sleep she murmured something.

“Love you M.” Gerard whispered brushing back the hair from her forehead and placing a gently kiss.

Don as standing in the doorway watching. He smiled as Gerard turned to him.

“I’ll walk you out to the car.”

Gerard nodded as they started towards the door.

“Gerard." Donna was blocking the way.

“Not now, Ma." Gerard said brushing past her.

Donna stood silently as both men left the house.

When they reached the car Don spoke. “I know what your mom said.”

Gerard’s anger returned, “Yeah well then you know why I don’t want to talk to her.”

Don sighed, “Gerard sometimes your mother says things she really doesn’t mean. It’s the damn Italian temper of hers.”

Unfortunately Gerard had inherited that same temper from her. “Oh she meant what she said.”

“Son.” Don said placing his hand on Gerard’s arm. “She really didn’t. She’s just so upset about you and Lindsey. She hates that the same thing happened to you that happened to her and me.”

“That still don’t make what she said okay." Gerard answered.

“No, but believe me. She loves Molly. That I can tell you without a doubt in my mind.”

“Well there would be no Molly if…”

Don broke in. “I know if you’d never been with Holly. I pointed that out to your mother. Believe me by the look on her face when I did she realized what she’d said was wrong.”

“I gotta get back to the hospital.” Gerard said just wanting to put this out of his mind.

Don nodded. “But you’ll be home tonight?”

Gerard could tell his father wanted to talk to him in more detail. “Yeah but it will probably be late. I’m really hoping Holly will be more alert.” He paused, “Shit dad I want to talk to her so badly.”

“I know.” Don answered softly. “I do too. As soon as she out of Intensive Care I’ll go see her.”

“Who the fuck knows how long that will be." Gerard said in frustration.

“Gotta be patient, Son." Don said looking into his eyes.

Gerard understood there was a lot of truth in that statement. “Yeah, I know and I will.” He said opening the car door. As he slipped into the driver’s seat he saw the pictures he and Molly had drawn. He was going to put Molly’s right beside Holly’s bed praying it did have the power to make her better.

*************************************************************

When he reached the waiting room he found Bob and Mikey. Taking a seat he asked, “Is Holly back from the tests yet?”

Mikey nodded, “Yeah they just brought her back a few minutes ago. She was alert and asking for Alicia.

“So Alicia is with her now?”

“Yeah, she just went in.”

“Shit I hope this means I’ll get to talk to her too.” Gerard said in a rush.

Bob understood by felt he had to remind him, “Gee, she still can only have someone in there with her once an hour.” He softened his tone, “And they don’t want her upset.”

The day’s events were wearing on Gerard. “Why the fuck would I upset her? You really think seeing me is gonna upset her?”

“Didn’t say that.” Bob answered trying not to take offense to Gerard’s anger.

Gerard still couldn’t let it go. “Yeah but that’s what you think.”

“Gee.” Mikey said trying to calm his brother by changing the subject. “How’s Molly? Did you have a nice visit with her?”

“Yeah, she drew this for Holly.” Gerard said holding out the piece of paper with Molly’s artwork.

Bob chuckled, “She drew the twinkie trailer.”

Again Gerard’s anger flared. Why was it Bob knew what Molly had drawn when he himself hadn’t been able to identify it? He got up and began to pace.

“Gee, you okay?” Mikey asked sensing there was another reason his brother seemed so angry. “Uh, did you and Ma argue?”

“Called you did she?” Gerard knew the answer before Mikey nodded.

“Yeah she called me but she didn’t say what happened.”

“Then why’d she call?” Gerard asked angrily.

“To ask about Holly.” Mikey answered. The truth was the whole conversation with his mother had seemed odd.

“Like she cares.” Gerard snorted.

Immediately Mikey was on his feet. “Why the fuck would you say that? Of course Ma cares about Holly.”

“Really Mikey? Is that what you think?”

“Gee I don’t understand. What’s going on?’ Mikey asked with concern.

Gerard sat back down and lowered his head. “Later Mikey." He said softly. Right now all he wanted to know was how Holly was doing and what she and Alicia were talking about.

*****************************************************************

After being briefed by the nurse that Holly was still groggy and in a lot of pain Alicia walked in and took a seat by the bed. She reached out and took Holly’s hand in hers.

Slowly Holly’s eyes fluttered open. “Hello." She whispered.

“Hey." Alicia smiled. “How you feelin’?”

“Bad.” Holly admitted. “Whole body hurts.”

The nurse who was standing at the foot of the bed spoke up. “I’ve already told her we are going to give her some strong meds for the pain but she wanted to talk to you first.”

Alicia nodded then turned back to Holly.

“Is Molly okay?” Her voice was weak.

“Of course she is. You don’t think me and Mikey wouldn’t take good care of her do you?” Alicia tried to tease.

Holly’s eyes fluttered closed again.

Alicia squeezed her hand. “We’re gonna take good care of her until you get better.”

“Thank you.” Holly said not opening her eyes.

“Heck even Don and Donna are in town helping out.”

This caused Holly’s eyes to open. “Why?"

Alicia wasn’t sure but it seemed this news had upset Holly. “Well when they heard what happened they both came. Holly everyone’s been so worried about you.”

Holly flinched as the pain in her side increased.

“Okay, I’m going to get the pain medicine." The nurse said.

“Not yet.” Holly whispered.

Alicia spoke up. “Holly there is no reason for you to be in pain. Take the medicine and when you feel better we’ll talk. But don’t worry about Molly she’s fine.”

Again Holly’s eyes closed.

A minute later the nurse returned. As she neared the bed Holly’s eyes opened. She watched as the nurse injected the pain medicine into her IV bag. “My medicine is getting medicine.” Holly said slowly.

Alicia laughed feeling relieved Holly was trying to joke about it. “Yeah, it is.”

“This will take effect quickly.” The nurse said. “She’ll more than likely sleep the rest of the day.”

Holly wanted to stay awake but it was growing more difficult. “Can’t remember what happened." She said looking back at Alicia.

“But you know what happened, right?" Alicia asked slowly.

“Yes.” Holly whispered. “I remember parking down the street. I remember getting out of the car with Christa.” Her voice was starting to fade. “Remember the knife.”

Alicia squeezed her hand. “Holly you protected Christa.”

“But she’s okay.” Holly said needing to be reassured.

“She’s fine.” Alicia nodded. “She and Ray have already been here once today.”

“No need." Holly whispered.

“Of course there is.” Alicia said with emotion. “We love you Holly. We want to be here for you.”

Holly closed her eyes. “Just so Molly’s okay.” With that she fell asleep.

The nurse walked Alicia back towards the waiting room. “With the amount of pain she’s in we will keep her sedated.”

“I understand.” Alicia nodded. She walked back in and saw Gerard had returned. Sitting down she repeated the conversation she’d had with Holly.

“So she doesn’t remember me being there?” Gerard asked.

Alicia shook her head, “I don’t think so. She said the last thing she remembered was the knife."

He nodded, “That’s probably for the best right now.” While he knew that was true in his heart he’d hoped she’d remembered he’d been there. He’d hoped she’d remembered she’d told him about their daughter.